Crushing on a friend is the worst, especially when you know the feelings are not reciprocated. When they are, things are great. You know each other, you have a bond, and the relationship prospers. But that’s not why you’re here, you’re here to learn how to get over a crush on a friend.
Sorry to give you that image. Maybe your friend is in a relationship or isn’t interested in anything more than a platonic friendship.
Having a crush on a friend
When you have a crush on a friend, it feels like more than just a crush. This isn’t some guy or girl that delivers your mail or takes your coffee order. This is someone you actually know.
It feels like the connection is so intense because it probably isn’t just physical. But, that does not mean you will be pining away forever. Crushes are just that: crushes. They may feel strong and never-ending, but you can get over a crush on a friend.
You just need focus and time. [Read: 12 simple things you do to make your life much worse]
How to get over a crush on a friend
As I said, getting over a crush on a friend is definitely harder than getting over a crush on a complete stranger. You are around this person a lot. You probably share mutual friends and seeing each other usually makes a crush grow.
To get over a crush on a friend, you may have to make some changes to your friendship. Now, remember these are only temporary, and once you have gotten over your crush you can go back to how things were before these dreaded feelings.
#1 Do open your eyes. This person isn’t some random stranger you have been fantasizing about. This is someone you know relatively well. So, you probably know their best qualities as well as their worst ones. A crush can cloud your judgment so remind yourself of the reasons this wouldn’t work out.
Do they travel a lot for work? Do they have cats and you’re allergic? Are they into monogamy and you’re more free-spirited? Facts and rationality can push a crush away. [Read: Friend to lover – What you really need to know]
#2 Don’t wait for them to see it. Something we often do when we have a crush on a friend is secretly hope they will notice. We pine for them and throw out subtle signs, but never let those words pass your lips.
You will never move on if you are just waiting for them to find out on their own.
#3 Do talk to a trusted friend. Talk to a sibling, a parent, or someone you know you can trust to vent. Bottling everything up will only make the crush feel worse. You don’t want this crush to overrun your whole life.
Let some of that grief out by confiding in a close friend. [Read: How to surround yourself with positive people]
#4 Don’t act like everything is normal. It is not. Going about seeing this friend as if everything is just fine and dandy is not benefiting anyone. This is what you’ve been doing thus far and nothing has changed for you.
If you keep acting like your crush doesn’t exist you are denying how you feel. It may not look like you have a crush, but if you feel it, that is what matters.
#5 Do take some time. This can be the hard part. You have a crush on this friend and want to see them, but seeing them likely makes you like them more and can even make your crush stronger. Instead of letting these feelings fester every time you are together, take some time away.
Sort of a like a break from the friendship. You don’t have to ghost them or tell them you’ll be silent. Just be a little MIA. It can take anywhere from a few days to weeks to notice those feelings fading. [Read: How to ask a friend out without risking the friendship]
#6 Don’t find someone else now. Yes, a crush is just a crush, but if it is affecting you enough to be reading this feature, it is strong enough for you to slow down. We have all heard the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else, that is not true.
All that does it take your mind off of it for a little while and likely will hurt your rebound. Instead, occupy your time with something more productive.
#7 Do avoid social media. While trying to figure how to get over a crush on a friend, staying away for a while is one thing, but watching their Instagram stories and their Snapchat location will not do you any good. All it does is feed that crush and make your feelings seem even stronger.
A break from social media can do us all some good. But when you have a crush on someone you want to get over, it is the best time to cut down on the screen time.
#8 Don’t get jealous. If you want to get over a crush on a friend because they are interested in someone else or in a relationship try not to let yourself get jealous. Yes, maybe you knew them first or you think you are there for them more, but it is their choice.
If you cherish their friendship, you will respect that. Being a little bitter is normal, but try to let go of that. [Read: Sneaky ways to brainwash your friend and get them to like you]
#9 Do appreciate your friendship. This is so important. The whole reason to get go about learning how to get over a crush on a friend is to maintain the friendship. You don’t want to mess things up or make them complicated or risk your friendship.
So make a list of all the reasons you love having this person as a friend and focus on that. The whole point of getting over them is to keep this friend.
#10 Don’t overthink. I know this is nearly impossible. As an avid overthinker myself, I know it is not easy. But the more you think about your crush, fantasize, or even cry ,the more power you’re giving to it. [Read: How to stop overthinking and find more peace]
#11 Do keep busy. What is the best way not to overthink? Stay busy. Ask for more responsibility at work. Start a new hobby or project.
Doing something other than scrolling through your crush’s Instagram feed will benefit you in more ways than one.
#12 Don’t tell everyone. Remember when I said to confide in someone you trust? That is because you probably don’t want your friend to find out. I am not for lying, but if you decided it was best to get over this crush on a friend, hold yourself to that.
Do not go telling everyone in your friend group how you feel. Don’t talk crap about your crush’s significant other. Keep your private feelings safe. You don’t want to be the source of gossip. [Read: Love your best friend? Here’s why you need to back away right now]
#13 Do mourn. This may only be a crush, but you deserve to mourn the feelings and the potential of more. Eat a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and watch Legally Blonde in bed.
Stay in your PJs all day and just be sad that your feelings weren’t reciprocated. But one day is the cut off for a crush. After letting all the tears out, get back to your life.
#14 Don’t rush it. Just like anything, a crush takes time to get over. It will not happen overnight. I can’t tell you if it will be a week or months or a year. But soon enough you will realize that you haven’t thought about them all day or even for multiple days.
Slowly those days without them on your mind will spread, and you’ll get over your crush on a friend without even realizing it. [Read: 13 stages of trying to get over someone who doesn’t like you]
#15 Do tell them how you feel. If you are all out of options this may be your last best chance. If you have tried everything and just cannot let go of this crush on a friend, tell them. Sure, it could work out and you can skip happily into the sunset, but if not, you can start to move on. [Read: 13 friend zone hacks to get your friend to like you more]
Once you get closure or even just an answer or the satisfaction of knowing you told them, you can begin to let go. It won’t eat away at you, and you won’t wonder what would have happened if you said something. Sure, it is a risk, but if it feels like it is worth it, do it.
Things might be awkward between you for a while, but if your friendship was worth all this trouble, it will prevail.
[Read: How to be friends with someone you like without losing your mind]
I hope these do’s and don’ts of how to get over a crush on a friend work wonders for your most recent crush. Now, go ahead and move on to someone new.
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