24 Signs You’re Loving Someone Too Much & Why Being Madly In Love Is Bad

Yes, there is such a thing as loving too much. So, when is being madly in love too much and how can you balance a healthy relationship? Here’s how.

loving someone too much

Love is an amazing, sometimes funny, and admittedly confusing thing. It’s a captivating emotion that has to be balanced throughout the course of your relationship or you run the risk of becoming blind to your partner, your relationship, and all other aspects of your life.

There’s nothing wrong with being madly in love. It’s one of the best feelings in the world and you should revel in every moment of it. However, you can’t forget that you and your partner are still individuals with lives of your own.

Yes, you want to get lost in love with your partner… But if you don’t pay attention, you’ll start ruining everything else around you.

And what good is love if the rest of your life sucks? You need to keep a well-balanced life if you truly want to be able to enjoy your love. [Read: 37 rules to be a good partner in a relationship & better your love life]

Signs you are madly in love

Entering a new relationship is an exciting, nerve-racking, and a total butterflies-in-stomach experience. If you’ve met a special someone and you’re looking for signs that you’re madly in love, here are a few:

1. They’re on your mind 24/7

Well, this shouldn’t come as a surprise. Ever since this person came into your world, they haven’t left your mind.

Everything you do, you subconsciously find a way to relate it to a thought of them. Even in your dreams, you’re still thinking about them!

2. Your phone is your new best friend

Now that you have this person in your life that you’re madly in love with, you’re glued to your phone.

You religiously check your text messages waiting for a response from them, even if they’re asleep. Your social media feed is refreshed a hundred times an hour waiting to see if they posted anything new. And let’s be honest, you most likely have their notifications on.

3. You take a little extra time to get ready

If you’re spending a little more time than you normally do in the bathroom getting ready, it’s a sign that you’re madly in love.

Even if you have no plans to see them today, you can’t risk looking unpresentable in case you run into them unexpectedly.

You care a lot about what this person thinks, so you put a lot of effort into how you look. Like, far more than you ever had before. You want to look your best for them and nothing less.

4. You take extreme interest

Their likes, dislikes, interests, the people in their life, and any opinion they have—no matter how small—you take mental note of. And it’s likely that you developed the same likes and dislikes, too. [Read: 33 best hobbies for couples to have fun, bond & feel closer than ever!]

5. You put everything aside to talk to them

When you’re madly in love, you tend to drop everything for this person. This means you’ll cancel plans, stop what hobby you’re doing, or even skip out on working to see this person.

Fast-growing attachment drives your desire to make sacrifices to be with this person. They’re at the front of your mind, so it’s no surprise that they have your absolute top priority.

6. Their name cheers you up

Another sign that you are madly in love is if their name cheers you up. Whether you see the notifications on your phone of their name, or it’s mentioned in a conversation, your mood is easily influenced by the thought of them.

7. Re-reading old text messages

In your free time, you’re re-reading old text messages between you and your love interest, aren’t you?

It’s painful waiting for them to respond to a text you sent, so you spend your time browsing through your previous messages to fill the void in your heart.

8. You talk about them all of the time

This sign of being madly in love you may not notice right away, but it’s likely that you talk about them all of the time without even realizing it. Even if the conversation has absolutely no correlation to them, you’ll find a way to bring them up.

Any excuse to talk about this person is a good excuse in your mind. And let’s be honest, you can’t help it! They’re the first thing on your mind, always.

9. You search for any sign they like you back

It can be hard to gauge how someone feels about you, especially romantically. So, you might find yourself searching for any clue or sign that this person likes you back.

This is a sign that you have really deep feelings for them and are hoping they feel the same toward you! [Read: Does he love me? 86 warm signs he’s past like & seriously in love with you]

10. You’re reading this feature

Let’s be honest, you don’t normally find yourself reading a feature about being madly in love if you are, in fact, not madly in love.

If your gut is telling you that you’re madly or obsessively in love, listen to it! [Read: Gut instinct – what it is, how it works & 30 tips to follow & listen to your gut]

When is loving someone too much not a good thing?

When you’ve fallen madly in love, it’s easy to get caught up in your relationship and only want to spend time with your partner. But that can actually hurt your relationship and make your love burn out faster than it even started.

Spending too much time together can make you get sick of them. We know what you’re thinking, you won’t get sick of them if you’re truly in love.

But you will if you spend every waking hour together. You can also grow to resent them the more time you spend away from other things you love.

You’ll spend less time on your hobbies and way more time with them. This will ultimately bring you less joy, not more. You love the things you do and you love your friends.

Eventually, you’ll start to blame your partner for keeping you from them and resentment will form – even if you don’t notice it at first. [Read: How to stop obsessing over someone – the 22 things you MUST do]

The psychology of loving someone too much

Someone who loves too much will usually have an attachment style called insecure-anxious attachment. They are always worried that their loved ones will reject or abandon them. Because of this, they are constantly feeling insecure and anxious.

This attachment style affects their motives, feelings, and behavior in intimate relationships.

They often have an incomplete or damaged sense of who they are. In fact, they usually have a negative view of themselves and feel like they don’t deserve love.

Due to their low self-esteem, they seek approval, constant validation, and reassurance about their self-worth from other people. And because of this, they have an emotional hunger for love and care, which can lead them to loving too much.

What does it mean to love someone too much? 

Many people are addicted to loving too much and smothering a partner without even realizing it. And while they do this, they ignore all the warning signs that their behavior is too much and are completely taken off guard when their partner leaves them.

You need to remember that as exciting as being in a new relationship is, you have to watch your step. Although there is nothing wrong with showering your partner with love, there is a fine line between being attentive and smothering.

Do not be blinded by love and learn to pay attention to the signals. When you constantly cross the line between your partner’s tolerance and annoyance, your partner will probably display telltale signs that enough is enough and that they need you to back away.

Some of these signs include but are not limited to, pulling disappearing acts on you, making excuses for breaking dates, and as a last resort, breaking up with you! [Read: 33 strong ways to stop loving someone and read the signs it’s time to walk away]

Reasons why loving someone too much kills the love

Loving someone is wanting the best for them, even if it means you are not getting what you want. Here are five big reasons why too much smothering will push your new love away.

1. No one wants to lose their freedom

Wing clipping is the act of trimming a bird’s flight feathers so that it is no longer able to fly. You don’t want to do this to the person you love.

But by smothering them with too much affection, you essentially do just that. You take away their freedom, leaving them unable to make decisions without having you burn holes into the back of their head.

You have to give your partner freedom, even in marriage. This doesn’t mean doing something extreme like turning a blind eye to extramarital affairs.

It simply means letting them make decisions without the fear of having you come down hard on them. [Read: Controlling relationship – 42 signs & ways to love without bullying]

Do not place the person you love in a gilded cage because no matter how wonderful it is, it is a prison that no person should have to live in.

Nothing good comes from clipping your new love’s wings. Let them have their freedom and if you are really meant to be, you will be together no matter what.

2. Stunts yours and their growth

Smothering someone will stunt not just the relationship’s growth, but your partner’s growth as well. This is true when it comes to dating someone new, especially if both of you are young. You must give yourself and your partner the chance to be two separate individuals.

You also have to give the other person sufficient time and space to accept you into their life, no matter how much you love each other.

Loving someone means respecting their needs and desires and not forcing your way of life onto them.

Unless your partner is ready to fully accept you into their life and change their habits to make room for yours, you cannot break down the door and invite yourself in. 

Building the perfect relationship takes time. You have to remember that if you rush things and take control of your partner, your relationship will never grow to the stage you crave as it will forever be stunted. [Read: Being taken for granted? 71 BIG signs, why it happens, and ways to stop them]

3. Stifles their independence 

You will not give your significant other the important chance to be who they are if you smother them with too much attention.

When you smother your loved one, decisions that they make have to involve you, whether they want to or not.

From when they shower, what they eat, to what career they choose, your partner can’t be independent. So you have to stop being in their face constantly.

The last thing that you want to do is oppress the person you love. You have to give them the independence that every human being needs to make their own decisions and grow into the person they are meant to be.

If you try to limit your new love’s ability to make choices, it is only a matter of time before they start realizing that their entire life is a prison and they will do all they can to break free. [Read: Clingy boyfriend – 16 signs he’s just too needy and how to help him change]

4. Familiarity breeds contempt

Everyone needs their space. Even old married couples appreciate spending some time away from each other. Absence certainly makes the heart grow fonder as it gives your partner the chance to miss you.

Most of the time, people tend to appreciate what they have when they are away from it. You might smother your loved one with too much attention and neglect time apart. Instead of doing this, you need to give them the much-needed space.

If you don’t, you will inevitably invite contempt and a sense of boredom. 

This does not mean that long-term romances are boring. It simply means that the two parties have figured out how to balance peaceful space and love without smothering each other.

If you are with someone new, keep in mind that a relationship is a delicate balancing act that takes time and effort to master. So, give your new love some space! Let him have his boys’ night out, or her night out with the girls, without the need to come down hard on them. 

Remember that familiarity breeds contempt, so always give each other space and time for friends and hobbies outside of the relationship. [Read: 30 relationship rules, secrets, and tips to make your love life way, WAY better!]

5. It shows desperation

When you smother a new person, you will come off as needy and desperate, even if you are not. Always remember that no one wants to be in a relationship with someone who cannot stand on their own two feet.

You have to take it upon yourself to be independent. This will prove not just to your new love but to yourself that you can cope with the responsibility of being in an adult relationship. [Read: 21 signs of a clingy girlfriend and how to avoid turning into one]

Love demands trust. If you cannot give your partner space without having to play 20 questions, you’ll be coming across as insecure.

No one wants to be with someone who comes off as being crazy and needy, so be careful not to smother your lover as it comes off as looking desperate—a totally unattractive quality to have in a partner!

Why is it wrong to love someone too much? 

Love is always a beautiful thing. However, just as with anything in life, emotions can be harmful if they are excessive. It’s just like any kind of excess – food, smoking, drinking, shopping, gambling, you name it.

Intense love blinds people and makes them act in inappropriate ways.

When someone loves too much, the intensity might prevent them from seeing the true nature of the relationship. For example, it could make them blind to the red flags that they should see and act upon, like abuse.

Or when someone loves too much, they might believe that the object of their affection doesn’t love them as much as they do.

Cases like this happen when a partner feels that they give more than they receive. Love shouldn’t be a mathematical calculation of give and take. But when there is a lack of reciprocity, then it can be harmful.

People who experience excessive love feel like it’s natural to feel that they love too much. They keep investing in a relationship that might not have any chance of surviving because their partner doesn’t feel the same way.

Loving too much might also hurt your partner, like we said before, when the one feeling too much love doesn’t allow the other one to have any independence or privacy. [Read: 42 red flags and signs it’s time to end your relationship and move on for good]

How to balance your life when you’re madly in love

Knowing how to keep your life balanced when you’ve freshly fallen in love can be hard. You’re basically blinded by your partner and these new and intense feelings you have for them.

And while this might not be a bad thing, slipping up at work and not nurturing your friendships can be costly. So, here’s everything you need to know so that you can maintain your life even after falling for someone.

1. Spend time apart

Haven’t you ever heard the saying, “Distance makes the heart grow fonder?” It’s not just something people say to be cute. It’s true. You need to spend time without each other in order for your relationship to be healthy.

Yes, even people who live together will find time to spend apart. You need to keep your sanity. It’ll also make you happier when you do get to see your significant other.

You’ll cherish your time more and be able to enjoy being with them a lot more than if you spend every day together. [Read: You-complete-me relationships – why you need your space]

2. Schedule “you” days

Basically, have a set day each week where your partner goes somewhere else so you can have a day just to yourself. The benefit of actually scheduling these days is that you’ll do them even if you don’t want to.

Being around your significant other can be a little exhausting, even if you are madly in love with them. It’ll be nice to have a day where you can relax and just do things you enjoy without having to worry about your partner.

3. Keep in touch with friends

Just stay connected. You don’t have to talk to them about every little thing all the time but you should make sure to talk to them.

Friends can drift away the less you see them. And if you’re madly in love with someone, you’ll see your friends less often.

But if you keep in touch and make an effort with them, they’ll continue inviting you out and making an effort to see you, too.

Reach out to them and make sure they know that even though you’re madly in love, you still have time for them. They should never have to question if you want to still be friends and see them.

If you don’t, they’ll likely reach out less and less. And before you know it, you won’t have friends left. [Read: How to apologize for ghosting a friend, make up with them & fix the friendship]

4. Never give up your hobbies

Your hobbies are what make you, you. They’re the things that bring you joy aside from your partner. When you can’t do the things you enjoy because of your significant other, it’ll form a rift in your relationship.

At first, you won’t even notice it. But after a while, you’ll start growing upset with them without knowing why and it’ll be because you can’t enjoy your hobbies.

This feeling of being upset eventually leads to resentment toward your partner and your relationship.

So, make sure you’re actively working on your hobbies whenever you get the chance.

5. Communicate with your partner well

Communication is key in any healthy relationship. You both need to make sure you tell each other when you’re upset or need space. Talk to them about missing your friends and wanting to spend more time with them.

If you’re truly in love, then you both want the other to be happy. Keeping your line of communication open will certainly help with that.

6. Plan out your date nights

If you find yourself grasping for your partner’s attention often despite their busy schedule, discuss planning out date nights. Set time aside on certain days of the month to be with each other.

A dedicated date night confirms you’ll get to be with your partner and you’ll feel more secure doing other activities alone in the meantime.

It’s important to have the option of making other plans if you want to keep your life balanced. [Read: 45 special and sweet date ideas every couple should have on their checklist]

7. Don’t ignore your other duties

You have a life to live, just because you’re madly in love doesn’t mean you can ignore it. This person is a part of your life now, but just a part.

Don’t neglect your other duties and responsibilities because you’re distracted by their presence. In order to have balance, you need to keep the other things in your life going strong.

8. Get into a routine

Having a routine with work, friends, and your significant other will help you maintain the balance you need to function happily.

You’ll be able to see your friends this way, you’ll be able to dedicate time to work this way, and your relationship will not suffer. [Read: Quick and easy morning routines to jumpstart a great day]

9. Remember that it’s healthy to keep the balance

If you’re madly in love, then you’ll want to stay that way, right? If you don’t keep a balance in your life, your relationship will suffer. Just remember this and it’ll help you put forth an effort to keep your life balanced.

[Read: Smothered in a relationship – 37 signs and ways to stop feeling suffocated]

You love your partner and enjoy being around them all the time. But remember that loving them too much and smothering them will only hurt your relationship. Finding the perfect balance in life is the perfect way to love not too madly.

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of LovePanky.com, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...