Knowing how to stop liking someone is a lot easier said than done but you can find a way to move on.
Unrequited love is just the worst, isn’t it? Learning how to stop liking someone isn’t fun or easy, dreadful even, but it is possible. However, if you have spent weeks or even months building up feelings for this person, it’s going to be hard to stop liking them. This is true even when you find out your feelings are not reciprocated.
But you have to stop liking them. And you have to remember that life goes on. A single rejection is nothing to dwell on. [Read: Loving someone you can’t have: Ways to accept unreciprocated love]
The Pain of Rejection and Letting Go
Being in the position where you have to let go of someone, for whatever reason, definitely sucks. There’s not quite enough words to describe how awful it feels.
Rejection hits hard because it triggers the same areas of the brain involved in physical pain—yep, science backs that up! A study published in The Journal of Neurophysiology found that the brain reacts to social rejection in a similar way to how it processes physical injuries. No wonder it feels like your chest is in a vice when you’re trying to stop liking someone who doesn’t feel the same way.
Rejection doesn’t mean you are unlovable or a failure. Sometimes people won’t like you for reasons totally beyond your control—and that’s okay. Rejection is a normal and healthy part of dating.
Learning how to stop liking someone you can’t have isn’t easy, but it’s a life skill that will benefit you so much in the long run. You’ll figure out how to move on, heal, and eventually meet someone who can return your feelings with the same intensity. [Read: 46 secrets to mend a broken heart, heal & feel happy and whole again]
It’s absolutely valid to feel the sting of unrequited love. That pain is real, and there’s no shame in taking time to process it. But here’s the truth: to reach the other side, where you feel lighter and ready for new opportunities, you need to push through.
Keep reading for practical steps to stop liking someone and finally move on to greener, healthier pastures.
Confirm Why You Need to Stop Liking Them
In order to end this feeling, you need to know your “whys” first. You need to think about why exactly you need to stop liking them. Once you find out, hold firm to your decision to put them out of your mind as much as possible. [Read: 42 red flags & signs it’s time to end your relationship & move on for good]
1. Your Crush is Already Taken
This is an easy answer to why you need to stop crushing on someone. Sure, you can tell yourself that their partner doesn’t matter, or that your crush would be happier with you than with their current partner.
But ask yourself why you want to date a cheater. If your crush were to leave their partner for you *and that’s a big if*, what would stop them from leaving you for someone else? Do you really want to be the third party in a nasty breakup?
Save yourself the heartache. If your crush is taken, you need to stop liking them ASAP.
2. They Don’t Like You Back
Remember that thing about rejection being part of life? It may seem harsh, but the sooner you accept that your crush doesn’t like you back, the sooner you can move on.
If your crush was someone you often confided in, you might be tempted to tell them about how they broke your heart. You might even be angry and want to lash out at them for hurting you by not reciprocating your feelings. [Read: 22 secrets to stop being so angry, calm your mind & stop hurting yourself]
Don’t do that. Don’t lash out, don’t beg, don’t seek “closure” *it’s a myth, anyway*. If you want to move on, you need to accept that nothing you do is going to change the fact that they don’t care about you the same way you care about them.
3. Your Crush Likes Someone Else
This is a tough one. Finding out your crush likes someone else can feel like being kicked when you’re down. You may feel like you lost a competition for your crush’s love. But you didn’t- try to remember that human relationships are complicated.
Just because your crush likes someone more than you, does not make you less likable. That just means you weren’t a good fit for that person. Dust yourself off and try again with someone more likely to reciprocate your feelings. It may seem impossible now but trust us, you’ll find one. [Read: 39 secrets to get your crush to notice you & stages to get their attention]
4. They’re Not a Good Partner For You
Okay, so you like this person, right? But ask yourself, what do you really like about them? What do you even really know about them?
When we find someone attractive but don’t really know them, we tend to build a fantasy version of that person and develop a crush. So in your head you two make a perfect couple, but reality may not be so kind.
The best way to learn how to stop liking someone is to realize that you actually don’t have anything in common. You might like the way they look– but if that’s all, that’s not really a relationship.
There’s more to being with someone than having intense feelings for them. The two of you probably wouldn’t make the best pair, and realizing that helps you deal with the fact that you can’t be together. [Read: 78 good questions to ask people & be a great conversationalist]
5. Your Crush Doesn’t Care About You
Does your crush come over for booty calls, but disappears when you start talking about emotions? Does your crush like the attention you give them, but isn’t particularly interested in actually getting to know you? Then we are sorry to say that your crush doesn’t care about you.
Nothing makes you stop liking someone faster than realizing they don’t really care about you. If your crush doesn’t care about you, it’s time to stop liking them and seek affection elsewhere.
6. They’re Sending Mixed Signals
If someone is hot and cold with you, it can feel confusing and frustrating. Mixed signals are often a sign that they’re unsure about their feelings or not fully committed. It’s emotionally exhausting to invest in someone who can’t decide what they want.
To protect your peace and clarity, it’s better to let go and stop liking someone who keeps you in limbo. After all, you should direct your attention and affection to someone who’s sure about how they feel about you. [Read: Honest secrets to let go of the past, be happy and look to the future]
7. They Take You for Granted
If you feel like they don’t appreciate your time, attention, or efforts, it’s a sign they might not value you as they should. One-sided relationships are draining and often lead to resentment.
You deserve someone who sees your worth and treats you with kindness and respect. To stop liking someone who takes you for granted is an act of self-respect.
8. They’re Emotionally Unavailable
Sometimes, the person you like isn’t ready for a relationship due to personal issues, past trauma, or other reasons. No matter how much you care about them, you can’t force someone to open up or be emotionally ready.
Holding onto these feelings will only prolong your own emotional struggle. Easier said than done for sure but letting go and learning to stop liking someone emotionally unavailable frees you to find a more fulfilling connection. [Read: Emotionally unavailable man: 52 signs, causes & ways to make him love you]
9. You Have Different Life Goals
Even if the chemistry is strong, having opposing visions for the future can create long-term problems. Maybe they want to move abroad, focus on their career, or avoid settling down, while you want something different.
Incompatible goals make it harder to build a stable and happy relationship. If your feelings for them evolve to something more serious, then you’re only setting up yourself for a heartbreak.
10. They’re Already a Source of Stress
If liking this person is causing you constant anxiety, stress, or self-doubt, it’s a red flag. Romantic feelings should bring joy, not make you question your worth or overanalyze every interaction. Your mental health is important and something that you must prioritize. You’ll feel much lighter when you let go of the weight they’re adding to your life.
11. You’re Sacrificing Too Much for Them
When you start compromising your time, happiness, or values for someone who doesn’t reciprocate, it’s time to reconsider if it’s still worth liking them. Healthy relationships are balanced, and sacrifices should be mutual. If you’re doing all the heavy lifting while they remain indifferent, it’s not worth holding on.
12. They Make You Feel Insecure
If being around this person makes you feel less confident or causes you to doubt yourself, and mostly wonder, “Do they like me?” or “Do they find me attractive?” they’re likely not the right person for you. [Read: Insecurity in a relationship: 34 signs & secrets to feel secure and love better]
A healthy crush or relationship should build you up, not tear you down. Letting go of someone who undermines your self-esteem is a step toward protecting your emotional well-being. Remember, we must spend our time and energy with people who make us feel good about ourselves, be it a romantic connection or not.
13. They Display Toxic Behavior or Red Flags
If the person you like consistently shows toxic traits or behaviors, it’s a major reason to stop liking them. Maybe they’re disrespectful, dismissive of your feelings, or behave in ways that go against your core values.
Overlooking these red flags because of your feelings only sets you up for heartache in the long run. It might not be easy to take off your rose-colored glasses but toxic behaviors and red flags must not be excused.
How to Stop Liking Someone Who Doesn’t Like You Back
To stop liking someone, you need to treat yourself with equal measures of strictness and self-love. You must stop thinking about them in a romantic way and forgive yourself for how long the process is going to take. Because, depending on how long you have liked them, it might take a while.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, and read on to learn how to stop liking someone you can’t have.
1. Respect Their Relationship
If you like somebody who is already in a relationship, it can feel like you’re a third wheel that no one even knows about. Unfortunately, this is a sad situation of your own making and the only person who can put an end to it is you.
Even though it may hurt that they’re with someone else, if they’re happily in a relationship, then it will be a lot easier for you to just stay away from them. Don’t wait around hoping for them to break up and begging for attention. You’re better than that. [Read: Side chick: 54 signs, reasons you’re not his main & how to walk away ASAP]
Besides, if you really like this person, you should want them to be happy. If they’re happy with their life and relationship, then you should want what’s best for them and look elsewhere for love.
2. Surround Yourself With People Who Care
A rejection, no matter how normal, can make you feel unwanted and alone. Try to surround yourself with people who care- whether that be loving friends or family.
Spending time with those who love you can help you remember that one rejection doesn’t make you less of an awesome person and that other people love your existence.
3. Flirt With Other People
Finding yourself pining over a person who doesn’t like you back? The best remedy might be to try dating again.
When you are thinking about someone you can’t have, you idealize them. This obsession can take up a lot of your brain and trick you into believing that there is nobody as perfect for you as your unrequited crush. But this is far from the truth.
When you start dating again, you will realize that your old crush is just a person– nothing more, nothing less. Dating can give you perspective and maybe even help you find someone new! [Read: Single and ready to mingle: How to let the world know you’re ready]
You don’t need to redirect these intense feelings, just meet new people and see what’s out there. You’ll be surprised by what interacting with a stranger does for your confidence. Plus, you never know who you’ll find if you put yourself out there.
4. Indulge in Your Favorite Hobbies
When you want to stop liking someone, it feels like all you can think about. The best way to get over them is to keep yourself busy. Go skydiving! Run a marathon! Do something that takes your mind off of them and the fact that you can’t have them.
Try volunteering, redesigning a room in your house, or just deep cleaning your rug that surely needs it. While you’re out living your own life, you may even bump into someone new! [Read: 30 secrets to get over someone you love fast & not give a damn anymore]
5. Cut Off Communication With the Person
They’ve decided they don’t reciprocate your feelings… Now you have to leave them alone. Yes, that includes texting them and hitting them up on social media.
This is hard, especially when you are feeling really down and just want a chance to see them. But you have to resist that urge. Don’t “accidentally” bump into them out and about, or tag them in posts on social media. These little moments only deepen your feelings, or worse, make you feel pathetic.
Seeing your crush often will only prevent you from moving on. Whether you work together or run in the same crowd, avoid them. This isn’t petty, it is for your own good. [Read: No contact rule: What it is, 29 secrets to use it & why it works so well]
6. Ask Yourself If You Actually Like Your Crush
You may believe that you really liked this person, but they do not feel the same way. Could it be that you don’t like them, but you like the fantasy version of them you made up in your head?
You don’t know all of your crush’s little quirks and habits. They might have some nasty, unpleasant personality traits you just glossed over.
It’s time to separate fantasy from reality. One of the best ways to learn how to stop crushing on someone is to make a list of what you actually like about them.
If most of the items on the list are purely in your mind, only physical or not set in reality, you may realize these feelings aren’t what you thought they were. [Read: Lust vs love: 21 signs to know exactly what you feel for each other]
7. Let Go of Expectations
Just because things like this work out in movies doesn’t mean they work out in real life. Telling someone how you feel won’t miraculously make them feel the same way. So if you expect the person you love to reciprocate your feelings, you’ve set your expectations too high.
Don’t be tempted to tell your crush your feelings just to get “closure.” This is likely to backfire. You can’t make someone like you back, it’s just there or it isn’t. [Read: When you miss someone: 36 signs & things you MUST do to learn from it]
8. Control Your Thoughts
This sounds much harder than it is. Controlling your thoughts should be a gentle practice. Every time your mind drifts to that someone you like, gently bat the thought away like you are hitting a balloon.
Letting yourself obsess about this person causes you to fall deeper for them without even realizing it. In order to stop liking someone who doesn’t like you back, you need to stop letting yourself go there. Don’t dwell.
If your mind goes to them, just gently bat the thought away. Don’t be hard on yourself for struggling, but don’t give up either. Soon you will find you don’t think of them at all. [Read: 45 secrets to be more positive & fill your mind with positive emotions 24/7]
You may have a thousand excuses for why you want to keep your crush on your feed. But the reality of the situation is that you cannot move on when you are constantly reminded of them. Staying in touch as friends or as a follower will only ruin your chances of moving on.
Unfollow them, block them, or just hide their posts. It may seem intense, but it will be so worth it when you hit that first day where they don’t cross your mind at all. [Read: How to make your ex jealous & leave them begging for forgiveness]
10. Write a Journal
Writing in a journal is one of the best ways to work through your feelings. If this rejection is really bothering you, writing in a journal can help alleviate your pain.
It gives you a safe place to vent without fear of judgment, making you feel better overall. [Read: How to let go of a relationship: Things to do to walk away unhurt]
11. Let Go of a Friendship With Your Crush
A lot of times, when you are trying to stop liking someone, they are your friend. You don’t want to lose the friendship even though it is hurting you. But, why?
This friendship isn’t providing you with anything positive. It is only offering you pain. If you’re afraid to hurt them by ditching them as a friend, so what?
If they are a good person they will understand that you need distance to get over this hurt. Maybe down the road, you can rekindle a friendship but don’t bank on it. [Read: Cut people out of your life: Why it’s hard, 35 signs & steps to unfriend them]
12. Put Yourself First
Stop putting them first. In your attempts to woo your crush, you probably went out of your way for them, putting yourself out to spend time with them and maybe even doing favors. But now that you know that they do not feel the same way about you, it’s time to start thinking about yourself.
Put yourself first. Stop saying yes to them. You shouldn’t be talking to them at all, but if you work together you need to set boundaries. Help them when it is necessary for your job, but not just because.
Putting distance between you and your crush is the only way to stop liking them and move on.
13. Work on Improving Yourself
Often when we get hung up on unrequited love, it is because something else in our lives feels unfulfilled. Ask yourself, have you been taking the best care of yourself that you could? Or have you been putting all of your energy into your crush?
Now is the time to focus on improving yourself. Have you had a hobby you were thinking about picking up? Want to join a local runners club, or learn how to surf? Now is the time to do it. Maybe pick up a new workout routine or look for a new job.
When you start working on yourself it will build your confidence and help you forget all about your crush. [Read: Ghosting: What it is, 63 signs, reasons to ghost & how it affects both people]
14. Accept Your Situation With Dignity
The final stage of it all. To fully deal with the reality of you not getting what you want, you need to accept it. Yes, it really sucks. Yes, it would be SO much better if you could just be with them.
But you can’t. And the sooner you realize and accept this, the sooner you can move on and be happy with your life. You should be proud of yourself for accepting rejection with grace and dignity, for it is one of the hardest and most mature things a person can do.
Signs It’s Time to Stop Liking Someone
The thing about liking someone is that we graciously wear rose-colored glasses, often ignoring the signs that it’s not working out. But sometimes, those signs are clear as day if you look for them—not in the other person, but in yourself. Here are signs that it’s time to stop liking someone, and why paying attention to these feelings can help you move on:
1. You Feel Emotionally Drained
When thinking about or interacting with this person leaves you more exhausted than energized, it’s a major red flag. Crushes are supposed to be exciting and fun, but if this one feels like it’s sucking the life out of you, it’s time to reevaluate.
Constant overthinking, second-guessing, or worrying about where you stand can take a toll on your mental health. This emotional fatigue is your brain’s way of saying it’s time to stop liking someone who isn’t good for you.
2. They Don’t Reciprocate Your Feelings
If you’ve made your interest clear and they’re not giving you the same energy back, it’s time to take the hint. Unrequited love can be heartbreaking, but clinging to hope will only prolong your pain. [Read: Unrequited love: 58 signs, types & steps to get out of unreciprocated love]
Your feelings deserve to be met with equal enthusiasm and effort. Recognizing this imbalance is tough but necessary to stop liking someone who isn’t willing to meet you halfway.
3. You’re Putting Your Life on Hold for Them
If you’ve caught yourself rearranging your schedule, putting off personal goals, or waiting for them to “come around,” it’s a sign you’re prioritizing them over your own happiness, and that’s not healthy.
Your time and energy are valuable, and putting them on pause for someone who doesn’t appreciate it isn’t fair to you. They might not be a good fit into your life right now, and that’s okay.
4. They Consistently Disappoint You
Do you find yourself repeatedly hurt or let down by their actions *or lack of them*? It’s a clear sign something’s off. Whether it’s forgetting plans, failing to communicate, or showing zero effort, the disappointment adds up.
5. You’re Losing Confidence in Yourself
We already mentioned it and we’re going to say it again. If liking them has you doubting your worth, questioning your attractiveness, or feeling “not enough,” it’s time to take a step back. A crush should make you feel excited and positive, not insecure. [Read: Sense of self: What it is, 36 signs, tips & steps to raise it and feel great]
This is about you, not them—focusing on your self-esteem can help you recognize why stopping your feelings for this person is the best move for your mental health.
6. You’re Obsessed With Winning Them Over
Your mind is consumed by ways to impress them, get their attention, or “prove” you’re good enough. If that’s how you typically spend your day, it’s a sign your feelings are turning unhealthy.
Love and affection aren’t things you should have to earn. This mindset can lead to burnout and resentment.
7. You Feel Like You’re Not Being True to Yourself
When you start changing your personality, interests, or values just to match theirs, it’s another sign you’re compromising who you are. It’s normal to want to connect with someone, but not at the expense of your authenticity. [Read: 33 Secrets to be true to yourself & signs you need to unfake your life]
Real relationships are built on mutual respect for who you truly are. It’s better to stop liking someone who doesn’t accept the real you than to mold yourself into someone else for their sake.
8. You’re Ignoring Other Important Relationships
Once you notice that your crush is taking up so much of your energy that you’re neglecting friends, family, or even yourself, it’s a problem.
Healthy feelings shouldn’t isolate you from the people who love and support you. When you notice this happening, it’s a sign that stopping your feelings for this person might be the healthiest choice for your overall well-being. [Read: 38 signs & traits of a happy, healthy relationship & what it should look like]
9. You’re Constantly Comparing Yourself to Others
Comparison is the thief of joy. If liking this person makes you feel the need to compete with others for their attention or approval, it’s damaging to your self-worth. Constant comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy and unhappiness. This cycle isn’t worth it.
10. You’re No Longer Excited About the Future
Usually, having a romantic interest makes you excited about life. If anything, their presence makes you see the world brighter. So when your feelings for someone overshadow your own goals, dreams, or excitement for what’s ahead, it’s a wake-up call.
You should never feel like your happiness depends entirely on someone else. Stopping your crush on someone who dims your light will help you rediscover what truly makes you happy.
It May Feel Like It’s the End of the World
It really feels like it’s the end of the world when we can’t have the person we like, especially when our emotions feel overwhelming and hard to control. It’s normal to feel heartbroken, frustrated, or even a little stuck. These feelings are valid, but they don’t have to define you or your future.
[Read: Feeling hopeless: How to stop feeling overwhelmed & see hope again]
You can learn how to stop liking someone you can’t have. No matter why they are unavailable, remember there is an abundance of ways you can deal with it and be happy! And you will be happy again.
