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31 Signs Your Husband Doesn’t Love You Anymore & How to Deal

If you feel like your love isn’t what it used to be, pay attention to the signs your husband doesn’t love you anymore, and learn what to do about it.

signs your husband doesn't love you anymore

From a very young age, women dream of living happily ever after with their perfect husbands. The ever classic movies about princes and princesses definitely feed the fantasy. We’re all programmed to want our Prince Charming to sweep us off our feet and carry us off into the sunset, so you’re not expecting to see signs your husband doesn’t love you anymore.

Even if a couple is happily married, they still may not be fairy tale blissful. [Read: 18 secrets to being happy in a marriage]

What does it mean when you see signs your husband doesn’t love you anymore?

If you’re feeling like your husband doesn’t love you anymore, try not to immediately jump to huge conclusions.

Your feelings aren’t facts. Your feelings don’t mean he’s no longer in love with you. They don’t mean that he’s cheating or fantasizing about being out of the relationship. They don’t mean that this is the end of your relationship.

It could mean a number of things. Maybe he’s been stressed and busy and is forgetting to give your relationship any attention. Maybe YOU’RE stressed and busy, and you aren’t able to see his efforts. Regardless, these feelings are about a disconnect and a lack of communication more than anything. [Read: Lack of communication and how to fix it]

You can’t really know what it means to see signs that your husband doesn’t love you anymore unless you talk to him and figure out if that’s what he’s trying to say.

Why people fall out of love

Thinking about falling out of love is heartbreaking, but it does happen. If you think it’s happening to you or your husband, you are not alone. People fall out of love every single day for a variety of reasons.

1. They stop communicating

Communication is hugely important in any relationship. But in a marriage, a relationship where you’re intention is to spend the rest of your life with someone, it’s even more vital. If you don’t talk to each other, it’s easy to fall out of love. [Read: 18 critical signs of an unhealthy relationship]

2. They take each other for granted

You take people for granted when you stop noticing and appreciating what they do. You’ve grown so used to the comforts and consistency that you forget to be thankful for them.

3. They have unrealistic expectations

Maybe your husband thought you’d keep your youthful body for the rest of your life. Maybe you thought you’d be constantly showered with affection and lavish gifts. Expectations almost always lead to disappointment. [Read: Unrealistic expectations that can ruin your love life]

4. They are bored

Getting bored in a marriage is insanely easy. Over time, you develop a very seasoned routine. Everything is clockwork. Predictable. Settled. Stale.

5. You think you’re incompatible

You never really know someone until you live with them long-term, and then you slowly find out how wildly incompatible you are. Maybe you had a long relationship prior to marriage and didn’t move in together until you tied the knot. Now you’re recognizing all of the small ways that you don’t really fit together. [Read: What does it mean to be compatible in a relationship?]

Possible signs your husband doesn’t love you anymore

First of all, you should not take these signs your husband doesn’t love you anymore as facts. There is more than one explanation for everything on this list, but these are things that COULD indicate that the feelings aren’t there anymore. You won’t know for certain unless you talk about it.

1. He forgets your birthday or anniversary

There are tons of men who forget special occasions. It’s almost a masculine hallmark. But if he used to remember every important date and is suddenly slipping, it might be a problem. A change in behavior like that is always alarming.

2. He blames you for all the problems

If he won’t take any responsibility for his actions or the overall state of the marriage, then this is a big issue. It’s not necessarily one of the signs your husband doesn’t love you anymore, but it’s not a good indication of the state of your relationship. [Read: 25 signs and traits of an unhappy relationship]

3. He doesn’t put any effort into your relationship

If you feel like you are doing all the work, you probably are. Either he doesn’t care anymore, didn’t care to begin with, or is just accustomed to you doing everything.

4. He never calls or stays connected to you

When you were first dating, communication was constant. When people are newly in love, it’s natural. But when people fall out of love, they don’t want or need to stay connected to the other person anymore.

5. He is cold and inattentive

Another one of the signs your husband doesn’t love you anymore is that he’s acting like a stranger. If he never has any time to talk to you and doesn’t treat you like his wife, that’s not a good sign. [Read: 16 questions to make talking about marriage really easy]

6. You suspect that he’s cheating

If he won’t let you look through his phone or emails or doesn’t come home when he says he will, it might be a problem. Sneaky behavior can easily lead you to believe that he’s cheating.

7. He’s not home very often

He makes every excuse to not spend time with you. He has to work late all the time or is always going out with the boys and is constantly coming up with reasons to do his own thing and stay away from home.

8. He no longer wants sex or shows affection

If nothing is happening in your bedroom besides sleeping, then this is a huge problem. Sex definitely isn’t the most important thing in a relationship, but it does hold some merit.

Even if he’s just not showing affection like he used to, such as holding your hand or sitting next to you on the couch, it could be one of the signs your husband doesn’t love you anymore. [Read: Identifying a lack of affection and knowing when to walk away]

9. He doesn’t miss you

Let’s say he comes home from work, and you’re not there despite the fact that you’re literally always there. He doesn’t call. He just doesn’t even notice or care.

Maybe you’re away on a long business trip, and when you come home, he doesn’t seem to be happy about it. This lack of missing you could be another one of the signs your husband doesn’t love you.

10. He is irritated when you try to talk to him about your relationship

Women usually like to talk about their relationship problems, but if a husband is still committed to making his marriage work, he will try his best to talk, too.

If your husband gets annoyed when you try to bring up working on your marriage, it might be a sign that he has emotionally checked out. [Read: How to talk about your feelings in a relationship & grow closer]

11. You get into constant fights and arguments

Every couple struggles and argues from time to time. But if you find that you’re basically only communicating when you’re arguing, you might be looking at one of the signs your husband doesn’t love you anymore.

12. He criticizes you

Not only does he have nothing nice to say to you, but he also nitpicks and criticizes absolutely everything. He doesn’t mention the dishes or laundry that you did when you got home from work, but he brings up that the trash wasn’t taken out.

13. You’ve become cautious around him

If you feel like you have to skirt around and kind of be careful, it might be one of the signs your husband doesn’t love you anymore. Whether you’re altering your behavior to avoid an argument or just to keep from annoying him, it’s not okay. [Read: How to stop being insecure in a relationship]

14. He hangs out with people you don’t know

He’s got a new group of friends that he doesn’t care to introduce you to, even though they’ve been occupying a lot of his time lately. He enjoys being around friends without the burden of his relationship on his back.

15. He doesn’t care about your opinion

It’s gut-wrenching to feel invalidated in this way. Not only does he not ask for your opinion about anything, but he also makes snide comments and hateful remarks when you choose to offer it up. [Read: 34 signs of disrespect and toxicity in a marriage]

16. He speaks negatively about your relationship with you or others

If you overhear him talking to his mom and he says something kind of off-putting or derogatory about you or your relationship, it’s one of the signs your husband doesn’t love you anymore. He might even say certain things directly to you.

17. He treats other people better than he treats you

He’s got a different personality around other people. When you have family over, he’s jovial and kind to them. He cracks jokes with the clerk at the grocery store. To you, he’s just cold.

18. He doesn’t tell you he loves you

It’s hard to be more obvious than this. If he’s completely stopped telling you that he loves you, you can safely say that you’re staring at one of the signs your husband doesn’t love you anymore. [Read: Emotional Abuse: What It Is & 39 Signs This Relationship is Breaking You]

19. He makes plans without you

You’re no longer considered when it comes to making plans. He’s not asking what you want to do for the weekend. He’s not even including you in the plans he does make. He just walks out the door on Friday night, saying that he’s going to play pool with some friends.

20. He’s not bothered if you flirt with another man

You providing attention to another man or another man giving you attention doesn’t concern him in the slightest. Does he even notice it? Maybe he used to get a little jokingly jealous and territorial, but this feels like he’s just pushing you toward someone else saying, “Take her.” [Read: Indirect signs of a loveless marriage & how It all begins]

What you can do about the signs your husband doesn’t love you anymore

It’s miserable it is to be in a relationship and think that the other person doesn’t love you anymore, but it’s important to not be discouraged. You don’t have to live like this forever. There are some things you can do if you see the signs your husband doesn’t love you anymore. [Read: Falling out of love – 23 signs and reasons that it happens]

1. Talk to him

It’s simple, but it’s amazing how many people don’t do this! It’s not a guarantee that it’s going to fix all your problems or that he’s going to fall madly in love with you again. You just have to talk about it because ignoring the problem only makes it worse. If you don’t talk to him, you won’t ever know for sure if you’re right.

2. See a therapist about the signs your husband doesn’t love you anymore

He may be resistant to this idea. If he is, it may be another one of the signs your husband doesn’t love you anymore. Try to convince him to go at least once. Maybe the therapist can define the problem more clearly. They can get to the root of the issues and provide you both with the tools to address them.

3. Take time for yourself

Don’t neglect yourself! Sometimes, when people are so worried that their significant other is falling out of love with them, they don’t take time for themselves.

Go out with the girls. Get massages. Read a good book. Get your mind off it, and love yourself enough to take care of yourself. [Read: How to take care of yourself as a woman – 19 ways to power yourself]

4. Decide to stay in or get out

Don’t stay in limbo forever. It’s sad and frustrating and only creates more unhappiness in the long term. While you two are trying to work things out, you need to be prepared if you eventually decide that it won’t work.

While getting out of a marriage is incredibly difficult, it could be a better decision in the long run. Only you can answer that question. [Read: 23 big questions to ask before you leave someone you love]

5. Identify what’s changed

See if you can pinpoint when you started to notice signs your husband doesn’t love you anymore. If you can identify the time, maybe you can remember other things that were happening and changing with either or both of you.

6. Make small changes together

If you can articulate your unhappiness, it means that you can work on undoing them. They don’t have to be monumental changes. Sometimes, small differences end up becoming monumental.

[Read: The top 20 reasons for divorce that most couples overlook]

If you see some of the signs your husband doesn’t love you anymore, don’t panic before you try these tips. This is a scary time, but remember that you are not alone.

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Carol Morgan LP
Dr. Carol Morgan
Dr. Carol Morgan has a Ph.D. in communication and is a professor at Wright State University where she loves corrupting young minds. As a relationship and succes...