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What to Do When You Like Someone Else?

what to do when you like someone else

Appreciating or liking someone else is acceptable, but what should you do about it? Find out what to do when you like someone else and you’re already in a relationship.

Do you like someone else even though you’re already in a relationship?

Sometimes, you may jump into a new relationship only to find that you don’t really like the person and like someone else.

At other times, you may be in a relationship for a long time and find yourself getting deeply attracted to another person.

You can’t really stop your heart from liking someone else or getting attracted to some other person other than your own lover, and if that does happen, it’s inevitable.

But what are you going to do about it?

That’s what really matters when you find yourself in crossways and have to decide between the older and trusted path and the new and riskier path.

What to do when you like someone else?

You may find yourself liking someone else when you least expect it.

It may be their personality or the electric chemistry that both of you share.

A bit of flirting can be harmless, but what if the infatuation grows over time and becomes an obsession?

While it’s natural to find someone else attractive at times, deciding what to do about it is never easy.

One of the first things you really need to do is evaluate your own relationship. Are you happy to be in love with your partner? Can you see your own lover in your life five years from now? If you’re going to be confused about your relationship status each time you like someone outside the relationship, there’s obviously something wrong with your relationship.

Perhaps, you’re being fickle, or think you’re too good for your partner or you’re just not happy to be in the relationship. [Read: Why are women fickle in love?]

When you like someone else, you really need to ask yourself why you’re falling for another person when you’re already in a relationship. While an infatuation or a little crush is completely acceptable, falling in love when you’re already in love can be a bit of a confusion, to you and even to your own partner who would confront you eventually.

New love and a new fling

Have you just fallen in love with someone and find yourself getting attracted to someone else in no time? Now it’s not really easy to fall in love with two people at the same time, especially at the start of a new and happy relationship.

If you’re experiencing the confusion of liking someone else in a new romance, you’re probably not in love at all! [Read: How to know if it is love or lust]

Exciting, isn’t it? It’s easy for you to fall in love and break up, only to fall in love with someone else in no time because you’re not really in love at all. Even when two people do fall in love with each other, it’s only an infatuation for the first few weeks or months. There’s no real love until the sexual excitement and the tingle of those stolen touches fade away. So if you find yourself liking someone else after getting into a relationship, end it if you really must. After all, it’s better to be happy with someone you really like than stay gloomy with someone you think you like.

A long term relationship and a new crush

Are you in a long term relationship with your partner? When you first fall in love, life can seem rather exciting. You’re exploring the world with someone new and everything looks fresh and exciting. The wooing and pursuing stage of love can be thrilling and can give you a lot of exciting sleepless nights.

But as the relationship starts to get older, it ages and matures into a romance that isn’t just about sexual excitement or wooing each other. What keeps a long term relationship alive is the compatibility, communication and the emotional maturity of the two lovers. [Read: How to stay in love forever]

If you start liking someone else when you’re in a long term relationship, perhaps you’re just experiencing that flutter of the first few days of love and confusing it with something else. You may assume that the new person in your life excites you more, but in reality, your present relationship may have experienced the same crackling chemistry and fiery passion too. Ask yourself if there’s truly a stronger reason to end your relationship and be with someone else.

Just experiencing sizzling chemistry isn’t reason enough to end an older and seasoned happy relationship. After all, even a relationship with your new crush could turn out to be the same in a year or two. What then, are you just going to keep switching partners all your life? [Read: Are you experiencing a crush or limerence?]

What should you do?

Firstly, make up your mind on whether you want to do anything at all. It’s easier to think of a new crush as harmless flirting and stay away from anything serious. You may like someone, but they may not really like you back in the same manner that you like them. On the other hand, you may really like someone intensely, but this person may not have the qualities you’re looking for in a long term partner.

If you really do love your current partner, avoid falling into the confusion of loving two people. It’s just not worth it.

But if you’re not really happy in your relationship or don’t really see a future in it, you may want to consider this new dating potential and see where it goes. But two timing your current partner is never a good thing either.

Always remember this in love. End a relationship because you want to or because you’re not happy in it. Never end a relationship because you think you’ve found someone better. It’s going to hurt you or even backfire on you at some point.

Should you stay in your old relationship?

If you’re convinced that you like someone else and not your own partner, then end the relationship if you think you can never truly be happy with your partner. But if you’re unsure, give your relationship another shot. Have a frank discussion with your partner and tell them that you’re not very happy in the relationship. Together, try and give your relationship another chance to redeem its love and happiness. You owe your relationship at least that much.

But even after repeated tries, if you find that the relationship isn’t really keeping either partner happy or no matter how hard you try, you just don’t seem to find the excitement in love, perhaps, it’s time to end it. Don’t end it because you like someone else, end it because the relationship isn’t working out. [Read: Best way to end a relationship]

Making up your mind when you like someone else

When you leave a relationship in the hope of finding something better with someone else, you’re taking a leap of faith. And at times, this can become a fickle and repeated experience where you like someone, and when the infatuation dies, you think the relationship’s dead too.

The best thing to do when like someone else is to let it go. If you’re not happy in your relationship, end it but don’t wait for someone else to come along.

In life, you’re going to meet a lot of people you’d be attracted to and many other people who’d be attracted to you. When you’re in a secure and happy relationship, nothing else matters.

Like someone if you must. Have a secret crush on a few people. Fantasize about it. And leave it. That’s the best way to stay in a happy relationship and get over the little crushes that pop up every now and then. Lovers who get confused or find themselves liking someone else do that only because they’re uncertain of their own relationship status. If you do love your own partner a lot, you may have a crush on someone else, but you’d never be able to compare the affections you have for your new crush and your own partner.

Think about it and make up your mind. If you’re happy in love, stay away from secret flings.

If you feel you deserve better or are not happy in your relationship, keep an eye open. Or better yet, end the relationship and open both your eyes!

[Read: What to do when you’re in love with two people?]

Have you made up your mind on what to do if you like someone else? Well, it is decision time. What’s the first thing that pops in your mind? Think… In all probability, that’s the answer to your question.

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25 thoughts on “What to Do When You Like Someone Else?”

  1. Esmeralda says:

    well ive been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 10 months and before him i had a guy bestfriend that i just started to like and i known him since i was a kid because our parents are friends…and me and him have always have had this electric spark but never did really anything about it…just last summer we admitted our feelings towards eachother but i got scared and friend zoned him..then he stopped talking to me for about 3 months without any explanation, i was furious so i moved on with life and started talking to this old friend i know who i use to like, over time me and my friend (current boyfriend named marco) got closer and closer and started talking and both wanted to be with eachother , we finally started dating after 3 months and now weve been dating for 10 months. But ever since me and him have started dating i would on and off talking to my old best friend just as friends but ive always had feelings for my old bestfriend.. and since my feelings have been going on for this long, i feel like it most likely means something. i always think about my old best friend and my feelings for him. and these past two months ive been getting this gut feeling that i should break up with my boyfriend and i love my boyfriend so much and i talk to him everyday and i dont want to hurt him and im scared and dont know what to do…

  2. star says:

    once you decide to end the relationship with your boyfriend because you realize you get attracted to other people and want to do something about it, how do you break up with your boyfriend? (do you tell the truth about liking someone else?)

  3. Kelly says:

    Husband obviously has/had crush on a coworker. Problem is I not t only heard about her often. He had a bunch of photos of her on his phone that he refused to delete. Also, was neglecting me and up late on Facebook, with video chat installed (swore he never used it). His crush was a Facebook friend, and I have suspicion s that they were having video sex.

  4. milroy gibson says:

    I have been with a girl for just over 2 months and we haven’t gotten anywhere, it has practically died and lately, I came across another friend and I sat for a while and we chatted for quite some time, and now it’s gotten to the point where I have realised I like this new girl, however she knows about my relationship, and I am unsure as to whether I will be able to be with the new girl, what can I do?

  5. Kate says:

    If you’re married, you made a lifetime commitment. Take the sexual energy you have and put it into the marriage. Get to a marriage counselor and work things out with your current love. If you’re must dating though, you might want to think about it for a while and consider changing your relationship to nonexclusive, telling the person it’s not fair to them right now because you’re confused and can’t give them everything they deserve.

  6. Anne says:

    I’m feeling so confused right now and just want to get it off my chest. Lately I’ve had this weird connection with my manager at work. It’s just been talking and clicking a lot never really flirting or saying anything direct to each other that would be considered bad. But I just like talking and teasing each other with him. We just have great chemistry. Today though we were teasing as us and he ended up telling me my smile was beautiful. I just laughed and said thank you and that was that but I got these huge butterflies in my stomach after that. And now I’m starting to feel like I actually have a crush on this guy. But he’s really not my type I don’t find him attractive really and he’s like 4 years older than me. On top of all this I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 5 years and we live together. I’m honestly happy with my boyfriend. We connect great as well and he’s grey to me and I really see myself marrying him. So why the heck am I crushing on this guy? I don’t want to leave my current relationship AT ALL. But at the same time something deep inside of me desires this other guy. I feel like I should just ignore it and let it pass. I just don’t want to end up ever making a stupid mistake and cheating because I would be heartbroken to ever lose my boyfriend he means so much to me. The heart is so weird right?

  7. Lorraine says:

    The most important thing you need is to come clean to your own feelings, and take into consideration the bond you’ve formed and the relationship you’ve been having with the current boyfriend…

    I recently made the decision to leave the forbidden relationship with the “other” guy… I know it’s the only morally “right” thing to do… There is nothing else I can stand by other than what is “right” and “wrong”. That was the sole reason I pushed myself to end it. I’m devastated at the loss of the “other guy”. We had such an AWESOME chemistry. He was the whole package; personality, looks, brains, maturity and style.

    But I did not want to lose my boyfriend. He means so much more to me. Some said the only reason why I even gave the “other guy” a chance to woo me, was because there were already cracks in my relationship; and I agree. But the reason why I chose my boyfriend in the end was not because he was a “safe option”, but because he also means a lot to me and I would not be able to forgive myself if I lose someone like him because of some crush, lust and irrational thoughts.

    Too bad he’s my boyfriend’s boss.
    And it hurts me every time I see the boss, because we all work at the same place.

  8. Lorraine says:

    Hi. I have a really hard problem in my life. I’ve been with my husband for 13 years married for 2. We have 3 beautiful children. I love my husband but I don’t feel like we are in love.
    I feel like he feels the same. I think I’m scared to leave my relationship with him because if feel so dependant on him.
    When we got together we was young abd we both hurt each other.
    We stayed together and I changed yet he didn’t.
    Since being married he has cheated on me.
    He goes out drinks takes drugs and many tunes won’t come home. Which leaves me to think he’s cheating on me when he goes out.
    I have changed my life so much, I am a good wife and a good mum. I can’t help but feel like he’s never going to change.
    Besides his going out and getting off his face.
    He is a brilliant a father and pays for everything, we go on great holidays and have nice things but it’s his drinking and drug taking that messes everything up.
    He let’s himself down.
    I can’t help but feel that my heart belongs to someone else.
    There’s another guy I know (not very well) but when I do see him I can’t help but feel like he could be the one. I don’t feel like my husband is the one :(.
    This other guy may not even like me how I like him, I haven’t ever said anything to him but when I see him he seems like he wants the same things in life I just think he thinks that me and my husband are happily married.
    I have liked this guy for 6 and a half years now ๐Ÿ™ I always think about him even when things are going good with the husband this guy is always there in my mind. We have a lot in common. Obviously I don’t wanna tell him I like him incase he don’t feel the same coz then I’ll screw everything up. I just don’t know what to do. I think 6 and a half years of thinking this person could pertentionally be the one it’s killing me inside.
    I love my husband but I feel like so much damage has been done and we can be so different. I don’t drink or take drugs but he does. He’s cheated a lot of times in the past. The older I’m getting the more I’m wondering if I’m wasting my time on the wrong person. And when I like someone else. What do I do ? ๐Ÿ™ I need help please!

  9. Katie says:

    Okay what if we cheated but you don’t want to continue the fling with the crush. You still see you and your current partner togetogether and your still madly in love with them. What do we do with the crush. Do you just drop them or keep them as a friend. In my situation loose someone regardless but I don’t want to flooded my partner if my crush is just a crush because I can’t have him

  10. The Man says:

    I been with my girl friend for almost 3 years, me and her are strong, but sometimes i get turned off because of arguements, disagreements, but we always have this thought of us getting married and having kids together. I hate to say this, but i just had a best friend, and i like everything about her, its crazy, her personality is amazing she is pretty and everything about her i absolutely like, i even got that “spark” too. But my girlfriend and i don’t get that spark like when we used to ( 1-2 yrs of being in a relationship) i really love her but it hurts me that i like some one else, its like a crush. Everything about my best friend i like. I love my girl. We are only 18, but just i’m in a confusing state in a relationship I consider it a crisis. i would NEVER cheat. I need help, what should i do?

  11. Josh says:

    I’m sorry, but once you are married or in a committed relationship you need to put up boundaries with people you might have an attraction to. Do NOT let them develop in the first place. Keep work relationships with the opposite sex STRICTLY professional. Do not allow emotional support or exchange to occur with your partner’s friends or with your coworkers. Save those for your partner. If you find that your aren’t getting what you need from your partner, work on it with them, but do NOT turn to someone else to fill the need or to give you emotional support to work through it. If you need outside help, get a professional.

  12. Mike says:

    I have been with my girl 3 years and over the past year even though we never fight or anything I have developed strong feelings for one of my friends, she just makes me happy when I’m around her, and I know she feels the same way, but with my currrent relationship nothings wrong but if I been with a girl 3 years you would think I would know I would know if I want wanna spend the rest of my life with her but I just don’t see my self marrying her, hell I’m 22,and I live with my current gf I don’t know what to do should I play the financial safe routine with my gf who I’m unsure of ot roll the dice and either try out things with my friend or just stay single I don’t know what to do

  13. Anna Nicole says:

    I have a boyfriend but I think I’m in love with someone else…we often meet and I really enjoy being in his company.I feel beautiful when I’m around him.as for my boyfriend we often have fights

  14. Jenny says:

    My problem is I have a husband but I’m not in love with him and we have twins turning 5yrs old. We’re just like roommates and I’m not happy with him but he watch the kids all the tine but of course he’s making money more than I do. If I ended my relationship to him I have to pay everything but I am sure I can make it every month bec I have a job but I am scared I can’t provide enough to my kids. But just recently my boss and I We have special going on, he told me that he really likes me and I like him too and we both talked about Our feelings and he said He wants to know me more. But the big problem is we r both married but he is seperated and I’m kinda separated too. I yold him to stay away from him and limit our communications but he doesn’t want it. I don’t know what to do bec this man he is way younger than my husband but he is still older than me and this man makes my day and can’t stop thinking about him. Anybody can help me?

  15. amber says:

    I have been with my boyfriend for a year and 3 months and I live with him and his parents. I love him very much but I think I I love him like family now rather than being in live with him. The feeling i have for person I was seeing before him, let’s pretend he is called Dave, have never gone away and I have lived with them through the whole relationship. I was totally unaware at the time that “Dave” actually had feeling for me until about 7 months into my current relationship. I ended up bumping into “Dave” on a night out this weekend and we spoke about everything and things happened and now I’m stuck. My current boyfriend thinks the world of me and its will absolutely crush him and I just don’t know what to do. This is killing me. Help?

  16. Trent says:

    After reading this it just makes me think What a load of hog wash!!!! Some parts I agree with and others I don’t with regards to to whomever wrote this impartial nonsense! This is why there is so much cheating and lying goin on in the world cause everybody thinks they can just do what ever they like when they like, if everyone was just honest and communicated more with there partners then the world would be a happier place!. If you choose to be with someone then your moral obligations are to that person, and yes if you think your gona have feelings or lusty thoughts about someone else then own up to it don’t f$&@kn beat around the bush with it! Discuss it with you partner that’s why you have one!! So you can tell them how your feeling. Or better yet, resolve your issues before it even comes to that!! Wouldn’t have so many confused and depressed people walking around wonder wtf to do. Seriously people show some emotional discipline! And forgiveness is a must aswell if you are ever to move on then you gota do it!

  17. Sarita says:

    Great article. Been with my man for nearly 14 years and can relate to a lot that you say!

  18. ralph says:

    Broke up with ex 6 years ago, thought I was over her. We have kept in touch, but only platonically. In the meantime we have each dated others and I’m in a four year relationship that quite frankly feels like “settling”. I think about my ex every day and there is a part of me that wants to try again with the ex. We connected on so many levels…two things that led to the breakup were it became long distance with a job change and she was not ready to commit to a relationship at the time….life is short and I’m feeling the tug….Thanks for the article!

  19. Jake says:

    I’ve been dating my girlfriend for almost six months but am now getting feelings for another girl.

  20. wanda says:

    I’m going through the same thing just without kids in the picture!

  21. Anna says:

    I have been dating my bf for a year and I have developed a huge liking for another guy and he really likes me back, I have kept it on a low profile for a while to give my relationship another go but nothings working. my crush with the other guy has excalated ALOT and I feel like my current partner and i’s relationship has gone stale, no more excitement. I have no idea what to do and I seem so much happier with the other guy and more angry with my bf cos I cant stop thinking of him. can anyone please help me and give me some opinions!?

  22. Anonymous says:

    I’m going through this right now.. My girlfriend and I have been together almost a year.. This month.. I am a female.. We work together and not too long ago I started developing feelings for this guy and he works with us too. IDk what to do but I am not happy in my relationship anymore.. We argue a lot, she doesn’t let me do anything or trust me. I feel trapped.. Its been before I started to like him but now every time I see him he makes me so happy and smile. Its been a long time since I smiled like this. I’m just lost and confused

  23. Chelsey says:

    This is EXACTLY how I feel right now, I’m really confused and wish I didn’t feel like this

  24. Chelsey says:

    I am in the same position as you and being confused, I think this helped me make up my mind to realize that I can’t throw away my relationship for some other guy. Thank you

  25. farahjichi says:

    I think if you are madly in love you wont be having a crush to begin with.

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