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Why Am I So Emotional? Emotional Stability & 27 Secrets to Balance Life

Emotional stability isn’t an easy thing to achieve, but if you’re regularly asking yourself, ‘why am I so emotional,’ emotional stability is something you can work toward. 

why am I so emotional - emotional stability

Having emotions is normal – obviously. But some people tend to have lesser emotional stability and be far more emotional than others. These people were often referred to as “cry babies” when they were little and as they grew, they were then called “immature.” Those people probably often ask themselves, “why am I so emotional?”

As we grow older, we realize it’s harder than it looks to control our emotions. Whether you’re a natural empath or just sensitive, being emotional can make you feel out of control at times.

But don’t start blaming yourself. Being emotional has far more to do with science and genetics than it does with anything else. [Read: How to control your emotions and become the pinnacle of restraint]

Is it bad to be emotional?

There’s absolutely NOTHING wrong with showing your emotions. Everyone has them. Just because some people choose to hide that side of them doesn’t mean you should if you don’t want to. Having emotions isn’t a bad thing, they’re all part of the human experience.

In fact, showing your emotions can even be a sign of strength and bravery. The only reason why it’s frowned upon is because people assume that strength means being invincible and powerful. In other words, emotions equate to weakness, which isn’t true at all.

So if you’re feeling sad – then feel sad! Cry if you have to. Don’t apologize for how you feel or for who you are. Own it. That emotional side of you may be what someone falls in love with someday. [Read: Should you embrace your sensitive side?]

What is emotional stability and why is it important?

First, let’s define emotional stability before we start talking about how you can achieve it in more detail. 

Emotional stability means you’re able to control your emotional peaks and troughs. It doesn’t mean you’re constantly happy. That’s an impossible aim. 

When a difficult emotion comes your way, such as anger, fear, regret, or sadness, you can experience it and acknowledge it, but you don’t allow it to take you over to the point where it ruins your day or makes you do something you wish you hadn’t. It’s about control. [Read: How to take care of yourself emotionally and avoid falling apart]

It’s easy to assume that you have no control over your emotions because they’re so strong sometimes. But, you have total control.

Emotions are chemical responses in the brain – they’re not all-powerful wizards with the ability to take over your body! 

When you learn how to control your emotions in this way, you’re more on an even keel. You don’t have the major highs and lows that you may experience otherwise. [Read: Why am I so emotional? Science has the answers you may not expect]

Why am I so emotional? – What science has to say about your feelings

Emotions have everything to do with your brain and its chemistry. Therefore, you can’t really do anything about being a really emotional person. Sure, you can practice hiding those emotions, but that’s not always healthy.

If you often ask yourself, “why am I so emotional?” these answers may be what you’re looking for. Just remember that everyone is different and how you’re feeling could be 100% unique to you, your situation, and your own emotional stability. [Read: Simple ways to calmly deal with difficult people]

1. You’re only human

A lot of people in Western societies may feel like they’re “too emotional” based on society’s standards.

It’s often thought that men aren’t supposed to have too many “feelings” and that it’s more acceptable for women to be overly emotional. But in reality, you might not be too emotional at all. What you’re feeling could be completely average.

It really depends on your culture and those around you. You may think that you’re too emotional when that’s not the case at all in reality. Have a change of environment and culture, and maybe you’ll start to see that your emotions are pretty average. [Read: How to express your feelings & get your point across the right way]

2. Hormones

If you have a hormone imbalance, you’ll start to feel very emotional. The stereotype of women being very emotional around the time of their period was invented because their hormones fluctuate during that time. Therefore, women are particularly more sensitive during this time.

However, your hormones can fluctuate for a number of reasons, affecting emotional stability. Sometimes you’re not eating enough, and other times you may just have an issue with something you’ve eaten.

The bottom line is that if you’re randomly feeling very emotional, your hormones may be responsible. [Read: The factors that play a big role in emotional stability]

3. Genetics

If your family members are the same way, it’s just how you are. You were made to be a more emotional person and there’s really nothing “wrong” with you at all. So embrace your emotional side!

It just means that genetically, you feel emotions on a deeper level than other people. You can’t control how emotional you get if this is the factor responsible for how you feel.

4. You’re not getting enough sleep

If you frequently get less than 7 hours of sleep a night and you ask yourself “why am I so emotional?” it’s because of sleep deprivation. Your brain needs time to rest and recuperate.

If it can’t do that, it won’t be able to process emotions the same. AKA, you’ll get cranky and sad very easily.

Also, when you’re sleep-deprived, your body produces more of the stress hormone, cortisol. In other words, get more sleep if you want to be less emotional! [Read: 15 reasons you’re emotionally drained and how to cure it]

5. You’ve been through something traumatic

If you’ve experienced trauma, you may end up being a more emotional person as a result. This is often due to PTSD-related issues. Your emotions will be triggered far easier and it causes you to relive certain horrors.

So if you’ve experienced any kind of trauma in your life, whenever you see or feel a trigger, then your emotional side automatically kicks in. Trauma can block the logical side of our brain, so it’s not unusual to become emotional because of your trauma.

If this sounds like you, there are a lot of options to seek help. Seeing a healthcare professional can help you get on the right track in dealing with your PTSD. [Read: 19 signs of emotional damage and ways to get past them]

6. You may have anxiety

Those with anxiety are usually much more emotional than other people. This is largely due to their minds going through different possibilities and outcomes – all of which provide a different emotional response. When you keep asking, “why am I so emotional?” it’s possible you have anxiety.

It’s tough to live with anxiety as even the simplest things can trigger a panic attack and even make breathing difficult. Even without a logical explanation, you just fear something specific.

When someone has generalized anxiety, they’re always thinking of the possible outcomes, even irrational ones. [Read: Signs of anxiety: How to read the signs ASAP & handle them better]

7. You’re exposed to other highly emotional people

People are contagious and so are their emotions. That being said, if you’re always around people who are typically more emotional and sensitive, you’ll pick up on that.

We’re the average of the five people we spend most of our time with and it affects our emotional stability.

So if you’re always around emotional people, that might be the leading factor that you’re feeling more sensitive than usual. Maybe it’s not necessarily that you’re emotional, but you’re relating to them more. [Read: Why are women so emotional?]

8. You’re overly stressed

Stress, just like a lack of sleep, can definitely change our emotions. Not only will you become more irritable, but your emotions will fluctuate significantly. More specifically, you’ll get angry and sad a lot easier than you normally would.

When you’re consumed by stress and frustrations, your emotions are out of control and all over the place. In order to cope with this, find a healthy outlet for that stress.

Exercising regularly, getting into a relaxing hobby, and even getting the occasional massage can help you manage your stress much more effectively. [Read: Really quick stress busters to recharge your mind]

9. You’re not eating well

If you thought food doesn’t affect your emotional stability, you’ve got another thing coming. What you eat has a large role to play when it comes to how emotional you are as a person.

Nutrition affects your mood and energy levels, so if you don’t eat a balanced diet or constantly consume foods that are bad for you, it affects your emotions.

Research is just beginning to understand how mood is determined by a balance of good and bad bacteria in the intestine. Too much bad bacteria can affect your mood and make it hard for you to stabilize your mood.

In short, your dietary habits may have more to do with your mood stabilization than you realize. [Read: 17 ways to live a simple life that’s more satisfying]

10. You could be depressed

Being very emotional is a big sign of depression. In addition to the other signs, if you find yourself unable to handle the fluctuations in your emotions, seek professional help. There are a lot of options when it comes to dealing with depression successfully.

Depression is not something you should take lightly and you certainly don’t have to just live with it. [Read: 20 things you can’t ignore when dating an emotional person]

11. You need physical activity

Physical activity and any form of exercise can make you feel good about yourself. So if you want to control of your emotions, exercise is a great way to achieve that. Exercise releases endorphins and dopamine into your body, which are both happy hormones.

Whether it’s running, cycling, swimming, or heading to the gym, just move your body in any way you prefer. You’ll see your mood gradually change. [Read: 25 inspirational tips to get motivated and work out]

12. You’re going through big changes

Even if life is all about changes, we’re not exactly good at dealing with them. So if you’re asking the question, “why am I so emotional?” assess whether you’re going through personal changes.

Maybe you’re going through a divorce, breakup, your parents’ marriage ending, starting a new school, just been fired, or something along those lines.

Your emotions are temporary until you adjust to these changes or fix something in your situation. [Read: Why am I so unhappy? The changes that will change you for good]

13. Grief and loss

This is a really tough factor in answering the question, “why am I so emotional?” but a valid one. Even if grief is often associated with feeling numb and unmotivated, it can also make you feel emotional. There are five stages of grief after all, one of which is anger.

After you’re done denying the reality of your loss, you feel so emotional because of that loss, and your emotions are out of control.

You don’t know how to cope or how to handle them. If this is you, grief support groups can help you understand your emotions. [Read: Losing your best friend: How to navigate the grieving process]

14. Mental disorders

Mental health problems are valid reasons for struggling with emotional stability. There are several other issues too, such as ADHD or Bipolar disorder.

When you’re struggling with any mental illness, you stop thinking logically, and your emotions tend to be all over the place.

Even if it’s something unrelated to your emotions like an eating disorder, it can make you feel more emotional than usual. Again, if this is the case, it’s best to seek the help of a professional. [Read: Why we need to breakdown the stigma of mental illness]

15. Health reasons

If you’re diagnosed with PCOS, thyroid issues, PMDD, or taking birth control, then you’ll feel more emotional than usual. Your health is highly related to your mood, which is often why we feel emotionally unstable when we’re sick, physically or mentally.

It’s a normal reaction, even if it’s one we don’t really favor.

16. Destructive relationships  

There are times when destructive relationships can lead to throwing your emotional stability off-kilter. Nothing is more frustrating than trying to put the pieces of a puzzle together that don’t fit. [Read: 15 signs of a toxic relationship that’ll go from bad to worse]

If you continually try to reach your partner and they aren’t reciprocal, or worse, they set you down a course of feeling lonely or hopeless, that can make it difficult to know whether you are coming or going.

It’s not easy to get to the bottom of why a relationship isn’t doing so well but communication is key. Sometimes all it takes is an open and honest conversation. [Read: 18 critical signs of an unhealthy relationship that need a quick fix]

17. Learned behaviors 

There are times when outbursts can occur and emotional stability is affected because of poor modeling while growing up.

If your partner appears to have extreme shifts in moods, or triggers that make them fly off the handle, that may be less about mood disorders and more about behaviors learned during childhood. 

You learn certain patterns of behavior from your parents. If your significant other had an abusive parent or one that had a mood disorder, it is likely they learned poor coping behaviors early on. 

Overcoming this can be tough and it’s not something you can force someone else to do. Be there for them and listen to them when they speak to you.

If it’s something you’re struggling with personally, speak to someone you can trust, or seek out professional help to undo damaging thought patterns. [Read: Only child syndrome – The good and the bad of dating an only child]

18. Aspartame side effects 

Some people react differently to artificial sweeteners such as aspartame. If you are dating a diet soda freak, there is the potential that their symptoms of emotional instability may be related to a side effect of a widely used chemical called aspartame. 

The solution to this issue? Cut out the offending drink and change it to something much more natural, i.e. water. [Read: Dating someone with depression – Is it ever worth it?]

19. Dieting or not eating enough 

Continual food deprivation, anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, or a severe reduction in calorie-intake can lead to severe mood swings.

If you have noticed that someone is losing a lot of weight or they are dieting and trying too aggressively to drop pounds, it may be showing up in their behavior as extreme mood swings or the inability to maintain emotional stability. 

If you are dieting to extremes or you feel like your eating habits are completely unpredictable, focus on this as a priority. Seek help to overcome the issue and make health a priority. [Read: Do you feel emotionally drained? 15 reasons and cures]

20. You’re out of touch with your emotions

If you constantly avoid your emotions because you can’t handle them or you struggle to work out what they mean, you’re going to find yourself pretty sensitive and emotional most of the time.

Being out of touch with your emotions is one of the main reasons why people ask ‘why am I so emotional?’

Spend some time journaling as this will allow you to work out what you’re feeling and potentially pinpoint what is trigering your emotions. Once you can deal with your emotions a little better, you’ll be able to handle whatever comes your way.

21. You’re a highly sensitive person (HSP)

A highly sensitive person is someone who is particularly sensitive to social, physical, and emotional stimuli.

You might notice that you become overwhelmed by loud noises or emotions very easily and no, it doesn’t mean that you should ‘just get over it!’

If you’re a HSP, learning how to handle stress will help you to feel more balanced, while also making sure that you have plenty of alone time. Also identify a safe space where you can go and calm down often. [Read: Being an empath – 17 signs and ways you feel deeper than other people]

Healthy ways to process your emotions

Identifying why you are feeling so emotional is one thing, but learning how to handle your emotions is quite another.

Thankfully, we have several methods you can use. See which of the following works best for you.

1. Name and accept your emotions

The first thing is to accept that you are feeling the way you are. We mentioned journaling earlier and that can certainly help you to identify the emotion and accept it.

When you’re overwhelmed with stimuli, it’s hard to work out what you’re feeling and that’s when writing things down will help. [Read: How to feel better about life – 16 small steps to feel great again]

2. Recognize the impermanence of your emotions

Whenever you’re feeling particularly emotional, remind yourself that emotions peak and trough. You’re not going to feel this way for long. Emotions are temporary things.

Once you tell yourself this, you’ll find it easier to breathe through it and let it go.

3. Investigate the origin

You know what you’re feeling and you’ve accepted it, but if it keeps cropping up, it’s time to investigate where it’s coming from. Again, your journal will help you with this.

Once you know what is causing your emotions to rise up, you’ll be able to work out how to face it and deal with it. [Read: 28 self-improvement secrets to improve yourself and transform into your best self]

4. Let go of control

You can’t control everything and you certainly can’t control how you feel about things that happen. But you can control what you do about them.

Emotions can sometimes be so strong that they push us to do things we wouldn’t normally do. After your emotions die down, you wish you’d not done anything. Understanding that you can’t control everything will allow you to develop a more laid-back attitude to these things.

5. Meditate with a mantra

Meditation is a great way to get in touch with your emotions and learn to handle them better. If you want to master emotional stability, meditation is the way forward.

When you throw in a mantra into your daily routine, you’ll have a tool to help you whenever emotions rise on the go.

So, if you’re at work and you start to feel angry about something that’s going on, you can just repeat your mantra to connect you to a calmer state of mind. [Read: How to be present – The guide to find your zone of calm perfection]

6. Know when to seek help

It may be that you need a little extra help to handle your emotions and if that’s the case, you should reach out and get it. There is no shame in asking for help here and it could be that your emotional sensitivity is actually down to a mental disorder that requires treatment.

You won’t know until you reach out.

Therapy will help you to handle emotional times and will equip you with the tools to overcome life’s ups and downs. [Read: Why we need to breakdown the stigma of mental illness]

Feeling your emotions is normal, but balancing them is key

There are several factors to consider when figuring out why you’re more emotional. Many of these are a combination of factors you can and cannot control.

Maybe it’s your genetics, mental health, physical health, or maybe you’re just grieving over the loss of a loved one. Whichever it is, realize that being emotional isn’t always a bad thing. It’s what makes you human, after all.

But, you should also ensure that you learn how to balance them through taking care of yourself and seeking help when you need it.

[Read: Emotional wellness: The road map to live your life with intention]

Emotions shouldn’t be frowned upon as it just means you’re human and capable of feeling something. But if you ask yourself, “why am I so emotional?” you need to assess any deeper causes.

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Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...