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How to Stop Caring About Someone: 23 Ways To Move on From The Pain

We fall for someone, only to end in heartbreak in an instant. It hurts, but it happens. Keep reading if you want to know how to stop caring about someone.

how to stop caring about someone

For one reason or another, they’ve decided that you’re not a great match and there you lay, covered in blankets and clutching your favorite tub of ice cream, wondering how to stop caring about someone you love. When you’re going through a breakup, it can feel like your world is over.

They were once the person you ran to for everything and now, you can barely count on them. This kind of heartbreak can hurt like a b*tch, but it’s only a temporary pain. [Read: How to get through a breakup: 30 ways to get you back on track]

Even if it feels practically impossible to move on from them,  you’re eventually going to stop missing them one day. It’ll take time, constant effort, and a lot of support, but it’s definitely possible.

Why some relationships end – even when things seem perfect

You can’t always predict a breakup. Sure, there can be signs that your significant other is gearing up to call it quits, but not always. The worst part of a breakup is the unexpected turn of events. You never really think the worst is going to happen – until your fears become your reality.

However, as sh*tty as this feeling is, you can’t prevent this from happening. Relationships end, and it’s all part of life. You may think your relationship is amazing and you’re really happy. But often, your happiness may be clouding your perception of how your significant other is feeling.

You may be happy, but they may be seeing many issues in the relationship, or they could be changing their feelings. [Read: 12 real reasons couples drift apart over time]

Why should you learn how to stop caring about someone you love?

If you don’t learn how to move on and stop missing them, you’ll be hung over them for a really time. Regardless of who did the breaking up, learning how to stop caring about someone allows you to process your feelings of hurt and pain. You need to learn this if you want to keep moving forward with your life.

I know, I know – it sounds impossible to do. They were such a significant part of your life, and now, they’re gone and you’ve reverted to strangers *with memories.*

By learning to stop caring, you’re doing yourself a favor to accept that the relationship had to end and to let yourself stop missing them entirely. You’ll still miss them, but the pain won’t be as all-consuming and painful any longer. [Read: How to stop loving someone & read the signs it’s time to walk away]

How to stop caring about someone you once loved

Can you ever really stop caring about them altogether? Probably not. They were a massive part of your life for a long time. However, you can learn to live without them and adjust to your new reality. It’s going to hurt for a bit until you heal from the breakup and realize exactly why it had to happen.

You can never completely shut off your feelings as emotions are what make us human. You can, on the other hand, deal with the loss better. If you’re going through a breakup or want to stop caring about someone you know you can never be with, these tips will help. [Read: How to stop thinking about someone you still like]

1. Accept what is

You can’t control everything. Things are going to happen whether you want them to or not. If someone walked out the door without looking back, let them. Ultimately, life isn’t a movie, and you can’t change their minds by chasing them or loving them harder.

As much as that’s the ideal, that’s not how life works. In learning how to stop caring about someone, respect how they feel, and focus on starting fresh.

2. Vent to your friends

As normal as it is to seek isolation after a breakup, let yourself be around your friends. They’ll not only make you feel better about the breakup, but they can offer helpful pieces of advice. Don’t just shut yourself off from the world. Talk to your friends and discuss how you’re feeling.

It’s also not very helpful to shut off your feelings entirely and numb yourself. It can work temporarily, but eventually, all your bottled emotions will burst. [Read: How to know if your friend is being a good friend]

3. Think about their flaws

It’s really funny how a breakup can blind our perspective entirely and only remember the good things about them. It takes two for a breakup to occur, so if you focus on the good traits, remember they also have significant bad characteristics.

Remembering the worst about someone can help you realize that maybe they weren’t so great after all. Perhaps it’s how they never had time for you, or they never hung out with your friends. Look back on your relationship and let yourself see their flaws.

4. Think realistically about how you were together

You were happy. And you liked them a ton. But does that mean you were genuinely great together? Did you have the same morals and values? Were they someone you could build a future with? These are all valid thoughts and questions to have in learning how to stop caring about them.

If the answer to these was no, then maybe you weren’t so compatible after all. Remember, love is a powerful emotion, but sometimes it just isn’t enough. [Read: 18 critical signs your relationship was unhealthy]

5. Get your friends’ opinions

Your friends can look at your situation without bias. You can’t. Therefore, you should always ask them what they think and how they can help. In relation to the second point mentioned earlier, this is also why you need to be around your friends.

Don’t shut them off when dealing with heartbreak, no matter how easy it is to do so. Your friends can give you the proper perspective that you’re too blind to see.

6. Delete everything of theirs on social media

Get rid of any pictures with them and delete them as a friend. You can’t possibly learn how to stop caring about someone you once loved when their face keeps popping up everywhere.

This means absolutely no stalking them, their friends, or anything related to them online. It might sound harsh, but muting or unfollowing them will do you some good, then do it!

7. Get rid of their number

Yes, you also have to delete their number. Having access to contacting them is a huge no-no. Otherwise, you’re prone to drunk-calling them when you miss them or just texting them whenever you feel lonely or bored.

Things are over between you two, and this means deleting any contact you have left of them. You won’t be needing it any longer, so why hold on to it in the first place? [Read: 7 resolute ways to resist the urge to call your ex]

8. Redirect your thoughts about them

This won’t be easy, but if you can do it, you’ll be able to stop caring about them with more ease. Whenever your thoughts are consumed with missing them and reminiscing the relationship you once had, shift your thoughts to another direction.

It takes a lot of self-awareness and discipline to master this, but you cannot ever dwell on your thoughts. That is if you really want to know how to stop caring about someone. Start thinking about something random or even sing a song in your head. This will, after a while, train your mind to bypass thoughts of them.

9. Put away anything they’ve ever given you

I know you’re probably really attached to their old t-shirt, or you love seeing the photo of the two of you on your nightstand, but you need to get rid of them.

Seeing those reminders will only make things worse. Being sentimental about everything they’ve given you is normal, but it’s best to put them away to be able to move forward completely.

10. Stay distracted by having fun

If you want to know how to stop caring about someone you once loved, you have to master the art of being distracted. We’re not referring to unhealthy distractions like drugs or alcohol *stay away from those!*

We’re talking about hanging out with your friends or not realizing you haven’t had a single thought about them because you were too caught up with work. When those thoughts disappear, so do your feelings – well, eventually. [Read: How to have fun and feel awesome post breakup]

11. Allow yourself to feel sad sometimes

It’s okay to feel sad about the relationship. It’s okay to miss that person. Let yourself feel your emotions, and only then can you move on from the person who hurt you.

To move past those feelings, you first have to let yourself feel them. Even if it’s the hardest thing to sit with your sadness, it’s all part of the moving on process.

12. Get some new hobbies

Just like going out with your friends can serve as a distraction from your feelings, so can hobbies. Join a bowling league or a volleyball team. Remember that dance class you’ve always wanted to attend? This is your chance to broaden your horizons and try something new.

13. Keep yourself open to new opportunities – and people

If you want to learn how to stop caring about someone, you have to open yourself. We’re not saying date the next person you see and be in a relationship – nothing that crazy. We’re saying that you need to open yourself to more opportunities in life as the possibilities are endless.

You never know when someone special can walk into your life. But if you’re too distracted with thinking about the person who doesn’t want you, you’ll never see them. You don’t have to commit immediately to the next person, but you never know where life will take you, right? [Read: How to meet new people and find a new crowd]

14. Remember that you deserve to be happy

You deserve happiness, and you deserve someone who cares about you the same way you care about them. Learning how to stop caring about someone all comes down to prioritizing your happiness.

Contrary to popular belief, happiness isn’t a destination but a choice. You need to know you deserve happiness and go on and chase it. [Read: How to get over someone you care about by hating them]

15. Be patient

This isn’t something that happens overnight. You can’t just get over someone with the flip of a switch. It’ll take a lot of time and effort. Patience is the key to moving on without them in your life. You can’t rush the process as it doesn’t work that way.

Be patient with yourself and with your progress. Eventually, you’ll realize that you don’t miss them as much anymore, and you’ve already moved on. [Read: How to let go of someone you love]

16. Put yourself first

The best kind of revenge is personal development. By focusing on yourself and putting yourself first, you’re distracting your heartbreak and pain just enough to forget about what hurts.

Whether it’s taking that job, fixing your resume, or signing up for a gym membership, focusing on yourself is the best way to stop caring about them entirely. [Read: How to improve yourself: 16 powerful secrets of self-improvement]

17. Hold on to the reasons why you shouldn’t care

Why do you want to stop caring? Is it your form of revenge to prove you won the breakup, or do you simply want to survive a life without them?

Often, holding on to those reasons can make it easier for you to stop caring. It won’t be as easy as pie, but it gives you a purpose on why you want to forget them. [Read: How to stop caring: 20 steps on how to not care & put yourself first]

18. Don’t date right away

You’ve seen this scenario in many dating movies *which is why you shouldn’t do it!* While a rebound can certainly help, you’ll end up projecting all your pain to the next person – and they don’t deserve to be on the receiving end of this.

If you plan on dating, you should’ve healed completely and stopped caring about them. It’s not wise to date during the moving on stage as it’ll be a disaster. [Read: What is a rebound relationship? 12 ways to know you’re in one]

19. Stop winning the breakup

No matter who broke up with who, you shouldn’t be so desperate to win the breakup. The fact that both of you have already lost each other, then there shouldn’t be anyone trying to win the breakup. Most importantly, it prevents you from moving on entirely as you’ll be so focused on being above them.

20. Moving on doesn’t mean hating them

There’s a vast difference between acceptance and anger. While anger generally comes before acceptance in any breakup, it’s not healthy to keep being angry at them.

Holding a grudge won’t benefit you in learning how to stop caring about someone. The more you direct all your energy in hating them, the more you’ll be hung over them. [Read: How to stop being angry: Free your mind and stop hurting yourself]

21. Realize everything happens for a reason

If you don’t understand why they had to end things or why it didn’t work between you, it might not make sense right now, but it eventually will. Realize that everything happens for a reason, and that reason will ultimately present itself to you in the most unexpected ways.

Maybe they were the wrong person for you, and the breakup was preparing you for something better. Perhaps you had chemistry but lacked in the compatibility department. Maybe you had to learn significant lessons from each other, which was why you had to cross paths.

22. Be spontaneous

This might sound unusual, but being spontaneous can help you learn how to stop caring about someone. When you’re spontaneous, you don’t find the need to plan every moment of your life.

You just go with whatever life gives you and say yes to the best opportunities. Go out, meet new people, go to different places, and most importantly, have the best time of your life *or at least try your best to.* [Read: 18 ways to become more spontaneous in life]

23. Don’t stay in contact with their friends

If you’re from the same friend group, this might be a tough one since you have the same set of friends. If you’re not, on the other hand, it’s best to get some space from their friends. This will be a constant remember of what you just lost, and it isn’t going to help you move on.

You can stay in touch with them only after you’ve completely healed from the breakup and you no longer wish to get together with them again.

So, how to stop caring about someone?

You stop caring about someone by doing all the 23 things mentioned above. It’s not going to be an easy process, but eventually, you’ll forget about them and move on to someone who deserves your love a whole lot better.

Learning how to stop caring about someone who once meant the world to you will take a lot of time. However, you’ll eventually look back on the relationship without any pain or anger in your heart. That’s when you know you’ve moved on.

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Bella Pope LovePanky
Annabel Rodgers
Annabel is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog,...