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How to Hurt a Narcissist: 11 Subtle Counterblows to Hurt Them Hard

You’ve been tortured long enough by this narcissist. Now, you want to give them a taste of their own medicine. Can you learn how to hurt a narcissist?

how to hurt a narcissist

I know that the urge for revenge is really strong, especially if they’ve hurt you or someone you care about. Now, learning how to hurt a narcissist is no easy game. In fact, you run the risk of having it backfire in your face and that’s even messier. But if you’re willing to risk it, then you’re going to need to know how to hurt them.

How to hurt a narcissist in 11 ways

If you’ve been manipulated emotionally and mentally by someone that acts only out of their self-interest, well, you’ve met a narcissist. Congratulations! You’ve survived their mental torture. Now, you’ve seen the light. They hurt you in more ways than one, and you’re putting your foot down. You’ve had enough.

Naturally, it’s normal to want revenge on them, to make them feel the pain they’ve put you through. But turning the tables and playing them at their own game isn’t as easy as it looks. It ain’t easy, but it’s possible. [Read: 23 secret signs of narcissism most people overlook until it’s too late]

#1 Think about it first. Listen, having revenge against anyone takes a lot of time and effort. Right now, you’re emotional, you want payback which I totally understand. You can’t do this while being a hot mess. Before you take one step further, you need to make sure you’re calm, because if not, you can make some crucial mistakes which won’t benefit you in any way. [Read: How to be cold and calculated to exact your revenge]

#2 Put feelings to the side. This is super important and why I’m emphasizing this again and again. You need to remove any emotion you had for this person. If this was your partner, you have to drill it into your head that they don’t love you and were just using you for their own benefit. If you’re emotional, you’ll easily fall back into their trap which is what they’re going to try to do. [Read: Never ignore these signs of manipulation in a relationship]

#3  Take time to figure them out. Yes, this person is a narcissist but that’s not enough. If you want to know how to hurt a narcissist, you need to learn how they tick, what’s going on in their heads, and where their weaknesses lie. Stop thinking that they’re above you. Instead, see them as who they really are.

This means you’ll need to look at them objectively in order to find out their vulnerabilities and weak spots. Once you find them out, use this information against them.

#4 Focus on their imperfections. A narcissist is someone obsessed with themselves which means they know their strengths and weaknesses very well. However, this also means that they’re extremely vulnerable and mask their insecurities with extreme confidence.

You were used by them to boost their ego, however, this is the first step in realizing, if done right, how easy they are to crumble. Instead of focusing on complimenting them, focus on their vulnerabilities and flaws without insulting them directly. [Read: 13 ways you can manipulate a narcissist and hurt them]

#5 Treat them how they treat you. If you want to make a narcissist feel bad, then dish them a taste of their own medicine. This is the best way to play with their heads. Do exactly what they do to you. If they’re hot and cold with you, be hot and cold with them. If they would ignore you, ignore them. Use the silent treatment as well, distancing yourself away from them, becoming too busy to spend time with them.

#6 Give them just enough attention. With this being said, you can’t go completely cold, rather, give them just enough attention to keep them around. It’ll drive them nuts as they’ll want validation from you, but don’t give them everything. Now, don’t expect them to change because they won’t as they’ll always think they’re right.

#7 Have them question your feelings. They thought you were obsessed with them, they thought they had you around their finger. This is the entire purpose of your relationship with them if you didn’t notice. But, you need to put them in a position where they wonder if you actually love them at all.

They want confirmation that they’re the only one you want. However, you need to have them thinking, wondering if you even love them. [Read: How to play hard to get to your advantage]

#8 Criticize them in front of people. However, don’t be too insulting. You want to slightly humiliate them and let them know that they aren’t as smart as they think they are. They need constant approval and ego boosts, so, you do the opposite. Make sure that you’re not too obvious and leave emotions out of it.

#9 Focus on you. If you really want the best revenge, focus on yourself. They want you to obsess about them, but when they see you happy, hanging out with people, laughing, and enjoying life, that’s when they feel truly hurt.

Self-respect and self-esteem are things that they can’t handle in a partner and that’s why they chose you. They saw you as someone who was weak. But you’re not. So, move on because that’ll really sting them.

#10 Don’t expect change. This person is a narcissist. They’re not changing any time soon, sorry to give you the bad news. This is a personality disorder, and unless they realize it and want to seek treatment, they’ll never change. This means you’re going to need to be the one who changes.

Make a decision if you want to be with them or not. If you want to stay with them, well, know that this is behavior you’re going to have to deal with on a daily basis. [Read: Can you teach a narcissist to change for the better?]

#11 Recognize the red flags. The next time you meet someone, look for the red flags that they’re possibly a narcissist. If you’ve encountered one on a personal level, the chances are you’re going to encounter another. Know the red flags and look to yourself to see why you’re attracting them.

[Read: How to beat a narcissist at their manipulation games]

Now that you know how to hurt a narcissist, you just have to decide if this is something you really want to do or is it easier to just walk away.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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