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How to Stop Feeling Ignored by the One You Love

how to stop feeling ignored

Are you feeling miserable because the one you love is ignoring you? Understand this simple truth, and you’ll stop feeling hurt and ignored in no time!

There’s a simple difference between love and infatuation.

True love is like a big pot of water that’s been put to boil over a fire. It takes time to warm up, and once it’s warm, it stays warm for a long, long time.

And infatuation, on the other hand, is like a flash of water on a hot pan. It’s eye catchy, sizzles in a flash, creates a big scene, and vanishes before you know it!

If you actually want to stop feeling ignored by someone, you really need to understand this difference between love and infatuation.

And you need to realize that when you’re being ignored by someone you really like or love, you’re not dealing with love, but a state of infatuation *unless you’re talking about a long-term partner*.

You may truly be in love with this person, but if they ever showed any interest in you, it was probably only a state of infatuation for that person.

[Read: Is is infatuation or limerence? Understanding limerence better]

How to stop feeling ignored by someone you like

Are you being ignored by someone you really like? At the beginning, did it feel like this guy or girl really liked you, and seemed really interested in staying in touch with you? And now, are you the only one who’s feeling hurt because, for some reason you can’t comprehend, this person you care so much for, just doesn’t care about you at all?

Do they take several hours to respond to a text you sent them *even if they would respond almost immediately when they seemed interested in you before*? Let’s face it, this sucks, and worse, it’s just plain hurtful because you feel so helpless about it.

We’ve all been there, being ignored by someone we really cared for. And even if we talk about it with this person and try to understand why they’re drifting away so effortlessly, their lack of enthusiasm in having that conversation with you only leaves you teary eyed and humiliated. [Confession: I miss him so much but he doesn’t miss me at all!]

The question hurts more than the answer!

You know you’re being ignored already, and that’s a fact that you accept bitterly. But why are you fighting it? Your mind can’t seem to rest even after realizing that you’re being ignored, can it?

The truth is, more than anything else, you want to know why you’re being ignored. It eats you from within. You just can’t understand why this person stopped talking to you or chatting with you, and you want an answer.

It isn’t the fact that this person doesn’t care about you anymore that bothers you. In all probability, that hurtful truth has already sunk in and you’ve accepted it grudgingly. What really pricks you and leaves you tossing and turning in bed during those darkest hours of the night is WHY?! [Read: Why you should never make someone a priority when you’re only an option in their life!]

The truth – Why aren’t they making the effort if they care?

If someone really likes you, they’ll make the time and take the effort to stay in touch with you. Really, it’s that simple.

And however you look at it, or whatever excuses and reasons you try to conjure in your head, it all leads to the one simple idea that you’ve been trying to ignore all along. And that’s the fact that this person you like so much is ignoring you.

You can hate me for being blunt about it, but the sooner you admit it, the sooner you’re going to stop looking for silly excuses to defend this person’s behavior.

I admit, there could be a few scenarios where a person you really like *and they seem to have really liked you too* could be ignoring you because they have no choice. Perhaps, they’re already in another relationship, or maybe they’re moving away, or well, they’re suffering from a terminal illness and they don’t want to drag you down into a world of pain and misery. But really, the chances of that happening are very, very slim.

And even if there was a very good and genuine reason behind why they’re ignoring you, does it make a difference? At the end of the day, it’s all the same thing. They’re ignoring you. And you have to find a way to stop feeling miserable and move on because you’re being ignored by the one you love. [Read: The real reason behind why love hurts so much when it goes bad]

The reason won’t change your life

The first thing you need to do is leave the mess with whatever dignity you have left. After all, the harder you try to hold them close, the further they’re going to push you away. You know that already, don’t you?

Worse, they may even laugh and lie to your face! “What?! No, I’m not ignoring you! I’ve just been… aah… busy… you know…?!”

Can you feel any more foolish about it?

And the more you push them to answer why they’re ignoring you, the more lighthearted or hurtful their answers would get, until their answers just mock your intelligence and sensitive feelings. [Read: How to recognise and stop a selfish person from hurting you]

Now, ask yourself a simple question. Will their reason change your life? You know the answer already, and that’s the fact that they don’t care about you anymore, whatever the reason may be. This person could phrase it however they like, but the bottom line is the same, they don’t care about you *even if they once did*.

They don’t care. You should do the same!

Move on. Just how long do you intend to stare at a blank wall or stalk them online? Just walk away. This person doesn’t care about you anymore, so why should you? Of course, it’s going to hurt. And of course, you’ll feel miserable.

But all these sad feelings, well, they’re all going to go away once you make up your mind to move on for good. It may take a week or two, or perhaps, a month or two. But your addiction to this person will end, as long as you make a conscious effort today.

10 effective steps to stop feeling ignored by someone you really like

If you’re ready to overcome your addiction and get over this person who’s ignoring you, here are 10 steps that can help you feel better about yourself. But at every step along the way, you need to make the effort to stay dedicated to your goal of wringing their hooks off your heart, even if it hurts you at first. You slip here, and you’ll only fall harder and feel worse about yourself. [Read: If you love someone, should you let them go?]

#1 Don’t pick a fight. Confrontations won’t help. You’re angry and helpless, but seeking closure won’t take you anywhere.

#2 Begging and pleading won’t help either! You’ll only feel more helpless and frustrated. The more you beg and plead, the more you’ll make them cringe and make them take one more step further away from you.

#3 A heartfelt letter. If you really want to pour your heart out one last time, do it. But I won’t recommend it because there’s a very big chance that this person would just read it, roll their eyes in disgust, and trash your sad, teary eyed heartfelt note.

There is a very, very small chance though, that your letter may prick their selfish heart and soften it up. But think about it, if this person knows how much you love them already, and still chooses to hurt you by ignoring you, would they really care enough to respond to your note or change in the future? Think about it. Even if they stop ignoring you after reading your note, could it last forever? Or would they just ignore you again after a while?

My advice to you here is to avoid pouring your miserable feelings on a letter, even if you want it to be the last time you ever say anything to them. Just walk away, you won’t find any solace in writing a note. And you’ll only feel really miserable if they don’t respond to you. [Read: The perfect way to let go of someone you really love – Hate them first!]

#4 Ask a question if you must. If you really want answers, just ask them a question in a casual manner. They may reason their behavior with a ridiculously lame excuse, but really, what else where you expecting? The truth? Really? LOL!

#5 Keep yourself busy. Once you think you’re ready to get past the stage of trying to get in touch with them or explaining how you feel to them, take your first step in moving on for good. For starters, keep yourself busy doing something that keeps your mind occupied, whatever it may be. [Read: How to let go of a relationship that’s bad for you in every way!]

#6 Stop stalking them, one step at a time. Do you keep track of this person all the time? Have you added this person in your list of close friends so you can make yourself feel miserable each time you know they are online, and still not responding to that message you sent them on facebook? Back away, one step at a time. There’s no happiness to be found at the tip of a blade that’s stabbing your heart, even if you’re the one applying the pressure on its handle.

#7 Ignore them. Consciously make up your mind to ignore this person. Cut the strings that bind you to this person. Don’t try so hard to stay in touch with them. Don’t jump with excitement each time you see their name on your phone. And even if you have the occasional conversation with them now and then, avoid thinking about it. Instead, realize just how trivially they treat you each time they talk to you. [Read: How your self respect affects the way you let your crush treat you!]

#8 Spend time with friends. Have you realized how easy it is to ignore this person when you’re out with friends, having a good time? That’s the key. The more fun you have and the more you keep yourself distracted, the easier it would be to move on and forget this person ever existed.

Remember, conversations with others would prevent your mind from drifting towards thoughts of this person. And that’s always a good thing. [Read: 16 discreet signs you’re being taken for granted by the one you really like]

#9 Meet someone else who catches your fancy. You’re hurt because someone you fancy is ignoring you. So change the person you fancy! Try to focus your interest on someone else, even if that person isn’t someone you know well. All you need here is a distraction, and even a silly crush on someone you don’t even talk to can help you overcome the feeling of being ignored.

#10 Realize your progress. And use this realization to your advantage. You don’t miss this person today, as much as you missed them last week, do you? That’s a positive sign, and a good sign of progress. Realization can be your biggest strength, as long as you’re making the effort to ignore them back!

[Read: 15 signs the person you love is leading you on and taking you nowhere]

If you’re feeling ignored by someone you love, understand these pointers and use these 10 steps to get over them. It hurts, and you may feel helpless right now. But as long as you use these tips, you’ll be in a much better state of mind in no time! Now isn’t that worth the effort?

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Morgan Miller
Morgan Miller
Morgan Miller is a writer who lives in the Bay area, and suffers from an addiction to all things geeky and artsy. She loves wearing leggings as pants, and when ...
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DISCUSSION

26 thoughts on “How to Stop Feeling Ignored by the One You Love”

  1. Hanna says:

    Thank you for this article…Really…

  2. Zak says:

    This is a great article. I see a lot of junk online but this was pretty useful information. It is well thought out.

  3. A says:

    Thank you, these are the golden words. This is exactly how I feel and what I wanted to read to comfort myself. So much of good advice!

  4. Sulagna says:

    This was one of the best post I have read. Each sentence and its meaning describes perfectly the mind of anyone who is being ignored! Extremely well written!

  5. Lovely says:

    It’s really good and helpful to me

  6. standzo says:

    thanks, it was so cool..but i have this question too..How can i get in touch with a girl i love and she now ignores me?

    N:B she made me to know her because she was the 1st person to follow me on twitter after that we started kowing each other more better…

  7. Appu says:

    Really great article.I was crying day and night since 3 days and yeah strong determination is needed.Thanks for such a great article.Its what happening in my life right now.

  8. brody says:

    its really nice..it helped me a lot..thank u…u really made me to feel lighter

  9. Carla says:

    Every girl is going to know this when their man is stuck in front of the TV playing FIFA all day. I don’t what guys find so interesting about that stupid game, or sports for that matter. A lot of these tips simply won’t work because they’re too sucked into their game to even notice I’m around. I guess I should find a new guy. One who doesn’t find this stupid little game all that amusing. You know, a real man.

  10. advanced mind says:

    If you’re feeling ignored by someone you love, it’s probably because of something you did that they want you to talk about. Confide in them what really happened. If you don’t know the reason why, and you don’t know it by instinct, the best way to know is to ask what’s wrong. If they tell you that everything’s fine, try to draw the line from there. Tell them that you really want to make a real conversation about stuff that you want to talk about and eventually, your partner will tell you what’s wrong and then you start a meaningful conversation.

  11. james holt says:

    It doesn’t say what to do if this is the only person you’ve been with in 20 years and you need sex and its the only person you know to get it from and they ignoring you b..The last time you talk to them was 6 weeks ago and when you said you need to see them they hung up and no idea where there at or how to get in touch with them..oh and have 3 kids together and the father is with the kids but the mother is out doing god knows what..All I need is some sex and I’d feel a lot better…Haven’t had any luck with anyone else in years..The only other girls I’ve been with were her friends years ago but the 3somes were her idea…I just need to see her this is driving me nuts!!!

  12. Baby says:

    Well my boyfriend of six months who I was just about to tell I loved hasn’t returned any of my calls,text, or emails. I’m in shock, my heart is breaking more and more each day. He gave me some lame excuse about his phone and then I havent heard from him since he just said he would ” get back to me when he got a new phone”. Its been a week now and I’m just beyond confused.. we talked everyday and the longest we stopped was maybe or day or two. I’m falling apart and I’ve been trying to reach him and nothing. I’m at a point where I am thinking its over. At first I thought maybe he was busy with work or dealing out some issues. But its been a whole week. We were in a committed relationship and my heart literally hurts. I cant stop crying. I cant figure out whats going on. Only that he is doing nothing to contact me..

  13. Surat Kumar Maharana says:

    All men are the same ! 😛

  14. My Cell says:

    I am so angry at myself than him now. Our meetings happen when he chooses and that is when je has the time and mood. Hardly any direct or honest communication has happened till date. He has been showing interest in hanging out with me in the last two years and sometimes even acts like the protective and committed boyfriend but not much has happened over two years. While he feels that I am attractive he does not seem to appreciate my other parts of my personality. I am just recovering from crises and slowly coming out of my shell which he has at least a slight idea of. I am feeling pressurised to push myself beyond my current limits to look admirable to him. He is not being communicative about what he wants from me and why he seeks my company. Whenever I stop mailing him after getting ignored he sends me some irrelevant article links or some internet resource just to keep the line of communication active. I am so fed up of this. I can’t leave him at the same time. A lot of emotional healing has happened to me because of him without him being aware of it or doing anything consciously for me. Also whenever I have decided to cut ties something or the other has happened that has made me conclude that I should not walk out of this.

  15. sarah says:

    Thanks for your post. I think i need to let it out. I met a guy on my holidays back home. We hit it off. he worked as a Diplomatic in my home town. I am Asian and he is from the states. after I went back to the country where I live and work,he visited me twice. We had a great connection. and he said He will no longer work in my home country and he got transferred to another country soon. I felt so sad and tried not to attach him emotionally. But he said he will visit me again. After he went on holidays back to his home in the states,he still tried to help me for my school applications which he encouraged me to get scholarship in the US. we said we missed each other. I stopped texting him for one week coz i didnt want to disturb his family times and he reached out to me later But just before he moved to another country for diplomatic, he changed not texting me a lot or he sounded just a normal friend. I initiated conversation a few times. my last time was I let him know that i was not selected for scholarship. We started talking about it again and I told him I would move back to my home country and try another times for scholarship. Then he ignored me totally on FB messenger and I saw him online sometimes but never reached out to me. I put him on restricted list on Facebook for a week where he could not see my posts an pics at all then I decided to remove him from that list and he can see all my stuffs. After over one month we didn’t talk/text, I uploaded my new pic on facebook and he straightly liked it. I don’t have any idea at all. I feel so hurt but I still could control my feelings and never confront him yet.PS( when I tried to end the things , he did not want and he said he still wanted to keep in touch and talk to me). I never nag or chase him. Most of the times, i reached out to him were about school applications which he was helping me, coz i dont want him to feel pressured). Now He totally ignores me! 🙁 please tell me somethings.

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