What is one-sided love? Essentially it is love, but only from one side. Duh. One-sided love is love, but not in the way we know and love. It is not happy and full of sunshine and rainbows.
One-sided love is commonly unrequited love and is met with pain and loneliness. I know, it sounds bad. One-sided love is when you pine for someone who is in a relationship. You aren’t over your ex, but they moved on. It is when you are happy in your relationship, but your partner is ready to leave.
Pretty much, if you haven’t realized it already, one-sided love sucks. [Read: A guide to help you move on when you aren’t loved in return]
Do you have one-sided love?
Sometimes we do not even realize we have one-sided love. Love, as we know, can be blind. We can see things that are there or even things we wish were there. It can be so overpowering we think it conquers all, but when you’re the only one in love, it is not quite that simple.
You know you have one-sided love if the person you love is in a relationship or has made it clear they aren’t interested. But sometimes, it is not so easily seen.
You could be in a relationship but be so in love that you don’t see they are moving on without you. You could love a friend, but when they don’t love you back but you keep hoping. One-sided love often feels like rejection, but other times it is unknown. [Read: Understanding what unrequited love really is]
Our partners can hold back the fact that they don’t love us to shield our feelings. Sometimes we don’t even admit our love because we are so frightened that it is one-sided love.
If any of this sounds familiar to you, you may be suffering from a one-sided love. Does all seem doomed? Perk up. There are a number of ways to get out of one-sided love or what you think is one-sided love. [Read: How to quit attracting unhealthy relationships]
How to cope with one-sided love
Facing one-sided love is not easy. Don’t be fooled by tips and steps. They may sound simple, but getting over one-sided love takes time and patience. Maybe even a few tears.
But, you can do it. And soon enough you could even have two-sided love.
#1 Face it. The first step for moving on is to admit it to yourself. No one wants to think about it. We do not want to admit we are in love with someone who doesn’t return those feelings.
But, once you realize and admit it to yourself, you can take the next step. You won’t pine and dream about what ifs. You can feel the bad stuff and move on. [Read: 18 critical signs of a clearly unhealthy relationship]
#2 Share your feelings. Tell the person who you love how you feel. If it is an ex or a friend, let them know. I know, it can be awkward and uncomfortable, but it can clear things up. It can also provide you closure.
Let them know you need time apart if that is what you need. Share how you are feeling. Who knows, the love may not be one-sided love after all. And if it is, you can finally release that build up and move on.
#3 Look at the positives. Try to look on the bright side. I know with one-sided love, it can feel like there is none, but there is. You know it is one-sided love so you can move on. You deserve to be with someone that loves you back.
Maybe being with them would have hurt your self-esteem or affected your job or your family life. Try to look at the good things that have come out of this. [Read: How to find yourself when you feel like you’ve lost your way]
#4 Take off the rose-colored glasses. The person you love is easily blurred. You see their best qualities, but not their worst. You overlook the things that would drive you nuts if you were together.
Focus on the things you don’t like about them. It could be they text and drive, eat with their mouth open, or that they are a player.
#5 Vent. Reach out to family and friends for some pep. Your friends are great at perking you up and letting you know you are better than this. They let you get it all out and cry, but then they distract you.
They uplift you and tell you the best things about yourself. And soon you will focus on that instead of the rejection of one-sided love.
#6 Focus on the facts, not your doubts. When love is one-sided we focus on why. We think about what we did wrong or what we could have done differently. What if we were taller or thinner? What if we made more money or were funnier?
Get rid of those negative thoughts and think about the facts. If they want someone that isn’t you, it isn’t because you did anything wrong, but you just weren’t meant to be. [Read: What I learned from the man who did not love me back]
#7 You can be sad. Let it all out. Cry. Eat ice cream and lay in bed for a weekend. Your feelings are completely valid. Maybe the relationship ended long ago or there never was a relationship. That does not matter.
If you love them, that is a strong feeling to face. Feel all those feelings, even the bad ones.
#8 Unfollow them. Do not dwell on their current status or who they took a photo with or if they like your photo. That is all pulling you back into the vortex of one-sided love. Sometimes the recipient even does this on purpose to keep you on a leash in a sense.
Don’t let their social media presence keep you hooked. Mute them and move on. [Read: Why do narcissists ignore texts and do the selfish things they do]
#9 Appreciate who does love you back. It can feel like you suck when you have one-sided love. You feel unworthy, but take a step back and look at other parts of your life.
Yeah, maybe you aren’t lucky in romance right now, but you have amazing friends and family and a cute dog or cat. You have plenty of two-sided loves in your life that deserve your attention. [Read: Authentic ways to express your appreciation and gratitude]
#10 Have fun. Get distracted. Go out and have fun. Try new things and go on adventures. Go dancing or bowling or rock climbing. You never know who you might meet or forget.
#11 Focus on other goals. Instead of thinking about your one-sided love, think about that promotion. Think about remodeling your kitchen or making a new recipe every week.
Set goals for yourself outside of romance. Not only will this distract you, but it will also boost your confidence every time you meet a goal.
#12 Work on your confidence. Remind yourself that you are worthy. You are awesome. Just because this one person doesn’t share your feelings doesn’t make you any less amazing.
We are not right for everyone and everyone is not right for us. Do things that bring you confidence. Dress up just for you. Buy yourself a new lipstick or a pair of jeans. Celebrate yourself.
#13 You deserve to be loved back. Drill this into your brain. You deserve someone to love you as much as you love them. You do not want to put your effort into one-sided love. You deserve the same appreciation and caring that you give out.
This is not about what you think you want, but what relationships are formed on. You want a healthy and happy relationship and deserve one. One-sided love is not that. [Read: How to lose feelings for someone and let go of the might have beens]
#14 Don’t change yourself. Do not alter who you are to meet someone else’s expectation. Sure, you can always better yourself, but don’t change your personality, style, or beliefs to be with someone.
Love is when you can be yourself around someone and they love you for it, not in spite of it or because you try to please them. Remember that this one-sided love is not better or more important than finding someone that loves you for you. [Read: How to get out of a toxic relationship with your dignity intact]
#15 Rethink what you’re looking for. And what you are attracted to. For ages, I thought I had a type, but every time I dated someone from that type, it was a mess.
What I did was stick with my comfort zone. I dated the same type of guy that I knew what I could expect, even though I was always shocked when things didn’t work out. Rethink what you go after. Jump out of your comfort zone and date other types of people. You never know who is on the horizon.
[Read: 14 powerful ways to unlove someone in no time]
One-sided love is no fun. What makes love so amazing is both people in it together. But if you think you have one-sided love, you can get out of it. Start by taking that decision, and use these steps.
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