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Why Do Girls Reject Me? 40 Reasons & the Best Ways to Respond To a Rejection

If you’re wondering why girls reject you, know that it happens to the best of us. What you need to do is learn how to respond to a girl’s rejection. 

why do girls reject me

The fact that you’re reading this tells us that you’ve spent far too long wondering, “Why do girls reject me?” You’re not alone. By learning how to respond when a girl rejects you, you’ll be able to handle anything that comes flying your way in life.

Rejection is hard, but once you overcome it, you’re invincible.

You’re going to learn that rejection is a part of not only the dating world but also life in general. You may not get the job you want, or your parents won’t let you have the car on Friday night. These things are going to happen.

Who said life was easy? [Read: How to grow up and be a mature adult]

Why does rejection hurt so much?

There are a number of reasons why a woman might reject a man. Most of them, the guy has some control over. Sometimes it’s you, and sometimes it’s not.

Regardless, there’s no denying that when you get rejected, it hurts. Why? Because it’s so easy to take it personally and assume that it’s a reflection of your character or appearance.

Most of the time, it’s not. We so badly want acceptance from those around us, and it’s a slap in the face when we’re rejected. What you need to do is learn how to respond when a girl rejects you instead of focusing on the action itself. [Read: Obvious signs of rejection that men keep ignoring]

Why are you being rejected by the woman you like?

The following are the most common reasons that a woman will shoot down a man. You’ll notice that some are beyond your control, but most of them are mistakes that guys make.

Are you making any of these mistakes? Read on to find out, and correct the ones you’re getting wrong. Your love life will be glad you did.

1. Being too cocky

Arrogance is the way some guys cope with their perceived shortcomings. For whatever reason, they think that coming off as cocky will cover up the fact that they’re insecure/short/boring, etc.

It never works. Being yourself, whoever that is, beats arrogance any day. [Read: How to express your opinions without seeming cocky]

2. Lacking confidence

The quality that women likely value the most in men is self-confidence. More than good looks, money, a great job, or a sense of humor, a self-assured man is extremely attractive to women. But too many guys substitute cockiness for confidence, which is a very different thing.

3. She’s out of your league

Sometimes, a guy gets rejected because he aimed too high. Let’s face it, there are some women that most guys never have a chance with. It might be about looks, money, age, or whatever else. If you shoot for the stars, you can’t be surprised if you crash. [Read: Easy moves to date a girl who’s way out of your league]

4. Too self-involved

The number of guys that spend an entire evening talking about themselves while on a first date is unbelievable. They might be thinking that the woman is impressed or that it’s their duty to do all the talking. Whatever goes through their heads when they do this is just wrong.

Women hate this about guys more than most other things. Unless you’ve just returned from climbing Mount Everest, you don’t have anything more interesting to say than she does.

5. Bad hygiene

Unfortunately, bad hygiene is an all too common reason that women reject men. Luckily, it is an easily preventable one.

It’s pretty simple. Wash your body, brush your teeth, wear clean clothes, run a comb through your hair, and you’re pretty much there. If you’re not clean, you will be rejected. [Read: The rules of etiquette that every man needs to know]

6. Poor performance

Rejection doesn’t just happen after the first encounter, and this one can only apply once you’ve slept together. Maybe you just didn’t please her.

Women have sexual needs just like men do. If a guy isn’t meeting those needs, then she very well might reject him because of it. Most women are pretty understanding. As long as a guy is making an effort, she should help him figure out what her needs are.

If a guy is just a selfish lover and is always putting his own pleasure before hers, then he will have only himself to blame when she stops answering his calls. [Read: Sexy ways to be a better lover]

7. Just not her type

Sometimes, a guy is just not what a woman is looking for. It could be something about his personality, or maybe she’s just not physically attracted to him. Maybe the chemistry isn’t there for her.

In this case, there’s not much you can do other than accept it. That might not help you when learning how to respond when a girl rejects you, but you also have to know when it’s a lost cause. [Read: 25 things that will make you more attractive to women]

8. He’s kind of a prick

Everyone’s heard it before – nice guys finish last, and women like assholes. It’s impossible to deny that there’s some truth to this, but do you really want to be with a woman who likes jerks?

Take the high road, be a gentleman, and you’ll do much better.

This might be the most common reason that women reject men. Guys are rude toward women, whether that’s just how they are or how they’ve convinced themselves that they need to be. It’s a terrible approach. [Read: Confident or cocky? 16 subtle signs that split an arrogant and modest man]

9. Right place, wrong time

Sometimes, you’re just unlucky. You approach a woman you’re into, who might like you on any other day, too. But for whatever reason, she’s having a bad day.

Maybe she had a fight with a friend or a bad day at work, or maybe she’s just under the weather. You’ve got to accept that there’s always an element of chance to certain things, and the timing just isn’t right sometimes. [Read: 25 biggest dating deal breakers for women]

10. She’s already committed

Of course, one of the most common answers to why a woman might reject men is that she’s already dating someone or completely committed. In that case, there’s nothing much you can do.

Learn how to respond when a girl rejects you and move on to someone who doesn’t already have a partner.

11. She’s not interested in you

This one might sting, but it’s a common reason for rejection. We all like different types of people depending on how we feel. It could simply be that you’re not floating her boat right now.

Look at it this way – if we all liked the same people, life would be pretty boring, right? Unfortunately, this is something that you simply need to suck up and get over. There will be plenty of other girls who are interested in you. [Read: Stop wasting time – 15 signs she’s not interested in a second date]

12. You don’t make her feel special

This can be based on a first impression or a date. If you don’t make her feel special, she might decide that you’re not worth spending time on. Harsh? Possibly – but doesn’t everyone deserve to feel special?

Everyone wants different things from dates and relationships, so it could simply be that the two of you don’t gel on this basis. [Read: 20 sweet ways to make a girl feel special, loved, and lucky to be with you]

13. You have a bad reputation

Does your reputation go before you? If so, you might need to do some damage control before it ruins your dating life for good.

If she knows about you from other people, she’s going to be wary about getting involved. In that case, she’s likely to reject you regardless of whether your reputation is deserved or not.

14. She sensed you were only after one thing

This one is on you, unfortunately. If you approach her and make it very clear that you’re only after sex, she’s probably going to turn you down – unless that’s what she wants, too, of course.

You need to speak to her like she’s a person that you’re truly interested in and learn about her first. The good news is that tweaking your approach should help you out here. [Read: 25 signs he just wants sex and reasons why he’s only using you for fun]

15. She’s interested in someone else

It could be bad timing because she simply has her eye on another person. Again, not much you can do about that unless you can charm her away from the apple of her eye.

This is certainly one of the main reasons why guys are rejected by girls, and it’s a difficult one to accept.

How to respond when a girl rejects you

We wish we could tell you that you’re never going to be rejected, but life simply isn’t like that. Instead, you need to learn how to respond when a girl rejects you.

Is it fun? Probably not, but you’ll feel better about the entire situation when you handle it like an adult. No, you don’t need to call her a bitch. [Read: Fear of rejection – steps to overcome and get over it without any scars]

1. Accept that not everyone is going to love you

Realize that not everyone is going to want to be with you. Once you accept that, rejection becomes a little easier to handle.

It’s still hard when you have feelings for someone, but you can’t control how someone feels about you. It’s not her fault. It’s not your fault. It simply means that you are not a match. [Read: How to hit on a girl without acting like a creep]

2. Stay calm and keep your cool

You’re going to be upset. Like anyone who’s experienced rejection, the first thing you’re going to be is hurt and then a little angry. But listen, this isn’t the moment for you to freak out and start yelling at her. No, no, no.

Just chill and play it cool. You can freak out later in the privacy of your own home, but keep it under control for now. [Read: How to handle rejection without making a fool of yourself]

3. Don’t take it personally

Let’s say you met this girl at a bar, and you tried to hit on her. She rejected you. Can you blame her for rejecting you?

She doesn’t know anything about you, but she’s rejecting what you’re presenting to her.

If she’s known you for a while and she rejects a move you make on her, she obviously doesn’t see you two being a successful match. [Read: How to get a girl to notice you even before talking to her]

4. Understand that no two women are the same

There are no two women that are the same. Some women love cheesy pickup lines, while other girls don’t. Your approach may work for one girl, but it won’t necessarily work for every girl.

Work on your approach, and understand how to alter it depending on the woman you’re talking to.

5. Reflect on what you did

The only way to gain more success than rejections is to actually reflect on what happened. What did you say to her? How did you approach her?

It could just be that you chose the wrong girl at the wrong time, but if you’re noticing that you’re being rejected often, ask yourself why. That’s one of the most proactive ways to learn how to respond when a girl rejects you. [Read: 25 honest self-reflection questions to recognize the real you inside]

6. Leave your ego at the door

If you let your ego get in the middle of this, you’re going to say things that hurt both of you. After you get rejected, you should just shrug it off. You can laugh, pretend to cry, shrug your shoulders, and continue on to the next girl.

If you allow it to stick to you, you’ll put yourself in a negative mood, and that’ll be the end of the night for you. [Read: How to overcome the fear of rejection and just ask the girl out]

7. Know when she’s rejecting you

The worst thing is to stick around for longer than she wants you to. Know the signs of when you’re being rejected. When you see the signs early enough, move on.

She’s going to reject you, whether it’s in two minutes or ten minutes. Pull out before she rejects you, and you’ll leave on a high note. You’ll also change the power tactics, which may catch her attention.

8. Walk away with your head held high

We’ve seen some men get rejected or ignored and then hang around for a couple of minutes longer, thinking that this chick will change her mind. Listen, if you get rejected, leave her area.

Don’t hang around with her or try to convince her otherwise. Her mind is made up for now. Hanging around her will only make her decision stronger. [Read: She rejected you but still acts interested? Here’s how to read her mind]

9. Don’t bad-mouth her

If you’re wondering how to respond when a girl rejects you, here’s something you need to remember. We’ve seen guys get rejected and retreat to their friends only to make a scene by pointing or laughing at her. Not only is this incredibly rude, but you’re ruining your chances with other women.

Don’t you think that any of the other women notice this? They all see it. If you act like this, you’re going to keep getting rejected. Be classy and respectful. Trust us.

10. No begging

There’s nothing more humiliating than seeing someone beg for someone to go out with them. You may really like her or think she’s beautiful, but if she’s already rejected you, don’t start begging. This isn’t going to go well for you.

Once she sees herself as someone above you, it’s over. Make sure she sees you as an equal. No begging! [Read: The gentleman’s guide to successfully asking out a woman]

11. Make a joke

Sometimes women will reject you by completely ignoring you. We’re sorry on behalf of all women – it really isn’t cool to do that. But now you see how immature she is, so see it as a win.

After you get rejected, make a joke out of it if you can. Have a laugh, say something funny, and walk away. You don’t necessarily need to leave the scene with a bitter taste in your mouth. [Read: How to make a girl smile, laugh, and like you instantly]

12. Don’t think all women are like this

We’ve seen women reject men in terrible ways, but try to realize that not all women are like this. There are some women who believe that they’re better than everyone else and feel it’s okay to treat people like this, but it isn’t the majority.

If you approach a woman in a respectful way, most women will kindly decline the offer without being rude.

13. Remember, it’s about numbers

You’ve probably looked for jobs before, so you know that you have to apply to literally hundreds of job postings to land one or two interviews. It’s basically the same thing when approaching women.

It’s a numbers game. You can approach one girl, and she may reject you. Approach ten girls, and your odds of having a conversation or getting a number are significantly higher. [Read: How to be better at dating – 15 ways to enjoy every step of the way]

14. Tweak as you go along

As you continue to approach women, make small tweaks to your method. Learn from each interaction, and go from there.

That way, you develop a generally solid approach to women and become more comfortable. [Read: The subtle cues that will have you reading a woman’s mind]

15. See rejection as a learning opportunity

The only way to figure out whether or not what you’re doing is right is through rejection. This is just the way we learn.

The best way to handle rejection is to understand that it’s going to happen whether you want it to or not. All you can do after that is change your tactics and learn from each rejection.

16. Allow yourself to grieve

If you really liked this girl and she rejected you, it’s going to hurt. Allow yourself the time you need to grieve and move on. Don’t push it before you’re ready, and don’t feel like you need to shrug it off.

You feel how you feel. [Read: How to take care of yourself emotionally and avoid falling apart]

17. Don’t plot revenge

Whatever you do, don’t leave the interaction with plans for revenge. It’s not worth it. If she did reject you rather cruelly, that’s her karma – not yours.

Trying to get some kind of revenge will only make you look petty and make her think that she was right to reject you in the first place.

18. Accept that it’s just not meant to be

We can’t be with everyone we like throughout our lifetimes. That’s just not how it works. Part of learning how to respond when a girl rejects you is understanding this fact and that maybe you two just weren’t meant to be. [Read: Unreciprocated love – 25 ways to move on when love isn’t returned]

19. Know that there is someone better around the corner

Once you’ve accepted that you just weren’t meant to be, you need to plant a positive thought – there is someone better just around the corner.

Who knows? The next girl you speak to may be the one!

20. Vent to someone you trust

If you need to talk things through and get everything off your chest, speak to someone you trust. It’s far better to talk things through than to bottle up your emotions. At some point, they will burst out and cause you far more pain than before. [Read: How to express your feelings – 16 must-know ideas to speak your mind]

21. Distract yourself

Don’t sit there wondering, “Why do girls reject me?” Keep your mind busy. Throw yourself into a new project or take on a new hobby. Go on vacation or arrange a night out with your friends.

Just do something that keeps your mind off the rejection and on more positive things.

22. Remember that it’s not the end of the world

We all get rejected at some point and often more than once. Life will continue. and you will be fine. Remind yourself of this fact and keep it all in perspective.

You really liked her, and she didn’t feel the same, but that doesn’t mean that the next girl you meet won’t be crazy about you. The world will continue turning! [Read: Small ways to deal with big changes in your life]

23. Move on at your own pace

It’s easy to have that ‘get back in the saddle’ mindset and assume you need to power through and move on to the next person. Not so. If you don’t feel ready to get back out there yet, you don’t need to.

Move on at your own pace and not when someone tells you that you need to.

24. Work on your non-romantic relationships

When you get rejected, it’s easy to take on the ‘doom’ mindset and assume that everyone hates you. That’s not true. You have plenty of friends and family around you, and now is the time to focus on those relationships instead.

The right person will come to you at the right time but have some fun for now. The positive point of this is that you never know who you might meet while you’re out there enjoying yourself with your friends. [Read: How to be a friend – the real art of true and meaningful friendships]

25. Show kindness in the face of rejection

Even though she rejected you, you should show her kindness and respect. This gives you the upper hand and will boost your confidence when you’re able to see clearly enough to look past the rejection.

You don’t know the reason that she rejected you, and it could be something that’s not her fault. By showing kindness, you’re covering all base. At some point in the future, maybe she’ll even change her mind. If you want her then, that is. [Read: How to be kind to yourself and others and love life instead of hating it]

Rejection happens to all of us

Learning how to respond when a girl rejects you can be hard, but know that every single person on the planet has been or will be rejected at some point. It stings, and, in some cases, it really hurts, but it’s a part of life.

We can’t like every person who approaches us, and there are a million things going on behind the scenes that you might not even know about. Rather than sitting there wallowing in your negative thoughts, focus on the positives and distract your mind instead.

In time, you’ll see the bigger picture, and you might even be glad it didn’t work out with that particular girl.

[Read: The most important rules of being a gentleman]

Listen – the dating world can be harsh, but you don’t have to let it get you down. By knowing how to respond when a girl rejects you, you’re one step ahead already!

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Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...