Whether your relationship is fresh or years old, you might not know everything about each other. These relationship questions are sure to give you insight!
A relationship isn’t just about having an attraction to each other. You’ll need to be vulnerable, open, honest, and attentive with each other. All of which are traits of healthy communication that you can improve by asking relationship questions.
So, when was the last time you had a deep conversation with your partner? Deep and meaningful conversations are a clear sign that you and your partner are on the right path to a long-lasting relationship.
If you’re struggling to find the right ways to create a meaningful conversation, asking fun and deep questions is the perfect way to kickstart one. Not only do these kinds of questions promote communication, but they also deepen intimacy in a relationship.
So, how can intimacy better your relationship with your partner and what kinds of questions can you ask? Read on to learn the do’s, don’ts, and plenty of examples of fun and deep questions to ask in a relationship.
[Read: 37 rules to be a good partner in a relationship & better your love life]
How do relationship questions deepen intimacy?
A strong, healthy relationship consists of emotional intimacy, and asking your partner unique questions can strengthen that. This is because when you get to know about the nooks and crannies of your partner’s life, your connection to one another deepens.
Communication is key to developing a stronger bond with someone. Discussing your thoughts, sharing your ideas, and actively listening to your partner is communication at its finest. When you go back and forth disclosing your feelings with your partner, your closeness grows.
If you don’t know much about your partner, how can you really love them wholly? This is where asking relationship questions is essential. The only way to fully know about someone is to ask!
The importance of emotional intimacy in a relationship
When it comes to relationships, we all have emotional needs that have to be met in order to feel content with our partner. And emotional intimacy plays a major role in our needs. [Read: 33 emotional needs in a relationship, signs it’s unmet & how to meet them]
Emotional intimacy refers to the special connection that you create with your partner through sharing emotions and letting your guard down with each other. It’s so important that your relationship has stable emotional intimacy because it contributes to your comfort, security, and passion together. Sexual intimacy is also strengthened through emotional intimacy.
Without emotional intimacy, your relationship harbors indifference. You may feel distant, undervalued, or like you can’t be your true self around each other. These are all problems that put your relationship at risk of failure.
What kinds of questions build intimacy?
Can any question build intimacy in a relationship? Yes… And no.
Yes, asking any question in your relationship can build intimacy because the act of healthily communicating brings you closer together. Specifically open-ended questions about your partner’s values, desires, upbringing, and future contribute to emotional intimacy.
Yet, some questions are more harmful than good. Asking questions with accusations is a no-go for building intimacy in a relationship. So, never go into a question pointing your finger at them with blame.
Asking questions that are close-ended may be well-intended, but they don’t build intimacy as much as we like to think they do. This is because not much effort is put into communicating when a question can be answered in autopilot with a simple “yes” or “no.” Avoid simple, space-filler questions about your partner’s day, or anything they can respond to with “good,” “fine,” “yes,” “no,” or “nothing.”
Luckily for you, we have unique relationship questions prepared to help strengthen your emotional connection with your partner to truly get communicating. [Read: How to be vulnerable in a relationship, open up, and 28 secrets to grow closer]
The best relationship questions to test your compatibility and create better love
So, where to start? Sit down with your partner on a lazy Sunday afternoon, and ask each other these relationship questions.
Communication is a two-way street, so be sure that you are answering as many questions as you are asking. Your partner deserves as much opportunity to be seen and heard as you do, so go into these relationship questions with an open mind.
And by the time you’re done with the relationship questions, you’ll know more about each other and will also understand each other’s approach to life too. [Read: 21 secrets to be a happy couple that’s truly in love and envied by all]
1. What is your favorite memory from your childhood?
2. Do you have any regrets?
3. How have you changed since we met?
4. What’s your idea of a perfect romantic vacation?
5. What would you define as cheating?
6. What are your relationship deal breakers?
7. What offends you the most?
8. What is something that brings you happiness every day?
9. How should finances be planned between a couple?
10. What scares you most about the future?
11. What was your first impression of me?
12. What is your most treasured possession?
13. Is there something you’ve always wanted to do that we haven’t done yet?
14. How would you want to spend a special day with each other? [Read: Tips to have a great time when you travel as a couple]
15. What is the most special memory of us that you hold?
16. Do you think romantic gifts have to be memorable or do they have to be useful? Why?
17. Would you feel more secure if you knew all of my friends? Why or why not?
18. Do you think past relationship secrets should always be kept hidden?
19. Do you think confessions make a relationship stronger?
20. Is it fine for a partner to use the toilet with the door open?
21. Are there any ways in which you struggle with confidence?
22. Which love song best describes our relationship?
23. What do you think about my family?
24. In a relationship, what would make you feel happier: sharing or sacrificing? [Read: Unconditional love – what it is and isn’t, 37 signs you’ve felt it, and steps to find it]
25. Would you lie to make me happy and where would you draw the line?
26. What are some annoying habits of other couples that irritate you the most?
27. What is something I say all of the time that you love or hate and why?
28. How do you vent out your frustrations in a relationship? [Read: Relationship arguments – 38 tips and ways to fight fair and grow closer in love]
29. When was the last time I appeared in your dreams?
30. Do you have a living will? If so, what does it look like? If not, why is that?
31. What do you think you need to work on personally?
32. How often would you want to go out on a date with me in a month?
33. What is your biggest sexual turn-off?
34. What do you find sexiest about me and why?
35. What’s your wildest sexual fantasy that you’d want to try with me?
36. How often do you hold grudges?
37. Do you believe in fate? Why or why not?
38. If you were convinced that I was making a bad decision, what would you do about it?
39. If you won the lottery, what would you do with your earnings?
40. When was the last time you disliked me?
41. What were your first spoken words?
42. What’s the craziest thing you’d be willing to do for me?
43. Do you want kids in the future? If so, what kind of a parent do you think you’d be?
44. When do you think a person is ready for marriage? [Read: Is your boyfriend going to propose? 21 signs and hints to get him to do it]
45. What’s the one thing about me you’d like to change?
46. In an argument, whose side would you take, mine or your mother’s?
47. Would you relocate for love? How far would you go? [Read: Relationship rules – 30 must-know tips to live your best love life!]
48. Would you be open to disclosing all your health issues to me?
49. If you’re having a bad day, would you want me to leave you alone or spend time with you and cheer you up?
50. How do you feel about traditional gender roles?
51. What is your relationship with your parents like?
52. What was your first relationship like?
53. What is the best way to handle a disagreement? [Read: 28 heartfelt ways to say you’re sorry and apologize to someone you love]
54. If money wasn’t an issue, would you feel secure in staying at home in the future, or would you prefer to have a job?
55. How do you handle stress?
56. Is sharing finances something that interests you or turns you off? Why?
57. What does this relationship mean to you?
58. Where do you see us going?
59. Do you believe in soulmates?
60. What TV couple do you think we’re most like and why? [Read: Couples goals – 58 fake and real ideas you must add to your relationship goals]
61. Do you have a savings account for any particular future purchases/goals?
62. What have you always wanted to tell me but haven’t for whatever reason?
63. What embarrasses you the most?
64. What is your biggest fear?
65. Do you follow a religion? If so, which one?
66. How can I help when you’re upset?
67. Would you want to raise your children how you were raised? Why or why not?
68. How invested are you in politics?
69. Will you be frequently visiting your extended family or having them visit?
70. How would you handle having a child with developmental issues?
71. Once you are settled down, do you plan to stay there? Why or why not?
72. When do you think you will want to settle down?
73. Where do you see us in 20 years? [Read: Relationship stages – the phases couples go through by months and years]
74. When did you know you had real feelings for me?
75. What rules do you live by?
76. Would you prefer the busy city life, the calm rural life, or a traveling lifestyle? Why do you think your choice suits you?
77. What about me worries you?
78. What do you think I struggle with the most in life?
79. What stresses me out?
80. Do you like pets? Are there any animals you love, or any that are a no-go?
81. Do you worry about our finances? [Read: How to talk about money with your partner without fighting about it]
82. What are your main priorities in life?
83. When was the last time you broke out of your comfort zone?
84. What do you think should be taught in schools but isn’t?
85. Are you ashamed of anything?
86. What’s on your bucket list? [Read: Couple’s bucket list – 32 must-do things to create experiences together]
87. What is a trait you dislike?
88. What are you most proud of yourself for?
89. What are you proud of me for?
90. Do you feel like you’ve missed out on anything?
91. Where do you feel the most comfortable?
92. Who in your life impacts you the most?
93. Is there anyone in your life you’d like to cut out?
94. What do you believe happens when you die?
95. Do you have any end-of-life wishes? Any funeral requests?
96. What is something you judge people for?
97. What do you wish you could do but can’t? [Read: 60 perfect traits to be a good boyfriend – that’ll make you better than the best!]
98. What is something you’ve always been curious about?
99. If you could make one law, what would it be?
100. If money was no object, what would your dream job be?
101. Do you think you’re a trusting person?
102. What do you want to change about yourself *not looks*?
103. What is the healthiest part of your life?
104. What was your biggest mistake in life? [Read: How to stop making the same mistakes in a relationship and learn]
105. Do you think the world is progressing or regressing?
106. What is the worst part about being lied to?
107. What is your favorite thing about your hometown? Your least favorite thing?
108. What is something that’s missing in your life?
109. What is something you know will happen, but you are dreading it?
110. What is the hardest thing you’ve gone through?
111. Would you be open to couples therapy? [Read: 50 secrets and early signs of a good relationship that make a great one]
112. If we had kids, who would you want their godparents to be?
113. Do you think that you’re self-aware?
114. Is it hard for you to forgive? Do you tend to hold grudges?
115. What movie, book, or song hits closest to home for you?
116. Have you ever had a near-death experience?
117. How do you do your bit for the environment?
118. Do you think you follow or believe in stereotypes? [Read: Dating stereotypes of women in a man’s mind]
119. How do you practice anti-racism?
120. What celebrity do you look up to the most?
121. What news story during your life impacted you the most?
122. What is something expensive that’s worth the money?
123. What are some societal standards that you question?
124. What do you want to be remembered for?
125. What is something you were surprised to learn recently?
126. How do you feel about the justice system?
127. Who do you trust?
128. Who is someone most people like but you don’t?
129. When was the last time you cried and why?
130. Do you consider yourself to be open-minded?
131. What is a sign that warns you not to trust someone? [Read: Trust issues in a relationship – 22 whys and ways to get over it together]
132. Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental illness? Or believe you suffer from one?
133. How do you feel about homeopathic medicine?
134. How do you feel about social media?
135. How likely are you to trust what you read online?
136. Do you believe the government or corporations listen to us through our devices?
137. Do you believe in conspiracy theories?
138. What have been the biggest events in your life so far?
139. What is your biggest guilty pleasure? [Read: 33 guilty pleasures that are best kept a secret]
140. How do you feel about your body?
141. What is something you’re in denial about?
142. What event in your childhood has impacted you the most?
143. Which of your parents are you most like?
144. How have I impressed you?
145. Why do you think we work so well together?
146. What makes me sad?
147. Do you think we depend on each other too much?
148. How important is it to take pictures?
149. Do you miss the way things were before we became obsessed with the internet?
150. Do you think we communicate well enough?
151. Are we adventurous enough?
152. What is the hardest part of being in a relationship?
153. What is the best part about being in a relationship?
154. What can you not forgive? [Read: How to forgive and forget – 24 thoughts to decide on the right step]
155. Do you think we are equal partners?
156. Do you think we have a good sex life?
157. When you were a kid, what did you dream about being when you grew up?
158. What scares you the most about being a parent?
159. How important is sex in a relationship?
160. How did your last relationship end? [Read: The talking stage – what is it, how long it lasts, and signs and ways to get past it]
161. Who is a couple you look up to?
162. Is feminism something that is important to you? How important?
163. Do you have a nemesis? Who?
164. How do you wish people would describe you?
165. Do you think others see you as you see yourself?
166. How have you changed since high school?
167. If you could give your younger self advice what would it be? [Read: 48 real secrets to change your life and find the right path when you’re lost]
168. Would you ever sign up for a reality TV show? Which one?
169. How do you describe me to other people?
170. What do you want us to accomplish together?
171. How much importance do you put on special occasions?
172. What traits of mine made you fall for me?
173. Do you have doubts about us?
174. Were you looking for a relationship when we met? Why or why not?
175. If one or both of us couldn’t have children biologically, what would you want to do?
176. What are your retirement goals?
177. How would you feel about your parents or mine living with us in the future?
178. How do you show love?
179. When do you feel loved by me? [Read: 28 cute ways to show affection in a relationship even if it feels awkward]
180. What do you miss about your childhood?
181. What are your goals for this year?
182. Would you rather rewrite your past or know your future? Why?
183. Where is a place that isn’t around anymore, but you wish it was?
184. How do you feel about cancel culture?
185. What do we have in common?
186. What is our biggest hurdle as a couple?
187. How important are gifts to you? [Read: 67 sweet yet small romantic gestures that show love in the biggest way]
188. If you could fix any problem in the world what would it be?
189. What is something you think about every day?
190. Do you think I’ve changed since we met?
191. How have you changed in the last year?
192. Do you wish we were more romantic?
193. Do we surprise each other enough?
194. Is there something missing from our relationship?
195. Who do you miss most that isn’t around anymore?
196. What is something you are 100% sure of?
197. What are things you used to do to impress me before we started dating?
198. Do you have any recurring dreams? If so, what are they?
199. What color do you see yourself as and why?
200. What color do you see me as and why?
201. What color would you say describes our relationship best?
202. What is your love language?
203. What was the best thing that happened to you recently?
204. When your parents get old, how do you plan on taking care of them if you do?
205. If you could eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?
206. If we were on a dating show, do you think we would realistically win?
207. Would you redo our first kiss if you could? What things would you do differently?
208. What does your ideal night in look like?
209. Have you ever broken the law? Why and how do you feel about it now?
210. When do you think it is okay to break the law?
211. What lessons will you want to teach your children?
212. Are you opposed to private schools? Would you want your children in public or private school and why?
213. What thoughts get you through a hard day? [Read: 19 secrets to open up to someone you’re dating even if you’re scared]
214. How can I be there for you during a difficult time?
215. Would you want to live near your parents when you settle down? Why or why not?
216. Are you more motivated by praise or criticism?
217. How do you feel about opposite-gender friendships?
218. Are you more trusting or not when it comes to other people?
229. What’s your opinion on long-distance relationships? Do you think you could successfully be in one? Why or why not?
220. Is monogamy important to you? Why or why not? [Read: Monogamous relationship – what it is, 51 signs & ways to be happy in monogamy]
221. What are your favorite and least favorite household chores?
222. Do you prefer long showers or short showers? Hot showers or cold showers?
223. What is your favorite candle scent and why?
224. When you imagine having a wedding ceremony, what does it look like?
225. Who would you pick to be your best man if you were having a wedding tomorrow?
226. Do you have any phobias? What about unrealistic fears?
227. If you had superpowers, do you think you would use them for good or bad?
228. If you were the opposite gender for the day, what would you do?
229.Do you prefer to stay in on the weekends or go out?
230. How do you decide to save money or spend it? [Read: 17 brilliant yet simple ways to save money as a couple]
231. What is the worst food you have ever tried?
232. What is the best food you have ever tried? Why?
233. Do you think you can only have one best friend or multiple best friends? Why?
234. If your friend was cheating on their partner, would you tell their partner? Why or why not?
235. Do you consider me to be your best friend? Why?
236. At what point in our past did you realize you loved me?
237. Have you ever been jealous of a friend of mine? What caused that?
238. What can I do or say to be more reassuring? [Read: 48 heartfelt ways to prove you love someone & show them you really care]
239. What is the one thing you would never change about yourself?
240. What is your favorite thing I wear and why?
241. Do you prefer to plan events or to be surprised?
242. What was your favorite book as a child? Is it still one of your favorites?
243. Do I compliment you enough? What qualities would you prefer more compliments on?
244. What does your dream dinner date look like? Home-cooked meal at home or a fancy restaurant?
245. How much space is important for you in our relationship? [Read: 15 ways to give space in a relationship and feel closer than ever before]
246. What makes you feel nostalgic?
247. Do you believe in karma? Why or why not?
248. What is your favorite thing about us?
249. What is something I don’t already know about you? [Read: 71 friendly, funny questions to get to know someone in a happy way]
250. If you were in a relationship with someone else, do you think you’d act the way you do now? Or do you think you’d behave differently around a different partner?
All of these relationship questions bond you and your partner in a new way and on a new level. We wouldn’t recommend simply sitting down and asking these questions in a list. Rather, pick the ones you want the answers to and which you are also prepared to answer.
Be open and release all judgment. These relationship questions are a path for you to get to know each other better and strengthen your connection, not an excuse to judge or mock one another.
[Read: 50 best relationship topics and things to talk about in a relationship]
Building emotional intimacy starts with being open to communication and vulnerability. Asking and answering these relationship questions together will deepen your bond and bring you closer than ever before!