I can’t tell you exactly when it’ll happen, but there’s a moment when you start feeling sexual. At that moment, your penis or vagina will have this god-like aura around it that it never had before. Yeah, I know, you took a sex ed class and watched some Hollywood sex scenes. Let’s be honest, if you’re wondering how do you masturbate, none of those have actually shown you how to do it right, have they?
Probably not. It’s funny because it’s assumed that once we start feeling sexual, we just know how to masturbate.
But it took me a while to understand what to do and what reaction I was looking for. I didn’t know what the feeling was supposed to feel like. I just knew I had to feel something. [Read: 11 sexy solo sex positions that are guaranteed to pleasure you]
How do you masturbate? 13 ways to do it right
I think that’s what many of us are left with. We just know there’s supposed to be a feeling, some sort of tingling sensation, but how do we even get to that point? I wish we were given handbooks on this in high school. It would have made things so much easier.
But you have the internet, so basically, it’s the same thing. Thank god you do, back in the day, I didn’t have Google Incognito, so you can imagine how selective I had to be when it came to looking this stuff up. But honestly, now the world is your oyster, so it’s time to help you figure out what masturbating is and how you can do it.
Because you’re going to do it eventually. So how do you masturbate? Here’s what you need to know.
#1 Masturbating is for all genders. This is crucial to know. It’s assumed that mainly men masturbate which is true, most men do masturbate, but, and this is a big but, so do women.
If you’re a woman and you’re worried about what people are going to think, listen, you’re supposed to masturbate. Men and women are supposed to masturbate. It’s normal regardless of your gender. [Read: Female masturbation – 17 naughty facts about the naughty secret]
#2 You won’t run out of semen. If you’re a man, you produce semen when you ejaculate. Every man produces semen, it’s completely normal. This semen is responsible for fertilizing a woman’s egg and impregnating her. But don’t think that you can “run out” of semen by masturbating too much.
Sure, you could give your penis a carpet burn from too much jerking off, but your body will always produce semen. In essence, you can never run out of it. [Read: The 12 most amazing facts you didn’t know about semen]
#3 Masturbating is mental. What you need to know is that while sex is physical, it’s really more mental. If you’re having a bad day, you may not be feeling as sexual which means you’re probably not going to arouse as easily. So, whether masturbating or having sex, it’s all in the mind.
If you want to masturbate, relax your mind and don’t go into it nervous or stressed out. This is just you exploring your body.
#4 Make yourself comfortable. There’s nothing that can ruin a mood faster than someone calling your name for dinner or walking in on your masturbation session. I totally get it. This is the time that you want to explore your body which means you need to feel safe and private.
If you’re on the edge, hoping that your mom doesn’t walk in, you won’t be fully into the experience. Lock your door, masturbate when everyone’s out of the house. These little things make you feel more secure. [Read: How to have sex with yourself and learn what turns your body on]
#5 Don’t rush through it. I know, if you’ve ever watched porn then you’ll see them masturbating as fast as they can but that’s just for the camera. What you’re living in is called reality. You don’t need to rush through the experience in order to achieve an orgasm, unless speed turns you on. By slowing down, you’ll have better control of the movements and feel your body’s reaction. Experiment with speeds, positions, pressure, and strokes when you masturbate.
#6 Masturbating the vagina. Whether you’re a man wondering how to touch a vagina or a woman trying to figure out how to masturbate solo, here’s what you need to do.
With a wet finger, slide it in between the lips and rub up and down from the entrance of the vagina all the way up to the clit. With one finger, slide it into the vagina first and then, add another one. Have the fingers a little curled, sliding it in and out. [Read: 15 moves to finger yourself and bring yourself to ecstasy]
#7 Women need to focus on the clit. This doesn’t mean you attack your clit, but definitely give your clit some extra attention. While you’re rubbing your vagina, try doing long strokes from the top all the way down to the entrance of your vagina. It’ll get some blood pumping down there.
Then, take your finger and slowly start rubbing your clit. You can test out different pressures and speeds, but listen to your body, it’ll tell you what it wants.
#8 You can try edging. If you don’t want to orgasm right away, edge. Edging is when you stop masturbating right before orgasm. Then, slowly start masturbating again. It makes the orgasm stronger and you’ll have an explosive orgasm at the end. You can do this stop-and-go method as much as you like. [Read: Learn the art of edging for sizzling orgasms]
#9 If you’re not into it, you can stop. There’s nothing worse than masturbating because you think it’s something you have to do. Listen, if you’re not feeling sexual or simply not interested in it, then don’t do it. This isn’t something that you have to do.
Take your time with this. Plus, if you’re not into masturbating right now, it shows that you may not be ready for sex just yet. And that’s okay.
#10 You can use a sex toy. Of course, I’m not going to tell you that you shouldn’t use a sex toy. But if you’re fresh and new to masturbating, I don’t recommend you start off with a toy. Use your hands and get to know your body. Once you do that, incorporate in a sex toy. You don’t want to skip the basics and go right into the toys. Master the basics and then work your way up. [Read: Homemade dildos for when the moment strikes unexpectedly]
#11 Add some anal play into the mix. We assume that masturbating means solely focusing on the vagina or penis, but you’re forgetting that there are other parts of your body which are just as fun. Now, most of us get a little scared when we hear the word anal, which is why it’s best to test this out on your own first.
While masturbating, circle your anus with your finger and slowly put it in. See how that feels, just make sure your finger is lubed up.
#12 Don’t forget other erogenous zones. If you’ve watched porn, but crappy porn, they mostly focus on the vagina and penis when masturbating. What they completely leave out are the other erogenous zones.
These are areas of your body which are sensitive to stimulation – ears, neck, mouth, lips, nipples – touch these areas while masturbating and you’ll have sparks of electricity shoot through your body. Try pinching, pulling, squeezing, and rubbing these areas. [Read: How to lube yourself up and drive you wild]
#13 It’s going to take practice. Listen, when you masturbate, you’re basically learning what your body likes on a sexual level. So, you’re not going to touch yourself once and suddenly become a guru of your vagina or penis. You’re going to have to masturbate a decent amount of times to understand what speed, pressure, strokes, and positions get you aroused.
Don’t get discouraged after the first time, you’ll need countless more to perfect this skill.
[Read: Learn to explore yourself and get in the mood]
If you’ve always been curious yet too scared to masturbate, I completely understand. But it’s time to break through your fear and get to know your body by learning how do you masturbate.
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