Sometimes love and obsession become blurry. You need to understand the signs of obsession to know what you feel. Of course, if you say you love Justin Bieber, well, that’s more likely an obsession *sorry, Beliebers* and is pretty easy to figure out. You cannot be in love with someone you don’t know. Unless you met Justin and had dinner with him—then I apologize.
However, sometimes when we get to know someone and start to like them, our feelings start to become a little… intense… A little too Edward Cullen, if you get me. Obsessing over someone or having someone obsessed over you is dramatic. It’s like living in a teenage drama flick. But is that what love actually is? Of course, it’s not.
Signs of obsession to watch out for
Maybe you don’t think you behave obsessively, maybe you think calling them 50 times a day is normal—it’s not. If you think getting approval for what you wear out tonight is them exercising their styling techniques—it’s not. So, whether you’re the one obsessing or someone is obsessing about you, you need to know the signs.
Obsession is picture-perfect… in the beginning. Pay attention to these signs of obsession and take care of your heart.
#1 You feel something is a little off. If you read this, you already know that something isn’t right. You already feel a little off with the entire relationship, which is great. If you feel it, then you know it’s happening. Now, all you need to do is get yourself out of it because this feeling won’t go away. [Read: How to let go of a relationship that’s bad for you]
#2 You don’t have any personal space. In healthy relationships, you don’t need to see that person every day. Sometimes, you just want a day to go to the beach alone or read a book in the bathtub. But they need to be around you all the time. They need to know every single thing you’re doing and make sure it doesn’t go against their plan. [Read: 7 secret and revealing signs of a bad relationship]
#3 Privacy? What privacy? They have your passwords for your social media and email because they need to know what you do at all times. They need to make sure that you’re not cheating on them. You no longer have any privacy, they own you. Your privacy, if you’re lucky, is going to the bathroom alone.
#4 Jealousy to the max. Jealousy is an understatement to how they feel. They don’t like when people look at you, they don’t like if you dress too sexy. In all honesty, they just want you locked up at home in a potato sack. If you have friends of the opposite sex, that’s not gonna work for them. They’re insecure and cannot handle any threats.
#5 They pull you away from friends and family. They’re cool around your friends and family in the beginning, but after a while, they start to pull you away from them. They don’t like your friends, your family annoys them, or they feel like your parents don’t like them. This all an act. They just play the victim so that you feel bad and stand by their side. This means to abandon your friendships for them.
#6 They assume you cheat on them. If you don’t answer their text after fifteen minutes, you cheat on them. If you call them back an hour after you’re done with work, you’re cheating. They don’t trust anything you say, really.
In the beginning, they’re cool. Everything’s fine, but after a while, they start to ask you for your passwords, start to question who you talk to. They don’t trust you. [Read: 20 things happy couples don’t do in a perfect relationship]
#7 They say “I love you” too soon. Oh, yeah, sure, they’re in love. It’s been a day, but they know it. They feel that this is true love. You don’t even know how they like their eggs in the morning, but they love you.
If they pop out this phrase like it’s a nothing, that’s a problem. Some people actually do feel love. However, if you’re on edge then it’s probably not true love.
#8 It’s all about protecting you. All they want to do is protect you. They don’t want you to go out with your friend tonight because they want to keep you safe. They must go to the shopping mall with you because they don’t want you harassed. It’s all sweet sounding, but it’s bullshit. You can do anything you want, and you don’t need to be protected unless you ask for their assistance.
#9 You’re perfect… but. There’s always a but. They tell you all the time about how perfect you are but also criticize you for small things. Maybe you’re beautiful, but you should lose ten pounds. These types of people look for your weaknesses. By finding them, they use them against you to control you and make you insecure so that you don’t leave them. [Read: 18 signs you’re being coerced into a controlling relationship]
#10 You feel like you’re going insane. This shows you they try to manipulate you and control you. If you feel like you’re not yourself anymore, it’s because you’re not. They try to suck everything out of you and turn you into their personal slave.
#11 They will “never let you go.” One guy actually sent me this text when I first met him. He said, “I’ll never let you go.” I met him twenty minutes before that, he ended up being completely obsessed with me after one date. You may think that phrases like this are sweet, and sure, they can be, but not after one date. Trust me.
#12 Their dating history is blurry. Usually, when you ask them about their dating history, they always talk about how their exes were crazy. Don’t fall for that. I mean, they probably were crazy because this person made them go literally insane with their manipulative behavior. If this is the only word they use to describe their partner, this is a huge red flag. In other words… run.
#13 They stalk you. On social media, they know every single thing about you. They know who commented on your profile photo, who likes your pictures the most, what you post, when you post things—they know it all. This is one of those big signs of obsession you can’t ignore.
In person, they go to the classes you’re in, eat in the places where they know you’re going to be. You somehow see them everywhere even when you never told them. [Read: How to know if your relationship is toxic so you can get out fast]
#14 They make threats to you or themselves. Because they’re insecure, they feel they won’t be able to do anything without you. If you try to break up with this person, instead of saying, “Okay, I understand,” they switch and talk about how they want to kill themselves or they’ll never allow you to break up with them. That’s not love. If it was, they would, of course, be sad and confused, but they would let you go.
[Read: The unhealthy effects of falling madly in obsessive love]
Now you know the signs of obsession, are you obsessed or in love? Is your partner obsessed or in love? If you or your partner is obsessed, you need to take the steps in getting out of the relationship because this won’t end well for anyone.
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