Everybody is different. Some guys are super shy, some are really entertaining, and others are just plain boring. You may not recognize the signs of a boring boyfriend early on, because their personality could have been clouded by your enhanced perception of them at first.
Everything about them was exciting, simply because it was new. However, once that phase wore off, you got to know him a bit better. At this point, you may realize that he’s not exactly as spunky and entertaining as you might have thought.
Warning signs of a boring boyfriend
We’ve all been fooled by a seemingly exciting person, only to find out they enjoy doing… well, nothing. The good news is that there are a few different warning signs you can catch early on if you pay close attention.
If they don’t really hang out with anyone besides you, they could have a tendency to be boring. If you ask them what hobbies they have, but they can’t really think of any, then you could be dealing with someone who could be a boring boyfriend.
What to do when you’re stuck with a boring boyfriend
Luckily, you don’t have to suffer through having a boring boyfriend forever. There are different things you can do to get past the yawn-fest and even enjoy the fact that you have a laidback kind of guy.
#1 Remember what drew you to him in the first place. Was it the fact that he was a really exciting person, or was it his calm demeanor that really attracted you?
Figuring out where your original feelings came from can help you to decide if the fact that he’s a little boring really makes that much of a difference in the grand scheme of things. [Read: Love vs. in love: 5 big differences most people don’t know]
#2 Find out if there’s anything personal he’s dealing with. Maybe he’s not actually a boring boyfriend at heart. He could be just going through a tough time that’s making him act more withdrawn than usual.
Try to figure out if he’s going through any hardships that may leave him exhausted and unable to participate in all the fun that you want him to be having. And if you can comfort him and help him through his rough patch, you could grow even closer.
#3 Talk to him. The best way to deal with a boring boyfriend is to simply talk to him. Ask him why he doesn’t want to go out and do things with you. Ask him why he’s been in such a lethargic mood lately.
Don’t necessarily use the word “boring,” though, because he may take that offensively. Just be open and honest with him. Communication is key during times like these. [Read: 9 ways to get your man to start communicating with you]
#4 Separate your life with him and your life with friends. The issue with your boring boyfriend may have more to do with the fact that you want him to spend time with you and your friends. So when he refuses, you think that it’s because he’s boring, not because he just doesn’t want to spend too much time with your friends.
One way to combat this is to just separate the two lives. Spend time with your friends, and then spend time with him. Don’t force him to spend too much time with you and your friends right from the get-go.
#5 Start a new hobby together. The problem may be that the two of you don’t do anything together, and that’s why you think you have a boring boyfriend. Sign up for a new class, start a new hobby, and even join a new rec sports team together! You may realize that enjoying an activity together gets rid of that boring rut you’re stuck in. [Read: 20 fun and unconventional date ideas you can try]
#6 Use time with him as “down time.” Don’t always assume that your boyfriend is automatically your source of entertainment. Instead, look at spending time with him as your time to relax and unwind.
Viewing him as someone laidback to relax with will get rid of all those expectations that he’s clearly not reaching. It’ll also let you see him in a totally different light, which could be much more positive.
#7 Schedule a weekly date night. If your boring rut is a result of not doing anything with your boyfriend, make it a priority to schedule a date night once a week. This could help to remedy any negative feelings that you’re having about his being boring, since you’re actually going out and enjoying an activity with him. [Read: Double dating ideas and why it’s so good to go on one]
#8 Spend time apart. Another reason you could be viewing him as a boring boyfriend is that you’re just spending too much time together. Maybe you’re running out of things to talk about and things to do, so you’re feeling bored.
Don’t spend all of your free time with him. Go home, relax on your own, and enjoy your own life. You’ll find that you’ll miss him even more and will thus enjoy and appreciate his company as entertainment when you do see him. [Read: How to make the absolute most out of your alone time]
#9 Find out what he’s passionate about, and get involved. He has to have something that he gets really excited about. If you find out what that is and get involved yourself, you’ll be able to enjoy his passions with him. This will work wonders to diminish any feelings of boredom. You’ll be front row when he gets really excited about something that he loves.
#10 Do exciting things with friends. Don’t put the pressure on your boyfriend to be the exciting one. If your boyfriend is particularly boring, and you still want to have some adventure, choose your friends to fill that void.
They can be the ones to travel with and do crazy things with, and your boyfriend can be the one you come home to and tell about all your amazing adventures. [Read: Make the most of your girls’ night with these 13 fun ideas]
#11 Become friends with his friends. Your boyfriend probably has a really fun time with his friends, and he’s probably never boring around them. Try getting to know his friends better and even become their friends so that they invite you to tag along when they do fun things. You’ll come to see just how fun your boyfriend truly is when he has the opportunity to have a good time with friends.
#12 Evaluate whether or not this is the relationship for you. Not everybody is meant for you, and maybe this boyfriend isn’t “the one.” Some people need a lot more excitement in their lives than what others can offer.
Is this the case for you and you’re truly unhappy with your relationship, you may want to consider breaking things off with him and finding someone who can meet your needs. [Read: How to know if you’re not in love anymore]
Having a boring boyfriend isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but at the end of the day, it’s for you to decide if this guy is truly your Prince Charming, laidback personality and all, or if you need to keep on looking.
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