While sex with other people is fun, you need to first learn how to have sex with yourself. I mean, at the end of the day, it’s just you and your hands.
We become so reliant on other people for sex that we forget the importance of learning how to have sex with yourself. Having sex with other people is great, as we all know, but knowing how to arouse and turn yourself on is a great source of knowledge for when you’re in your bed alone or with someone.
Having sex with yourself is simply learning what turns your body on. Masturbation is completely normal and healthy, so, when you feel aroused, don’t be afraid to masturbate in order to relieve sexual tension within you. It’s important to relieve this tension as it rebalances you emotionally and mentally.
So, now that you know why you should do it, it’s time to teach you how to do it. It’s the best fun you can have alone.
#1 Go someplace private. You probably won’t masturbate in your living room if you live at home with your parents. If you want to learn how to have sex with yourself, find a quiet spot where you’re not going to be disturbed. If your house is full of people, then wait until the house is empty or when everyone is sleeping. The last thing you want is someone walking in on you. [Read: 11 solo sex positions you need to try out on yourself]
#2 Disconnect yourself. If people are calling you and sending you texts, you’re going to answer. Which, in any normal circumstance is good, however, now is not the time to answer your phone.
During this time with yourself, you need to connect with yourself. Having a phone ringing will simply distract you. So, remove yourself from any distractions such as your phone, TV, or laptop. That is unless you want to play music or watch porn. [Read: How to give yourself an orgasm: 15 sizzling hot tips]
#3 Get used to your hands. I know you’ve probably been told by people that you need to get a vibrator or dildo, and they’re not wrong, you can totally get one. However, it’s always nice to start off with your hands. Maybe I’m just old school but it’s like training wheels for bikes. You need to know how to use your hands to arouse yourself before you can take it to the final frontier… dick.
#4 Get the mood going. You want to get yourself aroused and in the mood for sex before you start to masturbate. Now, it can be tricky because everyone has their own needs and desires. So, I can’t really tell you what will arouse you because, at the end of the day, you’re the only one who knows.
But, I’ll give you some common ideas. Many people read erotic books, watch porn, or simply fantasize about something.
#5 Start with stroking. Now, for the start, keep it basic until you start exploring your vagina more and seeing what works and what doesn’t. So, start off by stroking your vagina with your fingers. Stroke the labia, vagina, and clitoris as these are the areas which are stimulated by touch. It may take you a couple minutes, so, take your time.
#6 Use your fingers. Once you’ve stroked your vagina and worked yourself into arousal, then it’s time for you to start using your fingers. By the time you’ve reached this point, you should be already aroused which means you’ll be wet.
You’ll then want use your fingers to rub the wetness, making your fingers wet as well. Then, you’ll take those fingers and enter them into your vagina. But, make sure they’re wet or else it’ll feel uncomfortable. From there, you can use your fingers to move in and out, massaging the inner area of the vagina or press against the vaginal walls. [Read: 15 tips to guide your fingers for maximum pleasure]
#7 Explore your clit. If you take your hand and move it down from your stomach to vagina, your clitoris will be the first part of your vagina. It’s extremely sensitive and will most likely give you a tingling sensation when you touch it. You’ll want to rub your fingers very gently over it and then, with time, apply different pressures to it, finding out which pressure stimulates you the most. Keep rubbing it, and you’ll eventually orgasm.
#8 Mix things up. To learn what stimulates your body and mind, you’re going to need to try different things. So, use your fingers to explore how deep or shallow you like it. Ask yourself, do you like it slow or fast? Any particular angle? What combination works best? Answer these questions by paying attention to how your body reacts.
#9 Don’t forget the lube. But seriously, don’t forget to make sure the vagina is wet prior to masturbating. If you’re not aroused enough to produce your own lubricant, it’ll be dry and painful. You can also use lubricant which will also make everything more sensitive, which is exactly what you want. [Read: How to get yourself all lubed up]
#10 Listen to your body. Your body knows what it likes and what it doesn’t, so when masturbating, actually listen to your body’s reaction. If you’re not feeling stimulated in a certain angle, your body doesn’t like it. If you feeling tingling sensations, trembling, and butterflies in your stomach then your body is telling you it wants more.
#11 Use a sex toy. Now, you can or can not use a sex toy, it’s really up to you. You can use a dildo or vibrator during your masturbation. Make sure you have some lube for it but once you turn it on, rub the outside of your vagina with it, slowly making yourself wet. Then, slide it in you when you’re ready. [Read: 13 homemade sex toys you have to try]
#12 Do it with a partner. Try masturbating with your partner. It can be really arousing to watch your partner masturbate at the same time as you. So, face your partner and just start masturbating. There’s the “look but can’t touch” element which is also stimulating.