For most people, being in a relationship means that they always have someone to be with, laugh with, share their secrets with, and just keep them company. However, some people still feel like they’re alone in this world, even if they have a boyfriend or girlfriend. And the worst part is that even if you are feeling alone in a relationship, you may not even realize why or how you got to this negative place.
Not only is this a sign of an unhealthy relationship, but it also makes them feel more alone than they’ve ever been, since they’re supposed to be feeling cared for. The truth about feeling alone in a relationship is that it just sucks. Nobody should feel alone when they have someone to share their life with.
Loneliness isn’t always caused by isolation
Some people can be surrounded by a sea of people and still feel as if they’re all alone in the world. They could have the best friends in the entire world, yet they feel like nobody is on their side. As it turns out, loneliness can actually be a mental health disorder. Some people are just programmed to feel lonely, no matter what happens in their life.
The truths about feeling alone in a relationship
In order to really understand what it feels like to be lonely in a relationship, you’ll have to understand the truth behind it. These are 15 truths about feeling alone in a relationship that you probably never knew before.
#1 It can mean your relationship isn’t healthy. The biggest reason that you might feel alone in a relationship is because your relationship isn’t healthy. Feeling lonely when you have someone to share your life with isn’t normal. [Read: 18 critical signs of an unhealthy relationship]
#2 It’s not always your fault. The truth is that not all of your loneliness is your fault. In fact, it might not be your fault at all. Sometimes, the problem can be because your partner isn’t being as supportive as they should be.
Another reason why it isn’t always your fault is that you may have a condition that makes you feel really lonely even if you’re surrounded by people whom you love and care about. [MindBodyGreen.com: How to deal with your loneliness]
#3 It can be the worst feeling in the world. When you’re feeling alone in a relationship, you may feel like you’re failing at life because this is the time when you’re supposed to feel the least alone. Yet there you are, suffering through loneliness with someone right next to you. It really makes you feel even worse about yourself than just being alone. [Read: The 3 stages to embrace and overcome loneliness]
#4 It might be from poor communication. One cause of feeling alone in a relationship is that there’s not a whole lot of communication going on. If you start feeling lonely but you don’t talk to your significant other about it, how are they supposed to help?
Once you do feel alone in your relationship, it becomes harder and harder to open up to your love and tell them what’s going on. It can even be caused by their inability to open up to you, as well. [Read: A guide on effective communication in a relationship]
#5 It’s extremely hard to fix. Only you and your partner can really fix the loneliness that you feel. But since this emotion can snowball into a lot of other problems, you’ll find that it can be really hard to fix once it has gotten to a certain point. This truth about feeling alone in a relationship isn’t great to hear, but it’s accurate. [Read: How to fix a relationship that’s falling apart]
#6 You feel unhappy almost all of the time. Feeling alone in a relationship is basically synonymous with feeling sad all the time. You never really feel happy, because loneliness isn’t something that most people find joy in. You feel like you’re stuck in this never-ending rut that you can’t seem to find your way out of. [Read: 16 signs you’re settling in an unhappy relationship]
#7 You could be shutting your partner out. Have you ever considered that the reason you’re feeling so lonely is because you’re isolating yourself from your partner? There are plenty of people who feel lonely, but it’s because they refuse to share information with their significant other.
You might be in a sad mood, so you feel that you have to keep to yourself in order to protect yourself from hurting anymore. This could be causing your loneliness. [Bustle.com: 5 reasons you feel lonely and what to do about it]
#8 The sex isn’t fun. This is just an honest truth about feeling alone in a relationship. The sex sucks. Great sex requires an intimate connection with your significant other. Thus, if you’re feeling lonely even when you’re with them, the sex won’t be any different. It will feel detached and impersonal. [Read: How to spice up your sex life in 30 sexy ways]
#9 It feels like you’re basically single. This is another cold, hard truth about feeling alone in a relationship. It basically feels like you’re single – except worse. You’re constantly around the person for whom you care the most, yet you don’t feel supported or that you’re part of a team.
#10 You feel like giving up. When you feel alone in a relationship, you oftentimes just want to give up. You may think, “What’s the point of trying to much when I’m just going to feel alone, anyway?” But even if you do feel alone, you should never give up, unless that person truly is making you miserable. Talk to someone and see if there’s a way to solve your problem. [Read: 16 things you need to give up to have a happier life]
#11 You stop talking to them. A lot of people who are feeling alone in a relationship end up self-sabotaging in a way. Maybe they didn’t start by shutting out their partner, but after they feel lonely for so long, they give up and decide that there’s no point in trying to talk to them now.
#12 You don’t want to go anywhere with them. And I don’t blame you. Why would you want to go out and about with someone who makes you feel alone when you’re with them?
The problem with this is that you’re only adding to the problem by isolating yourself from the rest of the world. Trying to go out and have a good time anyway, though, could actually help mend the issue and give you and your partner a chance to open up communication again. [TheEveryGirl.com: 6 signs your relationship isn’t meant to be]
#13 You feel as though your relationship has ended when it’s still going strong. And this can send you into a downward spiral of fear and anxiety. The truth about feeling alone in a relationship is that you may feel as though your relationship has ended or is close to ending, when, in reality, it might be perfectly fine otherwise. [Read: 10 steps to take to tell your partner you’re unhappy]
#14 Your partner usually doesn’t even know. One of the hardest things about feeling alone in a relationship is that your partner might not know how you feel. This just reiterates the fact that you are lonely when your partner doesn’t know about your suffering. If this is the case, you need to talk to them. They will help you if they truly care about you.
#15 You’re always afraid. You’re afraid that the loneliness is a sign that you shouldn’t be with that person. You’re afraid of confronting the issue, you’re afraid of how lonely you might feel if you no longer have a relationship at all.
This fear can be debilitating if you don’t nip it in the bud early. You could end up going down some scary roads, because fear can make people do crazy things. [Read: Loneliness in a relationship: 4 whys and 7 ways to fix it]
The truth about feeling alone in a relationship is simple: it sucks. That being said, finding someone to talk to, whether a friend, family, or your partner, can help you feel yourself again.
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