Before you read about how to get over unrequited love, you have to understand what unrequited love really is and how it starts in the first place.
You may think you’re experiencing unrequited love, but are you really?
In the introduction, you’ve read about how unrequited love isn’t your fault alone.
Almost always, you get sucked into unrequited love because the person you’re in love with either wants to use you or likes the attention.
But if you do understand that you’re suffering every day from a case of unrequited love, you need to make up your mind to get a grip on your own life and bring the happiness back into it.
How to get over unrequited love
You may want to get over unrequited love, but you have to remember that it’s a slow healing process that needs effort and determination.
Here are nine steps that you need to follow, and before long, you’d be able to tear yourself away from the web of unrequited love and regain your sanity.
Don’t stay around your crush
It doesn’t matter if your crush is using you for sex or flirting with you because they want to have a good time at your expense, learn to stay away from them. You can’t really let yourself fall into the clutches of unrequited love and blame someone else for it.
You’ve fallen in love with someone who wants to use you, and it’s up to you to walk away from it.
Now it’s definitely not easy, especially if you and your crush work in attached cubicles, or share the same office or campus. But as the famed adage goes, where there is a will, there is a way. [Read: Why you aren’t able to find love]
Don’t have long conversations
Sometimes, you may bump into your crush or find yourself in a circumstance where you’re obligated to sit together for a while. Talk to your crush in a friendly way, but never let the flirting games take control. It can feel so good when your crush lingers their palm on you or talks about how good you look in that dress.
Steer the conversation away from anything flirty or romantic. Remind yourself that this person is only toying with you and trying to make you fall more in love, just to have a good time. If your crush persists, you can open up and tell them the truth subtly.
“You know, I thought there can be nothing more than friends between us. So I don’t think it would be appropriate for you to be speaking this way with me… it’s all just very confusing, and I don’t think it’s right.”
Saying something like this line is subtle, it’s got a hint of a request and yet, it’s firm. Your crush may take offence, but rest assured, you’d feel like the most powerful person in the world at that moment!
Have more self respect
People who find themselves experiencing the pangs of unrequited love absolutely have no self respect. It’s true and you just have to accept it.
It hurts, but acknowledging it will help give you the strength to walk away. If you really did love and respect yourself, would you be throwing yourself at the feet of someone who doesn’t even treat you right?
Unrequited love can suck the confidence and happiness out of your life, but it takes little steps to bring it all back. Start believing in yourself and understand your real worth, and realize the fact that you’re a wonderful person who deserves someone a lot better. [Read: How to love yourself]
Realize how stupid you’ve been
When you’re in love, it’s alright to run errands and make a fool of yourself for your lover. But that’s completely unacceptable if you’re drowning in unrequited love. Your crush may have learnt to use you for their benefit all this while, but now it’s time to put your foot down. Don’t go out of your way to help your crush.
In fact, don’t even bother trying to help your crush in any way. Helping a crush in need may make your day, but it also makes you an idiot who doesn’t see the big picture where your crush is using you, ridiculing you, and laughing at you, behind your back.
Understand that there’s no happy ending here
Reading about how stupid and weak you’ve been may hurt you, but it’ll help you realize how wrong you’ve been to fall in love and stay in love with someone who will never ever love you back.
Your crush may smile at you and wink at you today, but if you want to know how to get over unrequited love, you need to remind yourself of the big picture. There is no happy ending in this kind of a one sided relationship. Your crush will always use you, and you’ll always stay used and loveless. As exciting as a smile may seem today, you have to remember that you’ll never really experience happiness as long as you’re sinking in unrequited love.
Don’t let your crush know you’re hurting
In a relationship, the one who loves less controls the emotions in the relationship. In unrequited love, you’re madly and hopelessly in love. And your crush couldn’t care less about you. Can you even guess who’s controlling this relationship?
When you try to get out of unrequited love, your crush may try harder to make you fall more in love. Your crush may sweet talk you, cuddle you or even ask you out in jest, but don’t fall for it. And never ever let your crush know that you’re hurting inside. By doing that, you’re letting your crush know that you’re still madly in love with them. And your crush would try to find all ways to try and use you up and pin you down in unrequited love. [Read: The best ways to get over a broken heart]
Meet more people and make new friends
If you want to get your mind off your crush, you need to learn to keep yourself occupied. Meet new friends or reconnect with old happy friends that you know can cheer you up. The less you think about your crush, the stronger you’d feel. Don’t lock yourself up at home in isolation. Go out with friends, shop a while or rent a few good movies, not the rom-coms, and have a good time all the time. It’ll help you move on and help you realize that you don’t need this person in your life to experience happiness. [Read: How to meet the one for you]
Create new happy experiences
To understand how to get over unrequited love, you need to fill your life with new, exciting experiences. Wake up listening to your favorite song, join a gym, start a few hobbies or take a little vacation with friends. When you’re in unrequited love, all your memories would revolve around just one person. Create new happy memories and replace all the sadness in your life with happy thoughts, one step at a time.
There’s no better way to get over a crush than by falling in love all over again. Open your dating diary and go out. Have fun, ask your friends to fix you on dates, or learn to wink at a hottie at a club. You don’t have to look for something serious immediately. You just need to understand the fact that there are so many people out there who would love to spend time with you. Why on earth would you want to be bottled up in unrequited love with someone who doesn’t even care about you when you can step out into a happy world where you’re loved, respected and most importantly, desired by so many people?
Go on out there with a mad, mad hope of finding happiness. And soon enough, you’ll know how to get over unrequited love and fill your life with happiness and love. And one day in the near future, you can look back at your old life and realize how pathetic you really were, once upon a long time ago!