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How to Get Turned On: 26 Sexy Secrets to Turn Yourself On & Get in the Mood

Learning how to get turned on gives you extreme power. It allows you to take control of your own pleasure! First, you need to explore your hotspots. 

how to get turned on

When it comes to sex, nothing is ever as easy as it sounds. Whether on your own or with a partner, sometimes it can be a challenge to find out how to get turned on and what makes you go wild. 

And then there are some instances where you just don’t feel like having sex. It’s important to know the difference.

Before you even get in bed with someone, spending time on your own and experimenting with masturbating can be a liberating and educational experience. 

But it’s not just about masturbating, it’s the entire experience that helps you find certain things which set you off. [Read: How to make yourself horny – 25 powerful ways to get there fast]

Why sexual exploration is key when learning how to get turned on

Put simply – how can you expect your partner to know what turns you on if you don’t know yourself? 

Stop putting all the hard work on their shoulders and start taking control of your own sexual pleasure! Everyone is turned on by different things, there is no “one size fits all” answer here. 

By understanding how to get turned on, you’ll be able to enjoy your solo sessions and also show your partner just what gets you hot and horny. [Read: 20 sexy things that turn guys on every single time]

Of course, that means your sex life is always going to be ten times better than before. How could it not be?

Exploring your hotspots can be done alone or with your partner – you could try mixing it up and doing both. Try new things, go with what feels good and explore it a little more.

The only way to find out what works for you is to play around a little. It’s the best kind of game out there! [Read: How to make yourself wet – 19 ways to get all lubed up and horny]

How to turn yourself on with your own senses

You can try to turn yourself on, but most of the time, you may just end up feeling lost or even bored after a while, especially at the beginning.

Instead of focusing on turning yourself on with the goal to orgasm, just relax and try to have a good time by yourself. Only then will you be able to see how simple and liberating self-help can actually be.

For the first-timers and even the seasoned pros who want to have a great time turning themselves on, here’s a guide on how to turn yourself on. [Read: Female masturbation tips for guaranteed orgasmic bliss]

If this is your first time, try not to stress yourself out. Instead, just give yourself an hour or so of self-time and have a great time, all by yourself. All you need are your five senses and you’ll be pleasured in ways you couldn’t have imaged:

1. Sight – Watch what excites you

Watching a bit of nudity can be exciting for anyone, be it a man or a woman. Lie down or sit down with your laptop nearby and visit a few of those websites your nanny wouldn’t allow. [Confession: How erotica saved my sexless marriage]

There are a lot of varieties that can turn on even the most sexless person, so take your time and watch a few “interesting” movies. 

Don’t focus on turning yourself on right from the start, just watch something that excites you and the rest will flow, erm… follow.

2. Touch – Let your hands wander all over your body 

If you’re really keen to learn how to get turned on, try this. Close the curtains, set the scene, get undressed, and let your hand wander. [Read: How to turn yourself on with your senses and enjoy every inch of yourself]

You don’t have to do anything specific or even try and stimulate a specific part of you – yet. All you need to do is touch yourself all over. Run your hands over your body and really zone in on the sensations

Does it feel tingly? Do you get the feeling that you want to move your hand elsewhere? 

You could even use a massage oil and give yourself a personal massage too. Simply running your hands over your naked skin could be all it takes to really get turned on.

3. Sound – Love-making moans and your own moan 

Lie back and close your eyes while an arousing movie plays in the background. Relax and just listen to the sensual sounds of lovemaking as you move your hands over yourself. [Read: How to moan and look & sound even sexier in bed]

The sound of another couple making out can actually be a bigger turn-on than most other things, especially if you can let your imagination run wild.

If you feel comfortable with your own voice at this point in time, breathe slowly and deeply, letting the air out of your mouth as you move your hands over the sensitive regions of your body. 

As you breathe harder and deeper, you’d be able to moan easily without really trying. And that always helps in arousing yourself a lot more than you think, because you’d be willing to let go and let your body control you for once. [Read: 20 most romantic songs for the one you love]

4. Taste – Do we have to go here?

Well, learning to explore the sense of taste may make you feel like a fetishist, so we won’t get into the details. 

But for starters, move your hands all over your body and occasionally place your hands around your lips and let your fingers run around the sensitive areas on your lips. Your lips are full of nerve endings that can heighten the sensual sensation.

5. Smell – Explore sensual fragrances

If you want to set the mood right, light fragrant incenses close by so you can bathe in the deep, sensual aroma of rich fragrances. [Read: How to smell good and attract anyone you deeply desire]

If you want to take this a step further, you can also use fragrant massage oils on your hands as you move them all over yourself. 

Pick the fragrance that creates an atmosphere of sensuality. A few great fragrances that reek of sensuality are leather, musk, lavender, chocolate, and even orange blossom. 

Sensual fragrances will help you relax and heighten the experience for you. [Read: How to pick the perfect perfume and smell great]

Learning how to get turned on 

Spending time on your own exploring what turns you on is a great way to learn about your body. But it undoubtedly helps if you have a partner that you trust to explore your body with you. Having a partner touch you in places you can’t touch only adds to the fun!

When it comes to sex, the options are endless. Let’s face it, the human body is weird.

But that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. It’s time to know your body and figure out how to get turned on all by yourself. [Read: How to get in the mood for sex – 17 horny tricks to beat a dry spell]

1. Play around with yourself – alone

It’s important to spend some quality alone time with yourself and your body. Of course, you’ll see what turns you on with a partner, but when alone, you remove some of the pressure that may come with being with someone in bed. 

This is your time. Your alone time to explore your body and sexuality. [Read: How to have sex with yourself and learn what turns your body on]

2. Learn your natural sex drive

Everyone is different. Maybe you can go without masturbating for days or weeks, but then there are other people that need to masturbate on a daily basis.

The point is, not everything is going to turn you on. There will be moments when you’re not feeling sexual. You don’t have to force yourself to be turned on, it’s simply your natural sex drive. [Read: 25 horny ways to increase your sex drive and keep it revving high]

3. Give yourself time when learning how to get turned on 

You need time to get turned on. Sure, there are some cases where it hits you like a bus. 

But most likely, you’ll need twenty or thirty minutes to even get into the mood. Learning how to get turned on isn’t like snapping your fingers, it’s about building up slowly. 

Think of yourself like a car that’s been sitting in the snow the entire day. The engine is cold, so you wait for the car to warm up a bit before you drive it. [Read: Movies with a lot of sex – 29 movies to get you in the mood]

So, spend some time having foreplay and enjoy it – this is your time!

4. Focus on your body

When we’re going to have sex with someone, we tend to spend more time focusing on their needs and what they want. Screw that. 

Listen, take into consideration things that they like, but remember that you also want to feel pleasure.

Pay close attention to your body and how it reacts, that way, you see what movements or actions stimulate you the most. [Read: 17 naughty secrets about female masturbation you need to know]

Learning how to get turned on is a balance between your mind and your partner’s.

5. Turn the lights on 

That’s right, you heard us! We said to keep that light on. So many couples have sex with the lights off, but here’s the thing – we’re visual beings. 

We like to see, touch, taste, and smell. Honestly, seeing your partner enjoying themselves can be a huge turn-on.

So, instead of making it pitch black, keep at least some light on so you see your partner’s body in motion. [Read: Lights on or off? The real score on bedroom lighting]

6. Or… dim the lights and create a comfortable environment

Dim the lights, turn them off completely, or use the warm glow of a small lamp to increase the aura of sensuality. 

At times, especially at the beginning, you may feel uncomfortable watching your own hands wander over your body as you try to turn yourself on.

By turning off the lights, you can stop worrying about how you look and instead focus all your attention on the sensation of pleasure that you’re experiencing at the moment. [Read: 24 sex room ideas to make any room look & feel sexy]

7. Play with your imagination 

Now, this may not be for everyone, but you don’t know until you try. Maybe you always wanted to have sex with a nurse or a firefighter, well, now’s your chance. 

Use your imagination when having sex and see if your fantasies actually turn you on when brought to real life. This actually enhances your sexual experience and really turns you on.

Think about everything sensual and sexual. Can you remember those times or moments when you felt really turned on? Do you have a few memories that make the hair on the back of your neck stand with tingling excitement? [Read: How to fantasize about someone else while having sex and not feel guilty]

Remember those sensual thoughts and visualize them, and take it a step further too, just as long as it makes you want to keep your hands down there. [Read: Sexual fantasies for women]

8. Learn how to get turned on by watching a kinky movie 

Perhaps when you watch Magic Mike or even parts of Fifty Shades of Grey, it’s on – you don’t know until you try! 

Turn on a spicy movie and fast-forward it to the naughty scenes. You may feel a little tingle in your groin area, and if that happens, you’re on the right track. [Read: The naughtiest borderline porn titles on Netflix]

9. Be naked and enjoy it 

It’s true that most of us have issues with our bodies, but aside from our insecurities, walking around the house completely naked is highly liberating. 

Let’s just say, the power makes you horny. You’re naked, you’re feeling sexy, so why wouldn’t you be turned on? 

Come on, look at you, you’re hot. This also has the added benefit of slowly making you far more accepting of your body and body confidence in general. [Read: Naked at home – why it’s good and 20 things best done in the nude]

10. Watch porn 

Now, porn doesn’t always turn people on, and that’s because most of it looks way too fake and the beauty standards in it are insane. But there’s amateur porn or feminist porn, which brings sex back to reality.

It’s sexual, it’s sensual, but it’s also real. You’re not looking at people that don’t relate to you. Instead, these people are just like us. And at the end of the day, that’s sexy.

When watching porn, be sure to select your title carefully. Some porn films are catered exclusively towards men and don’t really show women in natural or “real” sexual states. [Read: Porn for women – why do we like it and where can we find it?]

It’s all super-airbrushed and can make you feel inadequate if you believe it to be real. Take it with a pinch of salt and know that, at the end of the day, it’s designed to turn people on, not to be authentic.

11. Think about the past 

In most cases, leave the past behind, except when it comes to sex. Good sex? Well, why not dust off those memories? [Read: 46 expert-level tips and secrets to be a better lover and feel amazing in bed]

Some of your past sexual experiences may have been really hot, and you just can’t throw those away. When you’re in your bed alone, think about those hot, steamy sexual encounters you had. We’re sure it’ll turn you on.

12. Dance to some sexy music

Have you seen Beyonce’s music video for Partition? Well, it’s old, but watch it. It’s hot. But aside from the video, the song itself is very sexy and sensual. [Read: Revamp yourself to reveal the hot and sexy YOU hiding inside]

Why not give a little lap dance or practice your sexy moves in your bedroom? You’ll move your body however you want. Once you get into it, it’ll feel amazing, trust us.

13. Read something naughty

If you’re not particularly aroused by the moan of a couple making love, read about it. Words can spin stories and create visions that can be far more exciting than sounds at times. 

Read a few sensual stories online or in a book and let your free hand wander along with your imagination. [Read: Erotic lit – reading recommendations for sensual minds]

There are also tons of erotic literature available for you to read. And since there are no visuals, you imagine the characters all in your head. Making it even more sexual. 

Whatever you’re into, there’s definitely a book written about it. If not, why not try your hand at writing your own? You don’t have to show it to anyone unless you want to, but you can delve deep into your fantasies!

14. Try dirty talk

If you have a willing partner, why not try dirty talk? [Read: 20 beginner dirty talk examples to get them in the mood for fun]

For sure, the first time you do it, it will probably feel super-cringe. But, stick with it. Talking dirty can be all it takes to get the fires burning down below. 

Talk to your partner about what you want to do to them or about a specific fantasy you have. Tell them what you want them to do to you. 

You don’t have to actually act any of this out right now, unless you want to, of course. But the chances are that by the end, you’ll both be so turned on you can’t help yourselves. [Read: How to dirty talk – 36 sexy tips and 55 examples to turn anyone on with words]

15. Give each other massages

We just mentioned giving yourself a massage, but why not ask your partner to do it for you? You’ll be totally de-stressed by the end of it, and probably quite turned on too. 

The key to learning how to get turned on is to understand that much of it is in the mind. If you’re stressed out and thinking about all the things you need to do that day, you’re not going to find it easy to turn yourself on. 

However, if you’re totally relaxed, you’ll find that the tingles are never too far away! [Read: Tips to turn him on]

16. Talk to your partner – communication is key

Talking on the phone while turning yourself on can be quite exciting. If you feel awkward to let the person on the other end know you’re playing with yourself, you really don’t have to let them know. 

Just have a normal conversation for a few minutes, and let your hands wander all over yourself while you’re talking. 

The excitement of turning yourself on secretly while you’re on the phone with your partner can excite you more than you can ever imagine. [Read: Public flashing confessions]

17. Focus on enjoyment rather than an end goal

Use these tips on how to turn yourself on, and rest assured, you’ll be able to have a great time with yourself and feel a lot more comfortable at the same time too. 

When you’re trying to turn yourself on, don’t distract yourself with thoughts that can turn you off. Instead, relax and let yourself go, and you’ll be able to experience a more-than-satisfying experience of self-satisfaction.

18. Play around with toys

Yes, some people freak out when the term “sex toys” is uttered, but these are far more mainstream these days! [Read: Homemade sex toys you have to try – solo play or with a lover]

You don’t have to go all out before you’re in the mood, but just exploring sex toys, touching them, and thinking about using them may be enough to help you get super-turned-on. 

When learning how to turn yourself on, much of it is about your mind, but visual stimulation really helps too.

19. Try massage oil 

It’s true that giving yourself a massage isn’t as enjoyable or as easy as someone else doing it, but you can use massage oils to caress your body and allow your hands to slick and slide with ease. [Read: Oil as lube – 22 best oils for sex must-knows, and lube alternatives to avoid]

Many people find this extremely sexy and when you add in a spot of imagination at the same time, perhaps imagining your partner’s hands instead of your own, you’ll soon notice how turned on you feel. 

20. Explore your fantasies

What fantasies and kinks have you heard about or read about that you’d like to try for yourself? Why not try and learn more about them? That’s sure to get you in the mood! 

Again, imagination is key here so when you’re doing your research, try and imagine how it would feel if it were you getting down and dirty at that moment. [Read: Arousing sex fantasies to try in real life]

21. Wear the things that make you feel sexy

You’re not going to learn how to turn yourself on very successfully if you don’t feel sexy. That means wearing things that make you feel like a true sexual being. 

It can be anything! It doesn’t have to be lingerie, but anything that makes you feel desirable and sexy. Use your favorite body butter on your skin, your favorite scents, moisturizer, and do your hair and makeup in a way that makes you feel confident. 

When you feel that way, turning yourself on will be much easier. [Read: How to dress sexy – 29 subtle and classy ways to make them lust for you]

What works for one, may not work for another

It’s important to remember that everyone is different. Just because your friend gets their kicks from watching porn, doesn’t mean it’s going to do anything for you. We all have different tastes and preferences. 

What you need to do is explore a little and find out what yours are. That can only be done by trial and error. 

So, work your way through these suggestions and see which ones get you tingling and which don’t. [Read: How to touch yourself – 16 touches that’ll always leave you satisfied]

Some might not work at all for you, but they may work really well for someone else. The good news is that there are sure to be a few that do hit the right notes.

Comparisons won’t serve you well when it comes to exploring your sexual side. You’re an individual and that means your sex life is just as unique. 

[Read: How to make yourself squirt and experience your first squirting orgasm – the complete guide you’ll ever need]

Now that you know how to get turned on, try out some of these methods. Some may work wonders for you while others may not hit the spot. Everyone is different. So, have fun testing it out.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer, and the creator and author of her short stories on TheLonelySerb. She completed her first degr...
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