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10 Signs You’re Lovesick and 10 Ways to Get Out of It!

signs of lovesickness

Lovesickness is a very real thing, and can even be fatal. Find out if you’re lovesick using these 10 signs and get out of it before it’s too late!

Have you ever been in love with someone who does not love you back?

You can call it limerence, unrequited love or a one sided love story, and in all probability, you’d be right.

[Read: Signs you’re experiencing limerence and not just a little crush]

But sometimes, as simple as a failed or a secret romance may seem, it could be devastating for the person experiencing it.

What is lovesickness?

Lovesickness is the feeling of helplessness and hopelessness that we associate with a failed experience in love.

Almost all of us may have experienced it in various forms over the years.

But for some people, it’s extremely hard to bounce back from lovesickness.

They carry the thoughts of a person in their mind for several years, and at times, even several decades.

[Read: Are you still in love with someone who may have forgotten you?]

Have you ever had a crush on someone years ago? Do you still fondly remember them even today?

Do you find yourself lost in thoughts about this crush of yours during a few lonely moments where you constantly ponder over the proverbial “what if…”?

That’s just a small taste of lovesickness you may experience now and then.

But for many people, this is something they experience tirelessly. The thoughts of a failed relationship or a crush weigh their minds all the time, and it distracts them from everything else in their life. [Read: 10 signs your past relationship or a crush is holding you back from enjoying a new relationship]

The hopelessness of loving someone who doesn’t love you back

If you can’t stop thinking about a particular romantic interest of yours, and you find yourself lost in their thoughts all the time, however hard you try to push the thoughts away, chances are, you’re suffering from lovesickness.

Lovesickness is a hopeless feeling. It isolates you from everyone else, and no matter how hard you try, you can’t find a way to get over it. After all, all you want is a special someone, and this someone is a person you can’t have for one reason or another. [Read: The real reason why you aren’t able to find happy love in your life]

With each passing day that you feel lovesick, you’d feel more stressed and more reckless, more annoyed by their ignorance and more elated each time they give you any attention. And before you know it, you’re a confused mess who’s suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder, depression and a feeling of dark hopelessness.

Why do some people feel lovesick while others don’t?

Uncertainty is the biggest motivator of lovesickness. And that’s as simple as the answer gets!

If you fall in love with someone and ask them out, and they reject you outright in the very first conversation you have with them, you may feel lovesick for a few hours or a few days, but you’ll get over it very soon.

But if you fall in love with someone, hide your feelings for them or get mixed signals back in return from them, that’s when you’d start to experience a bigger and more serious form of lovesickness. [Read: How to read mixed signals and turn it into love]

Unrequited love, mixed signals and limerence makes lovesickness a big threat to your happiness and your lifestyle.

Lovesickness gets worse if your love interest rejects you for several weeks or months, and then tries to win your attention back again just as you try to get over them. This is something you’re bound to experience when you’re in love with a selfish person who only cares about themselves. [Read: 15 signs she’s just leading you on and taking you nowhere]

Selfish people reject you when you woo them or try to get closer to them, and just as you give up and walk away, they’ll start giving you mixed signals again and try to get you to fall back in love with them. [Read: 10 signs to recognize a selfish person and 5 ways to get away from them!]

Lovesickness could seem trivial to a person who doesn’t understand what the lovesick person is going through. But at a certain point, lovesickness could even lead a person to commit suicide. The helplessness a lovesick person feels could convince them that their life is meaningless without the affection of a special someone. They’d feel lost and confused, and with the mixed signals they receive, they’d find it easier to just end their lives instead of enduring the pain and constant emotional turmoil of a confused love affair.

10 signs of lovesickness to watch out for

There’s a thin line between heartbreak and lovesickness. Take a look at these signs to find out if you’re lovesick, or on the verge of experiencing lovesickness. And if you do see these traits in yourself, speak with a friend and try to pull yourself out of the pit you’re digging for yourself. [Read: Why does love hurt so much when it goes bad?]

#1 Mood swings. You almost always feel depressed or hopeless, and believe you have no reason to live if you can’t have this person’s affection.

#2 Isolation. You love isolating yourself from the rest of the world. Nothing interests you anymore, and all of a sudden, you start to feel like none of your friends understand you or what you’re going through.

#3 You’re tired all the time. The mental stress you endure constantly tires you easily, and you don’t have energy to do anything you want to do.

#4 Appetite. Even looking at food makes you queasy. You suffer from loss of appetite and weight loss.

#5 Distractions. You’re always distracted, and nothing you do ever feels like it’s to the best of your abilities.

#6 Obsessive compulsive disorder. You find yourself constantly checking your email, facebook page, or your cell phone to see if you’ve received a new message from this person. You may know you aren’t going to get a message, but compulsively checking them becomes a part of your lifestyle. [Read: What is unrequited love and ways to get over it completely]

#7 Hoarding. You treasure this person’s memories and hold on to little things of no significance or value like a movie ticket or a strand of hair. You just can’t bear the thought of losing it or throwing it away because it means so much to you.

#8 You overanalyze. You spend several hours analyzing the things this person says or the particular words they use, and try to see things from different perspectives even if it’s something as trivial as a wave or a hello.

#9 Tearful. You feel like crying for no reason at all. You feel depressed for the smallest of things and you’re oversensitive about everything in your life.

#10 Insomnia. You have difficulty sleeping. Every time you lie down, your mind is filled with thoughts of your crush or your ex. You spend several hours tossing and turning in bed even if you try hard to just fall asleep. [Read: 20 reasons why a guy may never ever like you back]

10 ways to stop feeling lovesick and move on with your life

Lovesickness hurts, and there is no escaping it until you make up your mind to move on with your life, or confront the issue. Here are 10 things you can do to stop feeling lovesick and start controlling your life again.

#1 Ask them out. Wear your heart on your sleeve and ask this person out. What’s the worst that could happen? They could decline you. It’s okay to fail at something. What’s worse is not trying! [Read: How to tell a girl you love her without losing her]

#2 Hate them. Do you even realize what this person is doing to your life? Your life is spiraling out of control and you’re messing up in every part of your life only because this person is toying with your feelings. [Read: The best way to get over someone you love is by hating them]

#3 What makes them ugly? Look for their flaws and try to remember it all the time, be it their facial expressions, their low IQ, or their lack of etiquette. And compare them mentally to other good looking people you see on the street. Once you realize that this person isn’t as awesome as you once thought they were, you’d be able to take them off the pedestal you’ve built for them.

#4 Keep your mind occupied. What do you enjoy doing in your free time? Is it shopping? Is it playing games? Indulge in something that excites you and makes you feel good about yourself. [Read: How to get over a crush easily and have fun doing it!]

#5 Get social. You may have been avoiding your friends for a long time, but it’s time you get out and have fun with them. Party, have fun and realize that you can still have a great life even if this person isn’t in it!

#6 Burn those memories. Do you have any photos or memorabilia of this person? Burn it, burn all of it. You’ll feel liberated in no time!

#7 Rationalize, but don’t obsess. It’s okay to think of this person now and then. Shutting them off completely may make the addiction worse. But each time you spend a few minutes thinking of this person, avoid drifting away into fantasyland. Reminisce, rationalize and move on within a few minutes. [Read: 12 reasons why the no contact rule always works!]

#8 Spend time outside. Nature is wonderful and full of beauty. Spend a while outside in a park or a garden. Stare blankly at the green leaves and the flowers and admire them for their beauty. Isn’t it frustrating that you’re letting this one person darken your heart when there’s so much beauty in the world?

#9 Flirt with someone else. They say that the easiest way to get over someone is by getting under someone else. If you don’t feel like dating someone just yet, at least try to find someone who catches your fancy and flirt with them. It’ll keep you distracted and help you regain the confidence you’ve lost. [Read: 20 things you can do to stop thinking about someone you still love]

#10 Accept that it’ll take time. Wounds don’t heal overnight, and your lovesickness won’t go away too soon either. Accept the fact that it’ll take time, but try to avoid thinking of this person, and avoid all triggers that reminds you of this person. It may take a few weeks or a few months, but the memories will fade away soon as long as you focus on having fun in your life.

[Read: 10 types of love you’ll experience in your lifetime]

If you’re lovesick, change your state of mind using these tips. You may believe that lovesickness isn’t such a big deal, but as the months and years pass by you, you’ll only wish you would have tried harder to get over this person and reclaim your life sooner!

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Elizabeth Arthur
Elizabeth Arthur
A mom of two who’s currently working on a novel, Elizabeth Arthur lives in Cornwall. And when she’s not chasing her boys around the house, she enjoys sittin...
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23 thoughts on “10 Signs You’re Lovesick and 10 Ways to Get Out of It!”

  1. Brittany says:

    Yep. I’m love sick. lol All these signs apply to me. Especially the OCD, the mood swings and overanalyzing.

    It’s kind of ironic too because I’m the one that broke up with him. I guess my heart still can’t accept what my mind already knows- we’re not right for each other. Every time we get back together, we end up breaking up again because I’m reminded of this.

  2. Wayne says:

    Love SICK to the Max

    Always having problems faling asleep, always be my self, always have constant thoughts about her, always get super excited when she said hy or flirts with me, Most def with OCD cant go with out checking my phone of FB

    Now ive tried all the ways to get over her besides confessing, But cant do that either without feeling my whole worlds gonna come to an end if I do, but its gonna come to an end regardless when she leaves. Every day thinking and night thinking about her don’t what to do and going crazy cause of it.

    Guess that’s what its like to be hook on a drug

  3. balencigaga says:

    its hard when the person is still in your life and is so lovely to you..you cant hate them.

  4. Really hurting says:

    Balencigaga, not sure which is worse? having that person who is still in your life being so nice or having them not be so nice. I’m on the other end, the person isn’t into me anymore, yet still is around a bit and it’s really hard to be around them…I hurt all the time and even though I know he isn’t ‘into’ me anymore my heart feels he is and I’m having trouble letting go.

  5. ... says:

    Lovesickness feels like dying, it’s the most painful feeling I’ve ever experienced in my life.

  6. Chris says:

    Love sick sucks but to be 15 and in love with the same girl for 5 years and have her love u back but know u cant be together sucks even more especially when she knows she’s horrible and constantly breaks ur heart

  7. WhiteInaba says:

    Hi. I just have to let it out here. I’ve been single all these times while other close friends have been going through relationships and some lucky ones even found their soul mates. Every time I go outside, all I see is lovey-dovey couples every where. Makes me even more depressed to step outside. Even when my best buds keep me company, they are only there physically. I tried to understand their situation and not be so selfish.

    Lately, some of my best buds tried to fix me up with their friend. As not to waste their effort, I tried my best to start a relationship. A year, has passed, nothing happened. I’ve seen the sensitive side of this person, giving moral support all the way, cheering him up when he is down. Then, I got to know that he is observing another girl, with the intention of starting a relationship with her. Then I realized that I’d unknowingly fell for him. I was forced to put on a smiling face and give him a push. I keep telling myself that nothing ever happen in the first place. There was no special feelings in the first place. All these happening in front of me. I try to forget everything I felt about him but there is a glitter of hope that he will one day confess to me. Hate to admit it, but it’s eating me from within. Love sick? Foolish? Desperate? I won’t deny but I hope to be stronger and a better person.

  8. Data Becker says:

    This article made me smile more than it shouldve, thank you.
    Key was how you phrased “and believe you have no reason to live if you can

  9. Anastasiya says:

    I have been loving a guy for a year and a half now and he told me he has a girlfriend and yeah i understood..hespopular, hot, and duh he would hav a gf. Sooowe just walked away our own paths……but lately ive been feeling some attraction to him… Lovesickness and that feeling when u wanna go cry in ur pillow and die…. Help me!! What should i do?!?! Why duznt nobody like me? Why have i been single ALL my life?? Why? Whats wrong with me?? Am i too fat? Or not popular enough?!?! Whats wrong with me?!?! Why am i a loner?!!!?!? ???? {:'[

  10. Why says:

    This is a good article, thanks! I cannot get over my ex no matter what I do. We were together for 10 years (I’m 28) and every semi-recent memory I have was with him. Everything reminds me of him and I end up crying every day. It’s been a year and a half since the break up and I still love him as much as I always have. Hoping I’ll get over him and the tremendous loss I’m feeling at some point. Haven’t had any luck dating, because it makes me sick and all I want is my ex. So hopeless. I wish he still loved me like I love him.

  11. Freiheit says:

    I have this Macedonian foreign exchange student in my high school German class, her name is Masha. I think that I kind of love her. I feel stupid saying that to be honest. I feel as though I am much too young to be dating however I feel oddly compelled to ask her out. Everything about her is perfect to me. When I look at her I feel sick. I haven’t gotten any more than 4 hours of sleep every night. And the worst part is that she leaves the high school for Macedonia in December. I’ve always been particularly shy, especially when it comes to the opposite gender, and I have so many doubts about asking her out. But I know for a fact that if I don’t ask her out then the proverbial “what if” will haunt me for years to come. I don’t know her culture so I’m not entirely sure if it is socially acceptable to just ask a girl out. I don’t know if she has a boyfriend (it wouldn’t surprise me if she did she is gorgeous and smart and very mature compared to the other girls her age). I am extremely afraid that she will take it the wrong way and believe that I want to have sex with her (I don’t). The feeling of hopelessness is indescribable. Please help me. I have no idea what to do and I feel physically sick all the time thinking about her. I feel like I need mental help to be entirely honest. That’s how bad my obsession over this girl is. I have never talked to a girl who wasn’t directly related to me unless I was forced on a project or something and I dreaded every second of it. I keep telling myself that she will have to leave in December and even if we did get together it would be utterly pointless for us to ever get together. But my heart is a lovesick idiot and seems to think that I could somehow gain something from this relationship. Should I just continue to ignore or should I ask her out? Please help. Thank you if you do help me.

  12. Karlie says:

    I have tried my hardest to get this guy to love me and I’m exhausted by having everything on my shoulders… Now he says he’s looking up old girl friends because I fight with him too much.. Yeah, I do fight with him. I fight with him to take care of what we have and to protect it.. Yeah, I;m always the bad guy here… My heart breaks… I can’t go on..

  13. Confused says:

    When I was volunteering as a teacher in a foreign country, I met this Japanese girl who was learning English. We met at a night club and she must have thought I was so cool because two hours after I left she text me saying that she really wanted to see me again. Two days later we went on a date and it went great, I dropped her off at where she was staying and we kissed goodbye. I knew she was crazy about me. I only had a month left at my placement and she had two months left before she graduated. She told me she was planning to come to my country to work for five months, but in a different state, and she said that she wanted to visit me while she was there. For the rest of my placement I pretty much talked to her on Facebook every night and we saw each other about three times a week. She then told me that she really wanted to be my girlfriend. During my last week we decided to go to a resort together on the weekend where we had an amazing time together and she decided that she wanted to work in my state when she left for my country. When I left she was at the airport with me and we hugged goodbye and we were eager to meet each other again in a month’s time. During this month we still talked a lot on Facebook and we tried to figure out a place for her to stay as she was really worried about this. At this time I had just moved into an apartment with one of my friends and I still hadn’t figured out where she could stay. She then asked me if she could stay with me which I wasn’t too sure about because I didn’t know how this would affect our relationship. I asked my roommate and he said it was fine so I told her that she could. I was really excited about seeing her again and being able to live with her for her short time in my country. The first three days were really good and she found a job really quick but then I noticed that she became distant from me, she would barely talk to me and if we went for a walk she would walk ten meters behind me. Whenever I asked her if there was a problem she would just say that she doesn’t like to talk too much and that she needed space. So for the next week I didn’t really spend any time with her but it was still the same. I was getting sick of it and I asked her if she still liked me and so she told me that she didn’t see me as her boyfriend anymore, that I was too weak and she only likes strong people. The worst part was that she wasn’t planning on telling me that this was how she felt, I suppose she just expected me to know. I asked if she liked me as a friend and she said that of course she did. That was four days ago and now it’s just gotten worse, she completely ignores me and just gets irritated with me if I try to talk to her. I know I have no hope in getting back with her but I just want to be her friend. I feel like I’m not good enough to be her boyfriend or her friend. I can’t stop thinking about her, I get about four hours sleep and I feel like my relationship with her is just going to get worse. I can’t get over her because we live in the same house. What makes it worse is that we sleep in the same room. I really need help with this. This is going to be a long five months.

  14. Phil says:

    Listen to the Smiths: How Soon Is Now?

    This song pulls me out of love sickness.
    It’s rough when you’re in your teens.
    It gets easier as you get older. (not really)
    I am in my late 40’s and still get love sickness.
    Rejection is hard to take.

    Music can help.
    Good luck

    The Buzzcocks – Ever Fallen In Love (With Someone You Shouldn’t’ve)

  15. She's The One Always says:

    I knew a girl since I was 5 she was my first love and the longest friendship I had with anyone we lived together and played every day as neighbours for 6yrs… and my childhood is made up with her memories!! She left to somewhere else as her house shifted when i was 11… I’m 18 now and my love for her is still there… I will find her someday and tell that to her… I wasn’t even able to tell her that I love her before she left!! LOVE YOU LADY!! I ALWAYS WILL!! THIS TOPIC DESCRIBES ME EVERYDAY SINCE THEN!!

  16. Reven says:

    i cut him off completely because i thought hes stressing me too much and he shouldnt be bec hes not worth it. and now im so lovesick i dont know what to do with myself. tell me what to do to get this feeling off me

  17. Lily says:

    I am lovesick but had to keep distance from him because both of us are married. We spent several evenings together but nothing crossed the line. He does not have any children but seems care about his wife a lot and I can tell his wife loves him too. I finally decided to pulled away and we have not spent any time alone ever since. It’s been two months by now, I have never stopped thinking about him. He probably is lovesick too as we both lost a lots weight recently, both of us were very fit to begin with so neither of us needed to lose weight. My heart aches for him. I have tried everything but still can’t get over with him. I wonder everyday if I should just call him and tell him how I feel about him…

  18. Marc says:

    This article helped me a lot to understand, I sometimes feel I’m the only one who is “love sick”.

    For 3 decades my high school crush has been on my mind. But more recently for the past 3 weeks it has gotten SO bad – can’t stop thinking about her. Oh yeah, guilty of keeping her pictures and receipts from where she worked. Can’t bear to get rid of them, because in my mind this is unresolved.

    Really don’t know why she has my heart SO much, but she does. Our interaction was minimal, she was shy and nerdy and I was painfully shy and insecure as a teen and kept these feelings to myself – the fear of telling her how I felt was paralyzing for me at that time. The few times I got courage to smile at her or make small talk, she did smile back and was just so sweet. A very pretty girl, when she did smile at me it felt as if I was being struck by a bolt of lighting!

    Have not seen her in 20 yrs. The yearning to just say “hi” and see her in person is excruciating and overwhelming – even though we live on opposite coasts. I believe she is married now from what little info I can find about her online (not much info, just things I already know from those “people finder” websites).

    If she is happy, that’s great and I won’t do anything intentionally to jeopardize that – but I need to resolve the “unfinished” for ME so I can move on as she is affecting my life in a huge way. …Maybe she is mean & angry now, did not age well, never liked me… I don’t know! Poor girl probably has no idea this guy is still crazy about her all these years.

    Every love song, romantic movie, girl who looks like her… reminds me of HER. These days I’m comfortable of who I am and how I look and have no problem attracting good-looking females – the problem is that they can sense someone else is on my mind and these relationships do not last because of that.

    At this point, what do I do? Surely don’t want to creep her out, I’d like to think I am a gentleman. If I knew she would be willing to meet me for a coffee and talk about the old days, I would book a flight to wherever she is in a heartbeat and meet her – for closure or whatever is in fates hands.

    Folks please, if your crush is near you – TELL THEM how you feel NOW, don’t let it drag on for 30 yrs with endless thoughts of them like I did – because you will miss out on so much in life, and hey, they may even surprise you and maybe just feel the same way about you… you’ll never know unless you find out for sure.

  19. Brady says:

    Thanks for creating this post. I didn’t know what was going on with my emotions, and this pretty much sums it up. Haha.

  20. Gale says:

    I was in a relationship for 5 years, so it seemed to me.it was on and off. he knew I was in love with him and would use me for sex. alone,we would cuddle and talk about everything. when we would go out in public suddenly I’d be ignored.I tried to suggest a more…polyamorous approach.purely to satisfy his nature. this really seem to make things worse on both sides.I tried to be okay with him making out with other people, but id just get angry later after holding all that frustration in. He would become crude and insulting to me if i tryed to involve myself with his new intrest. And id be crual as well. it was this inescapable cycle.Everytime I try to end it he would weasel his way back and vice versa. He wouldn’t say no to sex and neither would I. even after I knew he did not love me anymore I still let him have sex with me. he purely come to do it because he couldn’t find anyone else.this lasted until he finally found. its been 3 years and the history lingers in my mind.the what ifs plague me daily and nightly. all I could manage to do is play video games and sleep. I haven’t had a job in 3 years.even after I realized he wasn’t good for me still can’t get over it. I gave him the remainder of my youth and I feel like even though time has passed he is still dragging me behind.

  21. LastChanceLarry says:

    I’m going through this exact thing right now and you summarized the feelings perfectly. Unfortunately, I’m ingrained in the “mixed-messages” variety, where she doesn’t feel exactly the same as me, but does love me on some level…just not enough to make it right for her. I know I need to move on, fast, as I could tick at least 8 of the things of the first list, but I could never hate her, and it might take a while to be comfortable dating.

    I’ve cut of contact with her for a while until I can reconcile these feelings. In the meantime, I’ll be socializing and doing activities as much as possible…it’s the days in the office that are a struggle, as I work alone and have way to much time left with my thoughts…hopefully it improves.

    Thanks for the post.

  22. RE Almanace says:

    It hurts so bad. The ones I love don’t want me and the ones who love ME I don’t want (and I feel bad becuz I know the pain they are feeling).

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