We all know what it’s like to be so shy around our crushes that we don’t know what to do. It’s completely normal.
When we like someone but don’t know how they feel about us, we always get so paranoid about how we should act in front of them or what we should say. And when we overthink, it’s easier to mess it up.
It doesn’t have to be like that. Just be yourself and follow these tips, and you’ll find the courage to approach the person you like.
[Read: 27 painful & soul-crushing signs your crush doesn’t like you back]
Not every one of us is a master at flirting. Sometimes, the conversations flow well in our head, but when it’s time to act out those fake scenarios, the words get stuck in our throat and our limbs go stiff.
You may be an excellent flirt as well, but when feelings are involved, it’s hard to keep it cool. This has happened to all of us at least once in our lives. We tend to forget who we are in front of the person we like.
But it’s time to change that. If you want to know how to stop being shy around your crush, here are 19 tips to help you improve.
[Read: Having a crush while in a relationship: why it’s okay & what to know]
A lot of the time, we get shy around people because we aren’t familiar with them. We worry that they might have different opinions from us on many things, so we have to be sure we don’t accidentally offend them. That’s why we think hard about every word we say to strangers.
When you have a crush, you want them to like you. So if you don’t know your crush very well, you don’t know what you should or shouldn’t say. This leads to you being shy around your crush and things getting awkward.
The more you know about your crush, the more confident you’ll get when talking to them. You’ll know exactly what topics to go into detail about and which topics to avoid.
It’s the same as going in for a job interview. You’ll find it easier when you’ve done your research on the company, right? [Read: How to approach your crush: get noticed & impress them all at once]
There’s a huge difference between the two. Are you a naturally shy and introverted person or is this stemming from low self-esteem? This is something to consider because it can help explain your behavior.
If this is low self-esteem, you don’t have the confidence in yourself to think that they’ll like you back. That’s why you’re being shy around your crush. [Read: How to decipher between social anxiety and shyness]
So if you think it’s because of low self-esteem, you should start working on it by learning to love yourself.
Yes, you don’t need to love yourself in order to be loved. It’s actually a toxic piece of advice. However, you need to love yourself in order to believe that other people can love you.
Your crush could be dropping major hints, but you’d still choose to ignore them if you wouldn’t let yourself believe they could ever like you back. [Read: How to date when you have low self-esteem and find true happiness]
Low self-esteem and a lack of confidence go hand-in-hand. If you want to work on your self-esteem, you need to do things that increase the confidence you have in yourself.
Focus on the areas you’re not confident in and work on them. For example, if you don’t like your body, work on dressing in clothes that make you feel good. If you think you’re boring, get a hobby and educate yourself.
It’s all about the small changes that can greatly improve your confidence. [Read: Powerful changes to build up your confidence]
Your self-esteem and confidence aren’t going to change overnight. So, while you’re working on that, prepare yourself ahead of time before speaking with your crush.
If you’re naturally a shy person, this will work great as well. So, before you approach your crush, think about what you want to talk about, especially in topics that interest you. [Read: What to talk about with your crush to keep them engaged and excited]
Now, don’t prepare a topic about metaphysics. This isn’t what you need.
Your number one goal is to talk to your crush without feeling overwhelmed and shy. So the more complex the topic is, the more likely you’ll freak out, stutter, and forget what you want to say. Just keep the topics simple and relevant to both of you.
[Read: 30 weird facts about guys, their deviant mind, crushes & love life]
Typically, shy people avoid talking about their accomplishments and talents. This is because they don’t want to get more attention on them or sound like they’re bragging.
But let’s face it, most of our conversations are based on talking about ourselves. You have to show your crush that you’re proud of yourself. Give them a reason to be interested in you. [Read: How to talk to your crush and make them fall for you]
When we’re around our crush, it’s hard to act natural. But you won’t be able to move forward with your crush if you’re trying to be someone you’re not.
Look at how you react when you’re feeling uncomfortable. Do you stutter? Maybe you bite your nails? Avoid eye contact? Find out the signs and then work on them. [Read: How to be comfortable with yourself – A guide to not giving a f*ck]
When you’re nervous, you physically react. Let’s say you’re scared of spiders, so when you encounter one, you avoid it. The same thing happens when you’re shy. You avoid what makes you feel nervous, which is facing your crush.
It may be easier to accept your shyness as it is, but it won’t get your crush to notice you. You’ll have to push through it and not allow it to stop you from getting what you want.
[Read: Gym crush: 17 ways to approach a guy & get him interested at the gym]
You’re freaking out, which is completely understandable. But rushing through a situation won’t make it go any better. You need to slow it down and take your time.
Your crush may need to get to know you better to see all your great qualities. So, don’t be discouraged after just one conversation. If you stick around long enough, you’ll give them a better chance to learn about you.
[Read: How to impress your crush: 25 tips to steal their heart effortlessly]
The best way to talk to your crush when you’re shy is to text them instead of in person. By texting your crush, you’re showing your personality without actually facing them.
Also, texting gives your more time to think about what you want to say, which takes more pressure off your back. This false sense of security can really help you overcome your shyness and have you naturally express yourself. [Read: 20 flirty ways to text your crush and get them interested]
Social media is a great way to break the ice and bond with someone.
If you two are both on Instagram, send each other funny reels and memes. If you’re both on TikTok, tag each other in relatable TikToks. You can also comment on their posts and react to their stories.
Once you’ve warmed up to each other on social media, you can be more comfortable with each other in real life. [Read: 41 casual conversation starters to use with a guy to get him talking]
You’re locked in your comfort zone like we all are, and it can be hard to get out of it. But if you don’t try to, you won’t be able to make any progress.
You’ll have endless crushes in your life, so use each one of them to help you learn and grow. The only way to conquer your shyness is to keep on moving forward. [Read: How to play it cool and win over your crush]
Ask yourself why you’re trying so hard for. You don’t need to change for someone to the point where it makes you awkward and uncomfortable.
When we like someone, we want to offer them the most flawless version of us. But we’re not that person most of the time. In order for things to go further, your crush must like you for who you are.
If what’s holding you back is because you’re afraid they don’t like the real you, maybe they’re not worth it. Or maybe you’re just overthinking, and they do like you back. It’s up to you to figure that out. [Read: Does he know I like him? 18 signs he knows you have a crush on him]
If you feel too shy to be alone with your crush, why not hang out in a group? It’ll be less awkward if their friends or your friends are there to fill in the awkward silences. You’ll feel a lot more assured having your friends’ support.
During those hangouts, if you begin to feel a little braver, you can suggest going outside with your crush for some air, or you two can leave first to get some quality time.
[Read: 20 subtle secrets to play it cool with a guy & not be distant or clingy]
If you’re struggling to have a conversation, find something you both have in common, like a topic you know a lot about, and discuss it. It’s always easier to talk about something you’re passionate about, right?
So if there’s this movie you both like, talk about its plot twists, the drama between the cast members, or how excited you are about the sequel. [Read: How to start a conversation with your crush: the secrets to impress]
A little alcohol will help you loosen up. You can have a drink before seeing them or ask them to go out for drinks with you. Once the alcohol kicks in, you won’t be nervous anymore.
Make sure not to drink too much, though. Have fun but also be responsible. [Read: How to tell if your crush likes you: 20 subtle but failproof signs]
Humor is a great way to lighten up the conversation. Take it easy and be playful. Your crush will think you’re fun to be around, which helps you both open up to each other.
But if humor isn’t your forte, don’t try too hard to be funny. It’ll be more awkward if you tell a joke and you’re the only one laughing.
[Read: 71 friendly, funny questions to get to know someone in a happy way]
The biggest reason we’re shy around our crushes is that we think they’re better than us. We think they’re this god-like person that we don’t deserve.
But they’re not celebrities. They’re just your crush. They have flaws just like you. They make mistakes, too.
The more you’ll get to know them, the more flaws you’ll notice, and then they’ll stop being perfect to you. Only then do you know for sure if your feelings are true. Because you can stop crushing on someone as fast as you fell for them.
[Read: How to effortlessly steal the heart of your crush]
This isn’t going to be an easy thing to overcome, but it is possible. Stay focused and follow these tips to stop being shy around your crush. Practice them and you’ll see the difference in no time!
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