Let’s just get this not-so-secret secret out of the way: women masturbate… a lot. While most women tend to stick to the clit when riding solo, there are many who are curious about having a more ‘digitally’ arousing experience. And no, we’re not talking about porn. We’re talking about learning how to pleasure yourself with your fingers!
To those who are new to the world of female masturbation, fingering yourself refers to penetrating your vagina with – you guessed it – your fingers!
If you’re just learning how to pleasure yourself using nothing but your own fingers, you’re probably wondering if there’s a right or a wrong way to do it. The answer? Unlike other sexually liberal ‘do whatever you want’ answers, we’re going to have to go with a big fat YES on this one. There is a definitely a wrong way to finger yourself. And since we want you to have the best solo sex ever, we’re telling you exactly how to finger yourself without incident.
Why you would ever want to know how to pleasure yourself with your fingers?
If you’ve never done the act before, or have been perfectly happy with clitoral stimulation in your sex life, you may be wondering why in the world anyone would want to climax through penetration.
After all, science tells us that up to 80% of women have trouble having an orgasm through penetrative sex. The bottom line? A large majority of women need clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm. [Read: How to finger yourself – 15 moves to bring yourself to ecstasy]
Here are the most common reasons:
#1 Curiosity. Probably the number one reason girls learn how to finger themselves is out of curiosity. We’re taught that this is the epicenter of sex. This is where the magic happens. Just don’t be too disappointed that fireworks aren’t going off the first time you do it. Many women enjoy the feeling of being fingered, but many do not. It’s all about personal preference, so get curious and find out what you like.
#2 Preparing for sex. Did you ever have the one friend who just had to use a tampon instead of a pad because she was determined to get rid of her hymen before she had sex? This is common among teenage girls. This goes along with the thought that fingering yourself will give you a better idea of what sex is going to feel like *not even close!* and the hope that breaking the hymen before partner penetration will make sex more enjoyable. [Read: How I lost my virginity – 15 stories that are not so sexy]
#3 Pleasure. Especially for those who have already experienced penetration, fingering yourself can add an extra element to masturbation. A lot of girls like the feeling of being “filled up” while they are stimulating their clit. If we’re being honest, a toy or a penis does a much, much better job of this, but when in lieu, your warm fingers can do the trick.
What you’re looking for
For those who have never fingered themselves before, you may have a couple questions about the inside of your vagina. For example, what does it feel like? Press your tongue against the side of your cheek where it feels the most slick and rubbery. This is what the inside of your vagina feels like… only with ridges. Where is the G-spot – does it exist? Here’s what you’re looking for when you enter the cave of wonders.
#1 Find your G-spot. The G-spot is still a hot button topic that has people asking, “Does this thing really exist?” Many girls and studies say the G-spot is just a myth. Still others insist this padded wall inside your vagina is the absolute pleasure zone. If you’re a believer, the G-spot is allegedly located 2-3 inches inside the vagina on the wall closest to the stomach. [Read: How to find your G-spot without using a flashlight]
Loyal MD has a fantastic reference photo for finding the G-spot. This area should feel rougher and more rigid than other areas inside. Some women feel this area becomes enlarged during arousal and becomes an orgasmic hotspot *others feel nothing at all!*
#2 Find the clit. Most people don’t realize that the majority of the clit is found inside the body. So if you’re looking for an orgasmic experience, use your fingers to locate the bottom half of your clit and start rubbing it with the same motions you would use on your top half.
#3 Just explore. In the end, you don’t need a reason to finger yourself. Just explore! The best way to find out what’s going to get you off is by exploring your body and seeing what feels good… and what should be avoided. [Read: The 15 sexy benefits of masturbation and going solo]
How to prep your fingers for fingering
Before you learn how to pleasure yourself with your fingers, it’s important to start prepping! Here are two major finger rules to keep in mind before you lube up. [Read: 10 female masturbation tips for guaranteed orgasmic bliss]
#1 Keep your fingers clean. Fingers should be washed before entry, and under your nails should be completely cleaned. Any dirt or bacteria left on your fingers *or anything that goes inside of you* may lead to infection. We don’t care how good your orgasm was, nothing is worth the side effects of a yeast infection.
#2 Cut your nails short. There’s no way this is going to feel good inside your vagina. Long, sharp, embellished nails are a huge no-no if they’re going up inside you. What if a pearl or a bead gets loose and decides to make a forever home in your vagina? Instead of gambling on that horrifying thought, keep your nails trim for ultimate pleasure.
Tips and tricks to pleasure yourself with your fingers
We’ve reached the final destination. Here, you’re going to learn how to pleasure yourself in style. Here are some tips and tricks on fingering yourself with ease. [Read: Female masturbation – 17 facts about the naughty secret]
#1 Wait until you’re excited before entering. As with any type of penetration, you should wait until you’re really excited before entering. This will give the vagina time to become aroused and expand to fit your fingers. Sure, you can slather yourself with lube and force your way in, but it’s not going to feel as good. Start with clitoral masturbation, and slowly work your way in.
#2 Always use lube. Unless you’ve naturally created a slip ‘n slide in your pants, it’s time to bust out the lube. Use your favorite water-based lube and wet your fingers and your entrance.
#3 Spread ‘em. Lay back with your back propped on an angle on your comfiest pillows. Spread your legs and get ready. [Read: How to masturbate – All the sexy self-pleasure tips for women]
#4 Insert. Once excited enough, start by inserting your middle finger inside your vagina. Go slowly and start to feel around to see what feels good. Once you’re comfortable, you may choose to insert another finger for added girth.
#5 Don’t force it. If you’re feeling uncomfortable, simply adjust the angle of your fingers. Vaginas aren’t all made the same. For example, women with a tilted uterus may find certain positions or angles uncomfortable during penetration. Bottom line? Don’t force it! Penetration is supposed to feel good, so if it doesn’t, or if you’re getting totally squeamish touching the inside of your body, stop.
#6 Play with your clit at the same time. Many women find their orgasms are more intense when they are being penetrated while massaging their clit. Dual stimulation is always best! While fingering yourself, use the palm of your hand, a vibrator, or your opposite hand to stimulate your clit at the same time. This makes for leg tingling, orgasm-worthy dual stimulation. [Read: Pillow humping 101 – How to use your pillows for powerful orgasms]
#7 Play with positions. If you don’t happen to be Stretch Armstrong, fingering yourself may not be the most comfortable sexual activity you’ve ever participated in. If this is the case for you, try switching up your positions. Laying down with your back propped up is the most comfortable position, but not the most convenient, especially if you have shorter arms.
Sitting on the edge of a chair allows for deeper penetration and easy access to your vagina. Standing up or squatting like you would for cowgirl sex both make for an easy reach. Experiment with different positions, and find what works best for you.
[Read: Female masturbation and 17 facts about this naughty secret]
If you’ve never done the deed then just know this: fingering yourself should never require yoga lessons. In fact, all it should require is some trimmed fingernails, lube, and a free afternoon. So get your pillows propped and get ready to learn how to pleasure yourself with your fingers.
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Waverly Smith is a freelance writer who has been getting paid for spreading her sarcastic take on love, life, and sex since 2010. She is many things that peo...
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