Ghosting is something that’s rather new to the world these days. If you want to know what it is and how to get away with ghosting someone, here it is.
Sometimes you just need to be able to get away clean. You can’t always explain why you don’t want to see someone anymore and that leaves you struggling with what to do. Ghosting someone is the clear option in this situation. However, it isn’t as easy as ignoring a few texts.
There’s actually a lot more to ghosting than you may realize. Sure, you can just stop responding to someone and maybe they’ll get the hint. But that’s usually not the case. There are different things you have to do in order to get away clean.
What is ghosting
For those of you who aren’t familiar, ghosting is a method of cutting off communication with someone. Usually, it’s someone you went on a date or two with and things just didn’t work out. You don’t reply to their texts, you delete them off all social media, and you basically become a “ghost” to them. [Read: What is ghosting and how does it affect you?]
Why someone might need to ghost
I know ghosting someone has a bad reputation. People may call them cowards or disrespectful, but the reality may be much different.
Sometimes there are people who refuse to accept that the other wants to leave. There are also people who accept the “break up” but still won’t leave the person alone. That’s where the method of ghosting comes in. [Read: 10 scenarios when ghosting a friend is okay]
Ghosting someone – How to do it and actually get away clean
It takes a lot of skill to pull off ghosting someone without creating a fuss. In order to get away clean, there are definitely steps you must take first. This is everything you should do when ghosting someone in order to do it right.
#1 Confirm that you 100% never want that person in your life. You can never come back from ghosting. It’s true! If you want to ghost this person, then you have to be completely certain you want nothing to do with them.
Think about it long and hard and be sure before you even start with this list. Even if you apologize, nothing will ever be the same. So picture your life without them, and accept how it will be. [Read: Signs you’re not ready to be dating]
#2 Do it slowly. I know ghosting is typically known as something you do all or nothing, but that’s not very wise. If you just stop talking completely and shut down, people get anxious, nervous, and start worrying. That’s why you have to work up to ghosting someone.
#3 Start distancing yourself from them. When you talk to them, hold back on details. Stop asking questions. Just create a distance between the two of you. This makes it much easier for you to ghost and it also makes it easier for them to accept.
When they feel like something is off, they’re more likely to understand the ghosting. This makes it much easier for you to get away clean because they won’t really have a leg to stand on. They might even understand why you did it.
#4 Stop responding to one thing at a time. The thing about cutting it off cold turkey is that it makes people angry. The best way is to ease into it by ignoring them on certain platforms first. Not responding to their tags on Instagram or Facebook first is a great way to start.
#5 Don’t give in, ever. If you give them so much as a hint that you’re still responsive, it’s all over. Once you decide that you’re officially in “ghosting” mode, don’t respond. No matter how many times they try to reach you, ignore it.
This can sometimes be hard because ghosting someone hurts them. They may come to you upset and they might want to fix things. Hold firm if you want to actually get rid of them.
#6 Delete them off social media. This is a must. You may even have to block them. The best time to do this is after you’ve been silent on social media for a while and you’ve begun distancing yourself. If they notice that you’ve deleted them, it might cause a stir. So be careful.
#7 Prepare for some backlash of some kind. The truth is, ghosting someone isn’t nice at all. It’ll make people upset. They’ll want to know what they did wrong and sometimes they’ll stop at nothing to get answers. So be prepared.[Read: Prepare for these 10 consequences of ghosting]
The types of people you just can’t ghost
Believe it or not, there are actually certain people you really just can’t ghost. Sometimes they’re too forward or they can become mildly crazy. They will keep hounding you until you answer. These are the types of people to avoid ghosting. [Read: All the signs of a possessive lover]
#1 The possessive type. If you were seeing someone and they were the possessive type, ghosting them might be difficult. They’re usually the jealous kind of person that will be suspicious right when you start distancing yourself.
#2 Someone you were serious with. If you think you can just ghost someone you were in a long-term, serious relationship with, you’re crazy. There’s no way you’ll get away with it. This person knows you well. They even know your family. And the bottom line is that they deserve the respect of you ending things with a conversation instead of just disappearing.
#3 Someone who has mutual friends with you. To be honest, this is just nearly impossible and that’s why you can’t ghost them. If they know your friends and can talk to them about it, you’re screwed. Other people will start questioning you about why you’re not talking to them and it can get pretty messy.
No matter how you end things with someone you have mutual friends with, it’ll always be weird. You have to figure out how to do it in a way that doesn’t make your other friendships uncomfortable.
#4 Someone with a short temper. This is a bad idea for obvious reasons. If someone has a short temper and doesn’t hear from you, they might flip their lid. You don’t really want to be on the receiving end of a short-tempered outburst. [Read: 10 simple ways to deal with angry, difficult people]
#5 The highly confrontational type. If the person you want to ghost is someone who has a habit of getting into arguments with people, don’t do it. When they’re highly confrontational, they’ll get really angry you’re ghosting them.
The best thing to do with this type is to keep your reasons short and sweet and then leave. At least that way you got the words out and won’t have to talk to them again.