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33 Steps to Stop Thinking About Someone You Like But Can’t Have

Sometimes, a crush fails and you have no choice but to learn how to stop thinking about someone. Use these ways and you’ll find your way out in no time.

how to stop thinking about someone

Want to know how to stop thinking about someone you like and miss? It’s a sad reality, but sometimes, the one we like may not like us back. And there’s nothing we can do about it.

Of course, you can learn your lessons and try to create a better and more improved version out of yourself. Do that, and maybe, you could even find yourself someone who’s much better than your current crush.

But as good as this thought may feel in future, it doesn’t help right now. All you want right now is to stop thinking about someone you like, because as much as you try, they’re on your mind 24/7.

[Read: How to get someone off your mind – The 3 stages and 3 steps you must master]

Why are you obsessed with this person?

It’s hard being ignored by someone you think you’re in love with. And it’s painfully hard to force yourself to stop thinking of someone when you know it just can’t work out.

Firstly, it’s hard to stop thinking about someone because your mind is used to obsessing over them. What started off as a harmless crush has now turned into an obsession. Earlier, you would think of them and wonder how it would be to date them.

And now, you’re forcing yourself to stop thinking of them. So not only is your mind not “allowed” to think of them, but you’re also realizing that all those dreams and fantasies of yours… they’re never going to come true! It’s a double blow however you see it. 

Ask yourself why you’re not willing to let go, even when you’re convinced there’s no way to date them or get them to love you back.

On the other hand, if you do think there’s still a chance, or you haven’t approached them yet, try these 18 risk-free and successful ways to tell someone you like them without actually ever revealing your feelings for them. 

Why is it so hard to stop thinking about someone you like?

Your mind doesn’t want to accept that it’s over. It’s easier to live in denial and continue fantasizing about them. Sometimes, even obsessing over a heartbreak can feel oddly satisfying. You’re inflicting pain upon yourself, and that feels pleasurable!

I’ve been in many happy relationships myself and a few of them did end in a bad way where I was left in the lurch. Sometimes, I’ve had a crush that didn’t work out. And I’ve been madly in love with someone who I know will never love me back for silly reasons.

At the end of it all, through my turmoil and pain, I learnt a few things that helped me stop thinking about someone you like, especially when they don’t like you back. [Read: 15 powerful rules to forget someone you once cared for]

How to stop thinking about someone you like

You may have your own reasons to stop thinking of someone.

While the reasons to stop missing someone may be plenty, the ways are all similar.

Here are the most powerful, and yet, easiest ways you can use to stop missing someone and realize where you’re going wrong at the same time. Try all of them, one at a time, and you’ll start to find yourself again, in no time.

1. Make up your mind

What do you really want to do? Do you want to pretend like they don’t exist, or do you just want to stop obsessing over them? Sometimes, clarity is all you need to progress and face reality. Whatever it is you want, be very clear. And honest. 

2. Stop idealizing the situation

Yes, you loved someone. And you felt like they were perfect in every way. Maybe you were even convinced the two of you would end up together and have lots of sex or babies.

But now, when you look back, you can see that there are so many things about them and you that could be incompatible. Instead of living in a fantasy, try to think realistically instead.

3. Look for closure

Don’t ignore the rejection or avoid thinking about the person. Suppressing it will only make you feel worse. Instead, accept the fact that the rejection happened. Spend a day or two brooding over it by yourself and once you feel saturated by thoughts, let go and move on.

If you want to know how to stop thinking about someone you like, you need closure. But you don’t have to speak to them for closure. The best way to get closure is by thinking things through, in your own head. [Read: Why you should never go looking for closure from someone who hurt you]

4. Don’t feign memory loss

Don’t pretend like you don’t miss that person. Don’t pretend like you’re not hurt. And don’t try to forget that this person existed.

Instead, just focus on ways to avoid getting affected by it. Confront the thought, accept your heartbreak, and process it in your head. [Read: How to respond to a rejection and do the right thing even if it hurts]

5. Don’t talk to them for a while

If possible, cut all contact with them. This is time for you to heal. And if you’re talking to them or following them on social media, you’re only going to feel worse.

Think of this phase as a healing wound. You know it will heal, you only need to give it time. But if you pick at it, the wound only gets worse. But after a certain amount of time, your skin feels as good as new.

It’s the same with learning how to stop thinking about someone. It’s about preventing that part of your aching heart from getting hurt or scarred forever while it’s healing. [Read: Why the no contact rule is the best way to get over rejection]

6. Find someone else to think about

If you want to stop thinking about someone, the easiest and perfect way is to find someone or something else to think about. Create a distraction and start obsessing about someone else. It’ll work wonders.

It could be a celebrity or some social media influencer, it really doesn’t matter who. Just focus on getting yourself a harmless crush to bring even the smallest bit of excitement into your life again. 

7. Don’t try to bump into them

It’s easy to fantasize about circumstances and happy reunions. Instead, give up on plotting ways to run into them, and accept the fact that you are looking for ways to stop thinking of them instead. [Reads: 14 things to keep in mind when you bump into your ex]

8. Think of their negative traits

If you’re smitten by someone, it’s time to knock them off your pedestal of awesomeness. Think about it, this person wasn’t as perfect as you imagined them to be. If you want to avoid falling in love with them, remember all their flaws and heighten them.

9. Don’t slip into misery

It’s easy to stare at a blank wall, and enjoy the feeling of misery, or force yourself to suffer from low self esteem, especially when you feel like someone’s walked all over you. Instead, laugh at yourself if you must, feel silly about the whole thing, and try to find humor is all the little things. 

Watch funny youtube videos, memes or a comedy to remind yourself of how it feels to laugh. [Read: 20 powerful ways to draw happiness from within and feel happy again]

10. Don’t stay idle

An idle mind is a devil’s workshop. Heard that one before, haven’t you? In this case, it’ll be the workshop of the one you’re thinking about. You do know it’s stupid to give this person any more space and time on your mind. So keep yourself occupied that’ll help you avoid thinking of this person.

11. Don’t stalk them, online or offline

Social networks have made it so much easier to stalk exes and crushes. While it may seem like a gift, it’s still a curse. You’ll never move on unless you keep all news of this person away. [Read: The 8 most common post-breakup mistakes you should never ever make]

12. Respect yourself

This “special someone” walked all over you by treating you like dirt. They don’t respect you nor do they care about you.

Do you think you respect yourself enough? If you do, why would you humiliate yourself any further by obsessing about someone who clearly doesn’t deserve any more of your time or love?

13. Learn a new activity

Learn or do something that’s always excited you, be it a new workout routine or joining a dance class. It’ll fill your mind with fresh, happy thoughts that’ll eventually wipe away all traces of the person you’re trying to get over.

14. Spend time with friends

Now is a great time to rely on your friends and support system to give you the strength and positivity you so badly need. Hang out with your friends doing things you enjoy, and you’ll realize that life isn’t all that bad, after all!

15. Don’t criticize yourself

Don’t hate yourself or think you’re unworthy just because someone doesn’t like you back anymore. Sometimes, there could be other reasons at play you probably have no idea about. That, and some people are just selfish or they just suck. [Read: How to stop hating yourself and learn to love all of yourself]

16. Watch the right kind of shows

Avoid romantic movies, songs and shows. It’ll just stir up all those locked emotions and turn you into a sadist who loves torturing yourself.

Watch fun movies or for something even better, watch wild and naughty movies involving lots of friends or single people. [Read: How to be happy being single and explore the freedom of singledom]

17. Visit new places or go on a vacation

Sometimes, all you need is a fabulous vacation with friends to clear your mind and focus on new things. You’ll come back feeling a lot better. [Read: Do you think you’re jealous of your ex?]

18. Accept the fact that they’ve moved on

If you want to know how to stop thinking about someone, remind yourself that they’ve moved on and forgotten all about you. You know what, this person doesn’t even care about you anymore! They’re probably thinking of someone else right now.

Disgusts you, doesn’t it? Well, accept the fact and let that give you the strength. [Read: What are the signs your ex has moved on? 15 signs to know for sure]

19. Don’t talk about that person with your friends

If you want to stop thinking about someone, talk about them for a day, or two. But just because your friends are being patient with you and listening to you repeat the same story over and over again, doesn’t mean you should continue talking about this person.

It feels sickly satisfying to talk about them and try to decode why they behaved how they did. But how is that going to help you anymore? It’s over, and now it’s time to get over it, not obsess even more.

20. Pretend you’re having fun

At first, this will be hard. But try to have fun, pretend if you must. And you will have fun. Like they say, if you force yourself to smile, your mind will create the same feel-good chemicals to mimic actual happiness.

Don’t let your chin hit the floor. As screwed up as your life may seem right now, all it takes is your initiate to move on and feel happy again. Go out, meet people, pretend like you’re having fun and you’ll start having fun without realizing it. [Read: How to be more playful and flirty & open up when you meet someone]

21. Get yourself a rebound interest

Were you dating this person? Did you have a crush? Or was it just a friend? Your ex relationship status doesn’t matter anymore. All that matters is you finding a way to replace them in your life.

We feel bad because of the sudden emptiness that’s in our hearts. Fill that up with some flirting and you’ll feel no pain at all! [Read: Ways in which a rebound relationship can be good for you]

22. Clingy and powerful opposites

Don’t let this person know you’re hurting. Remember this, the clingy person who’s having a hard time moving on when it’s over is the weaker one. And the more weaker and clingier you behave, the more easy you’ll make it for the other person to get over you.

Do you really want to make it that easy for them to stop liking you, and hate you instead? Do you want them to roll their eyes or look at you with disgust every time you appear in front of them with your sad, puffy, red eyes? [Read: How to get over a broken heart – Seriously, the only guide you need]

23. Remove any memories of them

Are you saving any dried up flowers they had given you? Do you have a memento from your date with them? Or if it’s just a crush, do you have a note they gave you or maybe some personal item of theirs?

It’s time to throw it away or get it out if your sight. They don’t think of you. Why should you think of them? And why should you be the one who’s sad and miserable?

24. Meditate

No, we’re not talking about becoming more spiritual. But meditate. It’ll help you more than you think. Try to feel nothing at all when you close your eyes. Want to know a visualization technique specific to getting over someone, using an empty box in your mind? Try this mediation technique given here, and we assure you, you’ll feel a lot better and more confident in a week’s time.

25. Work on your flaws

As we’ve said earlier, this is not about becoming self-critical. But it’s about learning lessons to chisel out a better version of yourself.

Do you think there are any lessons to be learned from this failed romance? Did you rush too soon into expressing your undying love for them? Do you think you can improve yourself and become a better version? Or did you make the mistake of liking someone who’s already in a relationship? Or did you break up with them, and now you can’t stop thinking of them?

Whatever your reasons, there are always lessons for your future self to be learned. Mistakes that can be corrected in future. And ways you can make yourself better.

Focus on where you think you went wrong, and learn your lessons. Learning the right lessons will ALWAYS help you in future. [Read: 17 very valuable lessons you can learn every single time you fail in love and become better]

26. Find yourself

You’re so obsessed with this special someone that you probably stopped doing what you love. Maybe you’re not working hard enough, or working out, or enjoying your hobbies. Perhaps, it’s time to let them go and find yourself now.

Focus on you, your happiness and the steps you need to take to love yourself. [Read: How to focus on yourself – 27 ways to create your own sunshine]

27. Don’t hope for a second chance

Sometimes, when you’re trying to forget someone, and succeeding, the very person you’re trying to forget may come back into your life. It’s one of the annoying traits of being human – we LOVE attention!

They now miss your attention *even if they have no intention of dating you* and they pretend to care about you. This is when you need to be firm and resolute. If you’re still aching for a second chance, talk about it. But chances are, they won’t want you, they only want your attention.

28. Give it time

This is the hardest part of learning how to stop thinking about someone. Of course, at first, you’ll think of them all the time. But that doesn’t mean you’re failing. Give it time. Work on the steps we’ve mentioned here. Over a couple of weeks, you’ll realize you’re in a much better place.

It’s been said that it takes about four months to completely get over a crush. Of course, if it’s love or the end of a “perfect” relationship, it would take way longer. But you can do this, with one little baby step at a time.

29. Forgive them for hurting you

Do this, not to let them off the hook if they hurt you. But do this for yourself. As Buddha once said, holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. They’ve moved on, but you’re the one holding resentment and anger. This is not helping you, nor is it making their life worse. So why hold on to it?

Let it go, forgive them for hurting you, and you’ll start to feel better yourself.

30. Get professional help

Sometimes, as hard as you try yourself, you may find yourself hitting a roadblock when it comes to understanding how to stop thinking about someone. If you believe this person’s thoughts are interfering with your daily life, and affecting you in more ways than you can handle, it’s time to seek professional help. 

You may think you don’t need help, but what have you got to lose? An hour of your time to test the waters? Give it a try, who knows, it may help you in more ways than you can imagine!

31. Manifest a better future

This IS a better future for you. All you need to do is believe it. Once you’ve worked through the mistakes you’ve made or learned the lessons you needed to learn, it’s time to visualize a better future. Just look into a mirror, or sit down in a quiet room, and repeat the words – “I am over this person, I am happier today, and my life will get better everyday”.

If you can imagine it, you have the power to make it come true. [Read: How to manifest love and create your own best love life]

32. Create long term life goals

This is the best time to work on something new. You’re angry and hurt, and you need a new interest to channel all this energy into something positive, meaningful and long term. Spend a couple of days thinking of a new life goal you’d like to take on.

Pick a goal that would take several months to complete, and every time you think of this person you want to stop thinking about, focus on your life goals. It’s the perfect distraction, and a great way to feel like an achiever. [Read: How to be perfect in everything you do and lead a fulfilling life]

33. Remember that it will all pass

There is no short term plan or a silver bullet when it comes to learning how to stop thinking about someone you still like. If you want to get over them, you need to take an initiative and have patience. You may not stop liking them today or tomorrow, but it’ll happen sooner than you know. All it needs is your strength and patience. And of course, positive distractions!

[Read: The difference between the male and female mind when trying to get over a person]

Remember these steps on how to stop thinking about someone you like, and it’ll help you in a big way. This person doesn’t care about you anymore. So leave them behind. Focus on a better you, because you have what it takes to have it all and live your best life. You just need to believe.

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Sophia-Strutt
Sophia Strutt
Sophia Strutt loves staring into the mirror, not because she’s a narcissist but because the mirror is the one thing she can rely on to smile back at her, even...
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