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Timing in Love and Relationships: Why It’s So Important

timing in love

Like that famous song said, you found the right love at the wrong time. Here’s why timing in love is more important than most people think.

It’s true that everything happens for a reason. When good things happen, we say things like “it’s our time,” and when bad things happen, we write it off as not being our time. But the one thing the good and bad have in common is timing. And in relationships, timing is everything.

Our relationships operate on its own clock, with its own hours, and we all have to go through each hour at least once in our life for our relationship clock to set the right time. But, as you may already be asking, how can you know if the timing is right when it’s different for everyone?

How to know if the timing is right in your dating life

There’s no alarm clock for relationships that tell you when you should be going through a milestone, readying yourself for a breakup, or venturing out to mingle with other singles. All you can rely on are the following indicators.

#1 Readiness. Just because you think you are ready, doesn’t mean you are. Emotions have a sly way of making you think you’re ready for something you really want. For instance, you may be seeing a ton of your friends getting married and having kids, and since you want the same things, you think you’re ready for those things too.

If you often feel like that, take a step back, and ask yourself if you’re truly ready. Are you mentally prepared for the responsibility? Are you financially capable of taking a huge leap? Are you emotionally ready to deal with the problems that might come up? Are you absolutely, adamantly, undeniably sure that you can handle it right now? [Read: 16 signs you’re not ready for a serious relationship] 

#2 Maturity. Let’s take a trip down memory lane. Think about your first ever significant other, and try to see the difference between them and the type of people you’re most likely to date now. Pretty big difference, right?

As we mature, our wants and needs change, whether in life in general or in relationships. Our maturity level has a lot to do with what we’re capable of doing in a relationship, and this, in turn, can help us determine if we’re in the right relationship at the right time. With that said, it can be pretty frustrating when you meet someone with potential but doesn’t have the maturity to handle the type of relationship you’re after.

#3 Life goals. Another tick that makes your relationship clock tock is the timing of your life goals. If you’ve set goals for yourself that you want to achieve and reach before settling down, it’s important to be aware of that, and remember how important they are to you.

You have to put yourself first when it comes to true love. No matter how much you love someone, if they’re keeping you from reaching your lifelong goal, your relationship will only end up with resentment and regret. It’s important to be with someone who understands what you want in life and allows you to strive for it. [Read: 8 daily reminders to help keep you moving forward]

#4 Experience. All the experiences you have in all the relationships in your life help shape you into the person that you are. These experiences also help you realize what is important to you and help you figure out what kind of person you want to be with in the long run.

If you’ve never experienced the bad things when it comes to relationships, then how would you be able to know when the good things happen? You probably wouldn’t. We all have those moments when we look back at different people we’ve dated, and think about how one ex was actually a great choice for settling down… Too bad you hadn’t had enough experience to know any better.

#5 Circumstances. Our circumstances define us in some way, but just because you might have a negative experience, doesn’t mean you should let that one event define you. So if you’ve never actually thought about dating because you’ve always had to work and provide for yourself, or maybe take care of your family, or had a lot more downs in life than ups, it’s okay to put relationships and dating on the back burner.

Only when you are finally ready to date and put yourself out there will you start figuring out what you want when it comes to relationships. If your timing hasn’t happened yet, and it hasn’t been your time because of all the lemons life has thrown at you, it’s okay, and you’re certainly not alone.

#6 Love vs. infatuation. Figuring out the difference between love and infatuation is extremely important when it comes to relationships, and it is also influenced by timing. When you’re young, it’s easy to confuse love with infatuation because it’s so easy to mistake loving someone with loving the idea of being in love or loving the idea of being loved by someone.

Only time will help you realize that what you once thought was love is actually just lust or infatuation or an intense need to be validated by someone. It’s a tough lesson to learn, but it’s one that we all need to learn at some point. [Read: Limerence, love and infatuation – the real difference]

#7 Careers. This one’s a little pragmatic, but we must all admit that our careers also play a part in our dating life as well. It takes time to cultivate a career and step up the rungs of the career ladder. When you’re at that point when you’re just starting out and figuring out where your career path is headed, balancing a relationship on the side can turn out to be problematic.

This isn’t a matter of choosing between your career or a significant other. However, there are times when you have to put your dating life on hold because your career prospects are starting to open up, and it would be risky to try and split your time and energy between your job and a significant other. [Read: Love or Career? How to make the right choice]

#8 Health issues. Sometimes, our bodies aren’t as cooperative as we want it to be. There are some health issues that get in the way of our daily routines, and in some cases, it can get in the way of a relationship, too. Just imagine meeting someone whom you can see yourself marrying, and then realizing that they’re just not ready to take on the responsibility of taking care of a sick partner.

If you had gotten sick when you’ve been together for a while, you might have a shot. But if you got sick when you’re still at the early stages of dating, well, let’s just say that not everyone has the same amount of resolve as Stephen Hawking’s wife.

[Read: 10 types of love you’ll experience in your life]

You can say that time is on your side or time is working against you. But in the end, you have to acknowledge that the passage of time and timing has a lot of bearing on how your relationships pan out.

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Charley Reid
Charley Reid
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DISCUSSION

4 thoughts on “Timing in Love and Relationships: Why It’s So Important”

  1. Rachelrayne says:

    Timing is everything. I have found that my life has hit a level of readiness for relationship. Through some of the experiences I am even more sure that there is timing to everything. I went through lessons in maturity, readiness, and life goals to get to this point. How my future is shaped is influenced by the things and relationships I have gone through and their timing played a major role.

  2. Stan says:

    You REALLY do need to understand a partner’s life goals and what they hope to achieve because those ideas will shape things along the way. Similarly, you need to be ready to adapt to changing goals because people don’t stay the same throughout their 20s (or really even their 30s). Once you have these sorts of things in check, then the whole idea of timing makes itself a far easier pill to swallow because everything will sort of just fall into place naturally. Avoid those without any goals

  3. relevant says:

    I actually think that love comes in the perfect time. You would know it because destiny would bring you to your potential soulmate. Timing is really important but I really think it shouldn’t stop you from loving someone because time is relative. I’ll say that again. Time is relative. You can spend a billion years in this world thinking that it’s not the right time to fall in love. On the other hand, you could wait a minute and you would say that the time has come for you to be in love. When you found the person, you couldn’t just let go.

  4. Every moment says:

    timing is an important aspect in your relationship because one of you probably is not ready yet for a relationship and it could even be the both of you that are not ready yet. It takes times and patience to wait for the right time but everything will be worth it. I remember last Halloween I picked up some pumpkins and there was this girl that was asking me to stay and listen to her, it was so random, I got hooked on her stories and eventually, we got close. I asked her for her number and if we could go on a date some time, this would be a perfect example that timing doesn’t have to be at the right time. Things at the right time are not the same as timing. It could be time but it’s not the right time. Am I making any sense? If you get what I mean than, we are kindred spirits and high five brother!

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