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48 Real Secrets to Change Your Life & Find the Right Path When You’re Lost

You have reached a point in your life where you’re just not that happy. So, you can use these tips to learn how to change your life for the better.

how to change your life

Are you sitting there a little disillusioned with life and wondering if this is all there is? Maybe you’re even considering how to change your life, but not really sure if it’s possible. Well, there is good news coming your way.

Unfortunately, life isn’t fair sometimes. Some people have better opportunities and other people have better brains or looks. All of us have strengths and weaknesses, and somehow, all these advantages and disadvantages we have even themselves out to make us all equal.

You can change your life whenever you want. It simply takes planning, openness, and a willingness to try. It doesn’t matter whether you want to make a full life overhaul or just change a few things here and there. 

Being open to trying new things is the first step while committing a little time to soul-searching is another. [Read: How to learn to be vulnerable and welcome life in]

If you want to change your life for the better, you need to learn to use the secret powers that make you special.

Unfortunately, though, only you can discover what you’re good at. No one else can do that for you.

There is nothing more frustrating than knowing you want to make changes, and that you have to make changes, but not having the first clue about how to change your life. [Read: I don’t know what to do with my life]

Are you ready to change your life?

Before we get into the process of learning how to change your life, ask yourself whether you want to make changes for yourself or if you simply feel you need to because of someone else. [Read: How to be perfect in everything you do]

You see, the rise of social media is wonderful on so many levels, but it’s quite damaging to others.

Often you’ll see your friends posting about their wonderful life on Facebook and Instagram. And this can lead you to wonder why you’re not traveling around the world every few months, why you’re not being asked to all these parties, and why you’re not rustling up a brand-new recipe to post to your friends every single evening. 

How do they find the time?

Don’t believe everything you see on social media. Most of the time, this is simply people posting falsities to make others feel bad, which in turn makes them feel good. [Read: How to avoid the danger of social media insecurity]

This is part and parcel of human behavior, and not a particularly pleasant side to humanity either. Unfortunately, we all do it, whether or not we’re aware of it.

For that reason, make sure that you are embarking on changes for yourself because you want to do it, not because you want to litter your social media feeds with killer posts to gain likes.

How to change your life for the better

Do you want to change your life to attract someone, enjoy life more, and make more money, or are you just sick of being a nobody? [Read: Honest secrets to let of the past, be happy, and look to the future]

It doesn’t really matter what your reasoning is as long as you know how to use these little steps toward a better you and a better life.

1. Take chances

Every day, life offers all of us a lot of chances and second chances. But are you keeping your eyes open to find those opportunities? 

Are you doing anything about it? Almost all the big entrepreneurs and accomplished men and women, well, didn’t plan for success. [Read: How to be successful in life]

It just happened because they seized their chances when they caught sight of it. Have a spongy open mind and always be willing to change for the better.

2. Find a role model

A role model isn’t an absolute necessity. But for many of us, we want someone to guide us and help us think the way we should. It’s always easy to learn through someone else’s accomplishments and failures. 

Read books and autobiographies. Instead of learning from your failed experiences all the time, learn through someone else’s experiences and save yourself the fall. [Read: How to use a role model to get someone you like]

A role model can also help make decisions for you when you’re confused.

3. Be positive

You have to escape the negative mindset. Humans are hard-wired to be negative first and positive second. You can change that by actively turning your negative thoughts into positive ones! 

Reframing is a popular cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) method. It takes time and practice, but you simply come up with a positive alternative for every negative thought you have. [Read: Easy mantras that will transform your life]

Then, repeat it until it becomes second nature. Your life will change for the better!

4. Love yourself

Do you really love yourself? Are you proud of who you are? If you don’t love yourself, can you really believe in yourself and your dreams? 

Be confident of your abilities and always strive towards perfection, even if others around you are happy with mediocrity. [Read: How to love yourself]

If you want to achieve your dreams, you really have to fall in love with yourself and believe that you truly are better than everyone else around you.

5. Follow your heart

If you want to understand the real secret behind knowing how to change your life, you have to listen to your heart. Be passionate in everything you do, and don’t leave anything halfway unless you know there’s a better way to do the same thing. 

It’s easy for people to say something can’t be done. In the end, it’s always the achiever who has the last laugh. [Read: Matters of love – follow your heart or stick to what’s safe?]

6. Meet and interact with people

Don’t isolate yourself. When you’re trying to change your life, you have to surround yourself with people who share similar dreams or who have achieved what you wish to achieve. Learn to think like an achiever and behave like one.

When you isolate yourself in the pursuit of your dreams, you may lose out on better opportunities that are waiting just around the corner. 

Meet people and share your ideas, help can come your way. Sometimes, making new acquaintances can also lead to mutual back-scratching opportunities. [Read: How to network at a party and look good doing it]

7. Be determined

Always stay motivated, either by sticking a post-it on your mirror or by constantly thinking of your objective. Determination is the drive that can see you through the darkest hours of your life.

8. Be ready to take a step back

Some of us are lucky enough to see success on the very first try. For everyone else, there are bound to be failures along the way. Really, it’s alright to fail. 

Failures teach you valuable lessons, as long as you’re willing to learn from them and avoid repeating the same mistakes. After all, at times you have to take one step back to jump four steps ahead! [Read: Feel like a failure? 23 truths to stop feeling defeated and find your way]

9. Look at obstacles one step at a time

When you want something badly, be it a new opportunity to earn money or a way to impress someone you like, it’s natural for your mind to be buzzing with ideas and obstacles. While it’s good to see both sides, don’t be overwhelmed by too many thoughts. 

It’ll only leave you stressed. And at the end of the day, you wouldn’t be able to accomplish anything. Instead, make a list of things to do and focus on one thought at a time. 

It’ll help you focus more and see better results. [Read: The real reason behind why your friends are drifting away from you]

10. Don’t overburden yourself with too much work

Yes, you may be a one-man or one-woman army. You may have the skills to do everything too. But at some point, you have to learn to delegate or prioritize your work. 

If there’s something you do that can be done by someone else or by using something, step away from that chore. Your mind and thoughts can be a lot more valuable doing something no one else can do better than you.

11. Balance your life

In your pursuit of a better thing or a better life, it’s easy to forget everything else but your dream. While this may seem like a good thing initially, it’ll drain you out and leave you tired and directionless after a while. [Read: Tips to be happy in life]

Always spare a few hours every day for recreation and you-time. It’ll help you become more efficient and motivated during your work hours without losing out on your regular life.

12. Always have a long-term plan and a short-term plan

If you want to change your life, you need to think one little step at a time. But at the same time, you should never forget the big picture. Always start with the big picture. 

Ask yourself what you really want to achieve and be brutally frank with yourself. And once you have the big picture in mind, make a list of things you need to change about yourself that can lead to the big picture. [Read: How to stop lying to yourself and face the truth]

And you’ll definitely get there, a lot sooner than you think.

13. Say ‘yes’ more

Make it your aim to say “yes” more than you say “no.” That doesn’t mean that you have to say yes to every single invite or idea that comes your way, but make a concerted effort to take more risks. 

Go to more social events, take people up on suggestions, and see where it leads you. Who knows, you might meet a new love interest, a new friend, or find a new job in the middle of it all!

14. Kick out unhealthy habits

You will instantly change your life by kicking out habits that are unhealthy and damaging. [Read: How to learn these simple, daily self-love habits]

This means no more smoking, no more excessive drinking, no drug taking, no being lazy, no self-deprecating talk, and basically focusing on healthy coping mechanisms, as opposed to unhealthy ones. You’ll feel better as a result!

15. Focus on health and wellbeing

While kicking out unhealthy habits, focus on your overall health and well-being. Make sure you eat a healthy and balanced diet, drink more water, cut down on takeaways, buy into moderation, and exercise. 

Focus on your mental health too. Take out anything that’s bothering you and learn how to manage stress and pressure healthily. [Read: How to be emotionally stable and find your zone of perfect calmness]

16. Spend more time with those you love

At the end of your days, the biggest regret you will have is that you didn’t spend enough time with your loved ones. It’s time to change this! You’re not too tired to go out, just go.

Make sure date night is a thing that is never canceled. Head to your parent’s house for Sunday lunch without fail. Talk to those friends you have lost touch with. Focus on relationships, not material things.

17. Work to live, don’t live to work

It’s important to find a job you love because it gives you something to pour your effort and creativity into. But it’s also about work and life balance. [Read: Love or career – how to choose and make sure you’re not left feeling bitter]

Make sure that your job isn’t taking over your life. You work in order to live, you should not be living in order to work!

18. Identify your dreams and make a plan

What is your bucket list? If you haven’t got one, it’s time to write one! Figure out what your dreams are and make them realistic. You’re not going to be discovered by NASA with zero experience! 

Identify the dreams you have and work towards putting a plan together to make them a reality. It might take time, it might even take a lot of time, but even baby steps count as progress. [Read: The couples bucket list – 20 things every couple has to try]

19. Do something new every day

This doesn’t have to be anything huge. It can be something as simple as trying a new hairstyle or cooking a new dish for dinner. Just make sure that every single day you try something new. 

By doing this, you’ll probably find new hobbies to continue pursuing, and you have no idea where they might lead!

20. Accept yourself and your past

Most of us have some kind of baggage that we hang onto. We don’t realize that over time it makes us bitter and holds us back. [Read: 15 ways to discover self-love and happiness]

Let go of your past by accepting it and moving on. At the same time, accept yourself for who you are, you’re wonderful just as you are!

By doing this, you’re allowing yourself to fly in so many ways, without holding yourself back by the negativity of past experiences and false expectations.

21. Dare to date outside of your ‘type’ 

If you’re guilty of sticking to the same type when you date, you’re missing out on the people you’re filtering! [Read: How to tell if a first date went well – 22 signs to know the truth]

Remember, opposites attract, so dare to date someone you wouldn’t normally consider and see where it leads. You might just find the partner of your dreams!

22. Let go of grudges

Accepting your past also includes letting go of grudges. There is nothing positive about holding a grudge. All it does is breed negativity and contempt. Let it go, accept it, forgive it, and move on. You’ll feel so much lighter as a result.

23. Really understand what matters in life

We put so much emphasis on material things and trying to please other people that we fail to realize what life is all about.

The most important things are family, friends, relationships, health, experiences, and happiness. [Read: A roadmap for emotional wellness and living life with intention]

It has nothing to do with the latest iPhone or laptop, and everything to do with happiness and social connections. By knowing what is really important, you can channel your energy in the right direction.

Bad habits to quit if you want to know how to change your life

Being healthy isn’t only about what you eat and how much exercise you get. It’s about the way you think, the things you do, and your general level of happiness. 

If you feel great on the inside, you’ll look fantastic on the outside. It’s really that simple. Avoiding habits that will change your life for the worse is vital if you want to be a calm, balanced, and centered individual. [Read: 16 silly bad habits that can hurt your relationship]

Yoga-speak over. Let’s check out 13 habits that are sure to change your life for the worse. The good news? They’re all completely avoidable!

1. Overthinking

Once you start overthinking, it’s very hard to stop. Your mind becomes a hamster wheel, constantly moving, constantly shifting, and never allowing you to rest in peace! It is a fast track toward misery because you lose perspective of everything.

Much of the time, you’ll be anxious about something that is never going to happen, and why waste that time on what-ifs when you could be out living a real life? [Read: How to stop overthinking – secrets to go from overthinker to relaxer]

Avoiding overthinking comes down to not starting in the first place, but mind over matter can help you if it is already a part of your life. Practice mindfulness, as this will help you live in the here and now, and not in the past or future.

2. Spending too much time on social media

If you’re already a social media addict, it’s time to go on a detox. Spending too much time staring at an app or computer screen means you’re not connecting with those around you. It could be that your existing relationships and friendships suffer as a result.

You don’t need to like photos of kittens, you need to have a conversation with your boyfriend! You don’t need to search for inspirational quotes which sum up your life, you need to actually live your life! [Read: How to do a social media detox]

3. Comparing yourself to others

Looking at someone else and pulling yourself up short on everything that doesn’t match is a fast track toward total unhappiness. Your self-worth will be sliding into the minus, and why? 

Because your hair doesn’t fall the same way? Because you haven’t been to Thailand yet and they have? Because they’re married and you’re not? So what?

It’s time to realize that we all move at our own pace in life, and individually in our own way. Why would you want to be a carbon copy of someone else? [Read: I’m not good enough – how to bring yourself up when you feel low]

4. Watching TV for hours on end

If you’re spending more time watching TV than you are outside spending time with friends, rectify the situation quickly. 

You’re simply not living! Instead, you’re living life through others, and you’re not experiencing life and its many ups and downs.

You’re not going to find opportunities coming your way if you’re constantly watching T. Instead, you’re missing out on forming lasting connections with other people, real people. [Read: 19 genuine ways to connect with others and be more social]

5. Not getting enough sleep

Big mistake. Not getting enough sleep isn’t just about being grumpy in the mornings, it’s about putting your health at risk. Sleep deprivation is a real thing, and it’s not something that caffeine can fix.

Aim to get at least eight hours of sleep per night, and try and establish a routine that allows you to relax and wind down in an hour or so before you go to bed. Avoid having long lay-ins, and try to go to sleep at the same time every night if you can. 

You’ll notice you’re more focused, have more energy, and your appetite is regulated as a result. Oh, and you’ll be less snappy with those around you too! [Read: Easy mantras to transform your life for the better]

6. Procrastinating

Why put off today what you can do tomorrow? Erm, because tomorrow you might be busy with something else! Procrastinating is basically putting things off because you can’t be bothered to address them, or you simply don’t know how to. 

You probably already realize that this is one of those habits that will change your life for the worse. So, face up to your to-do list, whittle it down, and get it done! [Read: How to stop being lazy and confront your excuses head-on]

7. Perfectionism

Nobody is perfect, so why would you try to be? Aiming for the ideal of perfection is setting yourself up for disappointment. Why not settle for being happy with who you are and what you’re doing?

We all make mistakes, we all have imperfections, and we are all individuals because of our faults. The best course of action is to love yourself because of those faults, and not try and iron them out to become what you perceive to be perfect. 

Why? Because your idea of perfection could change and then you’ll need to make another amendment later down the line! [Read: Dating a perfectionist – things you must know before you date one]

8. Putting yourself down

There’s enough negativity in the world, so why would you want to be your own worst enemy? Be kind to yourself, you deserve it!

Self-deprecating talk isn’t healthy, and it can seriously damage your mental health. Your view of yourself is what bases your armor against conditions like anxiety, depression, and stress. 

Without it, you’re laying yourself open for all of the above, and that is not a road you want to go down voluntarily. [Read: How to stop hating yourself and learn to love all of yourself]

9. Spending too much time alone

There is a good side to spending a little time alone because it allows you to connect with yourself and learn about what you really want. But, spending too much time alone is not a good thing at all. 

Disconnecting yourself from friends and family leaves you lonely, because they’re experiencing life, and you’re sitting there with nothing and nobody to talk to.

Again, the social side of life helps in our battle against mental health problems, and our relationships are our savior in hard times. Don’t cut yourself off from the world, get out there and experience it! [Read: How to be more social – 22 ways to genuinely connect with others]

10. Gossiping

Do you believe in karma? If so, you need to cut out the gossip. What you do comes back to you. And if you’re gossiping about someone behind their back, before you know it, you’ll be the one being gossiped about!

Instead, why not choose to be kind to others, and see how great it makes you feel? Doing good deeds boosts our self-confidence and that is the key to true happiness. 

Gossiping is easily one of the bad habits that will change your life for the worse because no good can come from indulging in the bad or downfall of others. [Read: Ways you’re sabotaging your own happiness and ruining your life]

11. Not talking about how you feel

Bottling up your emotions is a very bad thing indeed. Why? Because they fester and turn into major issues *when they really aren’t*, and you start to overthink. See item one on our list to discover why you don’t need to go down that route!

You are not weak for explaining your feelings to someone, it’s actually a strength. Not talking and keeping everything inside can leave you open to a bad mood, and again, do you really want to voluntarily invite that swirling mass of darkness into your life? 

Of course not. So, if you’re feeling low, talk about it. [Read: 15 mature ways to grow up and be an adult]

12. Drinking or smoking too much

It isn’t big and it isn’t clever! Starting to smoke isn’t a great choice, it’s extremely bad for your body and it costs a small fortune. Drinking too much doesn’t make you look exciting or hip, it makes you look drunk, and drunk isn’t a good look.

If you’re drinking or smoking to deal with an issue, instead, focus on tackling it head-on in a healthy and productive way. [Read: Signs stress is ruining your life and how to fix it]

13. Overeating to deal with stress or other problems

Just like our point above, if you’re stressed out or having issues, it’s always better to talk them out and find a solution than to sink your teeth into unhealthy food choices. 

Overeating is going to lead to weight gain, weight gain can lead to obesity, and obesity can lead to poor health and a very bad mood. [Read: What to do when you’re emotionally exhausted and just can’t deal]

Insightful life lessons that can teach you how to change your life

There are many things that people must learn to accept about life in order to be truly happy and lead a better life.

While it is difficult for most of us to admit many uncomfortable truths, once we do, we are able to lead a much more fulfilling life.

Accepting many of these things takes time, and often doesn’t happen until we feel unsatisfied in our current situation. [Read: The guide to finding happiness in your life]

Here are some insightful life lessons that can help you learn how to change your life.

1. You will never be able to please everyone

It is absolutely impossible to satisfy everyone else’s expectations and demands. You will drive yourself crazy if you don’t accept the fact that you cannot live your life tailoring every move to please other people.

This goes for family, friends, and even bosses. Of course, you need to perform certain tasks and fulfill expectations of your role in an organization and relationship. [Read: 20 signs you’re a people pleaser and don’t even know it]

But, for example, that does not mean living up to your manager’s belief that you should be available seven days a week to answer various emails. Or your mother’s perspective that you will only be happy once you own a white picket fence on your well-manicured lawn.

You must let go of the idea that you can please everyone around you. You will ultimately end up sacrificing something that is essential to your own happiness.

2. There are many definitions of success, find your own

Each of us is responsible for defining what represents success for ourselves.

To some people, success is a six-figure paycheck, a mortgage on a two-story home, and a new car, while to others it can be something completely different. [Read: How to take your next step to success]

You need to map out and understand what you personally need to achieve in your life to be considered successful by your own standards. 

If that is a nonprofit job that doesn’t rake in the big bucks but allows you to follow your passion and purpose, then so be it.

3. Your friends will most definitely change over time

Not many of us keep the exact same friends into adulthood. Of course, you may find a soul mate in one or two of your friends. But you are also bound to lose friends and gain new ones. [Read: When and how to end a friendship if they’re toxic and holding you back]

We change friendships over time because we are constantly changing and growing. Interests evolve, and people transform into very different individuals. Changing friends usually isn’t a negative thing, instead, it is a reflection of your personal growth.

4. Despite what you’ve always been told, you can choose your family

You cannot change your family so you should figure out how to deal with them now, or you’ll lose your mind trying later in life.

You are absolutely stuck with some people to whom you are related by blood. But that doesn’t mean you have to consider them important people in your life. [Read: Toxic family members – 15 signs and reasons to cut them off for good]

There are some family members that we absolutely can choose. What about our life partners? We are fully able to choose the person we want to spend the rest of our life with.

We get to hand-select that person and assure that they hold most of the qualities we desire and ensure that they meet our fundamental needs and wants.

So, in fact, we can choose our family. While some relations might be set in blood, others are up to us.

5. Relationships take a lot of hard work

Building off on point number 4, relationships take a lot of work to be happy and healthy. Whether this is a relationship with a friend, family member, professional, or life partner, you are going to need to work at it. [Read: 16 signs you’re settling in an unhappy relationship]

Working at a relationship means taking the time to understand the other person and their goals, finding out how to be a positive presence in their lives *and vice versa*, and how to compromise.

Human relationships are absolutely necessary to feel connected to your world and to feel happiness. But you need to make the effort in these relationships in order to reap the benefits. [Read: 25 must-follow relationship rules to have a successful relationship]

6. If you want to see change, you need to make it happen

Don’t sit around waiting for great things to happen in your life. If you want and need something to change, you need to be actively involved in pursuing results.

This can be in terms of relationships, jobs, personal well-being, and a lot of other things. You must be proactive in doing. 

Simply thinking about change is not enough. You need to take the steps involved in altering your current situation. [Read: Big telltale excuses that take you nowhere!]

7. You need to get healthy

Your body is your own personal sanctuary. If you treat it like it’s not important and fill it with toxins and chemicals, it will start to resist you. 

You need to find a balance that works for you and your lifestyle. Not all of us want to be at the gym five days a week, but that doesn’t mean we should never lift a finger.

Whether it is a walk down your street or a full-on cross-fit workout, you need to move. And after you move, you need to fill yourself with fresh food meant for human consumption. [Read: 25 tips to motivate yourself and work out effectively]

Not the boxes of human-manipulated ingredients. Feel good about your body. It will change over time, but it’s what you’ve got.

8. You should care about things happening around you

There are buckets of social, political, economic, and environmental problems facing our generation, and many future generations to come. You need to stop living in your comfortable bubble and start becoming educated on important matters around you. 

War and conflict continue to plague countries around the world, resource exploitation is a real issue happening now. [Confession: It’s embarrassing to save the world!]

You cannot avoid these things any longer, and you need to take some form of responsibility for making our world a better place. That doesn’t mean starting a multi-million dollar charity or donating 40 hours of your time a week. 

But it does mean you need to take small steps towards becoming a knowledgeable and more sustainable human being.

9. If you want something, take it

If there is something that you want, you know you deserve, and you will take full responsibility for it, then you need to take it. Stop worrying if you are going to offend someone, and go for it. [Read: How to build self-confidence – 16 ways to realize you’re worth it]

If this is a promotion you know you deserve, or a relationship you know is bound for greatness, take the risk and make it happen.

10. You need to find a purpose

Having a passion is half the battle, but what allows your passion to translate into effective action is purpose. You must define your purpose in order to pursue meaningful life goals. 

That can be career-related, or just in general what you strive to achieve in your lifetime. [Read: What should I do with my life to make it better?]

11. You define your own happiness

Kanye West makes a valid point, “I refuse to accept other people’s ideas of happiness for me. As if there’s a ‘one size fits all’ standard for happiness.”

If you can clearly outline what allows you to be happy, then you’ve accomplished what some people strive towards, for their entire lives.

Know what makes you happy, because if you try to live someone else’s life, you are bound to be unsatisfied. [Read: How to be happy in life – 23 hacks to find real happiness instantly]

12. Take the more difficult route and be yourself

Defining purpose, finding passion, knowing what makes you happy, and understanding your personal vision of success are extremely difficult to comprehend and achieve.

But, if you can organize just exactly how you want to live your own life and truly be yourself, regardless of others’ expectations and judgments, you are going to find fulfillment and happiness. It’s your life, and we really only do have one chance, so it’s better to be yourself.

[Read: Happy things you need in life to be truly happy]

If you’ve been wondering how to change your life with no idea where to start, these tips should give you food for thought. Remember, this is your novel, so make sure you write a good one!

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of LovePanky.com, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...