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Fear of Rejection: 56 Signs, Causes & Ways to Overcome and Get Over It

Are you self-critical? Do you have a hard time taking risks or stepping out of your comfort zone? Learn how to overcome your fear of rejection and get over it!

fear of rejection

Nobody wants to be rejected. Regardless of what you’re doing in your life, whether you’re dating or applying for jobs, the impending fear of rejection is always creeping its way to the inside of your head, gnawing at any self-confidence you may have.

This is a natural fear that everyone has to some degree, even the most confident among us. It’s just a reaction our bodies have in order to protect themselves from emotional damage. We know that rejection hurts, and we’d like nothing more than to never have to feel it.

But that’s just not realistic. The truth is that life is full of rejection. We all have to deal with it, no matter how strong our fear is.

However, suppose your fear of rejection is crippling and becoming a huge problem in your life. In that case, there are different things you can do to silence negative thoughts. [Read: Is your negative thinking ruining your life?]

What is rejection? 

When someone is rejected, they are excluded from a social relationship or interaction. While we usually associate it with relationships, we can also be rejected for things like getting a job. Even then, the person who interviewed you is rejecting you by not hiring you.

Rejection can be active or passive. If it’s active, behaviors such as bullying, teasing, name-calling, or abusive language will be used. If it’s passive, however, it can result in the silent treatment or just ignoring the person. 

In a nutshell, rejection is not having social acceptance. It is the absence of feeling like others want to include us in their lives. [Read: How to deal with bullies – grownup ways to deal with mean people]

Above all else, rejection results in negative feelings within the person who is rejected. It might create feelings of hostility, depression, withdrawal, sadness, or even jealousy.

What is the fear of rejection? 

When you have a fear of rejection, you will feel nervous and anxious about the possibility of someone rejecting you. It could be for a job or asking someone out on a date. There are literally endless scenarios in which a person can be rejected.

While most people don’t like being rejected, we all have different levels of intensity when it comes to the fear of it. [Read: The truth – why people are mean and extra rude to happy and nice people]

For some, it is literally crippling and life-altering to the point that they practically avoid life altogether. For others, it just stings for a moment, then they shrug their shoulders and move on with their lives.

If your fear of rejection is so intense that it is negatively affecting your life, then that is a problem, and you need to learn how to overcome it.

Why do we fear rejection?

Have you ever wondered why being rejected sucks so much? It all started back in ancient times. [Read: How to be fearless – 18 ways to set aside fear and live like a champion]

Aristotle once said, “Humans are social animals.” From the moment of our birth until the day we die, we will always long for the company of our fellow men. 

Being a part of a group used to be more necessary and important than it is now. Ancient cultures were built and maintained by a group. It was nearly impossible for one individual to gather food and protect himself all on his own. Instead, it was the group that made it possible for everyone to survive.

If you got separated from your group, you most assuredly would die. Therefore, our need to belong and the instinct to avoid pain are both wired in humans, so we tend to avoid rejection. [Read: How to explain anxiety to someone you love and do it fearlessly]

As a result, our natural bonding behavior predisposes us to seek out and form new relationships. This could be something as mundane as helping out a stranger that we barely know or something deeper like falling in love.

Considering that we love the company of other people, we naturally would want to belong and would hate to be rejected. Rejection is being spurned or cut off from the association with others or simply being “unwanted.” 

This is often one of a person’s greatest fears. One would go to great lengths to avoid being rejected. This fear of rejection is one of the main driving forces that influence our social behavior, how we see ourselves, and how we form new relationships. [Read: How to help someone with trust issues open up and overcome their fear]

A life experience concerning rejection could make or break our perception of the issue. For instance, a person who was severely rejected could be traumatized and develop a sense of insecurity and fear of rejection. 

Not being chosen for something or by someone that you really want is tough. It might even make you start thinking that it’s you rather than them with the problem. This is common behavior after rejection, and finding your motivation and spirit again can be an arduous process.

You have to take time to explore the situation to learn from it and grow. Doing so gives you the opportunity to make changes where necessary and to become more secure with the person you are so rejection doesn’t throw you for such a loop the next time. [Read: How to beat that scary fear of rejection and make your move confidently]

While being turned down for a date or not getting a promotion are not life-or-death situations, your brain still responds as if they are. This is why you feel so lost and desperate when you’re rejected.

Everybody fears rejection to some degree, but overly fearing rejection makes us adopt unhealthy behaviors in order to avoid it.

Here are some of the main reasons people would go to great lengths to avoid being rejected.

1. People fear rejection because it feels unpleasant

Nobody wants to go through the embarrassment, disappointment, and self-questioning that happens after they’re rejected. When you’re rejected the first time, the first thing you ask is, “why?” [Read: 20 ways to tell someone that they hurt you and make them see the pain they caused you]

Is it your physical appearance? The manner of your dress? The way you talk? These are some of the questions inside the heads of people with a fear of rejection.

2. People fear rejection because it diminishes your self-worth

If you get rejected by someone, you tend to view yourself negatively. Getting rejected makes you think that you’re inadequate or unappealing to be associated with. In contrast, acceptance and approval boost our ego and confidence.

3. Rejection means being alone

Getting rejected gives one the idea of being alone. Nobody wants to be isolated, so a person’s natural reaction to rejection is to avoid it. [Read: 12 quick tips to add more people to your social circle]

Causes of fear of rejection

As we discussed earlier, our fear of rejection is hard-wired into our brains for survival purposes. The level at which we feel this fear could have been created in our early childhood, depending on how rejected we felt by our parents and other loved ones.

But there are some common causes of fear of rejection that are similar for all of us.

1. Careers/business

A person’s career is very important because it’s the way they feed themselves and their family and how they put a roof over their heads. It’s our lifeline. Without earning money, we might starve. [Read: How to find your meaning when you feel like life is meaningless]

Being rejected from a job opportunity or being fired from your current job can cause a lot of anxiety and fear in a person. It’s being both professionally and personally rejected. Their rejection might affect not just them but their family, too.

2. Social situations

Since human instinct is to be accepted as a part of a social group, this would undoubtedly be a cause for fear of rejection. We see this everywhere, especially with the phenomenon of peer pressure. 

Social pressure from your peers can make you do things that you wouldn’t normally do. People succumb to these behaviors because they don’t want to be rejected by their social group. [Read: How to be more social – 22 ways to genuinely connect with others]

3. Relationships

Not only do we want to be a part of a social group, but we also have a deep desire to have emotionally intimate connections with individuals, especially romantic ones. Having a fear of being rejected in a relationship is a common one.

No one likes being broken up with, especially when they don’t want to break up. Most people feel like it’s a personal insult and that there’s something wrong with them.

4. New friendships

It’s easier to cling to the people you already know because they have a history of not rejecting you. That’s why it’s so difficult for some people to put themselves out there and meet new people. [Read: How to make friends in a new city – 15 ways to feel at home again]

There are a lot of unknowns when you meet new people. You don’t know them, and they don’t know you. This uncertainty can prevent people from trying to develop new friendships.

Signs that you fear rejection

If you’re human, then you have some level of fearing rejection. Some people deal with it quite well. For others, the fear is too intense and negatively affects their life. Here are some signs that you fear rejection too much.

1. You have trouble saying no

If someone asks you for a favor, you can almost never say no. You don’t want them to think you’re a bad person or have any negative thoughts about you.

For example, if they ask you to help them move and you really don’t want to, you say yes anyway, even if you have something else planned. Your fear of rejection may be holding you back, and you might find it impossible to say no because it’s outside your comfort zone. [Read: How to say no – 15 ways to reason politely, stop pleasing, and kick ass]

2. You accept too many responsibilities

Let’s say you’re a mom and you joined your child’s PTO *Parent-Teacher Organization* at school. They ask you to be president, chair committees, and plan all the activities. 

It is a huge time commitment that you don’t really want to do, but you do it anyway because you want to make others like you. This can have a negative impact on your life because you always end up feeling burnt out from all the responsibilities you take on.

3. You are constantly pleasing people

You think that if you please people all the time, they won’t reject you. There are way too many women out there who are broken up with by their boyfriends or husbands and think, “Why did they break up with me? I did everything for them!” [Read: People pleaser – 21 signs you’re one and how to stop people pleasing]

Constantly pleasing people won’t make you immune to rejection, but you think it will. That’s why you keep doing it. As a result, you hide your true self behind a mask, but this does not really help you. Instead, its negative impact on your life only worsens over time until you take action and change the behavior.

4. You have a tendency to become clingy

You’re so fearful of rejection that it makes you anxious with people. Because of this nervous feeling, you tend to become clingy. When you become clingy, you tend to chase people so that they won’t reject you.

The ironic thing is that the very act of being clingy will lead them to reject you. They will feel smothered and want their space, so it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. [Read: Am I clingy? 23 signs of a stage 5 clinger and how to stop being one]

5. You have a constant need for reassurance

Most people who have a fear of rejection often have low self-esteem. They can’t look inside themselves and love themselves. Instead, they have to look to other people to give them reassurance that they are a good person.

If you have the need for constant reassurance from other people, that’s because you have an intense fear of rejection. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t need anyone else’s approval – only your own.

6. You compare yourself negatively with others

Because you fear rejection, you might have a need to be “perfect” to gain acceptance. Since you know you’re not perfect, you always compare yourself to other people, and not in a good way. [Read: Overcoming self-doubt – 26 signs and best ways to stop doubting yourself]

You’re always noticing skinnier, prettier, richer, and more successful people. You beat yourself up because you think that you’re not as good as they are, and you think that you simply wouldn’t get rejected if you were only more like them.

How does the fear of rejection affect your life?

Fear of rejection can be gleaned from some of your overt behaviors, such as the following:

1. People-pleasing behavior

We tend to be careful whenever we’re around others to please them, but people who overly fear rejection tend to put up with a persona meant to please everyone. They do this to the point of putting their own welfare behind that of someone else. 

This also includes the difficulty of saying no to other people for fear of being rejected. [Read: 20 signs you’re too much of a people pleaser]

2. Rigidity

As a result of developing people-pleasing behavior, the person often feels constrained by the persona. Their activities are patterned for the people around them – the inability to voice a particular idea or ask for what they want, the stance to avoid dissenting others’ ideas, and extreme susceptibility to peer pressure. This is because you don’t want to take risks of being disliked.

3. Vulnerability to manipulation

People who fear rejection lose their assertiveness and their ability to stand up for themselves, making them fully dependent on a dominant peer figure. This makes them easily manipulated or used by the people by whom they wish to not be rejected.

How fear of rejection affects relationships

Whether or not you’ve thought about it, the fear of rejection can negatively affect your relationships. After all, fear is a negative emotion that will seep out of you and into your entire partnership if you’re not careful. [Read: Insecurity in a relationship – how to feel more secure and love better]

Here are some things that the fear of rejection can do to your relationships:

1. Jealousy

When you fear rejection, you think that someone will reject you. That emotion is usually rooted in the fact that you think that your partner will find someone better than you.

These feelings of jealousy or suspicion, especially if they are acted upon, can severely damage a relationship. It’s okay to feel a little jealous sometimes, but if you start to accuse your partner of things that they may or may not have done because you don’t think you’re attractive enough, it will only make your partnership worse. [Read: How to deal with jealousy in a relationship and learn to overcome it]

2. Pushing your partner away

This might seem counterintuitive, but it can happen. You might wonder why someone would push their partner away when they fear getting rejected. It kind of doesn’t make any sense, does it?

Actually, it does. You see, in the mind of the person who fears rejection, they think, “I am going to reject them before they reject me.” This could result in withdrawing emotionally and physically, isolating yourself, or doing anything else to put distance between the two of you.

3. Difficulty in setting boundaries

If you are a people-pleaser, then your fear of rejection can hold you back from setting boundaries. You might even end up staying in destructive relationships for longer than you should because you struggle to leave. You’re afraid to be alone. [Read: How to set boundaries in a relationship – 19 rules for healthy love]

Because of this, you let people walk all over you. You don’t have any lines that a person can’t cross. If you had higher self-esteem, you would face your fear of rejection and be able to stand up for yourself.

4. Afraid to share your opinion

When you share your opinion, it opens up a risk of rejection if someone doesn’t agree with you. If you need someone to agree with you, then your fear of rejection is too intense. No one is going to agree on everything.

If you find yourself holding your tongue and not saying how you really feel, that is a bad sign. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion without the fear of being judged by other people. [Read: How to express your opinion without seeming cocky]

5. Take your partner’s bad moods personally

Everyone has their moods, and they’re not always good. Life has its setbacks sometimes and affects us all. If you are particularly sensitive to your partner’s moods, then you fear their rejection.

The reason for this is that you take their moods personally. You think that you said or did something to make them mad at you, that they think you are unlovable, and that they’re rejecting you. In reality, it may have nothing to do with you.

Overcome fear of rejection for good

Many people worry so much when it comes to rejection, and it is important to note that everyone fears rejection to some degree. However, it is when you develop an excessive fear that it will start to harm your relationships and self-perception. [Read: How to overcome insecurity issues and reclaim power over your life]

If you have anxiety on top of it, then it can be a recipe for becoming a hermit… forever condemned to the depths of your lonely home.

If this sounds like you and you’re desperate for a way to kick that fear of rejection from your life for good, you’ll want to keep reading. Here is a list of fool-proof steps to overcome your fear and make sure it stays away:

1. Breathe

When you get rejected, you might be blind-sided. When this happens, it’s easy to let your mind, body, emotions, and thoughts get out of control. You might feel like you’re spiraling downward. [Read: How to calm down – 15 instant hacks to put the crazy away]

If that’s the case, you should just start with breathing. Stop your thoughts, gather your composure, and focus on your breath. This is a good way to calm yourself down so that you can put things into perspective.

2. Figure out why you got rejected

Sometimes we’re not sure why we got rejected, and it can hurt because you have no answers. However, sometimes you can get answers. It can be by asking the person who rejected you or by trying to figure it out on your own.

You can do some self-reflection to try to determine whether or not you did anything wrong. Maybe you did, maybe you didn’t. If you did, then you can learn to do better in the future.

If you ask the person why they rejected you and they didn’t give you a good reason, then don’t take it personally. [Read: The best questions to ask your ex after a breakup to find closure]

3. Determine why you’re afraid of rejection

Rejection affects everybody in a negative manner. If it feels especially bad for you, determine why that is. Before you can beat the fear of rejection, you have to know why it’s such a bad fear in the first place.

Were you humiliated by being rejected once? Does it turn your world upside down? Are you just easily embarrassed? Decide what it is for you, then confront those issues separately.

4. Let go of the guilt

Maybe you got rejected because you did something wrong. Perhaps you cheated, lied, or betrayed someone. While that is not good behavior, you need to learn your lesson and forgive yourself. [Read: How to forgive yourself and free yourself of the weight of guilt]

Holding on to the guilt won’t help you in the future. As Maya Angelou said, “When you know better, you do better.” Use this guilt as a motivator to become a better person, and maybe you won’t get rejected as much.

5. The “fear” is merely a state of mind

If you think about it, almost all people have experienced rejection at some point in their lives, yet they’re still very much alive and functioning. Surely you have rejected people, too. It just happens.

If you give this a little thought, it is the fear itself and not the rejection that makes you vulnerable. If you lose the irrational fear, you will see rejection as something normal, thus helping you become less afraid of actual rejection and also avoiding the effects associated with these fears. This will also help you move forward faster if you get rejected. [Read: How to stop overthinking – secrets to go from overthinker to relaxer]

6. Remind yourself that rejection happens to everyone

Rejection is just a part of daily life. Remember the saying: “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me.” In the same manner, rejection will not kill you. You have been and will likely continue to be rejected, and you will still be here alive and functioning.

7. Consider worst/best-case scenarios

Most of the time, people fear rejection because they don’t know what the outcome will be. It’s the unknown. In order to get rid of this fear, go over the best and worst-case scenarios.

When you have determined the absolute worst thing that could possibly happen in a situation where rejection is a threat, you will be much more prepared. You may even realize that being rejected isn’t the worst, after all. [Try: Fear of failure and why you shouldn’t be afraid to fail]

8. Spend time working on yourself

Another reason people fear rejection so fiercely is because of insecurities. They aren’t very confident in themselves, and it leads to a greater fear of them failing and being rejected.

Take some time to work on yourself to develop a strong sense of resilience. Read some books to gain knowledge, help out at a shelter of some kind, or just pamper yourself. Talk to a therapist if you must. Becoming a better person will ease the fear of being rejected because you won’t base your worth on the opinions of others.

9. Exercise

Everyone knows that exercise is good for your body, but it’s also good for your mind and soul. It allows you to release tension and stress and get your mind clear. [Read: Benefits of exercise on your mind, body, and libido]

It also helps you take care of yourself and keep you healthy. Since rejection and the fear of rejection can lead to an overload of negative emotions, regular exercise can help your body normalize and come back to equilibrium.

10. Validate your feelings

While your emotions are real to you, there’s a chance that you still might doubt that you have a right to feel the way you do. But it’s okay to feel your emotions. In fact, feel them fully at first.

Validate yourself. Be kind to yourself and repeat in your mind that you have every right to feel rejected. It happens to everyone. The faster you can accept and validate your emotions, the faster you will be able to move past them. [Read: New relationship doubts – 17 toxic and normal signs to read what you feel]

11. Realize your worth

Just like working on making yourself a better person can ease the fear of rejection, gaining some self-worth and confidence can do wonders. Those who are confident are those who go out and go after just about anything without ever fearing the outcome.

Go buy something that’ll make you feel great about yourself. Hit the gym extra hard in order to improve your body image. Another great way to ramp up confidence is to take a boxing lesson.

It’s a great workout, and it makes you feel powerful, confident, and fearless. [Check it out: Tips to fall in love with yourself and be a better you]

12. Realize that life is short

This one may not seem like a big deal, but realizing that life is rather short goes a long way with helping you overcome your fear of rejection. 

When you put life into perspective, you’ll come to understand that you have two options: go for it and deal with rejection, or live in fear and never find out. You’ll be surprised by how quickly the fear dissipates.

13. Practice

Although one may not want to practice being rejected, it’s an awesome way to grow accustomed to the feeling. After being rejected over and over again, you’ll learn how to react, and it may become easier for you to deal with it. [Read: How to stop caring – 20 steps on how not to care and put yourself first]

This is especially true for dating. If you have a horrible fear of rejection, go after people who are generally out of your league. Take that leap and be rejected by them. 

You’ll soon discover that it’s not so scary, after all. And hey, you may not be rejected, and your confidence will skyrocket.

14. Sometimes a rejection has nothing to do with you

Have you ever been fearful of being rejected and then suddenly realized that you may not even be the reason that you might be rejected?

If you’re heading out to pick up someone that you may want to date and they say no, do you think that it might be their own problem and not yours at all? [Try this next: How to get over a breakup]

When you take a step back and actually analyze the situation, you may come to the conclusion that the reality of being rejected might not have a thing to do with you. From there, the fear pretty much vanishes.

15. Understand that you’re not everyone’s cup of tea

Not everybody is going to like you. Not everybody is going to think that you’re the best fit for their needs. It’s not harsh, and it’s not something you should be fearful of. It’s just the way life works.

Once you realize that, rejection isn’t something that feels like a personal attack but a natural occurrence of life. Understanding this will help you beat that fear of rejection. [Read: Top reasons men get rejected by the women they want]

16. Envisioning situations

Have you ever heard of the power of visualization? If you imagine a situation turning out a certain way often enough, it will turn out that way. That’s how the saying goes, at least. But did you know that this actually has some truth to it?

Envision a situation in which rejection doesn’t happen. Envision the same situation where you are rejected. In the second situation, visualize this without the fear of rejection. If you do this enough, your fear in real life will also disappear.

17. Put yourself in situations where you won’t be rejected

The best way to get over the fear of rejection is to make sure you’re not in a position in which you will be rejected.

Do your research before a job interview. Go hit on people that you know are single and ready to mingle. Do whatever you can to prepare for the day ahead of you. [Try: Ways to stop negative people from sapping your energy]

18. Keep a list of positives to read off before heading into a situation

If you need a little pick-me-up before going into a situation where you have the chance to be rejected, keep a small list of things to read that will make you feel better.

Remind yourself of all your good traits, of why rejection shouldn’t be feared, and then continue with your day. It’ll ease the tension and put you in a positive mindset.

19. Always be prepared for the worst

Nobody wants to think about the worst thing that can happen, but you should always be prepared for it. When you walk into a place thinking there’s no way you can be rejected, you risk having your world crash down around you. [Read next: Positive ways to deal with rejection in any scenario]

Be prepared to be rejected. Know exactly what you will say or do if it happens, and you will see that your fear will go away. Since you’re prepared for it, you can deal with it.

20. You will never be truly alone

As stated, one of the reasons people fear rejection is that they believe they will be isolated and unwanted. That is absolutely untrue. 

If you get rejected by a person you like, you still have your friends, associates, and family. Keep in mind that the people who will accept you greatly outnumber the people who will reject you. It’s all a matter of perspective. [Read: Why do I feel so alone? The truths that can heal and change your life]

Everyone has a core group of friends or a best friend to support them in case things go south. If you notice, it is that inner circle of friends that will always be there to join you for a drink if you get dumped or rejected by someone you like.

21. Be gentle with yourself

Another reason why people get fazed by rejection is the idea that acceptance equals self-importance. Because of that, people tend to beat themselves up. You should be gentle with yourself instead.

People who fear rejection too much develop a people-pleasing attitude, which makes them agree to anything, even if they’re uncomfortable with it. [Read: How to be kind to yourself and others and love life instead of hating it]

Remember that you are a unique individual, and you know yourself better than anyone else. You should know better than to pattern your activities to suit everyone’s tastes. It may be time to flip the switch and start doing the things you see fit for you, even if it leads to a few rejections.

22. If someone rejects you, there are others out there who are worth your attention

Rejection is never more meaningful when it comes to romance, because it’s more painful and distressing compared to other forms of rejection. As the common saying goes, there are a lot of fish in the sea.

If someone rejects you, it’s not the end of the world. You don’t have to mope and vow you’ll never try dating again. [Read: Reasons men get rejected by the woman they want]

It doesn’t mean that you’re a despicable person who doesn’t deserve to be loved. Whoever rejected your advances may have had a good reason to do so, and it’s a cue for you to just accept it and move on.

23. Focus on self-care

When your situation makes you feel worthless, it’s easy to let yourself go. After all, why should you care about yourself when no one else does? This is harmful, unproductive thinking that gets you nowhere.

Instead of vegging out in front of the TV or lying in bed all day moping, get up, shower, and get dressed. Treat your body well by eating healthy foods and exercising, even if you have to force it.

The better care you take of yourself, the better you’ll feel. [Read: Steps to fall in love with yourself and be a much better YOU]

24. Believe the truth

The rejection you experienced is simply one person’s opinion at one particular point in time. It’s not the ultimate opinion about who you are or what you’re worth. 

Heck, the rejecter may not even know you that well. Choose to believe this as truth and choose it over and over, especially when you find yourself dwelling on the rejection again.

25. It’s okay to grieve

No matter the reason for the rejection or the area of life it occurs in, rejection is usually accompanied by strong emotions. In many cases, they can be overwhelming. Fear, anger, and grief are all normal feelings after being rejected. [Read: 20 reasons he simply doesn’t like you back]

The trick to overcoming rejection, though, is to not squelch the feelings you’re having. The grieving process includes several stages, so allow enough time to experience and work through each one properly to get past your rejection.

26. Surround yourself with people who care about you

Don’t be afraid to talk to people you trust about how you’re feeling. Talking to friends and family helps you realize you’re not alone and, regardless of what the person who rejected you thinks, other people do like you and want you around.

Talking about your feelings with others helps you process your emotions and gain insight and opinions that you might not have considered before. [Read: 15 feel-good secrets to feel better about yourself]

27. Stop obsessing about the rejection

After being rejected, many people tend to revisit the rejection over and over again, hoping to figure out why it happened. Stop it. Don’t do it. 

Replaying the rejection again and again, looking for mistakes you might have made or things you might have said wrong, isn’t going to help you move past it. It will keep you in the moment for as long as you obsess over it, so do yourself a favor and let the moment stay where it belongs – firmly in the past.

28. Avoid negative self-talk

Right away, most people blame themselves for their rejections. “If only I had… ” or “Why can’t I be more… ?” These types of thoughts never make you feel better, and the majority of them are not true. [Read: Positive self-talk – what it is, where it comes from, and how to master it]

For instance, if you’re passed over for a job, and you start blaming yourself for not taking an internship the previous year instead of traveling, stop right there. 

Instead of taking the blame for not scoring that job, tell yourself, “No, you know you wouldn’t have been happy in that internship instead of traveling. Besides, I learned more traveling the world than I ever learned at any job.”

Being able to be objective about rejection allows you to see that it probably wasn’t completely your fault. [Read: How your self-respect affects you and the relationships you have]

29. Don’t get stuck

Earlier, we said you should feel your feelings. Now, we’re telling you not to get stuck in them. In other words, it’s one thing to allow yourself to grieve and process your emotions, but it’s another to let them run your life. 

If you begin noticing your feelings turning into bitterness, or if anger or depression keeps you from taking part in everyday life, do what you have to do to move on from those feelings.

Seek therapy or take medication to regulate your emotions until you get to a better place. Sometimes, being rejected can have such a profound effect on us that we aren’t strong enough to overcome it on our own, and that’s perfectly alright. [Read: How to get your shit together – 16 strategies to stop getting stuck]

30. Adopt a growth mindset

If you fear rejection so much that it cripples you and negatively affects your life, then you are letting rejection control you. You let it beat you down, and then you become a worse person because of it. 

So, you need to adopt a growth mindset instead. You can learn and grow from rejection and become a better person. The key to doing this is re-framing the rejection from a negative to a positive. You can use this and grow from it.

31. Consider making changes

Even if the rejection was not your fault, you might consider making changes in how you handle a situation like that in the future.

For example, you might practice an interview before going to one next time. Maybe you’ll choose not to participate in online dating again. [Read: How to improve yourself – 16 powerful secrets of self-improvement]

32. Get back on your feet

All of the tips thus far will certainly help you bounce back from rejection. Ultimately, though, the best way to get past it is by getting back out there. 

Make new friends, apply for another job, or ask someone out on a date. That doesn’t mean that you have to do any of this right away, but it should be something you keep in the back of your mind from the beginning.

If you find it hard to get back into the swing of things, making small victories can help you regain your confidence. You might stage a mock interview with a friend who does the hiring at his job to get feedback on what you can do better. [Read: How to love again after being hurt by someone]

You might take a friend out on a date just to get your feet wet again. Whatever you choose, remember that practice makes perfect in all areas of life.

33. Realize the pain will end eventually

You know the old saying, “Time heals all wounds,” don’t you? Well, it definitely applies here. 

You might feel as if the pain of rejection is going to last forever, or at least until it kills you. The truth is that the pain eventually ends on its own. [Read: The real reason behind why love hurts so much when it goes bad]

One day, you’ll wake up and realize you feel a little better – that life just might be worth living again. It’s okay to take some time to grieve your rejection. Keeping in mind that the pain of it is temporary helps you get over it that much quicker.

34. Look for the learning opportunity

People will normally think that rejection is all bad with all the grief it causes. Most people fail to realize that rejection can be a personal learning opportunity. 

Each rejection carries a lesson with it. Figuring out what this lesson is could make it easier to move beyond the rejection. [Read: Simple things you do that are making your life so much worse right now]

The lesson could be something you would do differently if ever you were in the same situation again, or it could simply be learning that not everyone sees things the same way you do.

With a little optimism and open-mindedness, you can see that rejection is a way of people saying “no” and a sign for you to learn when to stop. All it takes is for you to learn from your past experiences of rejection so that when the time comes and you’re be confronted with a similar situation, you will be ready.

35. Rejection could make you a better person

If you get rejected, you could either get discouraged and reclusive or take it as a challenge to improve yourself. The key is to always stay positive and keep in mind that rejection is not equal to animosity toward you as a person. [Read: Powerful ways to combat and break out of loneliness]

If you get rejected in a job application, a sports try-out, or a talent audition, it tells you to stop, backtrack, and improve whatever craft or skill you have. If you think you’ve improved, then try again, stronger and more confident.

Final thoughts

Rejection is a normal part of life. You will be rejected every now and then be it from a clique, a job interview, a credit card application, or from a romantic interest.

It really sucks, but with just a little willpower on your part, and the help of some good friends and family, you can bounce back and move beyond the hurt and disappointment. In fact, you can be even stronger than before.

[Read: Loving someone you can’t have – 15 ways to deal with the pain]

Using these tips as a guide, you can get over your fear of rejection, identify what you can learn from it, and move on as a happier, healthier, and stronger individual. You’ll be happy you did.

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of LovePanky.com, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...