Overthinking makes people paranoid and prone to false assumptions in a relationship. That is why you must learn how to stop overthinking in a relationship.
Being in a relationship can make a person self-conscious in many ways. It can be understandable to some degree since people want their relationship to work out. But to achieve a healthy relationship, you must learn how to stop overthinking in a relationship.
The problem occurs when the mind goes wild. Overthinking and overanalyzing may be counterproductive when people start developing a false image of their partner, themselves, and the relationship itself. The anxiety and paranoid overthinking can lead to conflict. If left unchecked, may ultimately end the relationship. [Read: How to stop being insecure in a relationship and just be happy together]
How to stop overthinking in a relationship
As mentioned, overthinking makes people susceptible to false assumptions. It distorts the image of what the relationship is in reality. The overthinking partner may act in irrational ways causing conflict and undue emotional and mental stress for the other partner.
In addition, the habit of overthinking may harm the person’s other social connections. It makes working with others difficult and could also affect the overthinking person’s friends and family. For that reason, kicking the habit of overthinking will improve the quality of all relationships in your life.
#1 Learn how to communicate properly. Overthinking is often a symptom of a serious lack of communication in a relationship. When couples fail to express their thoughts and feelings towards the other, one will be left to constantly ponder and imagine what the other is thinking.
#2 Accept there will be things in the relationship beyond your control. Worrying about matters beyond human control is not only frustrating, but also takes a toll on a person’s sanity. It is better to accept that there will be aspects of the relationship you cannot change or influence.
Stop spending effort about things beyond your control. With acceptance comes personal growth and maturity in dealing with relationship and with the people around us as well. [Read: What it means to have a healthy relationship]
#3 Embrace the vulnerability of being in a relationship. Being vulnerable calls you to show all your insecurities, flaws, and secrets without the fear or worry of judgement. This can be difficult given we cultivate a better image to appear desirable in the eyes of our partner. However, having a relationship with your best foot forward can make people prone to overthink minor details about the relationship in order to preserve this self-image.
#4 Learn to accept things as you see it. People overthink when they try to decipher hidden meanings behind every word or action of their partner. As Occam’s Razor puts it, the simplest answer is oftentimes the best answer.
Your mind will be at peace if you put trust in your partner. Take whatever they say or do as it is. Because, sometimes, their actions and words are just what they exactly are. Seeing your partner’s every word or behavior like a National Treasure puzzle only causes mental stress and unhealthy suspicion.
#5 Do something creative or productive. When it comes to learning how to stop overthinking in a relationship, you need to know that people sometimes overanalyze if their mind finds itself idle. If that is the case, divert your destructive brain activity to do something productive or creative to prevent it from overthinking.
Being productive with ideas does not only serve as a welcome distraction from wayward thoughts, but may also help the person accomplish something with their free time. [Read: This is how you can learn to love yourself]
#6 Invest some time to develop your confidence and self-esteem. The tendency to overthink in a relationship is sometimes caused by a personal lack of self-esteem and low self-confidence. With such conditions, people give little value to their role in the relationship. They perceive themselves as an inadequate partner.
As a solution, people should always keep their self-confidence and self-esteem in check, so that they keep a realistic image of themselves in the relationship. If a person develops their confidence and self-esteem, they will be much more comfortable around their partner with little need to overanalyze every action. [Read: How self-respect affects you and your relationship]
#7 Talk to friends to get different perspectives on your current situation. Being alone in one’s thoughts can easily make a person short-sighted from the facts as they present themselves. In situations like these, a friend’s advice can help you put things into a different perspective. The more people you talk to, the more perspectives you get which can help dispel any preconceived ideas that lead to overthinking.
#8 Spend more quality time with your partner. Spending quality time gives both partners a means to get to know each other better. Thus, diminishing the impulse to overanalyze what one partner is thinking about the other.
This works the same as doing something productive and creative. Instead of doing things alone, you reap the benefit of sharing relationship-enriching experiences with the other person. It leaves little room for false assumptions. [Read: How to open up to people and welcome in life]
#9 Seek professional help for anxiety issues. There are times when constant overthinking is a symptom of a more serious psychological condition. If such behavior reaches a point of extreme discomfort or relationship troubles, it might be wise to approach a professional for psychological assessment and therapy.
Learning how to stop overthinking in a relationship will not only improve the quality of the relationship, but also allow people to grow as an individual. Start small with these suggestions, and soon, you’ll feel a lot more secure, about yourself and your relationship.
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Paul Timothy Mangay
Paul aka Morty is a keyboard-pounding cubicle-dweller based in Manila where he occasionally moonlights as a writer for anyone in need of his mediocre word-strin...