It’s super annoying to get all dolled up and head out for a fancy date only to have your man very obviously checking out the bartender’s cleavage. You end up annoyed and he has seemingly no idea why. So why do men look at other women when they know it’ll just piss off their loves?
You’d think he would just stop if he knows it upsets you, right? But that’s just not the way guys think. Sometimes they don’t even realize they’re staring at another girl until you point it out with a facial expression that sends his heart shooting into his throat.
If you think about it, you also look at other men. Not necessarily in such an obvious, gawking way, but you do. You may look over at a man and think he’s handsome but it won’t really have an impact on you.
The main difference is that you don’t make a thing of it. It’s usually brief and doesn’t leave a lasting impact. You may not even notice it yourself.
But men tend to be a bit more obvious about it. And while they may not have any intentions with their wandering eyes, it can still feel that way based on how often you catch him doing it.
[Read: How to get rid of your boyfriend’s wandering eye once and for all!]
If you’ve had this on your mind for a while and just can’t figure it out, we can help. Here are some of the reasons guys tend to look at other women. Spoiler – it might not be what you want to know.
They just are. Men’s minds work more on visual cues whereas women’s work on emotional information. So if a guy is looking at another woman, it’s because he saw her. Period. Some women don’t even have to be all that attractive for men to look at them.
Guys will look over at attractive women. That’s just how it is because genetically, they’re programmed to mate. And while it doesn’t excuse ogling or staring, it does explain why they look over even if you’re standing right there. [Read: Attraction theory and what makes you desirable in someone’s eyes?]
They look by instinct and then stare because they want to. This means they may end up looking a bit too long and that allows you to see them looking at other women. So it could be a result of catching themselves instinctually looking a bit too late.
This is really the basis of why men look at other women and what you probably already know. If a woman is attractive, he’s going to look. That’s just the way it is and while smart men can refrain from doing this, others ogle a bit longer and that’s what upsets you. [Read: What turns guys on when they see a girl? 34 sexual turn ons that arouse all men in seconds]
He could be distracted by her beauty or even just in general. He could not even be staring at her but looking at something else.
Don’t just jump to conclusions about where his eyes are aimed just because they’re in the same direction as a woman. [Read: How women can get a guy’s attention in any circumstance]
If this is true, you’ll know before the sign of looking at other women. But if you two are arguing or even just not getting along while out together, he might look at another woman. This could be to spite you or it could be because he’s wondering what it’ll be like to be with her.
People are curious beings. We’re always imagining scenarios in our heads and wondering what our lives would look like in a different lifetime. He could just be curious about a woman in this way.
It doesn’t mean he’s pining for her necessarily. He could just be daydreaming.
A guy is going to look at anybody making a scene – especially a woman. If there’s a fight or she’s being loud and most people are looking at her, of course, he will, too. Don’t expect him not to because you probably are, too. [Read: How to get your boyfriend’s attention when he’s ignoring you]
It’s really hard to avert your gaze from someone wearing something that is supposed to draw it. Sure, he could look away but if the outfit is really ridiculous or even laughable, he’s going to look. This is a huge reason men look at other women. [Read: 25 things guys find very sexy and attractive about a girl]
We know this might not be what you want to hear, but if your attention is on her for whatever reason – perhaps jealousy – he’ll look at her. But the thing is, he’ll also look at other men for this reason too.
It’s the same as if you stare at a girl BECAUSE he is. So if your attention is on her because you find her beautiful, his will probably be, too.
If you’re wondering why men look at other women, you need to know that not every guy looking at every girl wants to be with her.
There are a lot of different conclusions women tend to jump to and these are the ones that are NOT usually accurate.
Looking at another woman does not equate to wanting to leave you. The many reasons above explain why this is true.
He could just be looking because she was loud, he could be looking because she’s cute, but that doesn’t mean anything more, really. [Read: The guy’s view on what’s cute and what’s sexy about a girl]
This is what most women suspect. That their men are looking at other women because they’re hotter or sexier than you are.
That’s not usually the reality. A guy can think a woman is beautiful without thinking she’s more beautiful than you.
We know you think this is the reason men look at other women, and this could be the case sometimes, but it’s usually not.
A guy isn’t going to stare at a woman and imagine what she looks like naked. Not with you sitting right there watching his every move. It’s just not reality. [Read: What do guys think of their female friends? The secrets revealed]
This is another thing women tend to think that often actually stems from their own insecurities.
If you’re feeling down about something about yourself, it’ll often manifest in the explanation you give as to why your man is looking at some other girl. Solve this issue within yourself before drawing conclusions. [Read: 14 surefire signs your guy thinks you’re smokin’ hot and desirable!]
It’s easy to watch your guy ogling at another woman and suddenly feel like you’re not enough. However, that’s probably not what’s happening.
Again, there are many reasons that woman caught his eye but none of them have to do with you not being enough for him.
Think about it. The only reason it irritates you that he looks at other women is that you fear that he thinks they might be better than you. And you think that if he’s looking elsewhere, then he will act upon his thoughts and desires.
But that’s not necessarily true. We all like to look at attractive people, but that doesn’t mean we’re going to act upon our feelings or cheat on our partners as soon as we come across a sexy face in a restaurant or on an Instagram feed! [Read: The 4 most common but painful types of cheating in a relationship]
Most people don’t have great self-confidence – especially women. And let’s face it, you wouldn’t be bothered that your man looks at other women if you weren’t at least a little insecure, right?
It’s normal to compare yourself to other people. After all, just look at what the media tells us. It says that we all need to look like supermodels and movie stars to be “acceptable.” But think about it. How many supermodel-looking people do you know in real life? Probably not many.
So, you need to realize that your insecurities about yourself are not only your creation. The world can be cruel to people’s self-esteem. We always see someone prettier, skinnier, richer, and something else that we think is “better” than us. [Read: Does your man always stare at other women?]
But you need to realize that you are perfect just the way you are. You are unique, and there is no other person in the world just like you!
Regardless, you probably want to know how to handle it if your man is looking at other women. Don’t worry, we have your answers right here.
That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t notice it, but act like you don’t see him looking at someone else. If you ignore it, then it tells him that you don’t care if he looks at other women because you are secure with yourself and your relationship.
Instead, bring up a topic of conversation that he would like to talk about. That way, his focus goes away from the woman he was staring at and on to talking with you. Don’t even acknowledge that his eye was wandering. [Read: How to keep a guy interested in 30 effortlessly easy and sexy ways]
If you can’t ignore it, then at least don’t yell or berate him for looking. If you pick a fight with him because of that, it will annoy him. Plus, it makes you look insecure and like a drama queen.
Believe it or not, most men like self-confident women. So, if you are making a mountain out of a molehill, it will definitely turn him off.
And what would happen then? He’d probably want to look at other women more. So, it has the opposite effect of what you were hoping for.
Instead, you can tease him about it. Say something like, “Ha! Caught ya!” And he will be caught off guard, but will see you laughing. It’s best to use humor to diffuse the situation rather than get upset about it. [Read: How to be a high value woman a guy would never want to leave]
You might be thinking… what? Are you crazy? Why would I do that? Well, here’s the reasoning. If you point out other women to him, then it shows that you are confident in your own skin. Plus, it takes looking at them from a solo activity that he is doing to a mutual one between the two of you!
In fact, it might not be as much fun for him if you are gawking at other women with him. If he knows that he can look and it’s okay with you, it won’t be nearly as much fun for him to do it. But you don’t want to do it constantly, because then it will seem like you are overcompensating if you do. [Read: 18 ways to have high self esteem and start winning in life]
Hey, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. At least that’s how the saying goes. In other words, if he can do it, then you can do it too!
Give him a taste of his own medicine by noticing other guys. Don’t do it to be spiteful. And don’t push his face into it.
Just notice men as much as he notices women. See if it bothers him. If not, fine. But if it does, you can calmly point out that he does the same thing and maybe you both shouldn’t do it. [Read: What makes a guy creepy? The signs and types of guys you should avoid]
If you had great self-esteem, you wouldn’t be bothered by his wandering eye. Instead, you would have the attitude like, “If he thinks those women are better than me, then he has the free will to go after them.” [Read: How to build self-confidence – 16 ways to realize you’re worth it]
You see, you need to feel like a “prize.” He already won the prize – you! So, why would he ever want to be with anyone else? When you feel good about yourself, then you don’t really mind when your man looks at other women, because you are very secure.
[Read: 22 early warning signs of a bad boyfriend you need to leave ASAP]
So why do men look at other women? The truth is that it’s mostly just instinct. They see an attractive face and are drawn in by it. It doesn’t mean anything significant the majority of the time, but if it bothers you, keep these suggestions in mind and use them.
Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.
LOVEPANKY IN YOUR INBOX
Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox!