Sexual Flirting: How It Works & Ways to Go from Normal to Naughty Flirty ASAP

You’ve met someone and that spark was instantly there. Once you learn all about sexual flirting, you’ll know how to take that spark and turn it into more.

sexual flirting

It’s a special feeling. It’s a sexy, unique feeling, one which takes over your consciousness, leaving you unable to concentrate on much else. We are, of course, talking about sexual flirting.

The sensation of being so into someone that you literally want to devour them in one sitting. You want them, you know they want you too because they’re mirroring your flirtation, and it’s going to happen sometime, sometime soon. [Read: Mutual sexual tension – 44 signs, causes & secrets to get more horny]

This building of sexual tension is one of the best feelings at the start of a relationship, but it can also be something that happens between two people who aren’t in a relationship. This is how hookups begin!

Whether you’re in a relationship or you’re not, sexual flirting is fun. It’s just the right side of naughty, and it will make the anticipation and build-up to the main event something you can’t get enough of.

But, what exactly is sexual flirting, and how is it different from regular, “I like you” flirting? [Read: The lusty signs of sexual attraction that are very, very hard to miss]

Finding your personal flirting style

Sure, we’re going to tell you all about sexual flirting, but one of the most important things to keep in mind when flirting is finding your personal flirting style.

We could tell you all about sexual flirting, but if that’s not your personal flirting style, then you won’t have much success.

Flirting styles can be divided into 5 categories. These include:


A traditional flirter relies on the ol’ gender stereotypes. Think “dominating and assertive man who approaches the woman” and “soft docile woman who was secretly waiting for the man to approach her all night.”


A sweetheart whose method of flirting depends on creating a real emotional bond, making the other person feel comfortable, and hoping for something more genuine or long-lasting than a hookup.


Not one to take much seriously, a playful flirt isn’t really hoping that something will come from flirting, they just enjoy it for the fun of it. This style involves a lot of banter and laughs. [Read: Friendly vs. flirty – 34 subtle flirting signs to tell if someone is flirting with you]


This flirting style is what you might call… Reserved. A polite flirter would never overstep any boundaries, say anything inappropriate, or do anything embarrassing. Overall, they’re very cautious.

And then, of course, there’s sexual flirting.

What is sexual flirting, really?

Sexual flirting isn’t about “I like you,” it’s about “I want you.” Trust us, there’s a very real difference between those two statements. You can like someone and want to get to know someone, whilst also wanting to get closer to them.

But if you want someone, you don’t always have to want to get to know them. Think about Tinder for one, much of the flirting that goes on is downright sexual and nothing else!

If you’re not sure how to go about performing sexual flirting, and you’re trying to give someone you’re seeing the heads up that you’re feeling a little, shall we say, frisky, then let’s check out a few features of this steamy type of flirting. [Read: How to know if someone is thinking of you sexually and desires you]

Sexual flirting suggestions to try

If you’re new to sexual flirting and looking for ways to tell your beau that you want them, give these a go!

1. Know when to flirt

The sexiest way to flirt with someone? Know when the right time to be sexy and flirty is!

We can tell a lot about someone from their body language. If someone is turned away from you, crossing their arms, or avoiding eye contact, it’s pretty safe to say that they’re not in the mood for sexual flirting.

And when someone isn’t in the mood, you won’t be able to change their mind, no matter how good your technique is. [Read: 36 healthy ways to handle rejection & respond positively even if it hurts]

2. The eye contact and coy smile combo

We’ve all seen this one, and we’ve probably done it without realizing it. Sexual flirting 101 is catching a hot person’s eyes, looking down for a second, and then letting your eyes run up their body to catch their eyes once more, all with a coy smile on your face.

If you bite your finger or sip on a straw at the same time, you get bonus points for extra hot sexual flirting. [Read: Very subtle eye contact flirting moves that work like magic]

3. Talking just a little naughty

There is a difference between dirty talk and naughty talk, and when you’re trying out sexual flirting, you need to stick to the naughty side of the spectrum. Dirty talk is for when the deed actually happens, not before!

Again, coyness is the way to go with this one. Something like, “I’m sorry I can’t help but stare at your biceps,” and then cover your eyes in a joking way and say, “Oh I can’t believe I just said that,” to cover it up and give an innocent edge would work like a charm.

Sexual innuendos work wonderfully well in sexual flirting, because they’re thinking, “Did they really just say that? Or, am I imagining it?” and it keeps the game flowing back and forth. [Read: 30 subtle, obvious, and very sexual flirting tips for girls]

4. Invade their space

You know that regular flirting involves slight touching, e.g. touching their arm when you laugh, or a joking nudge, but sexual flirting takes it up a notch. Now, be careful not to cross any lines here… You’re trying to invade space, not invade their boundaries!

Try standing just a little closer than you normally would, so they can feel your breath against their skin. That odd brush against their skin that’s just a second longer than is necessary. These are all sexual flirting hints that aren’t heavy, but make them think, “Hmm, signals are coming my way here.”

5. Make your compliments suggestive

If you’re going to compliment them on any part of their body, make sure you add a hint of suggestion.

For instance, when you’re trying out sexual flirting, you won’t say, “Oh I love your eye color,” because that’s general flirting and it’s cute, not hot. [Read: Cute vs. hot – 16 unique traits that make a girl very sexy or very adorable]

What you want to do is pick a body part that is close enough to the main event, but nothing too direct. So, “You know, you have great legs,” is a good one. Legs aren’t offensive, but they lead somewhere quite sexual…

6. Stroke their hand

This one might sound ridiculous at first, but hear us out. When you’re out in public, sitting holding hands perhaps, make lazy circles on their palm. It feels fantastic, and it’s just enough suggestion to make them know what you’re thinking about.

It’s not a full-on PDA, and it’s not going to make anyone uncomfortable, but the two of you will know where it’s going. [Read: How to flirt sexually by touch without making it obvious at all]

7. Ask them questions

Everyone loves to talk about themselves! Don’t go into this like it’s an interrogation, but don’t forget to ask them questions about themselves.

They don’t have to be particularly suggestive questions *although they can be*, innocent questions are enough to make someone feel desired and flattered.

And when they answer, listen!

8. Don’t forget the playful banter

What even is flirting without some playful banter? Humor is widely regarded as one of the sexiest traits in a potential partner. So, make your flirting partner laugh and their attraction to you will skyrocket. [Read: Playful banter – what it is, how to do it & secrets to keep the flirty talk going]

For a bit of added sexy fun, throw some naughty banter into the conversation to have you both fidgeting in your seats with anticipation.

9. Draw attention to your body

Although don’t make it obvious! Occasionally let a finger or a straw linger at your lips. Play with your hair. Women, when crossing your legs, do it slowly to draw attention to your leg, and men, spread your legs just a little bit to draw attention to… Yeah, you know.

See, there are so many ways to draw attention to your body in ways that aren’t too obvious but still make them think of you in a sexual way.

10. Get them to take you out

Now, you never want to come on too strong with sexual flirting. But, of course, you’re not flirting for no reason – you want a date. The best way to secure a date without coming on too strong? Make them think a date is their idea!

You can do this by using suggestive language, such as “I don’t have any plans for the rest of the week,” or “I haven’t been to that new restaurant yet but it sounds good.” That way, you’re not asking them out directly, but you’re feeding them the bait to ask you out.

Why you should hold it back, just a little

The above ten ways are top examples of sexual flirting. You don’t want to be direct and too full on.

Firstly, if they’re flirting back, that’s a good indication that they’re on the same page as you. But you don’t know for sure, especially if it’s the start of getting to know each other, or you don’t know them well at all!

By going too far, you run the risk of them becoming upset and running away. And that’s never a pleasant experience for either party. Sexual flirting is about testing the waters, seeing if there might be a possibility of more about to happen.

Of course, sexual flirting is also great fun, and when you’re batting the same signals back and forth, you’re going to feel amazing right in that moment.

It’s about the anticipation, and it’s about keeping that going for as long as you can before you both spontaneously combust and can’t take the tension for a second longer! By that time, you both know what’s happening next. [Read: What does sexual attraction feel like? Explaining the exact feeling]

When you notice that things are heading toward bedroom 101, hold it back just a little. Why? Because the longer this flirting goes on, the more satisfying the final deal will be! You’ll both be in a state of frenzy and can you imagine how amazing it’s going to feel when relief comes to the two of you? Divine!

The importance of reading your flirting partner well

If you go with a sexual flirting approach, know that it’s only as successful as the person you’re flirting with. Some people don’t like to acknowledge sex and attraction, they simply act it out rather than talk about it or show it. That’s their choice to work that way and you have to respect it.

This is also where a lot of Tinder conversations go from promising to zero within a few minutes. You talk to someone, they seem great, and you do not have a hookup on your mind.

Suddenly they’re hitting the sexual flirting buttons left, right, and center, and it’s just too much too soon. You don’t talk to them again. The sad thing is they might have just read it all wrong and could be a really great person to get to know.

This is why you have to read your partner, or the other person, as well as you can before you give this type of flirting a try. [Read: How to make any guy really horny just by sitting next to him]

What if your flirting styles are different?

Part of reading your flirting partner should be figuring out what their flirting style is. Two people’s flirting styles can be compatible, but they can also be incompatible.

For instance, if you are flirting with someone who is quite shy or polite, they might not feel comfortable, and may feel that you’re coming on too strong. If you’re trying to build a relationship with this person, they might also feel that you’re pushing things too fast.

The only advice we can offer on this one is to test the waters and do what you feel is right. You know this person in this situation, at least a little, and you know whether they’re shy or they’re a little more reserved.

Regardless, the single best type of sexual flirting is when you both 100% know you’re on the same page, you’re bantering back and forth, the anticipation is building, and it feels like a pressure cooker reaching its peak temperature, about to blow.

[Read: The signs of lust to recognize intense sexual tension]

Sexual flirting is a fun, ambitious type of flirting style perfect for showing someone you want them. Although it takes effort, all the time you put into this sexual flirting business will pay off, believe us!

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...