90 Deep, Fun Questions to Get to Know Someone & Read Them in Minutes!
These questions to get to know someone are your shortcut to real chemistry. Ask these and you’ll know if you’re vibing, or wasting your time.
Have you ever sat across someone new, smiling, sipping, maybe flirting… but deep down wondering who are you really? That’s where the right questions to get to know someone come in.
Not the surface stuff like “what do you do?” or “where are you from?”, but questions that peel back layers, make them laugh, get them thinking, and slowly reveal the stuff that actually matters.
Psychologists call this self-disclosure, and it’s the foundation of emotional intimacy. In fact, a famous study by Arthur Aron et al. found that strangers felt significantly closer after answering a set of structured personal questions, the now-famous “36 Questions That Lead to Love.”
📚 Source: The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness, Aron et al., 1997
These questions below are built on self-disclosure principles to create the most fun, deep, and telling questions to ask to get to know someone romantically, in no time.
[Read: 30 Ways to Get to Know Someone, Open Up to Them & Create a Genuine Bond]
Ready for a preview? Try these five:
- What’s your go-to guilty pleasure movie?
- What would you do with a million dollars, no strings attached?
- Would you rather be loved or understood?
- When was the last time something made you cry happy tears?
- What’s your most controversial food opinion?
That’s just the tip. Scroll down for the full list, some are flirty, some are philosophical, and some are wildly unexpected.
Whether you’re sipping cocktails, texting at midnight, or lying in bed after a hookup that feels like more… these questions will get you closer, one answer at a time.
The best get to know you questions to ask someone you like
These questions can be a laugh, but they’ll definitely help both of you get to know each other a lot more in no time!
Fun & Flirty Questions to Get To Know Someone
Lighthearted, witty, playful, and first-date-friendly questions. Aim: to break the ice and bring out charm + chemistry.
1. What’s your weirdest “green flag” in someone?
Maybe it’s how they smell after a gym session, or the way they hold a pen. This question brings out delightfully random insights, and reveals what tiny, strange things they secretly find irresistible. [Read: 45 Big Relationship Red Flags Most Couples Completely Ignore Early in Love]
2. If you could relive one day from your life, which one would it be?
The beauty of this question is that it’s personal without being too heavy. Whether it’s a first kiss, a childhood memory, or that insane road trip, they’ll tell you something they cherish deeply. Bonus: it reveals what happiness means to them.
3. What’s something totally mundane that irrationally turns you on?
This is cheeky but fun, and it opens the door to flirtation without getting graphic. Is it the smell of books? Someone folding laundry? Who knows, it’s weirdly hot.
4. What do you think your “villain origin story” would be?
We all have that one petty or hilarious moment that could’ve launched us into chaos. This question makes people laugh and open up about what makes them tick.
5. What’s the most ridiculous thing you believed as a kid?
Did they think the moon followed them? That gum grew trees in your stomach? Childhood delusions are adorable, and often give you a sneak peek into their upbringing. [Read: 50 Questions for a New Relationship to Predict Your Romantic Future]
6. What’s your “I would break up with someone for this” dealbreaker?
Now we’re getting into compatibility territory. Whether it’s loud chewing or being rude to waiters, these little icks say a lot about their values and boundaries.
7. Who would play you in a movie about your love life, and what genre would it be?
Rom-com? Tragedy? Slow-burn indie flick? This question is creative, gives insight into how they see their romantic history, and makes for a fun mental movie.
8. What’s your favorite way to waste time?
Not hobbies, actual time-wasters. Doomscrolling, shower concerts, or reorganizing apps by color. It’s relatable, disarming, and helps them get real without overthinking.
9. What’s your go-to “make someone laugh” story?
Everyone has that one party anecdote or awkward moment they know always lands. This shows how self-aware and confident they are about their past, and how they connect through humor.
This is bold, but framed playfully. The idea that “maybe I’ll share something I’ve never said out loud” can be thrilling. It makes things feel intimate without pressure.
👉 Looking for more fun and interesting questions to ask someone? Try these:
- 80 Dating Questions to Ask Them Before You Get Past the Talking Stage
- 115 Freaky Questions to Ask Friends & Have a Dirty, Naughty Time
- 75 Flirty Questions to Ask Your Crush & Make Them Think of You
- 40 Very Deep Questions To Ask Someone Before You Get Close to Them
- 72 First Date Questions, Conversation Starters & Things You Should Never Ask
Preferences, Passions & Personality
These questions help you explore the real-life flavor of someone, how they live, what they love, and how their quirks show up in everyday choices. From food to fashion, guilty pleasures to favorite habits, this section helps you uncover if you two are lifestyle-compatible or living on different planets.
11. Do you like summer or winter?
It might seem like a surface-level question, but it tells you a lot about their vibe.
Summer lovers tend to be outgoing, adventurous, and thrive in social settings, while winter fans often value intimacy, quiet, and cozy one-on-one time. It’s extrovert vs. introvert in disguise.
12. Would you diet or work out to lose weight?
A surprisingly revealing question, this uncovers their discipline, mindset, and how they approach challenges.
Someone who chooses to work out might enjoy structure and pushing themselves physically, while a diet-only person might prefer quick results or lower effort. It’s not a judgment, just a peek into how they solve problems.
13. What do you wear to bed?
Sexy lingerie, cozy pajamas, or their favorite oversized tee from high school, this tells you more than you’d expect.
What someone wears to bed often reflects how they view comfort, confidence, and their relationship with their own body. [Read: 100 Funny, Naughty & Flirty Questions to Ask a Girl You Like & Leave Her Tingly]
14. What’s your favorite movie, and why?
Movies tap into deep emotional themes, what someone loves watching usually reflects what they value. Are they into underdog stories? Tragic romances? Mind-bending sci-fi? The “why” matters more than the title.
15. What’s your favorite food?
Comfort food isn’t just about taste, it’s about culture, nostalgia, and emotional anchors. If they love sushi, ramen, or a warm plate of cheesy pasta, you’ll get insight into how they self-soothe or celebrate.
16. What’s your favorite alcoholic drink?
Cocktail connoisseur or casual beer drinker? Their go-to drink reveals more than just taste, it often signals their social style, confidence level, and how adventurous (or safe) they like to play things.
17. Who’s your favorite actor or celebrity?
Crushes and celeb obsessions say a lot about what they admire in others, humor, intelligence, intensity, or just sheer hotness. Bonus points if they say Ryan Gosling and give you a reason that’s not “he’s hot.”
18. How much PDA is acceptable?
Are they the hand-holding-in-public type? Or more of a private-affection person? Physical affection boundaries can make or break a long-term match. This helps you both get aligned early, without awkward public moments later.
19. What’s your all-time comfort TV show?
This one taps into their inner child or their grown-up escape. Whether it’s Friends, Stranger Things, or The Office, comfort shows reflect personality and emotional coping styles.
20. Tattoos or no tattoos?
Their opinion (and whether they have any!) gives you a peek into their self-expression, risk-taking, and how much they like leaving visible stories on their skin. Tattoo lovers tend to have bold, introspective sides.
21. What hobby do you wish you were secretly amazing at?
Whether it’s singing in public, skateboarding, or playing guitar, this uncovers what they really want to be known for, but maybe haven’t told anyone yet. Vulnerable, playful, and often unexpectedly deep.
22. What kind of content do you doom-scroll most?
Let’s be honest, our For You Pages and home feeds say everything. True crime, memes, productivity hacks, or skincare routines, what pulls them in when they’re tired and alone tells you what captures their mind. [Read: 84 Intellectual, Deep Conversation Starters & Topics to Bond with Anyone]
23. If your personality had a theme song, what would it be?
Music is mood. This question reveals how they see themselves, funny, cool, chaotic, poetic, maybe even all of the above.
24. What’s your guilty pleasure you’ll never give up?
It could be dipping fries into ice cream or rewatching Twilight every Christmas. Guilty pleasures tell you how seriously someone takes themselves (and whether they know how to enjoy life without shame).
25. If you could live in any fictional universe, which one would you choose?
Do they want to duel with lightsabers, cast spells, or live in an apocalypse with hot vampires? This one opens up imagination and gives you insight into their ideal world. Plus, it makes for a seriously fun back-and-forth.
Emotional Deep Dives & Vulnerability
Some questions open hearts. These ones break down walls. Whether you’re on a second date or texting late into the night, these emotional deep-dive questions create space for trust, honesty, and intimacy, without feeling heavy. Ask them slowly. Watch what happens.
26. When was the last time you cried?
The answer isn’t about tears, it’s about how emotionally available they are. Are they open to being vulnerable, or do they hide their emotions?
Whether it was a sad movie, a breakup, or something random, this question opens up surprisingly real conversations.
27. What’s one failure you’re actually proud of?
Failure gets a bad rap, but the way someone talks about it reveals how they see growth. Do they own it? Joke about it? Hide it? Look for humility, resilience, and what they took away from the experience.
28. What do you wish people understood about you?
This one hits deep, fast. It invites them to voice something they’ve probably thought about often, but rarely say. It reveals how they want to be seen, and what they’re most misunderstood for. [Read: 80 Funny & Serious What If Questions That Will Make You the Life of the Party]
29. What was the worst phase in your life?
From teen angst to adult burnout, we all go through rough patches. This question helps you see how self-aware they are and how they process pain. Look for how they talk about healing, not just hardship.
30. What’s the happiest memory you’ve ever had?
This one gives you a beautiful glimpse into their version of joy. Is it a moment with family? Travel? Falling in love? The story behind their answer tells you what they value most.
31. Do you forgive easily, or hold grudges?
This tells you everything about how they fight, make up, and love. Someone who holds grudges might struggle with resentment, while someone who forgives quickly might value peace over pride. It’s not about judgment, it’s about knowing how they work emotionally.
32. What scares you the most about love?
The best kind of scary question. It brings up fears of vulnerability, rejection, losing yourself, or maybe being too intense. How someone answers shows how ready they are for emotional intimacy.
33. How do you act when you’re heartbroken?
Some people cry. Some ghost the world. Some pretend nothing happened. This question reveals how they process emotional pain, and what kind of support they might need when they’re hurting.
34. What’s something you’ve never told anyone but kind of want to?
It’s like giving them a little emotional dare. If they answer, you’re in. This kind of trust is powerful, just make sure you treat their answer with care.
35. What would your younger self be most proud of you for?
This is one of those warm-fuzzy questions that instantly melts hearts. It reveals self-worth, growth, and how far they feel they’ve come.
36. What do you think is your biggest emotional blind spot?
A little self-awareness test. If they say they don’t have one, there’s your answer. Someone who can admit their patterns (shutting down, overthinking, avoiding conflict) is probably doing the inner work.
37. When do you feel most like yourself?
It might be dancing alone in their room, walking through nature, or cooking for someone they love. This question tells you where they feel safest, and who they are when no one’s watching.
38. Do you believe people can really change?
This isn’t just philosophical, it tells you how they see growth, second chances, and whether they’re open to evolving. Their answer might also reveal how flexible or fixed they are when it comes to relationships.
39. If you had to describe yourself in one sentence, what would you say?
Some people will freeze, others will drop the most poetic, raw, or hilarious line you’ve ever heard. Either way, you’re learning how they see their core identity.
40. What do you want people to feel when they’re around you?
This is the emotional vibe check. Do they want to be seen as funny, safe, exciting, calm, sexy? It tells you how they want to show up in others’ lives, and in yours.
👉 Looking for more interesting questions? Try these!
- 85 Fun Questions to Ask a New Friend & Get To Know Them Like a BFF ASAP
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- 71 Friendly, Funny Questions to Get to Know Someone in a Happy Way
Romance, Sex & Compatibility
These questions take things to the next level, flirty, bold, and a little spicy. But they’re not just about attraction or sex; they’re about uncovering how someone loves, what intimacy looks like to them, and whether your emotional and physical vibes align. Proceed with charm… and a little curiosity.
41. What’s your idea of a perfect romantic date?
Is it a beach picnic at sunset? A candlelit dinner with deep conversation? A late-night food truck run? This answer shows what kind of romance they lean into, grand gestures, quiet intimacy, or spontaneous fun.
42. What’s your love language, and your “don’t you dare” language?
Everyone knows about the five love languages, but people rarely talk about the opposite, what makes them feel unloved. This question reveals both their needs and their boundaries in love.
43. When did you have your first real crush?
First crushes are funny, nostalgic, and often surprisingly intense. The way someone talks about their early romantic feelings gives you a glimpse into their emotional blueprint.
44. How do you flirt when you really like someone?
Some people get bolder. Some go quiet. Some roast you playfully. Their answer reveals how they behave when their heart’s on the line. [Read: 29 Secret Ways to Subtly Flirt & Make Them Desire You Subconsciously]
45. When did you lose your virginity, and what was it like?
This one can go light or deep, depending on how you both vibe. It’s not just about the act, it’s a time capsule into their past, confidence, and the emotional tone of their early experiences.
46. What’s your biggest turn-on that has nothing to do with looks?
Is it a confident walk? How someone orders at a restaurant? Intellectual curiosity? This question shows what they really find magnetic in a person. [Read: 22 Ways to Turn Someone On While Talking to Them & Make Sparks Fly]
47. Have you ever had a friends-with-benefits situation? How did it go?
This question reveals boundaries, emotional maturity, and how well they handle blurred lines between sex and feelings. Bonus: You’ll find out if they’re the type to catch feelings, or avoid them at all costs.
48. What’s your biggest green flag in a romantic partner?
Everyone talks about red flags, but green flags are the real gems. What they look for in others says a lot about what they’re ready to give in return.
49. What’s your ultimate relationship dealbreaker?
Knowing what someone can’t tolerate is just as important as knowing what they love. It reveals their values, priorities, and emotional safety rules.
50. What’s your idea of foreplay that doesn’t involve touching?
This one will tell you a lot about their imagination, emotional depth, and how much they value anticipation. Is it eye contact? Teasing conversation? Doing the dishes without being asked?
51. What’s the most romantic thing someone’s ever done for you?
It could be a grand gesture, or something deeply personal and simple. Either way, this question helps you learn what makes them feel truly loved, and how high the bar is.
52. What’s the wildest sex idea you’ve ever had (but haven’t tried yet)?
This one keeps it fun, flirty, and vulnerable. You’ll learn about their fantasies, creativity, and how open they are to exploring new things in a relationship. [Read: 87 Best Dirty Truth or Dare Questions for a Wild & Sexy Night]
53. How do you want to feel after sex?
Safe? Loved? Powerful? Sleepy? This question cuts through performance and focuses on connection, and what they really want from physical intimacy.
54. Would you ever get back with an ex?
Simple, but telling. It reveals whether they believe people change, whether they romanticize the past, or whether they never look back.
55. What’s your favorite way to show someone you love them?
Do they write notes, cook breakfast, plan dates, or just sit silently and listen? This reveals their style of loving, and helps you figure out if it matches yours.
Beliefs, Boundaries & Big Picture Stuff
These questions go deeper into how someone thinks, what they stand for, and the boundaries that define how they move through the world. They’re not always sexy, but they matter when it comes to long-term compatibility, core values, and whether you’re aligned when it counts.
56. What’s a belief you hold that people often challenge?
Are they stubborn about it, or do they love debating? This question helps you figure out if they’re open-minded or defensive, and what hills they’re willing to die on.
57. Do you believe in karma or something else entirely?
Whether it’s cosmic justice, faith, or logic, the answer gives you a glimpse into how they process cause and effect in life, and how they justify the things that happen around them.
58. Do you plan your life or live in the moment?
This one reveals if they’re a long-term thinker or a spontaneous soul. Some people map out their 10-year plan, others wake up and see where the day takes them. Either way, this answer can show how well your life rhythms align.
59. What’s your biggest dealbreaker in a friendship?
Friendship values often mirror relationship values. Whether it’s dishonesty, unreliability, or poor communication, their answer will show you what kind of people they choose to keep close. [Read: 27 Most Common Relationship Deal Breakers that Push Many Couples Apart]
60. Is there a cause or issue that you feel deeply passionate about?
This gets to the heart of their values. It could be animal rights, mental health, climate change, or equality. What lights a fire in them shows what they’d fight for, and what might one day affect your life together.
61. How do you handle conflict when you care about someone?
Conflict resolution styles are crucial in relationships. Do they shut down? Lash out? Try to fix it immediately? Their answer helps you know whether they can handle emotional tension like an adult, or avoid it altogether.
62. What does success look like to you?
Success means different things to different people, money, freedom, family, or purpose. This helps you understand their life goals and whether you can dream in the same direction.
63. What makes you feel respected in a relationship?
Respect is often more important than love. Their answer might include honesty, being heard, independence, or feeling prioritized. And knowing this early on can help you avoid future misunderstandings.
64. What’s a boundary you’ve had to create recently?
This is about self-awareness, growth, and how seriously they take protecting their peace. If someone can’t talk about their boundaries, that’s a red flag for any kind of connection. [Read: 25 Types, Ways & Tips to Set Boundaries with Friends Without Insulting Them]
65. Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
A classic big-picture question. Whether they lean into fate, randomness, or spirituality, their answer reveals how they frame both the highs and lows of life.
66. What’s something you’re still unlearning?
This one’s beautifully vulnerable. It could be people-pleasing, toxic masculinity, perfectionism, or avoidance. You’ll learn about their inner work and whether they’re emotionally evolving, or emotionally asleep.
67. Would you rather be feared, admired, or loved?
A character test disguised as a fun one. Each option says something different about what they value, power, validation, or intimacy.
68. What kind of legacy do you want to leave?
This is about purpose, long-term thinking, and emotional depth. Their answer will tell you whether they think about their impact, or just the next paycheck.
69. How do you define emotional maturity?
This is low-key genius because their answer tells you whether they are emotionally mature, without having to say it directly. You’ll also learn what traits they value in a partner and in themselves.
70. When do you feel most grounded?
Is it when they’re in nature? With their family? Creating something? This question peeks into what brings them peace, clarity, and a sense of purpose when life feels chaotic.
Bonus Questions to Spark Something Real
These last ones are a little offbeat, unexpected, and designed to break out of surface-level chats. They’re the perfect way to end the conversation with a laugh, a pause, or a moment of real connection you didn’t see coming.
71. Are you a morning person or a night owl?
This isn’t just about sleep cycles, it’s about how they function. Morning people tend to be structured, goal-oriented, and schedule-driven. Night owls, on the other hand, are often introspective, creative, and more go-with-the-flow. Can your lifestyles sync, or will someone always be asleep during the other’s best moments?
72. What’s your philosophy or purpose in life?
Big question, yes. But it’s one that reveals what drives them when no one’s watching. Are they here to live big, love fully, chase impact, or simply feel peace? Their answer shows what they’re chasing, and whether they’re still figuring it out. [Read: 84 Intellectual, Deep Conversation Starters & Topics to Bond with Anyone]
73. What’s your favorite book and why?
Books are mirrors. Whether it’s a heartbreaking novel, a gritty biography, or a totally trashy guilty pleasure, their answer reveals their worldview, emotional tone, and what they return to for inspiration, or escape.
74. If you found a briefcase of money with the owner’s address in it, would you return it?
Would they walk away with it or walk up to the door? This one is a moral compass test, and there’s no wrong answer, just a revealing one.
75. Would you rather live in a big city or the countryside?
This question isn’t about geography, it’s about lifestyle and pace. Do they dream of Friday night ramen and rooftop bars or quiet mornings and nature trails? It tells you how they recharge and what kind of environment helps them thrive.
76. Do you follow the news? Where do you get your information?
Whether they’re a podcast person, news app loyalist, or just pick up bits through memes and TikToks, their media diet reveals a lot about their values, interests, and mental habits.
77. Would you confront someone in public or let it go?
This is basically asking: “Are you a peacekeeper or a truth-bomber?” Their answer will show you how they handle injustice, awkward moments, and public tension. [Read: 80 Funny & Serious What If Questions That Will Make You the Life of the Party]
78. What’s one absolute no-no in a relationship?
Every emotionally healthy person has a dealbreaker. Whether it’s dishonesty, manipulation, emotional neglect, or clinginess, their answer tells you how they protect their heart, and what you’ll need to avoid.
79. Do you think life is fair?
This one reveals how they interpret the world and handle setbacks. Are they a realist, optimist, cynic, or idealist? Their view might influence how they approach love, failure, and forgiveness too.
80. What’s something you’ve said or done that still haunts you?
Everyone has a regret that echoes now and then. The way they talk about it shows vulnerability, growth, and whether they’ve forgiven themselves, or not.
81. What’s a lie you’ve told that you still feel kind of justified about?
Sometimes, the white lies are the juiciest ones. This question walks the line between confession and comedy, and shows how their conscience operates.
82. If you could be famous for one completely useless talent, what would it be?
This is a creativity bomb. Can they balance a spoon on their nose? Sing in Muppet voices? Their answer will almost always make you laugh, and lowkey show off their quirks. [Read: 35 Best Text Conversation Starters For The Shy & Socially Awkward]
83. What’s your most irrational fear?
Elevators? Velcro? Clowns? Everyone has one. It’s a harmless way to get weird, and get closer.
84. What compliment do you still remember years later?
This one tells you what really lands with them emotionally. It’s a tiny insight into how they want to be seen, and what kind of attention actually matters.
85. What emoji best describes your current love life?
Cute, cheeky, or dark humor, this one gets a fun answer and insight into where they are emotionally. Bonus points if they explain the backstory behind the emoji.
86. What would your dating app profile say if it was 100% honest?
No filters, no curated lines, just full-on realness. This one will either get laughs or goosebumps, depending on how self-aware and vulnerable they’re willing to go. [Read: 30 Deep, Thought-Provoking Questions that’ll Leave You Curious & Wondering]
87. What conspiracy theory do you secretly kind of believe?
Aliens? Mandela effect? The moon is hollow? This one brings out their playful side, or their suspicious one. Either way, it’s fun, and totally safe to laugh through.
88. If you could delete one memory forever, would you?
Philosophical, yes, but also psychological. You’ll learn what memory they still wrestle with, and whether they’d choose healing over experience.
89. What’s something you’re grateful for but rarely talk about?
Gratitude builds connection, and this question gently brings up hidden joys or often-overlooked blessings. It’s a sweet, grounding moment in any deep conversation.
90. If someone had to describe you anonymously, what would they say?
What they think others see in them reveals confidence, insecurities, and perception. And it often surprises even them when they say it out loud.
👉 Ready for more interesting questions? Start here:
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What makes these get to know you questions so powerful?
Sure, they’re fun, flirty, and sometimes a little wild, but underneath each of these get to know you questions is something much deeper. They reveal values, habits, fears, priorities, humor, love languages, emotional blind spots, and the little quirks that make someone them.
You don’t need to ask them all in one night (unless you’re stuck on a road trip or a 4-hour FaceTime). Just sprinkle them into your conversations when the moment feels right. And when someone answers truthfully? Really listen.
The best part? You’ll learn how to see someone, not just how they present themselves, but who they are when they’re comfortable, open, and unfiltered.
So whether you’re dating, flirting, or just trying to connect with someone new, use these get to know you questions to spark something real. You never know where one good answer might lead.
Just ask your new friend or lover these get to know you questions, and by the time you’re down to the sixtieth question, you’d definitely see a lot more about each other and your compatibility!
