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69 Signs Your Relationship is Over or On the Verge of Ending for Good

Do you sense something ‘off’ with your relationship? Do things just not feel quite right? Learn the signs a relationship is over and understand the truth. 

signs to tell your relationship is over

When you enter a relationship, you’re usually not thinking about the day when you will go your separate ways. Everything’s going great, until one day… things start to slow down. Maybe you argue more often, or the connection is fading. And if you haven’t experienced this before, then you may not know what to do. Learning how to tell the signs a relationship is over for good will give you the clarity you need.

Maybe this is just a phase, or maybe it’s the end of the road for your relationship. That’s the tough part.

Usually, what makes us try to keep a relationship together is the fear of being alone. But that isn’t something you should worry about. [Read: Here’s how to be happy alone and why relationships are overrated]

There’s no denying it – Breakups are hard

No matter your relationship length or depth, breakups suck. There is no arguing that. That’s why it is often difficult to see the signs a relationship is over.

We all live in this area of denial. You are in a relationship, but it isn’t what it used to be. Maybe you make excuses about work or stress, but deep down you know the relationship is over. All you have to do is admit it to yourself, then your partner.

You may want to sit on the fence and stay in a stagnated relationship, but once you take a good look at these signs, it is worth it to rip the Bandaid off now rather than later.

The longer you wait to end a relationship, especially once you’ve seen the signs that a relationship is over, the worse it will be. So if you notice some or even all of these things in your relationship, take them as signs and just end it.

[Read: Relationship break – 41 rules to taking a break and how to plan for it]

The signs a relationship is over and you need to move on for good

Do you ever get that niggling thought at the back of your mind that, perhaps, your relationship may be doomed already?

Read these signs a relationship is over and ask yourself if you experience any on a regular basis. Or send these signs to your partner and ask them if they can relate to these signs.

If either of you experiences more than just a few of these telltale signs in your rocky romance, perhaps it’s time to have that we-need-to-talk conversation! [Read: How to end a relationship with someone you love without hurting them]

1. You don’t respect your partner anymore

You think your partner is a good person, but deep within, you don’t admire them or think their words are worth your time.

If you don’t think your partner is worth your admiration, in all probability, you may be looking down at your partner or perhaps even feel embarrassed by them!

2. Spending time together is boring

Both of you just don’t have anything to talk about anymore. Silence in conversations is a sign of comfort, but in your case, it makes you feel awkward or want to yawn!

There are no little talks anymore, and your partner’s company just bores you to death. This is one of the strong signs a relationship is over. [Read: 15 clear reasons behind why you get bored around your partner]

3. You don’t care

You don’t really care about your partner or what they’re doing with their life. You’re selfish and you’re only concerned with your own life, your own achievements, and your own happiness.

This may make you feel uneasy to accept, but you know it’s the truth. [Read: 19 signs you’re a selfish partner in the relationship]

4. Your eyes wander

You think you love your significant other, but you can’t stop your eyes from looking all around you all the time. You start finding another person or two a lot more interesting and exciting.

But don’t be ashamed if you do, because this is a lot more common than you think. After all, if you don’t find your partner attractive anymore, can you help yourself from falling for someone else? [Read: Things to keep in mind when you start falling for someone else]

5. Your partner is full of flaws

You can’t help but constantly pick flaws in your partner. All the time! Every time you see them, or every time they do something, they just seem to be riddled with flaws and imperfections.

6. You’re not emotionally connected anymore

You’re indifferent to your partner’s feelings and thoughts. You may pretend to care about your partner, but deep inside, you know you don’t really give a damn about what your partner is feeling or what they’re up to.

You love them, but you don’t want to involve yourself so deeply that you have to play a part in making them feel better about themselves.

7. Staying in touch is a chore

You hate having to constantly call or text your partner to keep them updated about your life when you aren’t around them.

Even if it’s just calling each other a couple of times a day or texting them good morning, it just annoys you because you feel like you have to report to someone about where you are and what you’re doing.

8. You can’t see a future together

One of the biggest signs a relationship is over – there are no talks about the future between the both of you. And your partner no longer plays a pivotal role in your big scheme of things.

If there are any thoughts on the future, the last person you think of is your significant other! [Read: 24 sad signs of an unhealthy relationship]

9. Your happy fantasies

You fantasize about your life without your partner. In your fantasy, you’re either dating someone else or just being single and hopping from one partner to another. And those dreams actually make you drool!

10. You don’t share news of your daily lives

You don’t tell your partner about your daily events. And you don’t ask your partner about their day. And frankly, you don’t care!

11. Your partner annoys you very easily

You try not to hate the things your partner does, but even the smallest things they do piss you off to no end! You can’t even put your finger on what it is, they just irritate you without trying.

12. Your sex life has hit the rocks

It’s not that you hate sex, but somehow you don’t enjoy having sex with your partner anymore. You like sex, but having sex with your partner feels so dispassionate and boring. [Read: Falling out of love and 5 reasons behind it]

13. Fluttering eyes

You’ve started flirting with someone else behind your partner’s back. And even if your partner feels threatened and tells you to avoid this person, you just don’t care about your partner’s insecurity.

On the other hand, even if you realize that your partner is flirting with someone else, you don’t feel jealous about it *a little disgusted perhaps!*.

14. You show your worst side

You’re really nice to everyone and you always put your best foot forward in public. But unintentionally, you realize that you show your worst side to your partner.

And you do nothing to change yourself or portray yourself in a better light in front of your lover. [Read: 20 signs you’re a people pleaser and don’t even know it!]

15. No miss you’s

You don’t ever miss your partner when they aren’t around. In fact, just spending some away time from each other gives you that moment of bliss you’ve been longing for!

16. You crave space and privacy

Your partner just seems to be around you all the time. And you hate it! If you’re on Facebook and your partner peeps into your screen, you don’t know why, but you just want to box their face. You love space and keep your distance from your partner when you’re trying to relax. [Read: Smothered in a relationship – 37 signs and ways to stop feeling suffocated in love]

17. Everything your partner says is stupid to you

Your partner just looks like an idiot to you! When they talk or try to explain something, all their words vanish into a haze and all you hear is m-o-r-o-n!

18. Comparisons galore

You start comparing your partner to all the other guys or girls that you fancy, and you always feel like you’ve got the shorter end of the stick.

All your friends seem to have better and more understanding partners than you. And that irritates you more! [Read: 25 relationship turn offs that ruin romance big time!]

19. Your partner drains your energy

You feel drained, annoyed, and tired after spending time with your partner. You try to have a nice time with them, but the constant arguments and differences in opinions just tire you and make you want to run away mid-conversation.

20. You look out for a back up

You haven’t ever considered ending the relationship, but mentally you start searching for a backup! And you start fantasizing about this other person, or looking for ways to spend more time with this romantic backup.

The romantic backup may be a good friend who gives you a shoulder to lean on, but before you know it, both of you may end up in an emotional affair whether you acknowledge it or not! [Read: 24 emotional affair signs you probably never noticed!]

21. You’re more like roommates than lovers

This can happen in a lot of long-term relationships, especially if you live together. You may discuss bills, dinner, and what to watch on Netflix, but it doesn’t go beyond that. It can be one of the signs a relationship is over, or at least a relationship needing some serious TLC.

A romantic relationship should add more to your life than this. [Read: How to know if your sex life is well-balanced]

22. You’d rather spend time with anyone else or alone

When you are in a happy relationship, you want to spend time with your partner. You’re excited for date nights.

But if things are nearing the end, you may be looking forward to seeing friends more than your partner. And on top of that, you may find yourself preferring time alone.

We all have moments like this, but if this is happening more often than not, it could be a sign a relationship is over. [Read: How to stop holding onto a relationship that is over]

23. You don’t bother arguing anymore

This is something we have seen in just about every relationship that has ended. Instead of fighting, you both give in and just let things go. This may sound healthy, but discussing your opinions and opening up is vital for a healthy relationship.

If you have got to a point where you both just don’t bother to argue, you may both be checked out.

24. Or, you constantly argue

Constantly arguing too can be a sign of a stressful situation. Maybe one of you lost your job or is going through something.

But if your arguments are full of bickering about the laundry rather than important issues you want to work on together, it is a sign you’re both on your last leg. [Read: 21 honest reasons why many couples drift apart over time]

25. The relationship feels more like work than pleasure

A relationship is work. No one ever said it wasn’t. But the good and happy stuff should be worth the effort. If it isn’t, it is a sign the relationship is over. [Read: 15 signs of a healthy relationship you should look for]

26. Your friends have noticed a change

If your friends are mentioning anything about the state of your relationship, take note. They often know you better than you know yourself.

27. You develop regular crushes on other people

It is normal to think someone at work is cute, but if you start developing actual feelings for someone that isn’t your partner, the relationship is over in your mind.

28. You’ve checked out

Out of all the signs a relationship is over, this one is huge. If you are already checked out of the relationship, it needs to end.

If you don’t reach out to your partner with news, barely respond to their texts, and just have no interest in putting in even the slightest bit of effort, they deserve the truth. [Read: 15 lessons you can learn from your own breakups]

29. You don’t make time for each other

When you are happy in your relationship, you make time. You change your schedule if need be. But if your relationship takes the back seat to everything else in your life, there is something off.

Not making time for each other, even eating breakfast together, is a red flag.

30. You try to get them to end it

The coward’s move. You know it is time to end things. You are already done, but instead of spitting out the words, you start fights, bring up the past, maybe even cheat, so that your partner has to do the breaking up.

Trust us, it is a lot easier to just do it yourself. [Read: 10 questions to ask before leaving someone you love]

31. Communication is over

Communication is key to any relationship. With your parents, with your friends, even at work, without communication things just do not work out.

You may have a busy week where you just didn’t have the time. If you let that become the norm, the relationship will be over before you know it, if it isn’t already. This is another of the big signs a relationship is over, if not the biggest. [Read: Are you experiencing these relationship red flags?]

32. You’re bored

We all love a good night of Netflix binging and cuddles. If you find you are bored with this rut in your relationship and have brought up ideas for a fun date, but they never seem to happen, your relationship may be over.

If your interests are no longer compatible and the newness of the relationship has worn off to expose a staleness, it is time to move on.

33. You convince yourself it isn’t that bad

This is a big one. We notice it a lot in people trying to make excuses. They say, “They are so nice though.” Just because your partner is nice doesn’t mean they are right for you.

There is a fear of regret in this situation. What if you end it, but can’t find another nice person? This is when you have to realize it is better to be alone than with the wrong person, no matter how nice they are.

34. The good doesn’t outweigh the bad

Pro and con lists may sound a bit cheesy and not very romantic. But if you are wondering if your relationship is over, this is a good way to double-check.

Compare the good and bad parts of your relationship. And if there is more bad than good, it is time to end things. That’s one of the signs a relationship is over, for sure.

35. You’re always complaining

This is how you know when a friend is about to go through a breakup. When instead of raving about their partner, they constantly complain. Their partner always wants to know where they are and who they’re with. Their partner is rude to servers, tips badly, and cancels plans last minute.

When you are doing a lot more complaining than gushing about your partner to your friends, things are not going well. It is one of the signs a relationship is over.

36. You can’t shake the feeling that something is off

This is a hard one to pinpoint. You can’t actually describe what is wrong. Things are pretty much the same, you do the same stuff, you get along, but there is something you cannot quite put your finger on.

That is your gut trying to tell you to make a move.

37. You make future plans alone

If you buy concert tickets for two months away and don’t tell your partner, you may already be anticipating the breakup. If you plan a week-long vacation or even take a new job far away, you are planning out your future without them.

At this point, it is best to officially end things before it gets messy. [Read: Letting of of someone you love without the bitterness]

38. You’re not a priority

One of the clearest signs your relationship is over is when you’re not important to them anymore. You were once a priority to your partner.

If you needed anything, they would go out of their way to help you out. You were one of the most important people in their lives. That’s what being in a relationship is about.

But things have changed. You’re no longer a priority anymore; you’re just someone they see to fill in time. 

39. They’re using odd phrases

You would never hear them talk in metaphors, but now, they’ve suddenly become poets and are using weird phrases when talking about your relationship.

If you hear, “maybe we’re not meant to be” or “ if you love someone let them go,” well, they’re subtly trying to let you know that this relationship will be coming to an end, they just don’t know how to go about it. [Read: Why something feels off in your relationship and how to find the cause]

40. Your partner doesn’t ask about you anymore

They used to ask you about your day or listen to the drama you had at work, but that’s all come to an end.

It’s not that they’ve lost their memory and have forgotten you have a job or are going to school. They just don’t care anymore. Getting to know more about you isn’t what they’re interested in.

41. You can sense your partner slowly pulling away

When you’re in an intimate relationship, you can sense this right away. You know exactly when someone is pulling away.

Maybe they stop texting you so frequently or calling you cute nicknames. Though they probably think you don’t notice, you do. You’re just not calling it out because you know the consequences. [Read: 20 scenarios when breaking up with someone you love is okay]

42. Ghosting

Maybe they’re not fully ghosting you, but they answer your texts or phone calls hours after your send or call them.

When they do answer you, the messages aren’t very inspiring. They’re usually a couple of words and nothing more. Your partner doesn’t suggest to hang out. Instead, they just hope to fade out of the relationship.

Maybe you’re the one doing this to your partner but either way, it’s a sign of a disconnected couple. [Read: 20 signs you’re on the verge of being ghosted]

43. You can sense the distance

When you sit beside them, they don’t feel close to you. Instead, they’re thousands of miles away. Once you feel that emptiness and distance, it’s a sign that they’re no longer emotionally connected to you as they once were.

Your conversations aren’t as deep, they’re not interested in what you have to say, and you feel lonely when next to them.

44. There’s a heaviness in your stomach when you think about your relationship

We don’t know exactly how to describe the feeling, but there’s a heaviness in your stomach. You feel that they want to dump you; you’re constantly wondering when that’s going to happen.

And if you feel that, well, then this is one of those pretty good signs your relationship is over already, something is going to happen, and you knew it all along. [Read: How to listen to your gut and give strength to your inner voice]

45. You’re emotionally suffering

Whether you’re next to them or not, your emotional health is suffering. You don’t feel good about the relationship; you’re constantly wondering where you stand with them, and whether or not they even want to be with you.

Those aren’t positive feelings and signs of a healthy and loving relationship. [Read: Are you walking on egg shells in your love life?]

46. There’s a lack of trust

You used to have complete trust in your partner, but things have changed. There’s something inside of you that’s telling you not to trust your partner. This instinct isn’t one you should ignore. If your body is telling you something isn’t right, that’s because it’s true.

47. You bicker constantly

Constant fighting is no fun for anyone and suggests underlying issues. If you can’t get to the bottom of them, it may be time to say goodbye to your relationship.

One of the signs of how to know a relationship is over is when you constantly bicker and fight, even when it’s about minor things. [Read: How to know if your relationship is toxic so you can get out fast]

48. You fight about the same thing over and over

Even if fights and arguments are normal and acceptable in love, it’s exhausting to fight about the same things repeatedly. Are you always having the same fight? If you never resolve it, you probably will have the same fight forever.

Can you let it go, or will it drive you insane? So it’s either you sit down and talk about it once and for all or give up on the relationship. The choice is yours. [Read: Why you keep having the same fight again and again and how to break this unhealthy cycle]

49. You think about cheating

Do you keep thinking about other people and what it might be like to be with them instead? Do you fantasize about cheating, or have you ever gotten close to it in real life? If you feel this way, you need to take a long hard look at your relationship.

Perhaps, you would be better off calling it a day. Don’t wait for the day you really end up cheating before you call it quits and give up.

Constantly fantasizing about cheating is a concrete red flag that something isn’t right with your relationship. [Read: What is cheating in a relationship? The truth most people ignore]

50. You have cheated

If you have cheated, you broke the trust of a relationship and didn’t respect your partner. You may have reasons why it happened, but your relationship is probably doomed unless you are honest with them and find a way to move forward.

So if you’re wondering how to know if a relationship is over, the fact that you cheated is one of the signs. You’re basically halfway out the door. [Read: Why do men cheat? 43 honest reasons, excuses and ways to prevent it]

51. You have too much sex

Sex might be essential, but it shouldn’t be everything in your relationship. Do you solve arguments through sex? Do you have sex rather than talk about things? Doesn’t sound very healthy, does it?

Sex alone isn’t the answer to solving your problems.

All it’s doing is distracting both of you from sitting down and talking about your issues. There will come a time when your problems will haunt you, and sex will no longer work as a distraction. [Read: Too much sex? 15 signs to know if your sex life is well balanced]

52. You cry about them a lot

Do you find yourself crying a lot about the relationship? It doesn’t sound like you are very happy. Time to be alone? We’re pretty sure you aren’t dating an onion, so why are you crying so much?

So if you’re regularly crying in your relationship, that’s already a red flag that your relationship isn’t good for you! [Read: How to give someone space without losing them]

53. You make big decisions without them

A successful relationship is one where you share big decisions with each other and includes one another in every aspect of your lives.

If you can’t do this, then you need to move on to someone else. This means you either don’t respect them enough to make decisions with you, or you don’t value them enough. Either way, it’s best to call it quits.

54. You put them down all the time

If you constantly pass snide remarks about your partner, knocking their confidence or putting them down, you need to ask yourself why. We’re sure you didn’t do this at the beginning of your relationship, so why do it now?

Perhaps you simply don’t like them anymore! This should be obvious by now, but a relationship requires you to like them as a person. Otherwise, what’s the point? [Read: 18 emotions you should never feel in a healthy relationship]

55. They put you down all the time

As above, if you constantly receive criticism from your partner, you might be better off out of it. If your partner sees your flaws more than your best assets, it clearly shows they don’t think you’re good enough for them.

It just means they’re the wrong person for you, and this is something you shouldn’t tolerate further. [Read: People who put you down – How to face them and grow from within]

56. You are mean to one another

If you are deliberately spiteful and mean to one another, you should ask yourself why you want to stay in a relationship like that?

You could end up being bitter and angry or really hurting them, and that’s no good for anyone. So if you find that you’re mean and not in a playful and joking way, it’s time to call it quits.

57. You make jokes at each other’s expense

There are generally healthy relationships where jokes are okay, especially if they’re also your best friend. But if you always mock one another, this gets pretty draining and feels as though they aren’t on your side.

Mocking is different from making jokes, so you need to learn the difference. [Read: 20 very common reasons why you’re getting bored with your relationship]

58. You don’t support one another

A good relationship means supporting one another and being each other’s biggest fan. If you don’t feel this way about your partner, perhaps you would be better off with someone else.

Having a supportive partner is everything in a relationship. So if you’re wondering how to know a relationship is over, observe if there’s a mutual flow of support. [Read: 10 signs your partner is truly supportive of your goals]

59. You don’t feel happy

Really ask yourself whether you are happy? If you aren’t, choose something different. While you can’t be happy 24/7 in a relationship, you should at least be happy most of the time.

They must bring joy to your life the majority of the time. If not, ask yourself why that is and if it’s something you can fix. [Read: Not happy in a relationship? How to choose the right path for you]

60. You play the blame game

If you feel like nothing is your fault and everything is theirs and they feel the same about you, you clearly get nowhere. Time to call time out on your relationship.

It takes two for a relationship to be over, so if both of you are putting the weight of the blame on the other person, it might be time to give up. [Read: 7 reasons why playing victim makes your life worse]

61. You’ve stopped being affectionate

Look, affection isn’t everything in a relationship. But if you’re asking how to know if a relationship is over, it’s a pretty massive indicator if the love is still present or not.

If you never hold hands, cuddle, or show affection towards one another, you have grown apart. It may be too late to pull it back together. [Read: The 15 ways PDA can save your relationship]

62. You find it hard to think of the good things

If you struggle to think of the good things about your relationship or partner, this could be a sign your relationship is inching toward its end. A relationship should be filled with good memories and the bad, so there should at least be as many good ones as bad, if not way more.

If you can’t come up with anything good, maybe you’re already at the point where the bad outweighs the good so much that the bad is blinding you of the good memories you had with them.

63. You think about ending it all the time

This is a clear red flag when it comes to telling how to know a relationship is over. If you think about ending the relationship all the time and constantly come up with reasons why you should, it might be time to bite the bullet and just get it over with.

Maybe the reason you have this thought all the time is because it’s practically over for you in your own head and you’re just biding your time. [Read: How to break up with someone you love – 18 steps & the things to say]

64. You intentionally sabotage the relationship

Are you deliberately sabotaging your own relationship so they’ll break up with you? If so, just be brave and do it yourself. When you self-sabotage the relationship, that is never a good sign of anything.

It means you’re either looking for a way out or you’re seeing if the relationship is still worth fighting for. [Read: Sabotaging your happiness – 12 ways you can ruin your life]

65. You want different things

Having life goals that are in some way aligned is really important. If yours aren’t, you’ll probably end up moving in different directions anyway. Despite the popular phrase that opposites attract, you’ll end up clashing eventually.

Or worse, one of you would be forced to adjust for the other, which can lead to a lot of resentment for the person that adjusts.

66. You never laugh together

Having fun and laughter in your relationships keeps things flirty, happy, and the spark alive. If you never laugh together anymore, it’s time to put an end to it.

This is why they say that the best feeling is when your partner is also your best friend. If you no longer laugh with them, that’s how to know a relationship is over. [Read: Loving someone with depression and why it’s not your job to fix them]

67. You fall out of love

This is probably the sign that hurts most in this list because you never see it coming. Falling out of love happens, and it’s often out of your control. It’s slow and gradual, until you just wake up one day and realize you’ve fallen out of love.

The question you should ask is, is there something you can do to bring back the spark or is there no use trying anymore? [Read: Feeling trapped in a relationship? Should you stay or break free?]

68. You no longer work as a team

Relationships are about partnerships, so if this dynamic changes, things could mean game over for the both of you. It means that you’re either more focused on being a lone wolf, or you no longer see them as your partner.

Both things are bad for the relationship and will eventually lead to the end for both of you. [Read: 15 rules to be a good partner in a relationship & wow your lover]

69. The relationship has become toxic

If there’s any form of manipulation, toxicity, gaslighting, or abuse in the relationship, things are automatically over.

Of course, it’s easy to think that maybe it’s just a rough patch, but how long are you going to convince yourself of that lie. A toxic relationship can’t become healthy, not unless both of you really work towards that goal. [Read: What is a toxic relationship? 53 signs to recognize a relationship that’s hurting you]

When does a relationship end?

A relationship ends when one or both people stop trying.

If you’re trying to figure out how to know a relationship is over, it doesn’t happen all at once. A relationship doesn’t just fall apart out of nowhere, but it falls apart because of the little things that build up to this massive problem.

When there’s no effective communication in the relationship, the relationship is bound to fall apart. Fights are normal in a relationship – healthy even. But when all you do is fight and quarrel about the same things repeatedly, then you’re both just waiting for the breaking point of when to call it quits.

When a relationship turns sour, bad, or especially toxic, it’s better to give up on the relationship rather than hurt yourself trying to mend things.

There are three vital factors to a relationship – trust, respect, and love. The minute one of these is broken, the structure of your relationship is also affected.

So, how to know a relationship is over?

These signs above are how you can tell if your relationship is on the verge of falling apart. Relationships never end overnight, and it’s usually a buildup of the minor things that become a significant problem in your relationship.

Now you both have two choices from here- either you both attempt to fix the problem together, or let go.

[Read: 30 signs of a one-sided relationship and the best ways to fix it before it ends]

Recognizing these signs to tell if your relationship is over is really easy. The difficult part isn’t acknowledging it either, it’s understanding what you intend to do about it.

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of LovePanky.com, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...