When it comes to sex, nothing is ever as easy as it sounds. Whether on your own or with a partner, sometimes it can be a challenge to find out how to get turned on and what makes you go wild. And then there are some instances where you just don’t feel like having sex. It’s important to know the difference.
But before you even get in bed with someone, spending some time on your own, experimenting with masturbating can be a liberating and educational experience. But it’s not just about masturbating, it’s the entire experience which helps you find certain things which set you off. [Read: The sexy moves you need to try out on yourself tonight]
How to get turned on
At the same time, being with a partner also helps as they do things to you which you can’t physically do to yourself or are completely unaware of. Basically, what I’m trying to get at, spend time on your own seeing what turns you on. But, also find a partner that you trust to touch and feel you certainly helps you out.
When it comes to sex, the options are endless. Because, let’s face it, the human body is weird. But that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. It’s time to know your body and figure out how to get turned on all by yourself.
#1 Play around with yourself on your own. Like I said, it’s important to spend some quality alone time with you and your body. Of course, you’ll see what turns you on with a partner, but when alone, you remove some of the pressure that may come with being with someone in bed. This is your time. Your alone time to explore your body and sexuality. [Read: This is how you learn what turns your body on]
#2 Learn your natural sex drive. Everyone is different. Maybe you can go without masturbating for days or weeks, but then there are other people that need to masturbate on a daily basis.
The point is, not everything is going to turn you on. There will be moments when you’re not feeling sexual. You don’t have to force yourself to be turned on though. This is just your natural sex drive. [Read: The 10 things you should do if you have a dwindling sex drive]
#3 Give yourself time. You need time to get turned on. Sure, there are some cases where it hits you like a bus. But most likely, you’ll need twenty or thirty minutes to even get into the mood.
Think of yourself like a car that’s been sitting in snow the entire day. The engine is cold, so you wait for the car to warm up a bit before you drive it. So, spend some time having foreplay.
#4 Focus on your body. When we’re going to have sex with someone, we tend to spend more time focusing on their needs and what they want. Screw that. Listen, take into consideration things that they like, but, you also want to feel pleasure. Pay close attention to your body and how it reacts, that way, you see what movements or actions stimulate you the most. [Read: 17 naughty secrets about female masturbation you need to know]
#5 Turn the light on. That’s right, you heard me. I said keep that light on. So many couples have sex with the light off, but here’s the thing, we’re visual beings. We like to see, touch, taste, smell. Honestly, seeing your partner enjoying themselves can be a huge turn on. So, instead of making it pitch black, keep at least some light on so you see your partner’s body in motion.
#6 Play with your imagination. Now, this may not be for everyone, but you don’t know until you try. Maybe you always wanted to have sex with a nurse or a firefighter, well, now’s your chance. Use your imagination when having sex and see if your fantasies actually turn you on when brought to real life. This actually enhances your sexual experience and really turns you on. [Read: How to fantasize about someone else and not feel guilty]
#7 Watch a kinky movie. Let me tell ya, when I watch Magic Mike or even parts of Fifty Shades of Grey, it’s on. I can’t help it, something about the half-naked men grinding that just does it for me. Turn on a spicy movie and fast forward it to the naughty scenes. You may feel a little tingle in your groin area, and if that happens, you’re on the right track. [Read: The naughtiest borderline porn titles on Netflix]
#8 Be naked. I know all of us have our own issues with our bodies which is normal, but aside from our insecurities, walking around the house completely naked is highly liberating. Let’s just say, the power makes you horny. You’re naked, you’re feeling sexy, so why wouldn’t you be turned on? I mean, look at you, you’re hot.
#9 Watch porn. Now, porn doesn’t always turn people on, and that’s because most of it looks way too fake and the beauty standards in it are insane. But there’s amateur porn or feminist porn which brings sex back to reality.
It’s sexual, it’s sensual, but it’s also real. You’re not looking at people that don’t relate to you. Instead, these people are just like you and me. And at the end of the day, that’s sexy.
#10 Think about the past. In most cases, leave the past behind but when it comes to sex. Good sex? Well, why not dust off those memories? Some of your past sexual experiences may have been really hot, and you just can’t throw those away. When you’re in your bed alone, think about those hot, steamy sexual encounters you had. I’m sure it’ll turn you on.
#11 Dance to some sexy music. Have you seen Beyonce’s music video for Partition? Well, watch it. It’s hot. But aside from the video, the song itself is very sexy and sensual. Why not give a little lap dance or practice your sexy moves in your bedroom? You’ll move your body however you want. Once you get into it, it’ll feel amazing, trust me. [Read: Revamp yourself to reveal the hot and sexy YOU hiding inside]
#12 Read something naughty. There’s tons of erotic literature available for you to read. And since there’s no visuals, you imagine the characters all in your head. Making it even more sexual. Whatever you’re into, there’s definitely a book written about it.
[Read: 25 horny ways to increase your sex drive and keep it high]
Now that you know how to get turned on, try out some of these methods. Some may work wonders for you while others may not hit the spot. Everyone is different. So, have fun testing it out.
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