When it comes to masturbation, you automatically assume: men. Women masturbate too. But it’s usually a taboo subject, so learn how to touch yourself!
When I was a young teen, I didn’t know other women masturbated. I didn’t even know women masturbated in general. No one talked to me about it, my friends didn’t talk about masturbation. I had no idea there were ways to learn how to touch yourself.
But the thing is, whether or not we’re talking about it, women are masturbating. So why aren’t we talking about it? Even Sweden is trying to bring awareness and openness to the subject, calling female masturbation: Klittra. Not sure how I feel about that word, but never mind, it’s better than “flicking the bean.”
How to touch yourself
For women who want to masturbate, finding articles and videos about it isn’t easy. Sure, porn may give you a little sneak peek into what it’s about, but those videos aren’t giving you an honest perspective on female masturbation.
So, if you want to learn how to touch yourself, it’s time for real information that can help you reach the big O. By the big O, I mean orgasm. With some time and lots of practice, you’ll get there, I promise.
So, read the rest of this feature, and by the end, you’ll have the foundation to help you masturbate the right way. Ladies, it’s time you learned how to touch yourself. [Read: How to finger yourself and feel ecstasy]
#1 What works for others may not work for you. You may have tried to copy porn videos or used the advice your friends gave you, but if it’s not working for you, don’t sweat it. When it comes to sexuality, we all enjoy different things. Some women get turned on with anal play, while others need clitoral stimulation. You just need time to find your groove. [Read: How to masturbate – 15 self-pleasure tips for women]
#2 Be in the mood. Masturbation can help relax you after a stressful day at work or put you even in a better mood than you were before. But if you’re not feeling sexual, don’t push yourself to masturbate. There’s nothing wrong with you if you’re not feeling sexual, some days you’ll feel extremely horny, and other days, you’ll feel nothing.
#3 Get to know your vagina. You should know your vagina better than your best friend or family. This is your sexual region, so you better know it well. Know where the vulva, clitoris, and vagina is. Understand their functions. Explore the area with a mirror or your fingers. Just get to know your vagina because this is what’s going to be giving you a lot of pleasure. [Read: Clitoris stimulation: 10 sexy ways to please it the right way]
#4 Find a distraction-free space. If you’re nervous your parents are going to walk into your bedroom, you won’t have a relaxing experience. You need to have a distraction-free experience. Put your phone away, make sure people aren’t going to disrupt you, and that you have enough time to really get into it.
#5 Practice makes perfect. You’re not going to master the art of touching yourself if you do it every leap year. What did your mom use to tell you? “Practice makes perfect!” She probably didn’t think you were going to use this quote for masturbating, but you should follow her advice. You need to practice touching yourself, seeing what stimulates you, and what isn’t doing the trick.
#6 Start with dry humping. Before your hands even make it near your vagina, try dry humping with your clothes on. Use a pillow or anything soft to grind your vulva against it. It’ll work by creating friction against your clitoris, you’ll feel a tingling sensation. From there, you should continue grinding against the object, testing out different pressures and positions. You’ll find a rhythm that stimulates you the best. [Read: Pillow humping 101 – Give that pillow a workout]
#7 Get handsy. You have two hands for a reason, to learn how to touch yourself. You probably know about dildos and vibrators, but before you use one of them, use your hands first. I’m not saying toys are bad, but you don’t want to become dependent on them.
So, take the organic approach first and learn the speeds, pressure, and technique which turns you on.
#8 Focus on the clitoris. Once you become a seasoned masturbator, you’ll know exactly what turns you on. As for now, the best way to arouse yourself is through clitoral stimulation. This is because the clit is filled with thousands of nerve endings. It’s the most sensitive part of your genitals. Massage your clit gently, rubbing it up and down, side to side. Then, start rubbing faster once you feel your clit getting wetter. [Read: How to stimulate the clitoris by touching it the right way]
#9 Test out different techniques. There are different techniques for masturbation, try out some of these different strokes:
– Rub your clitoris with multiple fingers or your entire hand.
– Don’t directly touch your clit, instead, with one finger, circle around it.
– With your underwear on, rub your clitoris above the fabric.
– Pull on your labia, rubbing your clitoris through the folds.
– Tap your clitoris with one or two fingers.
#10 If you’re a little dry, use some lube. Your vagina may not become too wet which is okay. If you’re feeling it needs a little more moisture down there, then use some lubricant. It’ll help your finger glide smoothly across your clitoris, adding more sensitivity and stimulation. [Read: How to have sex with yourself and learn what turns your body on]
#11 Try anal play. You don’t need to try this out on your first day, but with time, if you’re curious about your butt, then experiment on your own. You can circle your anus with your finger, press up against your anus with your finger or insert your finger inside your anus. Just make sure you’re using some lube.
#12 Don’t focus on having an orgasm. I know you want to experience an orgasm, and you will, but it shouldn’t be the focus. When you’re touching yourself, if the entire goal is an orgasm, you won’t have one. You need to be present in the moment and if you have an orgasm, you have one.
#13 Use a toy. But not right away! After you’ve become comfortable with masturbating naturally, you can always up the arousal factor by using a toy. You can test out a dildo or vibrator. You may have to try a couple of them before finding one which really does the trick. But remember, don’t rely on sex toys for all your pleasure, make sure you mix it up. [Read: Understanding how to use a dildo correctly]
#14 Be patient. You’re not going to achieve an orgasm overnight. In fact, it may take months and months just for you to figure out what feels good. It takes time, what can I say? You just need to be patient and keep practicing.