Let’s be honest. Crushes are amazing! You jump out of bed because you’re so excited, you get dressed keeping them in mind, and you go about your day wondering when you’re going to bump into them again. You don’t care about how to get over a crush when you start crushing on someone. All you care about is just how soon you can see them again!
It feels great when you feel that first flutter of excitement when someone walks into a room. That’s exactly what infatuation feels like, and it’s the best feeling in the world.
But when you do eventually decide to give up on it and want to know how to get over a crush, well, that’s when everything starts to go downhill. Food doesn’t taste as good anymore. Life isn’t worth living again. You feel like a philosopher and a poet. You feel like crap. And every day, it’s just torture until you finally get over them.
[Read: How to know if you’re lovesick and 20 ways to get out of it]
If you want to know how to get over a crush, that’s perfectly fine, because we’ll tell you exactly how to do that and feel happy again in no time.
But let’s backtrack for just a minute here. What happened really? Where did you go wrong? Do they even know you have a crush on them? Did they reject you? Why did you give up? I hope you have all these answers before deciding on giving up. Don’t ever just back out of letting someone know you like them, assuming they don’t like you back.
We’ll get to all these questions first, before we get to the ways to get over a crush. After all, it’s important to want to give up on a crush. But you need to make sure you’re doing it for all the right reasons. [Read: How to lose feelings for someone and let go of the might-have-beens]
Crushes are a rollercoaster. For a few moments, it can make you float on cloud nine. But for the rest of the time, it can haunt you and torment you, especially if you let the crush build up over time.
Almost always, a crush can make your life miserable and bring it to a standstill. It’s enjoyable and exciting for a few weeks. But a long term crush will bring more nervousness and pain, than happiness. And the worst part, a serious crush can also strip you off your confidence and self respect.
So here’s something you need to always remember, even if can’t help you right now, but can only help you in future.
Always make your intentions clear, as soon as possible, the next time you have a crush on someone. The longer you wait, the harder it feels to approach them because you’ve built it up so much in your head. Eventually, it’ll feel impossible to even think of expressing your feelings for them.
If you’re talking to them already, here are all the real secrets to talk to your crush and make them fall for you.
If you haven’t made the move on your crush yet, try the steps in the links above. They’re really effective, and chances are, you’ll be glad you gave things a real try before giving up.
If you’ve decided to give up on a crush, you obviously want to know the timeline. How soon can you forget your crush? How soon can you feel normal again? Can you ever get over this person?
The truth is, yes, you will get over your crush. You will forget them soon enough. But how long does it take? Most studies say it takes an average of four months to get over a crush.
That’s just 12 weeks. And it may seem like a long time, but if you use the steps we’ve mentioned here, you WILL be able to get over your crush much faster, maybe even in a few weeks!
There will be some days when you miss them more, and other days when you don’t care for them. But all said and done, you will forget them sooner than you think. [Read: How to get someone off your mind – The 3 stages and steps to master getting over someone]
But before we get to the steps on how to get over a crush, there are a few things you MUST know before giving up on a crush. So let’s get real and ask ourselves these three tough questions.
So, yes, you have a crush on someone, and now you want to get over them. But does your crush actually know you have feelings for them? Do they know you want to date them?
All of us have crushes all the time. If we didn’t have crushes, we would never fall in love. Or get into a relationship! So having a crush on someone is never bad, it’s one of the most natural parts of being human. *unless there’s a moral reason why you shouldn’t be having that crush in the first place!*
Don’t give up on your crush unless you’ve made your intentions clear in some way, and you know for sure that they aren’t interested back in you. If you haven’t tried to get their attention so far, use this guide on how to get your crush to notice you and like you before you even talk to them. What have you got to lose by getting your crush to notice you before you give up?
This is always the part everyone dreads when it comes to a crush. You like them, but you’re afraid of telling them you like them. Why? You fear rejection. You’re worried that if you feel rejected, you’ll have no hope ever. But honestly, you hiding your feelings from them leaves you with no hope either.
It’s just easier to hide your feelings. But if you want to succeed, in anything at all, you need to take that plunge. I can assure you, you will feel a lot better after confessing your feelings to your crush. If you don’t know where to start, use these 20 low-risk ways to tell your crush you like them in the subtlest ways possible.
Asking your crush out is scary. But if you haven’t asked them out yet, it’s time you give it a try. What have you got to lose? You’re not dating them now. If you don’t confess, you’ll never date them anyway! And hiding your feelings makes you a martyr.
You can’t just wait for them to read your mind and feel the same way about you.
Ask them out, but do it subtly. Warm them up to the idea, and see where it goes. Use this guide on how to get over your fear and ask your crush out for all the steps you need, if you haven’t asked them out already.
Okay, so for whatever reasons that are best known to you, you want to learn how to get over a crush in the fastest ways possible. As long as you’ve given pursuing your crush a real try, giving up is completely fine.
After all, every single time you work your courage to share how you feel about someone, you’re only going to become a much better version of yourself! *we’ll talk about that right at the end of this feature, where we’ll discuss the lessons you can learn from a crush heartbreak*
For now, let’s talk about getting over this painful crush.
It feels so much like it, but it’s not. Most people assume that they’re in love with their crush. But it’s not love. Really, it’s not. It won’t be love even if your crush likes you back and starts to date you. [Read: A Crush vs Love and how you can tell the difference between them]
Crushes, just like love, always starts with infatuation. And when you have a crush on someone, big chances are, you’re just madly infatuated by them and nothing more. The pain you’re feeling right now? That’s the pain of rejection, or unreciprocated infatuation. But honestly, sometimes, giving up on a crush can feel even worse than giving up on love!
No matter what your age, you’re definitely going to get a crush on many more people in your life. If you interact with new interesting people, you may even have a new crush every week.
And guess what, people in relationships get crushes too!
A crush is nothing but an appreciation of beauty or certain traits that you admire in someone else, especially the gender you’re attracted to. So you can see that getting a crush on someone is easy. But getting over a crush, well, that’s a whole new story. [Read: 16 psychological facts about crushes to decode what you’re really feeling]
For some people, getting over a crush is easy. They like someone, and then they forget all about it. This happens because they don’t give their crushes as much importance or thought.
But for many people, a crush is more serious and anxiety-inducing. You may like someone and see them now and then. And each time you see them, you start to like them a little more. [Read: The mere exposure effect and how you like someone more when you see them often]
If you’re one of those people that have a crush on someone and it actually feels like true love, and now you want to get over it, it’s painful and hard. But it’s fixable too! Give these steps a try, and you WILL get over your crush sooner than you can imagine.
Yes, you now have a crush. It’s not the end of the world. It’s probably the chance for something wonderful. But if it doesn’t work out, that’s okay. You found someone interesting, and that’s a good thing. You’re better off than so many people who are lonely and don’t find anyone interesting.
If you don’t think this crush is going to turn into a few dates or more, accept that. And realize that if you can get a crush on someone, you can always get a crush on someone else again. It’s just a matter of time. [Read: What does it mean when you dream about your crush? 14 explanations to decode your dreams]
When you have a crush on someone, it’s inevitable that you’ll fantasize about them and imagine scenarios where you’re both hanging out together. That’s completely fine. But try to avoid fantasizing and building long term stories in your mind. You don’t want to imagine getting married to them or having babies together. Try to bring yourself back to reality every time you mind wanders too far into the future.
Imagine scenarios in your mind if you must, but try to keep it very real. Focus on talking to them, or asking them out. Nothing more.
The most painful of crushes are the ones that are never spoken about. If you want the crush to wane away, brave yourself up and strike a conversation with your crush. When you start talking to your crush, you may start to realize that your crush isn’t such a fine catch anyway! [Read: How to start a conversation with your crush in a way you find most comfortable]
If your crush shows interest in dating you, it’s even better. If they decline, you can force yourself to move on. Crushes are little fantasies that we create in our head to make ourselves happy. When you do ask a crush out, you’ll be forced to face reality and ask yourself if you really do want to date them after all.
A crush is your way of appreciating someone. If they aren’t interested, that’s okay. Honestly, it’s not like they’re the only person in the world with those traits. To start with, don’t go looking for a new crush just yet.
Instead, scroll through your Instagram explore page and drool over hotties that catch your eye. Force yourself to appreciate beauty when you see it.
At first, you may feel weird about this. But soon enough, you’ll realize that even staring at other attractive people can make you happier. How does this work? You trick your mind into realizing that there’s plenty of fish in the sea!
Sometimes, an addiction can be overcome when you fill yourself up to the brim and feel sick about it. It’s like getting drunk and suffering a hangover the next morning.
Don’t bottle your feelings up and assume they’ll go away. Sometimes, they’ll just secretly grow inside of you.
Instead, talk about it like it’s a funny and trivial affair so you start to treat it like it’s nothing more than a little, harmless crush. When you joke about it with your friends, your mind would trick itself into believing it’s a small crush, and not some forlorn love story. [Read: How to stop having a crush on someone and find your heart again]
Talk about your crush with your friends, but don’t think of this person when you’re alone. Spending hours fantasizing about your hopeless romance will take you nowhere.
If you find yourself getting distracted by thoughts of your crush, occupy yourself with a good game or a new Netflix series. [Read: The best ways to stop thinking about someone you really like]
End the mystery of the scary “what might have been”. Do something about your crush. Confess, get an answer and move on. Unless you deal with your big crush in some manner, you’ll always have a crush and a big what-if.
End it by confessing, or getting over it. You’ll feel so much better for the rest of your life. If you don’t, many years later, you’ll still find yourself spending several minutes now and then wondering “what if…” and “why didn’t I take a chance…”
If you have a crush on someone and you’re having a hard time getting over it, let the word get out that you like this person. If you don’t have the confidence to ask them out directly, ask a friend to drop the word to a mutual friend, and see how your crush reacts. As with everything in life, sometimes, hearing the truth from the horse’s mouth is always the best solution. [Read: How to act cool in front of your crush and grab their full attention]
Get a crush on someone else. You have to remember that crushes are nothing but temporary moments of mad infatuation. Just start finding someone else attractive and desirable and you’ll completely overcome your earlier crush. [Read: How a rebound relationship can be good for you]
Anyone with a bit of experience with getting over crushes will tell you that the easiest way to get over a crush is to get a new crush on someone else. Pretty soon, you’ll just get over any crush you have, whenever you want to.
The important thing here is to treat crushes as what they are. Harmless moments of appreciation. If you don’t want to turn a crush into one-sided love, it’s important that you see it for what it is, without turning it into something more. [Read: 15 very effective rules to forget someone you once cared a lot about]
When it comes to understanding how to get over a crush, this is the annoying part. You know you will eventually get over this person, maybe in a few months or even faster, if you pay attention to these steps.
But unless you accept that you have to move on, you won’t. So accept that this will take some time, and the wait can seem annoying and frustrating. But as long as you convince yourself that you will get over them, you will!
This is something that always helps when you want to get over a crush. Take a good look at them, or stare at one of their photos. And make a list of all the things about them that you find less-than-appealing. Yes, they’re perfect in every way. And that’s why you have a crush on them!
But if you look deeper at their behavior, maybe you’d see that they take people for granted, they’re mean, they use people, or something else. Everyone has bad traits, so all you have to do is focus on what makes your perfect crush, bad. [Read: How to not get attached to someone who will never be good for you]
Now that you’ve listed out the bad traits of your crush, could you really be happy dating someone like that, over the long term? When you genuinely test both your compatibilities and are convinced that you can’t really date this person in reality, you’ll realize that this person you like is just a little crush who is of no importance in your real life.
You need to stop treating them like they’re unattainable or so perfect.
You may not realize this today, but a few years down the road, when you’re dating someone far better, you’d look back and shudder at the thought that you were obsessing over someone like your crush who’s actually not such a good human, after all!
Social media is so much fun! You can sit behind your screen and find out everything about your crush in no time. All the way from their special days, their daily lifestyle, their vacations, likes and dislikes, hangouts, and everything else. But as exciting as it is to learn all this information about them, how does it help you?
What starts as a harmless, fun crush would turn into something more obsessive over time. Your desire to know more about their lives, especially when they don’t even know you’re tracking their every move only, is creepy and just a bit pathetic. You know this. So stop it.
If you want to get over your crush, start by getting them out of your social media feeds. [Read: Obsessive love and 15 signs to know if what you’re doing is unhealthy]
Start flirting with someone else, in person or online. You don’t have to sleep with them. You just need to start feeling excited about talking to someone else other than your crush. Honestly, you’ll almost always forget about your crush as soon as you start having a good time with someone else.
Would your crush like the new dress you’re picking up? Would your crush like your new hairstyle or your outfit the next time you bump into them?
Seriously, stop obsessing about your crush and revolving your world around their likes and dislikes. You don’t need to worship your crush when you’re trying to get them out of your life.
If you’re making plans or life decisions based on your crush’s lifestyle, you’re overstepping the line and crossing into dangerous territory. It’s really time you stop caring so much about them, and love yourself instead. [Read: How to stop loving someone else… and love yourself more]
You don’t have to use someone else! But try to make eye contact with someone else. Create little moments that excite you and make butterflies flit in your stomach. You don’t need to fall in love with them, or even date them. Just keep it harmless and flirty, from a distance.
They only need to give you the attention you need and crave so badly right now, because you’re at a low point. When you find this new person exchanging glances with you, you’ll think better about yourself, feel more confident and get over your crush too. [Read: 10 subtle eye contact moves that’ll make anyone want to lock eyes]
Can you be friends with your crush? Is it worth it? Now, if your crush is a good person, and you two can put the awkward crush part in the past, it’s not so bad to stay friends. After all, their friendship is not a consolation prize.
But if the only reason you got close to them or wanted to hang out with them is to date them, now is a good time to back away completely. Don’t stay friends with someone in the hope of hooking up in future. Stay friends with them only if they add value and meaning to your life.
Sometimes, a crush could start out harmless. And before you know it, you’re crushing on them for several years. And feeling miserable every single day.
If you’ve made the mistake of idolizing your crush and made yourself feel like your crush is unattainable, you may need a lot more help. If this is something you’re going through, maybe the best thing you can do is find a therapist who can work with you, and guide you towards recovery, one slow step at a time. [Read: 15 obsessive signs of limerence that are easily mistaken for love]
This is the worst thing you can do to yourself when you have a failed crush. Just because someone rejected you *for whatever reason*, it doesn’t have to mean there’s something wrong with you.
Maybe they have a crush on someone else, maybe they’re dating someone else, perhaps you caught them off guard or at a wrong time.
All it means is that your crush doesn’t like you back. It doesn’t mean anything else.
Let’s look at it this way. If someone had a crush on you, but you don’t like them back, does it mean they’re a shitty person? You probably felt they weren’t right for you. It doesn’t make you think lowly of them, nor does it mean they’re ugly or boring. So why should you feel that way when you’re the one being rejected? [Read: How to feel good about yourself and kick ass in all aspects of life]
This is the final step you need to remember when you’re trying to understand how to get over a crush. So where do YOU think you went wrong?
Did you hide your feelings for too long? [Read: How to stop being shy around your crush and get their full attention]
Did you approach this person the wrong way?
Did you not spend enough time building the sexual chemistry before you revealed that you have a crush on them?
Did your crush reject your advances because they weren’t interested?
[Read: 33 signs you’re unattractive and all the ugly fixes to make you way hotter]
Now that you’re on the verge of getting over your crush, its time to reflect and ask yourself what you can change the next time around? All of us get crushes, and crushes are what turn into love. But just because you’ve been rejected by someone once doesn’t mean it will happen again.
If you want to make sure your crush turns into something more the next time, ask yourself the tough questions, and work on fixing those parts of yourself.
Every single time you approach someone, you’re only becoming a better version of yourself. So don’t hate yourself for crushing on someone. Love it, and feel happy about it, because every single crush that doesn’t turn into love, only makes you a much, much better person. And a much better catch as well! [Read: Attraction theory and what actually makes you desirable in someone’s eyes]
And eventually, you may meet someone who is an amazing partner in every way. And you’ll look back then, and realize that had you not learned those hard lessons by having crushes on people, you’d always look at the person in your arms and assume they are out of your league!
Always remember this. Crushes are a good thing. And rejections teach you the tough lessons no one else can teach you.
[Read: Do you think your crush likes you back? 15 things you MUST do immediately]
So if you’re wondering how to get over a crush, remember these key steps. You’ll definitely feel a lot better about yourself, and become a better version of yourself. And the next time you get a crush on someone else, you’ll learn to enjoy it instead of regretting it!
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