Female sexuality has always been the stuff of legends, whispered amongst young boys’ a-la-Virgin Suicides or amongst teenage boys in dingy gym locker rooms. Conversations about it among young women are almost always in hushed female voices in the cramped corners of girls’ bathrooms or inside the harsh whiteness of the school clinic, after an epidemic of crabs sent a quarter of the seniors in for a prescription.
Society has treated female sexuality as some form of taboo. Seldom is it the subject of sexual education classes. If at all, it is portrayed as a mere reproductive organ, something that receives semen and gives birth, something that contracts diseases and spreads them, never as an organ of pleasure, or at least, of female pleasure.
In a world where porn portrays female pleasure and sexuality so differently from real life, it is absolutely necessary for these questions to be answered, so as to dispel myths that not only men believe, but sadly, women too.
We all know where the vagina and, hopefully, the clitoris is. Some swear to have the holy grail of female pleasure, the G-spot, but fewer still can actually find it. Here are some information about the female sexual organs that you’re just dying to ask.
#1 What is the clitoris?
The clitoris is that little nub of skin above the vulva. However, the clitoris is not just that. It is a small glans with a head and two feet that encircles the vagina. Think of an iceberg with the visible tip, and with two legs underneath giving the vaginal wall a hug. So if you’re having vaginal sex, you’re actually having a little clitoral stimulation, too.
#2 Why does it feel good?
The clitoris has about 8,000 nerve endings *twice of those found on the penis*, packed in such a small space, thus the awesome feeling during clitoral stimulation. It inflates during sexual arousal, making it easier to find. It also deflates when she orgasms, so that’s how you can know when she’s faking it or not. [Read: 10 easy ways to know if your girl’s faking an orgasm]
#3 What is the G-spot?
The G-spot is a ridged part in the interior wall of the vagina that provides pleasure to women who have it. Named after German doctor Ernst Grà¤fenberg, the G-spot is thought to be a swollen urethral sponge, according to Beverly Whipple’s theory. However, some people say it is actually the internal structure of the clitoris. Well, whatever it is, it feels good, so have fun.
#4 Where is it and how can one find it?
It is located about 2-3 inches inside the vagina, on the upper wall. To find it, insert your finger in her vagina, and about 2-3 inches in, do the come-hither finger gesture. If she undulates with pleasure, congratulations! You just found the Holy Grail! [Read: Magic fingers – The sexual art of fingering a girl the right way]
Jillin’ off, flicking the bean, double clicking the mouse, stroking the kitty, and doing the two-finger salute. These are just some of the terms used to make light of female masturbation. We all know men do it, but what about women?
#1 Do women masturbate?
YES. A certain percentage of women admit to touching themselves regularly, and numbers go as high as 92% by different statistics. However, due to social pressure, some women deny doing so. Nonetheless, there is also a certain percentage of women that don’t feel the need or desire to Jill off, as you may. Either way, it’s perfectly normal.
#2 How often do women masturbate?
It depends. According to the 2009 Indiana University National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, the answer depends on the age of the women in question. Between the ages of 18-24, 24% of women do it a few times a month or weekly, and 28%, a few times a year or monthly. The numbers go up as high as 35-38% of women in their 30s to 40s, but only a few times per year or monthly. On the other hand, about 7-9% of women from 18-39 ride the two-legged cowboy about 3-4 times a week. [Read: The creepiest sex toys women use to masturbate]
#3 How do women masturbate?
Female masturbation is primarily done through clitoral stimulation and some vaginal penetration, mostly with the fingers of the dominant hand. However, some women use sex toys, such as dildos and vibrators, with the latter as the favorite. In recent years, the goddesses of female sexuality have answered the prayers of women everywhere with a sex toy that mimics cunnilingus—the Sqweel and the Lelo Ora. Amen!
#4 How are women turned on?
Certainly not by your dick pic! Women don’t get turned on by a disembodied body part, rather, they are turned on by the person attached to it and the way that person makes her feel. Most of the time, we get turned on by something we read or a sexy memory of that awesome thing our partner did last week, but then, the desire wanes after a few minutes.
To sustain desire, women either watch something sexy or read some racy novel, and fantasize about it. Most of the time, it’s just imagination and the memory of every awesome move and sensation a guy made us feel. So stock up on it, men, and be the hero of our fantasies. [Read: What turns a woman on, sexually or otherwise?]
The female orgasm and its mysteries
The female orgasm is the stuff of legends. Women crave it, and great men make it their mission to provide it. Here are some facts to help shed light to this mystery:
#1 Female orgasm, what is that?
The correct question is “What are THOSE?” There are about 4 documented types of female orgasms, and they’re all pretty achievable. Awesome, right?
– Clitoral orgasm is one that results from clitoral stimulation. With its 8,000 nerve endings, the glans clitoris is a fountain of pleasure that is sure to keep you gushing. For an even better clitoral stimulation, try not to hit the bull’s eye directly. Focus on the outlying parts first before homing in. [Read: 10 surefire ways to know if she’s faking an orgasm]
– Vaginal orgasm is a combination of the stimulation from the nerve endings located on the first 1-2 inches from the vaginal opening, the woman’s partner hitting the front wall of her vagina, and the more elusive G-spot stimulation. It is entirely different from the clitoral orgasm, and it is not as easily achievable, contrary to what porn may tell you.
– Blended orgasm is a double whammy of orgasms, resulting from simultaneous arousal from vaginal penetration and clitoral stimulation. It is said to be the most powerful of female orgasms, one that she won’t easily forget. [Read: A guy’s guide to making a woman squirt while having a orgasm!]
– Multiple orgasms is the kind of orgasm that happens one after the other, with very little space in between. It’s not for every woman, only those who can tolerate being stimulated further during and after the first orgasm. However, when experienced, women swear it feels like being bombarded with wave after wave of pleasure. [Read: The magnificent journey to achieving multiple orgasms]
#2 Nipple orgasm, is there such a thing?
It’s an orgasm brought about by nipple stimulation alone. Some women swear by having experienced it. It’s on the same league as exercise-based orgasm, where the woman gets aroused and eventually comes through exercise alone, particularly yoga and some other core exercise.
Another is the mind orgasm where women can achieve sexual pleasure by mere meditation. The common theme here is that the female mind is a powerful thing, allowing her to experience an orgasm without direct sexual contact.
#3 How does a female orgasm feel like?
If what you’ve only ever seen is porn, then you’re wrong. Porn movies portray the female orgasm as similar to a male orgasm—one big, earthshattering event, and then nothing else. However, more accurately, a female orgasm is more like the ocean hitting the beach. Small waves of pleasure hit the beach at steady rhythms, then there will be a calm where she feels like she’s accumulating pressure, then she’ll let go, unleashing a giant tidal wave of pleasure to rock her body.
And it will not be just one tidal wave. She’ll have a tidal wave of pleasure, followed by more less-powerful but still pleasurable ones. Until at last, she’ll rest, satiated and awashed by the sensual bliss dealt to her. [Read: How to last way longer in bed and satisfy your woman]
#4 Squirting or the female ejaculate, is it real?
If that American Pie movie is to be believed, women in the throes of passion will expel a liquid similar to a man’s cum. This is entirely different from the lubrication that women secrete during sexual arousal, which comes from the Bartholin’s gland. A small percentage of women admit to squirting during an orgasm, while the bigger percentage hasn’t experienced anything like it, relegating squirting into some sort of mystery.
Fortunately, a 2015 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine examined the female ejaculate, and found that it contains uric acid and creatinine *the components of urine*, as well as PSA or Prostatic Specific Antigen. The latter is a small amount of liquid secreted by the female prostate called the Skene’s glands. The study concludes that squirting is just involuntary urination, but with a little ejaculate. Mystery solved!
[Read: How to satisfy a woman in bed and make sex exciting]
There are a lot of myths and speculations about female sexuality, and the only way to bring them to light is to ask questions. Ask women. Ask your partners. If they trust you, they’ll answer. If they don’t know the answer, then tag along as she explores and discovers her sexuality, with your help, of course. Have fun!
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