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How to Be True to Yourself and Start Living Your Life on Your Terms

It’s easy to allow people to tell us who we should be. What’s the point of pretending to be someone you’re not? Instead, learn how to be true to yourself.

how to be true to yourself

Though it’s easy to talk about how to be true to yourself, it can actually be a challenging decision to make and follow through on. This means standing tall with your opinions and thoughts, defending them, and not letting yourself slide into an opinion because it’s popular or accepted.

This takes courage, but honestly, it’s so much easier being yourself and staying true to you than it is pretending to be someone else. But since you’re here, you know that it’s time to make a change and live life the way you want to live it. [Read: How to set aside fear and live your life]

How to be true to yourself

If you’re reading this, you’re already at the breaking point. You’re tired of listening to what everyone else wants you to do, say, or be. You followed the ideas and opinions of others for years, even when you didn’t agree with them. What’s that about? Of course, this is connected to your self-esteem and fear. We all struggle with these issues, so you’re not the only one.

Maybe you talk about people acting genuinely, but, let’s get real, you’re not being authentic and genuine either. So, you feed this vicious cycle of fakeness. You’re getting tired of it, aren’t you? Why waste your time being untrue to yourself when you can learn how to be true to yourself?

#1 Stop being a sheep. Here’s the thing, most of us avoid being true to ourselves because we want to be liked. We’re scared that our opinions are going to drive others away and being disliked isn’t a nice feeling, we all know that. So instead, we turn into a people-pleaser.

If you want to be true to yourself, stop being a sheep and trying to please people. Learn to love and please yourself and others will follow. [Read: Do you have the signs of a people pleaser?]

#2 Start saying “no.” Oh, I know that this is a hard one. It’s hard to say “no” to people we care about and set healthy boundaries. Naturally, we say “yes” to people because we don’t want to disappoint others.

However, self-sacrificing doesn’t make you a hero, it just means you put your needs behind others. That’s not self-love. This doesn’t mean you need to say “no” with anger or bitterness, just say “no” respectfully and firmly. [Read: A guide to learning how to say no and stop always pleasing people]

#3 Pay attention to yourself. It’s so easy to get caught up in other people’s dreams, goals, and agendas. But this is your life, it’s not meant to be used for making sure other people achieve their dreams. Sit down with yourself and explore your dreams, goals, and agenda.

What are the things you want accomplished in your life? Set realistic and small goals to help you achieve your own dreams.

#4 Remove the toxic people from your life. Ah yes, the toxic ones. These are the ones that you always help, but they never support your goals or are indifferent to them. If you want to stay true to yourself, remove the people who judge you. You don’t have time to deal with them. If anything, they only bring distractions. Surround yourself with people who love the person you are. [Read: How to start a new life and move on from the toxicity for good]

#5 Get emotional. If you’re not true to yourself, you don’t connect with yourself on an emotional level. You constantly push down your real feelings in order to appear a certain way, but it’s all a lie. It’s time to get real with yourself. Bring the hidden emotions to the surface. Whatever you’re feeling deep down, bring it out. It’s time.

#6 Take responsibility for your life. No one forced you to put yourself in last place. It was caused by low self-esteem. But now it’s time to acknowledge it and work on it. No one else is going to help you if you’re not willing to help yourself. So, take responsibility for your life and own it. The past is in the past, now you only have the future ahead of you. [Read: What it means to be your own hero and take control of your life]

#7 You are who you are. You can try to be whoever else you want to be but at the end of the day, it’s all bullshit. If you want to be true to yourself, you’re going to have to accept who you are. If not, you can never find happiness because you’re fake. So, get over the fact that you’re not Kylie Jenner and live your own life. Trust me, she’s just a product of the industry.

#8 You’re going to die. This is the only way I can say this. Eventually, one day, your life will be over. Remember that. Knowing that your life will end at some point, how can you not chase your dreams and be true to yourself? Truly live the life you want by being you.

#9 Know what your strengths are. You may think that you need to be someone else because you’re not strong enough, etc, but you are. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. You focus on your weaknesses rather than your strengths. Look at what your strengths are and focus on them. [Read: How to build self esteem and love your life in 10 easy steps]

#10 You’re going to make mistakes. Here’s the thing, you’re going to mess up along the way. There will be moments where you’re going to second guess if this is a good idea, but listen, this is just a small bump in the road. You think being genuine and honest is easy? Hell no! People can’t stand that because most of them aren’t able to be genuine and honest themselves.

#11 Take it easy on yourself. This isn’t something short-term, this is going to be a process that will last years and years. Changing your self-esteem is a long-term project that you constantly battle with. At the end, it’s worth the fight. But in the meantime, don’t be hard on yourself. You’re going to have ups and downs. It’s just a part of life. [Read: Achieving self-acceptance: 10 little steps for one big change]

#12 It’s going to be okay. You’ve already hit this point in your life where you’re tired of being someone else and following others. So, you made it past one giant obstacle. Being aware of the issue is a huge step, and you’ve hurdled over it. From here on out, it’ll be a challenge, but nothing you can’t accomplish. It’s going to be okay.

[Read: The steps to take to unfake your life and learn to love you]

When you’re not being true to yourself, you limit yourself from what you can truly achieve. It’s time to start by learning how to be true to yourself and reinvent your life again.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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