When it comes to sex, nothing is ever as easy as it sounds. Whether on your own or with a partner, sometimes it can be a challenge to find out how to get turned on and what makes you go wild. And then there are some instances where you just don’t feel like having sex. It’s important to know the difference.
But before you even get in bed with someone, spending some time on your own, experimenting with masturbating can be a liberating and educational experience.
But it’s not just about masturbating, it’s the entire experience that helps you find certain things which set you off.
[Read: How to make yourself horny – 25 powerful ways to get there fast]
Put simply – how can you expect your partner to know what turns you on if you don’t know yourself?
Stop putting all the hard work on their shoulders and start taking control of your own sexual pleasure! Everyone is turned on by different things; there is no ‘one size fits all’ answer here. By understanding how to get turned on, you’ll be able to enjoy your solo sessions and also show your partner just what gets you hot and horny.
Of course, that means your sex life is always going to be ten times better than before. How could it not be?
Exploring your hotspots can be done alone or with your partner – you could try mixing it up and doing both.
Try new things, go with what feels good and explore it a little more. The only way to find out what works for you is to play around a little. It’s the best kind of game out there! [Read: How to make yourself wet – 19 ways to get all lubed up and horny]
Masturbation is great fun but, at the same time, being with a partner also helps as they do things to you which you can’t physically do to yourself or are completely unaware of.
Basically, spend time on your own seeing what turns you on, but also know that finding a partner that you trust certainly helps you out too.
When it comes to sex, the options are endless. Let’s face it, the human body is weird. But that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. It’s time to know your body and figure out how to get turned on all by yourself.
It’s important to spend some quality alone time with you and your body. Of course, you’ll see what turns you on with a partner, but when alone, you remove some of the pressure that may come with being with someone in bed.
This is your time. Your alone time to explore your body and sexuality. [Read: How to have sex with yourself and learn what turns your body on]
Everyone is different. Maybe you can go without masturbating for days or weeks, but then there are other people that need to masturbate on a daily basis.
The point is, not everything is going to turn you on. There will be moments when you’re not feeling sexual. You don’t have to force yourself to be turned on, it’s simply your natural sex drive. [Read: 25 horny ways to increase your sex drive and keep it revving high]
You need time to get turned on. Sure, there are some cases where it hits you like a bus. But most likely, you’ll need twenty or thirty minutes to even get into the mood. Learning how to get turned on isn’t like snapping your fingers, it’s about building up slowly.
Think of yourself like a car that’s been sitting in the snow the entire day. The engine is cold, so you wait for the car to warm up a bit before you drive it. So, spend some time having foreplay and enjoy it – this is your time!
When we’re going to have sex with someone, we tend to spend more time focusing on their needs and what they want. Screw that.
Listen, take into consideration things that they like, but, you also want to feel pleasure. Pay close attention to your body and how it reacts, that way, you see what movements or actions stimulate you the most.
Learning how to get turned on is as much about you and your mind, as what they do. [Read: 17 naughty secrets about female masturbation you need to know]
That’s right, you heard us! We said keep that light on. So many couples have sex with the lights off, but here’s the thing – we’re visual beings.
We like to see, touch, taste, smell. Honestly, seeing your partner enjoying themselves can be a huge turn on. So, instead of making it pitch black, keep at least some light on so you see your partner’s body in motion. [Read: Lights on or off? The real score on bedroom lighting]
Now, this may not be for everyone, but you don’t know until you try. Maybe you always wanted to have sex with a nurse or a firefighter, well, now’s your chance.
Use your imagination when having sex and see if your fantasies actually turn you on when brought to real life. This actually enhances your sexual experience and really turns you on. [Read: How to fantasize about someone else while having sex and not feel guilty]
Perhaps when you watch Magic Mike or even parts of Fifty Shades of Grey, it’s on – you don’t know until you try!
Turn on a spicy movie and fast forward it to the naughty scenes. You may feel a little tingle in your groin area, and if that happens, you’re on the right track. [Read: The naughtiest borderline porn titles on Netflix]
It’s true that most of us have issues with our bodies, but aside from our insecurities, walking around the house completely naked is highly liberating.
Let’s just say, the power makes you horny. You’re naked, you’re feeling sexy, so why wouldn’t you be turned on? Come on, look at you, you’re hot. This also has the added benefit of slowly making you far more accepting of your body and body confidence in general.
Now, porn doesn’t always turn people on, and that’s because most of it looks way too fake and the beauty standards in it are insane. But there’s amateur porn or feminist porn which brings sex back to reality.
It’s sexual, it’s sensual, but it’s also real. You’re not looking at people that don’t relate to you. Instead, these people are just like us. And at the end of the day, that’s sexy. [Read: Porn for women – Why do we like it and where can we find it?]
When watching porn, be sure to select your title carefully. Some porn films are catered exclusively towards men and don’t really show women in natural or “real” sexual states. It’s all super-airbrushed and can make you feel inadequate if you believe it to be real.
Take it with a pinch of salt and know that, at the end of the day, it’s designed to turn people on, not to be authentic.
In most cases, leave the past behind, except when it comes to sex. Good sex? Well, why not dust off those memories?
Some of your past sexual experiences may have been really hot, and you just can’t throw those away. When you’re in your bed alone, think about those hot, steamy sexual encounters you had. We’re sure it’ll turn you on.
Have you seen Beyonce’s music video for Partition? Well, it’s old, but watch it. It’s hot. But aside from the video, the song itself is very sexy and sensual.
Why not give a little lap dance or practice your sexy moves in your bedroom? You’ll move your body however you want. Once you get into it, it’ll feel amazing, trust us. [Read: Revamp yourself to reveal the hot and sexy YOU hiding inside]
There’s tons of erotic literature available for you to read. And since there are no visuals, you imagine the characters all in your head. Making it even more sexual.
Whatever you’re into, there’s definitely a book written about it. If not, why not try your hand at writing your own? You don’t have to show it to anyone unless you want to, but you can delve deep into your fantasies!
If you’re really keen to learn how to get turned on, try this. Close the curtains, set the scene, get undressed, and let your hand wander. You don’t have to do anything specific or even try and stimulate a specific part of you – yet.
All you need to do is touch yourself all over. Run your hands over your body and really zone in on the sensations.
Does it feel tingly? Do you get the feeling like you want to move your hand elsewhere? You could even use a massage oil and give yourself a personal massage too. Simply running your hands over your naked skin could be all it takes to really get turned on. [Read: How to turn yourself on with your senses and enjoy every inch of yourself]
If you have a willing partner, why not try dirty talk?
For sure, the first time you do it, it will probably feel super-cringe. But, stick with it. Talking dirty can be all it takes to get the fires burning down below.
Talk to your partner about what you want to do to them or about a specific fantasy you have. Tell them what you want them to do to you. You don’t have actually act any of this out right now, unless you want to, of course. But, the chances are that by the end, you’ll both be so turned on you can’t help yourselves. [Read: 20 beginner dirty talk examples to get them in the mood for fun]
We just mentioned giving yourself a massage, but why not ask your partner to do it for you? You’ll be totally de-stressed by the end of it, and probably quite turned on too.
The key to learning how to get turned on is to understand that much of it is in the mind. If you’re stressed out and thinking about all the things you need to do that day, you’re not going to find it easy to turn yourself on.
However, if you’re totally relaxed, you’ll find that the tingles are never too far away!
It’s important to remember that everyone is different. Just because your friend gets their kicks from watching porn, doesn’t mean it’s going to do anything for you. We all have different tastes and preferences.
What you need to do is explore a little and find out what yours are. That can only be done by trial and error. So, work your way through these suggestions and see which ones get you tingling and which don’t. [Read: How to touch yourself -16 touches that’ll always leave you satisfied]
Some might not work at all for you, but they may work really well for someone else. The good news is that there are sure to be a few that do hit the right notes.
Comparisons won’t serve you well when it comes to exploring your sexual side. You’re an individual and that means your sex life is just as unique.
[Read: How to make yourself squirt and experience your first squirting orgasm – The complete guide you’ll ever need]
Now that you know how to get turned on, try out some of these methods. Some may work wonders for you while others may not hit the spot. Everyone is different. So, have fun testing it out.
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