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Mutual Masturbation: 14 Intimate Ways to Connect without Touching

People usually think that sex has to involve penetration. However, there’s a way to orgasm without even touching each other – mutual masturbation.

Mutual Masturbation

Everyone who has had sex knows what’s going on. Make out, take off clothes, touch each other, and then bam! Slide that guy right in. I mean, it’s not rocket science. However, sometimes the ol’ routine can become a little yawn-worthy.

So, you need to switch it up a bit to get that tension back in the bedroom. And mutual masturbation is a great way to not only practice your finger techniques, but also to get your partner visually stimulated while you touch yourself. I mean, think about it. It’s pretty hot.

14 things to know about mutual masturbation

And you thought you could only do it alone in the shower. Ha! Absolutely not. While most people think of masturbation as being a solo activity, it’s also something you can enjoy with your partner. So here is what you need to know about mutual masturbation.

#1 What are the basics? Okay, so mutual masturbation is pretty straight-forward. You’re going to masturbate in front of your partner while they masturbate in front of you. There are no loopholes, no catches. You guys take off your pants and touch yourselves face-to-face. [Read: How to masturbate – 14 sexy self-pleasure tips for women]

#2 It’s going to be awkward at first. There’s going to be a moment in the beginning where you’re going to be uncomfortable. I get it… masturbation is usually done in privacy without any viewers.

But after a few seconds, you and your partner are going to get into the mood and then any uncomfortable feeling you thought you had will quickly vanish. When I mean quickly, I mean quickly. Trust me.

#3 Talk about it with your partner first. If you’re starting to masturbate in front of your partner, tell them what you want to happen. Tell them that you want them to start touching themselves and direct them where you want them to be sitting or standing. But let them also tell you if your position isn’t really doing anything for them as well. It’s not all about you, sadly.

#4 Set the scene. If this is your first time and you’re not completely comfortable with someone staring at you while masturbating, well, no one said you had to do it under business lighting. Dim the lights, and make it a relaxing environment for both yourself and your partner. [Read: Blindfold sex – 14 sensual ways to use blindfolds in bed]

#5 It’s all in the eyes. Okay, so this took me a while to do because I felt so weird staring at someone while I touched myself. I usually ended up laughing – the eye contact was just too intense.

So, when you’re ready try to give your partner eye contact, you don’t have to stare them down. This isn’t a contest, but eye contact brings more intimacy into the scene.

#6 It’s all about the touch. This is your chance to allow yourself to explore your body. You don’t have to start off right in your crotch area. You can start by touching your lips, neck, stomach – wherever you’re receiving pleasure. This is also a good opportunity to see where your partner gets turned on. [Read: How to give yourself an orgasm –  15 sizzling hots tips that really work]

#7 Change positions. You don’t have to be spread eagle in front of them. You can switch up the positions and masturbate in front of them while in doggy or cowgirl. The various positions will allow you to move your body differently, entering from the front or behind.

Whether you’re a man or woman, switching the positions can increase the sexual tension. [Read: 20 hot sex ideas to blow your lover’s mind in bed]

#8 Take turns. Okay, so remember how I said mutual masturbation was when two people masturbated at the same time? Right, okay, so it doesn’t have to be at the same time. You can switch it up by taking turns. It can actually help you in focusing your attention onto your partner instead of your own crotch.

#9 Don’t forget the bum. As much as people like to think that the anus is a taboo area, it’s not. People love the anus. People love touching it and having it touched. It’s just time we all got over it.

So, while masturbating, if you’re an anus fan, don’t forget to pleasure your anus in front of your partner. They’ll love it.

#10 When it comes to the big O. When you’re about to orgasm, let your partner know. You can try to orgasm at the same time, which, if you do, I salute you. It’s quite a challenge. However, if you orgasm before your partner, continue touching yourself and keeping eye contact – if they don’t orgasm by that, well, I’ll be shocked.

#11 You can use sex toys. When you masturbate on your own, you may use a sex toy, right? It’s not a bad thing. So, when you’re masturbating in front of your partner, why not bring some sex toys into the mix? A dildo or vibrator can add much some stimulation and will hit your erogenous zones – the zones you want to be stimulated. [Read: 13 couples’ sex toys for naughty first timers]

#12 Don’t hide your need to masturbate. Listen, I know so many people who hide the fact that they masturbate when they’re in a relationship. Of course you’re going to masturbate – even when you’re in a relationship. Some days, your partner won’t be home or they won’t feel like having sex.

And so what are you going to do? Sit and pout? No! So, if you feel like you want to do mutual masturbation with your partner, express this. It’s not something you need to hide. [Read: Slippery when wet – Make shower sex sizzle with these tips]

#13 What if they don’t want to? Well, if they feel uncomfortable with the idea of mutual masturbation, personally, I would respect their opinion. However, I would eventually try masturbating beside them in bed and see their reaction.

Maybe it’s just that they’re unsure of what to do or uncomfortable with the term, mutual masturbation. You never know, maybe after a couple seconds, they’ll be joining in. [Read: How to finger yourself – 15 moves to bring yourself to ecstasy]

#14 You can use it as a stepping stone. If you’re unsure yet if you want to have sex with someone, however, you’re on their couch, pantless and you’re enjoying it, then why not try mutual masturbation instead?

You still get to orgasm without having sex, so it’s a win-win. However, if you don’t want to have sex with that person, I would ask yourself why.

[Read: Going solo – 15 sexy benefits of masturbation]

Ah yes, the wonderful world of mutual masturbation. Give it a test drive with your partner and see their reaction. They definitely won’t be yawning. 

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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