The best way to learn more about a guy? Asking the right questions to get to know a guy is the most straightforward way to get there. And I have just the way to do it. Memorize some questions and weave them into your conversation seamlessly; it works like a charm!
Okay, so admittedly this is something I did when I was 16, and I still do it because I think it is fantastic. At that time, we played “21 Questions” which ended up being anywhere from 10-60 questions. Basically, you just ask each other questions until one of you tire of it, or you fall asleep. [Read: 45 Funny questions to get to know someone better instantly]
It’s great. You get to know the guy, and they get to know you. You either bond on an intimate level, or you discover this guy is a sociopath that doesn’t like puppies. Could go either way. If you don’t like the idea of batting questions back and forth, you could simply be a little sneaky and direct the conversation towards specific things you want to know. It takes practice, but once you master it, it’s a great tactic to have in your dating armory!
[Read: Awkward silence? Random questions to ask a guy]
Admittedly, yes, but having a little pre-information is never a bad thing. Why waste your time on someone you know that you’re not going to click with? By asking some questions to get to know a guy, you can work out whether this is a guy who is worthy of your time and attention, or someone you should pass on.
Getting to know one another over time is a totally different type of familiarity. That’s about making memories together and growing as a new couple. By asking these pre-dating questions, you can work out whether you’re suited. Do you have the same values? Does he like animals? What is his favorite color? You know, the important things in life! [Read: How to get to know someone on a date]
Of course, one thing you shouldn’t do is make him feel like you’re interviewing him. That’s not cool or fun. If you’re going to go down the quick-fire question game, fair enough, fire away, but make sure he knows it’s a game and not a grilling he wasn’t pre-warned about!
Buckle your seatbelts, ladies! These questions will dig deep into this dude’s emotions, and future plans. Not intended for younger audiences. Just kidding, I don’t care, I’m not your mom. Look all you want, kids.
his is a great question because it is relatively soon, but not too far. You will find out if he is ambitious and motivated in his career. Personally, this matters a lot. I’m incredibly motivated by my career success, so I need someone that also values this in their lives. [Read: 50 relationship questions to test your compatibility instantly]
This question is a little bit more intense, because depending on how old they are at the time, this means they will be a real adult, doing adult things. If you are even asking, it means you are thinking long-term with this fella. Proceed with caution.
This question tells you about how motivated they are, and WHAT motivates them in life. [Read: Stop being a wallflower and talk to the guy you like]
This is one of those questions to get to know a guy that gives you some insight into what their childhood was like. Without digging for answers, you could potentially learn if they had a fantastic childhood, or if it was rough. This allows them to give up as much or as little as they choose.
It says a lot about someone once you know whether they are closer with their mom, dad, sisters, or brothers, etc. If they are closer with their mom or female family members, they could be more sensitive and respectful of women. If they are closer to their dad or male family members, they could be more masculine and have more difficulty discussing their emotions. Keyword though, “could.” [Read: 9 Easy things you can do to get his mom to adore you]
This could be a funny answer, like mice, or a deep answer, like being forgotten.
Again, this could be something funny, like they had sex in their bed in high school, or it could be that they were addicted to cocaine. Could go either way at this point. [Read: 20 good questions to ask a guy and find out who he really is]
This is literally the perfect question because you can hear how they envision their future, and you get to decide if you could imagine yourself sharing that life with them or not.
I just really like talking about traveling, so I adore this question. It also tells you a lot about a person in terms of the types of landscapes they like, the cultures they’re pulled towards, etc. Let’s be honest, if they’re a ski and snow kind of guy and you can’t stand anything below 90 degrees, you’re just not a great match! [Read: 9 reasons traveling is a great test of compatibility]
This one is just fun.
Their answer could be “I have no regrets in life, because everything happens for a reason” which I would love, or they could tell you some deep, personal things.
Just embarrassing, awful, and hilarious. [Read: 10 Major first kiss red flags that lead to a toxic relationship]
Well, you might get a surprise here. One time I asked this question and the response I got was a red face and avoidance of eye contact. He hadn’t had it yet, and I personally thought that was adorable. [Read: 15 fun questions to ask a guy to make him laugh and want you around]
Does he describe something about you? SCORE.
Again, does he describe something about you? Okay, maybe not a score this time. [Read: The biggest dating turn-offs for guys]
He might describe the death of a family member or his best friend… Just be prepared here, because it could get very emotional. You might be opening up a fresh wound. Proceed cautiously.
He is basically going to hand you everything he is looking for in a partner in a pretty pink box with a bow on it. Does he describe you? Perfecto.
This question gives you insight into his romantic side. Also, this will tell you if he is a down-to-earth guy that just wants to go to the beach or order pizza and watch a movie. OR if he is extravagant and wants to take you out to a nice dinner with candlelight and such. [Read: Top 50 amazing first date ideas to wow your date]
Does he give some to charity? PLEASE TELL ME HE GIVES SOME TO CHARITY. Ah, it’s just so cliché. I adore it.
I don’t know, guys, I really like watching Dr. Phil and eating Ben N Jerry’s… But that’s just me. [Read: The guilty pleasures you should keep secret]
Does he want children? Can he envisage getting married? Could he imagine family dinners every night?
Knowing who he models his behavior after is super important. This will shape the relationship that you might possibly be entering into.
Maybe he has never actually experienced love. Perhaps you’ll be his first. Maybe his idea of love is a very superficial, shallow definition. You will learn it all with these questions to get to know a guy.
I’m a firm believer in the fact that every relationship teaches us SOMETHING. If he hasn’t learned anything from his past relationships, then perhaps he lacks personal insight, i.e., he does nothing wrong. [Read: 22 early warning signs of a shitty boyfriend]
This is just an interesting question because perhaps you align in this sense. Both morning people? You can wake up and have breakfast together.
Let’s be honest, a guy who loves animals is instantly more attractive than one who doesn’t. Is it a cute dog or a cat? Is he more about reptiles than cuddly animals?
Most people will say honesty or faithfulness but its interesting to ask. This is one of the more searching questions to get to know a guy because it tells you what is important to him. He might surprise you. [Read: 20 Positive personality traits that can change your life forever]
A cheeky one but it’s fun to ask! Most guys will say that they don’t want to have sex on a first date but most are lying. If you make it to a date, it gives you a few ideas on whether you want to go there or not!
This can give you some very interesting insights into what he can tolerate versus what makes his blood boil. It’s always fun to learn these things and of course, tells you what to avoid!
Nobody is perfect and the fact he can choose a trait tells you that he knows this and he’s working towards self-improvement, in some way at least. If he tells you he’s perfect and wouldn’t change anything, he’s lying. [Read: 17 Qualities of a good husband and why these traits in a man stand out]
Please tell me he says “Dirty Dancing” and not “Fast & Furious” or something equally as terrible. Sorry F&F fans, but come on, how many times can they drive fancy cars very fast and get away with it?
Is it an action specialist? A deep and meaningful actor? a comedic genus? This is one of the questions to get to know a guy that will give you a real insight into what he finds entertaining.
This is a loaded question and one that could take the conversation further. He may say that he adores his job and tell you why. Or, he may say he hates it or doesn’t enjoy it generally, and what he would like to do. [Read: Love or career? How to make the right choice]
This is a little like the travel question, because it tells you about the types of locations he likes. Again, sub-zero temperatures could be a serious red flag for you!
He’ll probably tell you he doesn’t do karaoke but that’s just his ego talking. Push a little further and he’ll buckle under the pressure and admit that he likes “I Will Survive” or something just as cheesy!
Out of all the questions to get to know a guy this one will make him smile and take him back to his childhood years. Just try not to laugh when he tells you what his mom used to call him! [Read: 50 Cute things to call your boyfriend to create intimacy]
Another cheeky one because it gives you pre-information if things were to get intimate!
Even if he wasn’t an avid Friends watcher, he is probably going to understand this debate and will probably also have an opinion on it. Does his answer match yours?
Will he choose a beautiful actress just because he can, or will he choose a highly intelligent historian so he can pick their brains? Of course, there’s a huge amount of ground between those two examples! [Read: How to find your fictional character crush in real life]
Is he an optimist or a pessamist?
[Read: 60 fun get-to-know-you questions to know your new romantic partner]
Now that you have a lengthy list of questions to get to know a guy, you can test them out on that new relationship—or even one you are already in! It’s always fun to get to know someone better.
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