Realizing that you’re in a relationship but like someone else can be quite a shocking moment.
It’s assumed that because you’re in a relationship, you automatically are completely blind to other people around you.
Of course, that’s not true! You’re going to notice other people, and you’ll probably find some attractive too. If you’re in a relationship but like someone else, this isn’t something to cry about! You’re only human at the end of the day.
If you have a crush on someone, it’s completely normal. That’s not going to stop once you enter a relationship. So, having a crush when you’re in a relationship doesn’t make you a bad person or a cheater. It just means you’re attracted to other people.
It only changes when you actually do something about the attraction. That’s when you cross the line.
[Read: Does everyone get sexually attracted to other people?! Is it normal?]
You may find yourself liking someone else when you least expect it. It may be their personality or the electric chemistry that both of you share. A bit of flirting can be harmless, but what if the infatuation grows over time and becomes an obsession?
While it’s natural to find someone else attractive at times, deciding what to do about it is never easy.
One of the first things you really need to do is evaluate your own relationship.
Are you happy to be in love with your partner? Can you see your own lover in your life five years from now? If you’re going to be confused about your relationship status each time you like someone outside the relationship, there’s obviously something wrong with your relationship.
There is a very big difference between liking someone else and actually having feelings for them. Be sure which side of the fence you’re on. [Read: 20 strong signs of sexual tension to know if you make each other horny]
If you’ve been freaking out about having a crush while in a relationship, simmer down. You can be committed and in love with your partner, while still noticing the occasional attractive person. We mean, come on!
Now, there’s one thing to watch for. How you react to a crush is completely different. That’s where things can become blurry.
But still, there’s no need to worry. This is the time when you should think about what you want in your life. [Read: The common reasons why you might be getting bored in your relationship]
So, let’s get down to business and talk about the things to do when you’re in a relationship but like someone else. After reading the feature, take some time to chill and think about what you’re going to do.
We need to emphasize this point. Having a crush isn’t a bad thing. This doesn’t mean you don’t love your partner or want to cheat.
This just means you’re human and are attracted to other people. You can still be in a committed relationship and think someone else is cute or attractive. So, in other words, a crush is okay. [Read: What causes sexual tension – And what exactly does it feel like?]
People assume that if you have a crush on someone else, you’re not in a happy and loving relationship. But you can be in a loving and happy relationship, while still having a crush.
Let it be what crushes are: fantasies. These are people we dream and fantasize about, and that’s completely fine. This doesn’t mean you’re going to act on it. [Read: Do you fantasize about cheating? The honest reasons why your mind goes there]
You may not feel comfortable talking about your crush with your partner. But, if you feel comfortable enough, you can talk about it with your partner.
Letting them know you have a crush, and that you have no intention of acting on it is perfectly fine. You don’t need to hide these things. [Read: What does a healthy relationship look like? Your guide to build one]
Maybe you can’t handle keeping it as a fantasy, and if that’s the case, you need to make a decision. Do you actually want to act on your feelings and make a move?
Because if you do, and you’re in a relationship, you need to make a hard decision. Do not cheat on your partner with your crush. [Read: The ideal way to handle a crush when you’re in a relationship]
The beauty of crushes is that nothing ever happens with them; they just remain a fantasy.
But sometimes, you get the opportunity to fulfill your fantasy. That’s completely okay, but end your relationship if you want to be with your crush. This is when the lines get blurry for having a crush.
If you have a new crush, use these feelings to look at your current relationship. How do you feel about your partner? What has your relationship been like these past months? When you’re in a relationship but like someone else, it can be a fleeting thing or it can be a sign of something else.
Maybe you’re not interested in your relationship, and if that’s the case, decide what you want to do. Sometimes a crush shows us we need, to ignite the spark in our current relationship. [Read: What it really means when you think of someone other than your partner]
You have a crush on someone, which is totally fine. And yes, you should examine your current relationship and how you really feel, but that doesn’t mean you should make any quick decisions.
Take your time to really reflect on yourself and your relationship. You don’t want to make a move that you’re going to regret.
Sometimes, it can be hard to spend less time together if your crush is someone you work or go to school with.
But, while you’re sorting through your emotions, give yourself some space from your crush. You know, breathing room. When they’re always around you, it’s hard to take a step back and analyze your feelings. [Read: How to handle the pain of loving someone you can’t have]
Some crushes can last for years, while others are a couple of weeks, and then you’re over them. Emotions are funny; your feelings may last for a long time or will one day simply vanish. So, don’t freak out. Give yourself time to see what direction your feelings are going in.
When you’re in a relationship but like someone else, sometimes, the reasons we feel a certain way for someone aren’t so obvious. And if you’re not sure what to do, there’s nothing wrong with talking to someone you trust about it.
They’ll be able to help you sort through your thoughts and guide you to finding the answers you’re looking for. [Read: How to show respect and better love in your relationship]
We know you don’t want to hear this, but your partner probably has a crush of their own.
The thought of your partner having a crush probably makes you cringe, but that’s how common it is to be in a relationship but like someone else.
Maybe they admit it; maybe they don’t. But this also shows you that a crush doesn’t mean you can’t be in a happy and loving relationship. [Read: 25 things couples in happy relationships always talk about]
You may like someone, but they may not really like you back in the same manner that you like them.
On the other hand, you may really like someone intensely, but this person may not have the qualities you’re looking for in a long-term partner. It’s not worth ruining your relationship to find out.
Always remember this in love. End a relationship because you want to or because you’re not happy in it. Never end a relationship because you think you’ve found someone better. It’s going to hurt you or even backfire on you at some point. [Read: 23 signs to know if someone is thinking of you sexually and desires you]
Are you in a long-term relationship with your partner? When you first fall in love, life can seem rather exciting. You’re exploring the world with someone new and everything looks fresh and exciting. The wooing and pursuing stage of love can be thrilling and can give you a lot of exciting sleepless nights.
But as the relationship starts to get older, it ages and matures into a romance that isn’t just about sexual excitement or wooing each other. What keeps a long-term relationship alive is the compatibility, communication, and the emotional maturity of the two lovers. [Read: How to stay in love forever and grow the relationship together]
If you start liking someone else when you’re in a long-term relationship, perhaps you’re just experiencing that flutter of the first few days of infatuation and confusing it with something else.
You may assume that the new person in your life excites you more, but in reality, your present relationship may have experienced the same crackling chemistry and fiery passion too. Ask yourself if there’s truly a stronger reason to end your relationship and be with someone else.
Just experiencing sizzling chemistry isn’t reason enough to end an older and seasoned happy relationship. After all, even a relationship with your new crush could turn out to be the same in a year or two. What then, are you just going to keep switching partners all your life? [Read: Are you experiencing a crush or limerence?]
If you’re convinced that you like someone else and not your own partner, then end the relationship if you think you can never truly be happy with your partner. But if you’re unsure, give your relationship another shot.
Have an honest discussion with your partner and tell them that you’re not very happy in the relationship. Together, try and give your relationship another chance to redeem its love and happiness. You owe your relationship at least that much. [Read: 17 steps to rekindle your romance and bring the spark back again]
But even after repeated tries, if you find that the relationship isn’t really keeping either partner happy or no matter how hard you try, you just don’t seem to find the excitement in love, perhaps, it’s time to end it.
Always remember this, don’t end it because you like someone else, end it because the relationship isn’t working out. [Read: 23 reasons why good relationships end even if there are no red flags]
When you leave a relationship in the hope of finding something better with someone else, you’re taking a leap of faith. And at times, this can become a fickle and repeated experience where you like someone, and when the infatuation dies, you think the relationship’s dead too.
The best thing to do when like someone else is to let it go. If you’re not happy in your relationship, end it but don’t wait for someone else to come along.
In life, you’re going to meet a lot of people you’d be attracted to and many other people who’d be attracted to you. When you’re in a secure and happy relationship, nothing else matters. [Read: 25 reasons to love someone and hold onto them forever]
Like someone if you must. Have a secret crush on a few people. Fantasize about it. And leave it.
That’s the best way to stay in a happy relationship and get over the little crushes that pop up every now and then. Lovers who get confused or find themselves liking someone else do that only because they’re uncertain of their own relationship status.
If you do love your own partner a lot, you may have a crush on someone else, but you’d never be able to compare the love and affection you have for your new crush and your own partner.
Think about it and make up your mind. If you’re happy in love, stay away from secret flings.
If you feel you deserve better or are not happy in your relationship, keep an eye open. Or better yet, end the relationship and open both your eyes!
[Read: What to do when you’re in love with two people?]
Have you made up your mind on what to do if you’re in a relationship but like someone else? Well, it is decision time. What’s the first thing that pops in your mind? Think… In all probability, that’s the answer to your question.
Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.
LOVEPANKY IN YOUR INBOX
Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox!