Sometimes in life we like people we know we can never have. If this is you, here’s how to deal with the heartache and understand how to stop liking a guy.
The heart wants what the heart wants. We just can’t help who we like sometimes no matter how hard we try to NOT like them. If we could actually control the people we fall for, the world would probably be a lot better place. Since it is not a perfect world, we’ve got you covered on how to stop liking a guy you know you can’t have.
The truth is that our bodies and minds control who we find attractive and who we actually have feelings for. The problem with this is they don’t take into account if that person is available, or if there would ever possibly be a reality in which we would actually be with that person.
Choosing who you love
Now, sometimes we do have the power to choose who we love. True love, after all, can sometimes be a choice we make. You may not be able to choose if you have feelings for someone, but you can choose to love them and show this love every single day.
We sometimes make the mistake of getting into a relationship with someone we like and whose company we enjoy. But never considering if we could truly spend our lives choosing to love them. This is often times worse than liking someone you can never have. [Read: The 12 rules of attraction as explained by science]
How to stop liking a guy you know you can’t have
The reason you can’t have him doesn’t really matter in this case. The point—you have feelings for him and you can’t possibly be with him. That reality is a hard one to swallow for some people. They torture themselves hoping otherwise.
If you really want to get past your maddening crush and finally be on your way to liking someone you actually have a chance with, you’ll need our help. These are all the different ways to stop liking a guy you know you can’t have.
#1 Accept you can’t have him. There are things in life you can’t change. You just have to accept liking someone you know you can’t have is one of them. In order to stop liking them and really move on, accept your reality.
If you continue to deny you can’t have him, you’ll just grow deeper and deeper feelings for him. Eventually you’ll be absolutely crushed. Accept that you can’t have him and it’ll be easier to stop liking him. [Read: The pain of loving someone who doesn’t love you back]
#2 Stay busy with friends. The best thing to do at a time like this is to simply get your mind off of him. Go spend time with your friends. Surround yourself with people who love and care for you.
Doing this keeps your mind off of him, and you’ll be able to emotionally distance yourself form him more and more if you stay busy with friends. This makes it easier for you to forget about him over time until you never think of him at all.
#3 Pick up new hobbies. Just like keeping busy with friends helps, so does picking up some new hobbies. Don’t just sit at home and mope about how you can’t have him and how much you like him. Get out there and find something new to excite you!
#4 Be sad about it for a little while. A lot of people make the mistake of shoving their sadness aside at a time like this in the hopes it will just go away. Unfortunately, that’s just not how life works.
When you feel that sadness sweeping over you when you think about him, let yourself be sad. Hell, cry if you need to! Getting out those feelings helps you come to terms with them. Ultimately, it helps you get over him. [Read: 45 saddest lost love quotes for the broken-hearted]
#5 Keep your distance from him. Most people want to spend loads of time around the people they like, and I bet you’re no different. You probably spend your free time thinking up different ways to “accidentally” bump into him simply because you want to see him.
Stop doing this. It’s only solidifying your feelings and making it harder for you to stop liking him. Distance yourself from ever even seeing him, and you’ll stop liking this guy you know you can’t have.
#6 Don’t even mention him. Instead of only avoiding seeing him in person, just don’t even talk about him—ever. Even when he pops into your mind and you want to tell your friends about him and how much you wish you had him, don’t.
By stopping yourself from talking about him, you train your mind into not thinking about him at all. This helps you stop liking him. Keep your lips sealed when you want to mention his name, and refuse to talk about him even if your friends bring him up.
#7 Go out and have fun. Don’t sit at home and sulk about your unfortunate reality. Get on out there and have some fun with your friends! Go to the bars. Hit up the mall. Enjoy some fun movies. Be distracted with having a good time. It’ll help you to stop liking a guy you know you can’t have. [Read: Make the most of your girl’s night using our 13 fun ideas]
#8 Read a new book. Sometimes reality is so hard to deal with we need a break from it. I suggest buying a new set of books and getting completely lost in them instead of losing yourself in your own reality.
Books are amazing because they allow you to focus on the problems the character’s face instead of having to deal with your own. This distraction helps you stop liking him.
#9 Avoid romantic movies. The worst thing for you to do at a time like this is turn on the TV and watch a romantic movie that is completely unrealistic. These movies don’t show you how real life love happens. It only fills your mind with false hope.
Turn off all romantic movies and anything that makes your heart ache and miss him more. It’s best for you to stick to reading and being out and about so you’re not lured in by the fake promises romantic movies seem to give you.
#10 Focus on bettering yourself. Instead of worrying about how you can’t have him and how you want to stop liking him, focus on making yourself better. Hit up the gym more, eat healthier, and build a better self-esteem. Soon you’ll forget all about some guy you can’t have. [Read: How to stop loving someone else… And love yourself more]
#11 Flirt with new people. I’m not saying you have to give in and start flirting with ONLY guys you like because right now, that’s only one person and you can’t have him. Flirt with everyone!
By flirting with people you don’t even like, you may realize you don’t actually want to be with him anyway. Who knows? You may even flirt with someone and end up liking them instead!
#12 Start meeting new guys. You can’t stop liking someone until another has caught your attention. Even though you don’t want to be with someone else right now, if you want to stop liking a guy, you have to meet new people so they can draw you away from him. [Read: Meeting a guy at the gym: 8 essential dos and don’ts]
#13 If it’s meant to be, it will be. Never forget that no matter what, life has a plan for you. If you two are meant to be, you will be and nothing will get in your way. However, if you simply accept this reality it makes getting over him SO much easier.
It’s not easy to stop liking a guy you know you can’t have. There’s something about the forbidden love fantasy that draws you to him. But if you do these 13 things, you’ll stop liking him and be able to give your feelings to someone you can be with.
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Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...