Boring Boyfriend: 34 Reasons, Signs & Secrets to Make Love Fun & Exciting

Do you have a boring boyfriend? Maybe the poor guy just needs a shove to be more exciting! Don’t assume he’s a lost cause just yet. 

Boring Boyfriend Signs

Everybody is different. Some guys are super shy, some are really entertaining, and others are just plain boring. You may not recognize the signs of a boring boyfriend early on because their personality could have been clouded by your enhanced perception of them at first.

If things were different at the start, everything about this guy was probably exciting, simply because it was new. However, once that phase wore off, you got to know him a bit better.

At this point, you may realize that he’s not exactly as spunky and entertaining as you might have thought. [Read: How to not be boring and get people excited to talk and be around you]

The reasons why your boyfriend is boring you

This is a question you should start thinking about. It’s a safe assumption that when you started going out with him, you didn’t find him boring. So, did he change? Or did you change?

Maybe he did change. He could have been putting on his best “face” in the dating phase to try to impress you. That’s pretty common. Many people think of dating as a kind of job interview. You have to be your “best self” in order to get the “job.”

But sadly, many people *especially guys* get really lazy as the relationship progresses. They think that all those cute, romantic things they did in the beginning don’t need to be done anymore. And that laziness can turn him into a very boring boyfriend. [Read: 22 early warning signs of a bad boyfriend you need to leave ASAP]

But it could be more than that. Let’s take a look at the common reasons you might think you have a boring boyfriend on your hands.

1. You’re out of the honeymoon phase

At the start, everything is exciting and you’re dreaming of amazing things you’re going to do together. At that point, nothing is boring.

It might be that you’re so clouded with lust that you failed to understand just how dull this guy really is. [Read: Honeymoon phase – what it is & 53 signs to know how long this stage will last]

2. You’re spending too much time together

When you spend almost every waking minute with someone, they’re always going to become a little dull. Nobody can be exciting and entertaining every second of the day!

Perhaps spend a little time doing things on your own and then you’ll have a lot more to talk about when you are together.

3. You’re with him for the wrong reasons

If you’re not in it for the right reasons, maybe he’s simply not fulfilling your expectations. In that case, it’s more of your problem than it is his.

4. He’s gotten too comfortable

Maybe he’s just put his feet up a little too much and now he feels like he doesn’t have to try. A boring boyfriend on the surface may not be a boring boyfriend underneath! It could simply be that he needs a good nudge. [Read: 49 ways to rekindle a relationship or marriage & spark romance with love]

5. He’s struggling with his mental health

When someone is struggling with their mental health, they’re very unlikely to be themselves. If he seems quiet and detached, it may not be anything to do with his character or anything about your relationship, it could be that he’s got bigger problems.

6. You need to get your own life instead of living for him

Have you ever thought that maybe it’s not about him but more about you? If your entire life revolves around him and the time you spend together, it’s never going to be super-entertaining. You’re placing too much pressure on things.

It’s time you started focusing on yourself and allowing things to slowly come back to life. [Read: How to get your life together – 30 ways to live your best life]

7. He actually IS boring

Of course, it could be that your suspicions are right and he really is quite boring. Maybe your personalities just aren’t compatible. It doesn’t mean he’s a bad person, you’re just not meant to be.

The warning signs of a boring boyfriend

We’ve all been fooled by a seemingly exciting person, only to find out they enjoy doing… Well, nothing. The good news is that there are a few different warning signs you can catch early on if you pay close attention.

If they don’t really hang out with anyone besides you, they could have a tendency to be boring. If you ask them what hobbies they have, but they can’t really think of any, then you could be dealing with someone who could be a boring boyfriend.

Take a look at these signs and ask yourself how many of them you see in your man. [Read: Relationship boredom – why it happens and 23 zesty quick-fixes to beat it]

1. He’s lazy

If your boyfriend rarely gets up off the couch or showers, then he is definitely lazy. And when people are lazy, they tend to be boring too. [Read: Is your boyfriend lazy and boring?]

2. He has no interests or hobbies

If all he does is sit around and watch Netflix or games on TV, then he probably doesn’t have much else going on in his life. He needs to have something interesting going on to make him more exciting.

3. He hardly leaves the house

Maybe he is a homebody. There’s nothing wrong with that. However, if it’s like pulling teeth just to get him to go do something – anything – with you, then that’s a bad sign.

4. He plays video games all the time

A lot of guys like playing video games *and girls, too*. But if video games have taken over his life and he’s addicted to them, that will definitely make him boring.

5. He doesn’t want to spend much time with you

If he is never up for hanging out or going out with you, then not only is he boring, he might not be fully invested in your relationship. [Read: How to tell if a guy is playing you – 40 signs he’s just using you for fun]

What to do when you’re stuck with a boring boyfriend

Luckily, you don’t have to suffer through having a boring boyfriend forever. There are different things you can do to get past the yawn-fest and even enjoy the fact that you have a laid-back kind of guy.

1. Remember what drew you to him in the first place

Was it the fact that he was a really exciting person, or was it his calm demeanor that really attracted you?

Figuring out where your original feelings came from can help you to decide if the fact that he’s a little boring really makes that much of a difference in the grand scheme of things. [Read: 15 common reasons why you’re getting bored with your relationship]

2. Find out if there’s anything personal he’s dealing with

Maybe he’s not actually a boring boyfriend at heart. He could be just going through a tough time that’s making him act more withdrawn than usual.

Try to figure out if he’s going through any hardships that may leave him exhausted and unable to participate in all the fun that you want him to be having. And if you can comfort him and help him through his rough patch, you could grow even closer.

3. Talk to him

The best way to deal with a boring boyfriend is to simply talk to him. Ask him why he doesn’t want to go out and do things with you. Ask him why he’s been in such a lethargic mood lately.

Don’t necessarily use the word “boring,” though, because he may take that offensively. Just be open and honest with him. Communication is key during times like these. [Read: The best ways to get your man to start communicating with you]

4. Separate your life with him and your life with friends

The issue with your boring boyfriend may have more to do with the fact that you want him to spend time with you and your friends.

So when he refuses, you think that it’s because he’s boring, not because he just doesn’t want to spend too much time with your friends.

One way to combat this is to just separate the two lives. Spend time with your friends, and then spend time with him. Don’t force him to spend too much time with you and your friends right from the get-go.

5. Start a new hobby together

The problem may be that the two of you don’t do anything together, and that’s why you think you have a boring boyfriend.

Sign up for a new class, start a new hobby, and even join a new rec sports team together! You may realize that enjoying an activity together gets rid of that boring rut you’re stuck in. [Read: 25 of the best hobbies for couples to bring two people closer to each other]

6. Use time with him as “down time”

Don’t always assume that your boyfriend is automatically your source of entertainment. Instead, look at spending time with him as your time to relax and unwind.

Viewing him as someone laid-back to relax with will get rid of all those expectations that he’s clearly not reaching. It’ll also let you see him in a totally different light, which could be much more positive.

7. Schedule a weekly date night

If your boring rut is a result of not doing anything with your boyfriend, make it a priority to schedule a date night once a week.

This could help to remedy any negative feelings that you’re having about his being boring, since you’re actually going out and enjoying an activity with him. [Read: The best double dating ideas and why it’s so important for couples to go on one]

8. Spend time apart

Another reason you could be viewing him as a boring boyfriend is that you’re just spending too much time together. Maybe you’re running out of things to talk about and things to do, so you’re feeling bored.

Don’t spend all of your free time with him. Go home, relax on your own, and enjoy your own life. You’ll find that you’ll miss him even more and will thus enjoy and appreciate his company more when you do see him. [Read: Time apart in a relationship – 15 reasons why and how to do it right]

9. Find out what he’s passionate about and get involved

He has to have something that he gets really excited about. If you find out what that is and get involved yourself, you’ll be able to enjoy his passions with him.

This will work wonders to diminish any feelings of boredom. You’ll be front row when he gets really excited about something that he loves.

10. Do exciting things with friends

Don’t put the pressure on your boyfriend to be the exciting one. If your boyfriend is particularly boring, and you still want to have some adventure, choose your friends to fill that void.

They can be the ones to travel with and do crazy things with, and your boyfriend can be the one you come home to and tell about all your amazing adventures. [Read: How to have fun with friends – 40 ways to beat boredom together]

11. Become friends with his friends

Your boyfriend probably has a really fun time with his friends, and he’s probably never boring around them. Try getting to know his friends better and even become their friends so that they invite you to tag along when they do fun things.

You’ll come to see just how fun your boyfriend truly is when he has the opportunity to have a good time with friends without the pressure of trying to be the “fun” one all the time. [Read: How to read the signs your boyfriends’ friends don’t like you much]

12. Try bucket list activities

Everyone should have a list of things they want to do before they die. If you don’t have one yet, then make one together. This will get him thinking more creatively about being more exciting in life.

Once you create a bucket list, then you both should make a good attempt to actually do as many of them as you can! It can be anything from skydiving or zip-lining to visiting new places around your town.

Having a bucket list will serve as a guidebook for you guys to have some fun and not have your boyfriend sit around being boring all the time. [Read: Couples bucket list – 20 things all couples must do to create fun memories]

13. Get a book of questions

There are a lot of books you can find that have some crazy, thought-provoking questions. Some examples include, “Would you run naked for 3 blocks in a major city in broad daylight for $1,000,000,” or, “Do you believe aliens exist – why or why not?”

You can even find websites with these kinds of questions, or you come up with your own. So, instead of just sitting on the couch watching Netflix all night, turn off the TV, pour a glass of wine, and start asking each other these fun, wild questions! [Read: 30 naughty and sexy questions for couples to keep the sexy spark alive]

14. Evaluate whether or not this is the relationship for you

Not everybody is meant for you, and maybe this boyfriend isn’t “the one.” Some people need a lot more excitement in their lives than what others can offer.

If this is the case for you and you’re truly unhappy with your relationship, you may want to consider breaking things off with him and finding someone who can meet your needs.

15. Get out of the house

If he’s been sitting on the couch for the past couple of weeks, get him out of the house. He may have simply become lethargic from not moving and needs a reminder of what the great outdoors looks like.

Sometimes, we get so used to sitting at home we forget the outside world. Take him for a walk around the neighborhood, for an ice cream, or to his favorite bookstore. It doesn’t have to be a long outing.

16. Make some plans

Maybe he’s always wanted to travel somewhere or attend a specific concert. The point is, make a plan to do something in the near future. It’s an exciting process to plan a trip or wait for an upcoming concert as you both have something to look forward to. [Read: Life questions to help you visualize your future]

17. Do something you both DON’T want to do

We know it sounds weird, but if you both hate going to rodeos, why not go together?

Though you may not like it, maybe going with your partner will help you have a better experience. If not, you’ll both laugh at the fact that you are attending an event neither of you can stand.

18. Have sex

Yes, that’s right. The odds are, you aren’t as intimate as you once were. Don’t worry or freak out, this can be changed.

So, why not put something a little sexy on and set the mood? If you haven’t had sex for a while, this could be a reason why. [Read: How to spice up a relationship and go from bland to ka-pow]

19. Take a break or break up

Whichever one you deem fit. If he’s not willing to change, why are you still hanging around? He may change once he sees that you’re gone… Or not. But that’s not the point.

You’re doing everything you can to bring back the excitement and nothing is working for him. So, why stick around? [Read: Surprising signs you’re in a relationship with a weak man]

What makes two people compatible?

Not everyone is a perfect match. In fact, most couples are not each other’s perfect match. Sometimes that leads to problems, and sometimes they can work through them.

But if you think you have a boring boyfriend, you need to think about the similarities and differences you have so that you can assess whether or not you really belong together. [Read: Relationship compatibility – what it is, 40 signs you have it and ways to improve it]

1. Introvert vs. extrovert

If you are an extrovert and like to socialize all the time while your boyfriend doesn’t, then maybe you will think that your boyfriend is boring. That doesn’t mean he is boring, but from your point of view, he is.

Introverts really prefer to be by themselves a lot. They might be homebodies and don’t want to socialize as much as extroverts. So, he sees staying at home reading a book or watching a movie as a fun activity, while you want to go out and party.

If there is this fundamental difference between the two of you, then it’s no surprise that you would find your boyfriend boring.

He might not think he’s boring, because introverts can be very interesting people. But if he’s not interesting to you, then you are not a good match. [Read: How to date an introvert – 41 must-knows before & during the relationship]

2. Spontaneity vs. predictability

Maybe you are a very spontaneous person. You are up for doing anything at any time with very little notice. You like change, and you like excitement. You would drop everything in an instant if someone gave you the chance to do something wild.

Spontaneity can be a lot of fun! But it can also make some people uncomfortable. These kinds of people prefer to plan things out and have a predictable schedule in life.

That doesn’t necessarily mean they are boring, they just operate differently than you. But for a spontaneous person like you, this kind of behavior can feel very limiting. [Read: 18 ways to become more spontaneous in life]

3. Hobbies and interests

Some people don’t have a lot of hobbies or pastimes that they like doing. Others have a lot they enjoy doing. It could be running, tennis, sports, happy hour, art, going to festivals, or any other kind of activity under the sun.

If you and your boyfriend do not share the same interests or hobbies, then you are probably incompatible and it’s not surprising that you would think he is boring. It is important for a healthy relationship for the two of you to like doing the same things.

Bottom line

If after you read this feature, you think that there is still nothing you can do to change your boring boyfriend, then you should really rethink the relationship.

Sometimes, people hang on to a romance for too long because they fear being alone. Or maybe they just don’t feel like going through the dating process all over again. But you really need to think about whether or not you could spend the rest of your life with this person.

If the answer to this question is “no,” then you probably should find someone else who you find exciting. It might not be easy, but it would be worth it in the long run.

[Read: Not happy in your relationship? How to choose a path that’s right for you]

Having a boring boyfriend isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but at the end of the day, it’s for you to decide if this guy is truly your Prince Charming, laid-back personality and all, or if you need to keep on looking.

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Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...