Learning how to lose feelings for someone is hard. Not because the steps are hard, but because of the annoyingly painful rewiring of your mind, the conscious effort you have to take to make sure you forget them. But then again, sometimes, it’s inevitable. You have to learn to lose feelings for them, and there’s no other way forward.
You may have liked someone forever, and when you finally mustered the courage to share your feelings, they may have turned you down. Or perhaps, you never got brought yourself up to confess your feelings, and gave up because you just didn’t think it would work out. If that’s the situation, use this guide on how to tell someone you like them and win them over effortlessly in case you want to give it a second chance.
But if it’s anything else, or you know in your heart that you need to move on, we’ll show you how to lose feelings for someone in the healthiest way possible.
It’s possible. Is it easy? Well, that’s a different question.
It’s hard trying to get over someone and move on. No one actually wants to move on from someone they love. Instead, they just want the other person to have some epiphany and realize that they were wrong the entire time. Right? I mean, that’s why we stick around people we like, even if we know they don’t like us. But it doesn’t have to be like that.
[Read: How to let go of someone you love without the bitterness]
How to lose feelings for someone and let go of them
There were so many times where I fell for someone who didn’t like me. Okay, in their defense, half the time they didn’t know that I liked them, but let’s not focus on that part. They survived either way if they knew or didn’t know I liked them. The real person who suffered was me. No, no, this isn’t some pity party for me, but I’m just telling you how it is.
When you’re the one with the feelings for someone, you’re the one who experiences the heartbreak. It’s hard to learn how to lose feelings for someone, but possible. You gotta try, right?
#1 It’s going to take time. Yeah, I know you want your emotions to just fly past you and forget this entire thing ever happened. It won’t happen that quickly. Sure, one day you’ll lose feelings for them, but it’s going to take time. This is something you can’t rush, allow yourself time and space to process. [Read: 13 essentials you must remember if you want to forget someone really fast]
#2 Feel your emotions. You need to feel your emotions. Most people hate the feeling of loss, so instead, they drink or rebound with a bunch of different people. But it doesn’t help. Because they’re not dealing with their feelings but rather just burying it down. If you want to truly get over someone, you need to grieve. [Read: 15 very effective rules to forget someone you really care for]
#3 Talk to them about your feelings. If you’re comfortable to talk to them about this, then you should. They need to know how you feel and why you’re pulling back. If you just pull back without them understanding why, then they’ll probably be confused and hurt. Be open and honest with them because nothing bad can come out of it. If you can talk to them, you should.
#4 Don’t spend time with them. Stop hanging out with them. If they’re your friend, then you’re going to need to stop being around them. I know, it’s a hard thing to do, but you need to take a break from their company until you feel that you’ve moved on. Until then, it’s only going to be torture to see their faces every day. Remember, you need to do this for you. [Read: How to get over someone you see everyday without losing your mind]
#5 Focus on other friends and family. Focus on the people that love you. This means you should spend more time with friends and family who’ll support you through this time. Whenever you’re feeling vulnerable or emotional, hang out with your friends and family. They’ll keep you on track and focused on why you’re doing this.
#6 Fight the urges. You’re going to want to text them and see what’s up or like their photos on Facebook. Resist the urge! If you want to lose feelings for someone, why would you invest your time talking to them when they don’t like you in the way you want them to? You need to fight all the urges when it comes to talking to them. Don’t say hi, don’t call them, don’t like their photos on social media, don’t do anything. [Read: How to get over someone you love and not give a damn anymore!]
#7 Stop all contact with them. You’re going to have to do this. I know it’s going to be really hard, but it’s the only way to get over them. You need to stop contacting them.
This means you need to delete them from all social media and do not do anything that’ll get their attention. Liking their photos or texting them will not help you get over them. [Read: How long does it take to get over someone? The magic number]
#8 Use your spare time in positive ways. You now have much more spare time for yourself. Don’t waste it by sitting in front of your phone staring at photos of them or sitting on the couch helplessly binge-watching Netflix. Instead, use this time for yourself. Do things that you always wanted to do or hobbies that you enjoy. Just use this time to focus on you.
#9 Don’t rebound. I know you’ll want to jump into another relationship right away to forget about them, but it’s not going to work. Okay, it’ll make you feel better at that moment, but the minute you’re alone with your thoughts, your feelings will come rushing back to you. Give yourself a little time before getting involved with someone else. [Read: 13 rebound sex questions to know if you’re ready for it]
#10 Get away. Maybe this person is your neighbor or you work with them. If that’s the case, then why not get away for a little bit? Go on vacation somewhere, anywhere. This will help you take your mind off of them at least for a little bit. If they’re constantly around you, remove them from your visibility. [Read: How to rediscover yourself again after a low point in life]
#11 Again, give it time. Listen, I can tell you to rush and meet someone else the next day but it’s not going to work. You’re going to have this feeling that this new person isn’t like the one you lost, and the void won’t close. Instead, what you need to do is give yourself all the time in the world to recover. You need time!
[Read: How to deal with the pain of loving someone you can’t have]
No one said it was going to be easy but that doesn’t mean it’s not possible. Now that you know how to lose feelings for someone, you’re going to need to work on it.
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