Whether you’re a guy or a girl, you may want to know the signs of a feminine guy. If you want to avoid being one or dating a feminine man, read this!
A man who shows his sensitive side is great. Some girls love the feminine guy, because he’s so in touch with his sensitive side. And then, there are other girls who just can’t stand the signs of feminine man who displays even a hint of “womanliness” in his behavior.
You may be a guy who wants to know the traits of a feminine man, or girl who wants to avoid dating one. It doesn’t matter what your reasons are, but we’ll help you recognize a feminine man instantly, so you can decide what you’re going to do next.
What makes a feminine man who he is?
A feminine man display characters that are traditionally considered to be more “womanly” *sounds sexist, I know, but there’s science to prove that men and women don’t think and behave the same way*. It could be his upbringing, his softer nature, or just his interest in selfcare and grooming, there are some traits that make a man more masculine or more feminine.
If you want to know more about the specific traits of masculinity or femininity, check out this feature on masculinity vs femininity and which is the stronger side to know all about it!
Are feminine guys bad?
Of course not! In fact, most women are comfortable with, and even desirous of, dating a man who has feminine traits and is proud if it, especially traits like empathy and sensitivity.
A man can be anything he wants to be and still be attractive to other people. The beauty is certainly in the eye of the beholder. For some, a particularly feminine man is found extremely alluring. Of course, a feminine man isn’t attractive to another group of people, perhaps those who prefer the typical traits of a masculine male.
We all find different things attractive, and that’s a good thing. Otherwise, we’d all fancy the same people and the world would be an even bigger war zone than it is now!
[Read: How to be more masculine by listening to your inner voice]
Why do feminine women dislike dating feminine men?
Perhaps, because opposites attract? Maybe evolution or our formative years have triggered our brain to prefer certain traits over others, especially keeping procreation in mind?
I am totally okay with guys who are sensitive and understanding. We all want them to listen and to care when we are sick, or upset, or really just want to vent. But, come in a little closer here, if we want to be honest, there comes the point where a guy goes way over the gender line, and it makes you want to go, ewwww! Because of that, feminine guys are just a huge turn off to many women.
It isn’t that having some feminine qualities aren’t totally attractive to women. It definitely is! Many women want an empathetic and understanding boyfriend or partner in their life. But it’s just that when these feminine traits are combined with many, many more, that’s when a man crosses deep into feminine territory, which can be a total turn off to women. [Read: How to be a good boyfriend – 33 traits that make you the best ever]
The biggest signs that scream you’re one of the feminine guys
If you are wondering if people see you as one of the feminine guys, these are signs that might not always scream it, but subtly whisper to those around you that you aren’t just okay with your feminine side, but instead you are trying to steal a woman’s thunder. Being sensitive is way okay, being too feminine is definitely not.
[Read: Dating feminine men – Is it a boom or a bust?]
1. You use a lot of skincare products and possibly cosmetics
While there’s no problem in looking after yourself, if a man uses a lot of skin and hair care products, and even dabbles in a little makeup now and again, it’s likely that he’s quite feminine on the inside. That’s no problem for a lot of people, apart from the fact he might use his girlfriend’s makeup!
2. You like to sit back and allow the other person to take control
If you’re a woman who likes a masculine man, i.e. someone who takes control and leads the way, you may find this sign a little off putting. A traditionally feminine man has no issue with someone else taking control and steering direction. It’s not that he’s particularly submissive, he simply doesn’t feel the need to dominate either. [Read: How to awaken the divine masculine within yourself]
3. You have no problem showing your emotions outwardly
Most men have a problem with crying in front of people they don’t know well. If a man has no issue with showing his feelings via tears, that’s one of the signs of a feminine man. Again, it’s a good thing to let everything out from time to time, so maybe women will find this attractive?
Of course, when something tragic happens in your life, or if you lose someone, we are okay with seeing you cry. But, if you cry because someone flaked on you, or just really at will, that signals that you’re one of the feminine guys all the way.
4. You can easily talk about your emotions
Traditionally, a man doesn’t like to open up and talk about his emotions. He will instead deflect the conversation somewhere else, usually with humor as a shield. A man who has no problems talking about his feelings is likely to be quite feminine in his character. [Read: How to be a man the way he really should be]
5. You’re a fan of social media and love to get online attention
While not a particular deal breaker, if you’re posting selfies and quotes, it’s likely that you’re showing your feminine side to your followers! Most men don’t really care about likes and shares. A feminine guy is likely to do so.
6. Your style is flamboyant or out there
A traditional female trait is the ability and desire to explore fashion and show off their personality via clothing and accessories. If a man does this, it’s quite likely that he’s feminine. If you want to show off your personality via colorful clothing, different designs, and pieces which are far less traditionally masculine, chances are, you’re a feminine guy.
7. You have far more female friends than male friends
One of the biggest signs of a feminine man is that he has a lot more female friends than male friends. If you’re feminine, chances are, that’s because you connect better with females and bonds more easily. [Read: What do guys think of their female friends? 15 very real secrets revealed]
8. You take a while to get ready when going out
You can easily find a masculine man who takes a while to get ready. This is far more likely to be the case if a man is more feminine. If you take longer to get ready than your girlfriend, that’s something to look out for.
9. You don’t connect with anything considered masculine
If a guy is feminine, he’s likely to find things traditionally masculine either a waste of time or possibly even offensive. Football, contact sports, video games, no? Fair enough.
10. You’re very coordinated in terms of clothing and accessories
Most masculine men won’t really care if their shoes match their shirt. However, a feminine man will show far more concern in their outfits.
If your shoes match your shirt, belt, watch, ascot, and you even know what an ascot is, then it is time to examine your feminine side.
[Read: 10 things to know about living with a metrosexual man]
11. You take things personally
If you are easy to offend, take things personally, or sensitive in general, these are all clear signs of a feminine man. Toughen up and take it like a man or you will just come across as a sissy.
12. You’re far more likely to be a cocktail drinker than a beer guzzler
When you’re out on the town, if you prefer the typically feminine drinks, take notice of that sign! Of course, one cocktail doesn’t make a guy feminine. But if this is your go-to drink of choice, that’s a clear sign.
Fru-fru drinks have feminine written all over it. If you want a fancy cocktail, have the bartender put it in a whiskey glass. It will taste the same, and no one needs to know. [Read: Girly drinks galore – 24 drinks only girls must order]
13. You love your man bag
Do you carry a bag around everywhere you go? I’m not talking about a backpack full of sports clothes. If you’re a fan of regularly carrying a satchel-style bag, usually containing, wallet, beauty items, etc, then that’s a pointer towards femininity. And no, it isn’t a fanny pack, or a satchel or a man bag, it is a purse. Period. [Read: How to be chivalrous – the code of modern chivalry]
14. You cry at chick flicks
While normal to sniffle a little when a film is sad or harrowing, if you can’t help but sob at rom-coms and other emotionally-charged films, it’s likely that you’re particularly feminine.
15. You always want the relationship talk
A masculine man is far more likely to go with the flow and see where things end up. However, one of the signs of a feminine man is a willingness and eagerness to have a chat about where a relationship is going and where he stands.
Girls want you to be sensitive, but not clingy. Don’t jump the gun, it isn’t masculine and again, makes you one of the feminine guys. [Read: The unexpected benefits of dating sensitive men versus a masculine man]
16. You love shopping
Everyone needs to go shopping from time to time. But if a guy finds an afternoon out at the local mall to be a great use of his time, and a stress-buster, that’s a sign he’s in touch with his feminine side. Bad news for your masculine side.
17. You decorate
The home of a feminine guy is likely to be tidy, clean, and extremely attractive. This guy isn’t someone who can live with dirty clothes on the floor or dishes in the sink!
And when it comes to arranging your place, a few essentials neatly arranged is okay. If you are feng shui-ing, then you might want to take a good look around, it screams feminine guy. [Read: 15 reasons why nice guys finish last all the time]
18. You hold petty grudges
Okay, it’s one thing to hold a vendetta or a long term grudge against someone and work your way to the top to be the alpha dog. But if it’s something small like your friend eating all your fries when you take a trip to the restroom, punch it out and get over it. If you are someone who is holding grudges over the smallest of things, that is definitely not masculine. [Read: 15 reasons you should avoid immature men]
19. You sit in the passenger seat all the time
Girls like a guy who likes to take control! Obviously, if you have been drinking and she is the designated driver, it makes sense *although she probably doesn’t appreciate that unless decided upon up front*. But if you hop in the passenger’s seat and let her take the reins ALL the time… not masculine, dude. [Read: Here’s how you can be masculine without being a jerk]
20. You care about your hair more than girls do
If a guy cares more about his hair than girls do, and it prevents him from being adventurous or outdoorsy, that is way too feminine for most women’s taste. Forget your fade and just let it go!
21. You use kissy emojis all the time
Unless you’re texting your loved ones, you shouldn’t be using emojis to blow kisses, make sad faces or wave your hands. [Read: Defining true masculinity – What does it mean to be a man?]
22. You wear pink and aren’t tough
As sexist as this sounds, pink is for girls. And unless you literally leak masculinity from your pores, you can’t pull it off.
Only tough guys can wear pink. If you don’t have the rugged appearance of a man who looks like he can axe a wood stump in half with one blow, leave the pink shirts for the muscle heads.
23. You eat neatly
Guys should eat like a hunter and gatherer, not like they are having tea with the queen. If your plate is neater than anyone else, you wipe your mouth a million times with the corner of your serviette, and you put way too much emphasis on how to roll your spaghetti, you need to learn to roll with it.
24. You get your butt hurt when someone teases you
Guys are not supposed to take things personally. If you call him a name, he is supposed to shoot right back. If you get your feelings bruised at everything that is said, that is more girl than guy behavior.
25. You are too affectionate with your mother
While there’s nothing wrong with this, it still makes you a feminine guy and a momma’s boy. If you cling to your mother, hold her hand tenderly, or even refer to her as “mother” as if she is the mother of all mothers, that isn’t very manly. [Read: Mommy issues in men – What it is and what to look for in a man]
26. You gossip more than girls
Sure, all guys like locker room talk. But if you are gossiping about who is sleeping with whom at work or about what someone said to someone else, then you need to stop. If not, you’re definitely one of the feminine guys.
27. You wax your eyebrows
Ummm, really? Do I even need to explain this one?
28. You notice when someone has an awesome purse
If you notice that a girl has a really cool purse and admire it silently, then you are probably one of the feminine guys.
29. You will only buy name brands
It doesn’t show everyone that you have money. It says that you’re a regular follower of fashion trends and fashionable social media accounts, which is so not masculine. [Read: Manscaping and what girls want to see on their guy’s body]
30. You are a wine “connoisseur”
It is okay if you are really serious about wine and over 50, but if you are a “winer” then it isn’t very manly, just pretentious and makes you one of the feminine guys.
31. You have a man bun
Don’t care if your favorite celebrity does it, buns are for women only. And of course, feminine men.
32. You love romance novels
Can’t keep up with the latest Danielle Steel book? Think about it. [Read: Effeminate men and 50 things thy do because they don’t give a shit]
33. You have a subscription to a magazine, and it’s not a man’s mag
If you read People, Us, or anything in between, then you are way too worried about the all the “interesting” things going on in the world of gossip. And if you’re talking to guys about the things you read, are they even listening to you?
34. You have a toy dog
At home? Why a toy dog? And do you carry it around in your “purse”?
35. You own hand creams, and not to jack off
If your fingers are softer than a baby’s bum, then you should really think about the signals you are sending, because you are one of the feminine guys. [Read: Where are the studs – Is feminizing men killing out society?]
36. Your workout outfit is prettier than your girlfriend’s
When a guy “works out” he is supposed to wear his ripped Led Zeppelin t-shirt, not his fancy performance wear. Look like a guy when you are working on those biceps, please.
37. You have super neat cursive writing
And you use it frequently on thank you cards and “just to check in” cards! Very interesting, and definitely a feminine guy trait.
38. You plant flowers to add a pop of color
If you are all about making your home curbside appeal awesome, that may be too much for coolness. And to top that, do you wear gardening gloves to plant flowers? Men are supposed to get their hands dirty… what are you thinking? [Read: What is masculinity? The behind what women want in a man]
39. You’ve never owned an action figure or a plastic gun in your life
Two things that are essential for guys growing up. Even if it was your parent’s fault, don’t let anyone know.
40. You fold your laundry with corners and edges
It isn’t that we don’t want our guys to be neat, or to do their own laundry, it is just that you end up putting the women in your life to shame with your organizing skills!
[Read: Do you have a mangina, pussy? These 30 signs scream YES!]
Yes, this is sexism!
Sexism sucks, doesn’t it? I get it, both genders do things that are more like the opposite gender than their own. But, if you do more feminine things than masculine, you run the risk of turning women off because you are one of the feminine guys.
If you are okay with being a feminine guy, then don’t worry about it. I think, if you were, however, you wouldn’t be reading this feature.
It is always important to be yourself, but sometimes we just have to hide a little of the crazy from the outside world to get along in it. So if you think you’re one of the feminine guys, then think about changing some of the things we talked about here.
[Read: What makes a man a man? 13 traditional defying manly characteristics]
Should you be bothered by the signs of a feminine man?
The signs of a feminine guy are clear. Now, if you notice one or even ten, that doesn’t mean you’re particularly feminine! We all do certain things from time to time. Perhaps even go through phases of liking a particular fashion. But if you notice several of the signs of a feminine guy over a prolonged period of time, it points to a guy in touch with his feminine side.
The good part about being feminine is that you will be able to communicate far easier, open up about your feelings, and won’t be afraid to show your vulnerable side. [Read: Toxic masculinity – 20 toxic traits that are actually healthy]
Is this toxic masculinity?
There’s a notion and concept that this idea of what “being a masculine man” means, can cause more harm than good to society at large. There’s a constant pressure on men to not behave weak, to never show their sensitive side, and to behave more like a “man” and to stop “being a girl” if they display hurt behavior or cry.
While on one side, it’s the truth and we shouldn’t judge men for merging boundaries between the masculine and the feminine, we can’t help but face the truth that most of us are drawn towards our opposite gender. And while the boundaries between men and women are merging, there are still some masculine traits that draw women. [Read: Here’s how you can be masculine without being a jerk]
As a hot blooded man, you want to date a young, perky, happy thing who clings to you like you’re her protector and savior. And you want to spend the rest of your life procreating with different gorgeous nymphs and breeding offsprings like Genghis Khan did. You may not do it, but you can’t help thinking it.
So if that’s okay with you, isn’t it fair for women to be drawn to the masculine energy of a strong, manly man too?
[Read: Ubersexual man – What it is, the traits and the rise of the new kind of man]
If you’re a feminine guy, remember that it’s not bad, it’s just what you prefer, and that’s okay. If you notice a few of these signs of a feminine man in yourself, that’s completely fine too. You’re simply in touch with your feelings better than most men. But if you’d rather bask in masculine energy, it doesn’t hurt to keep track of the feminine energy inside you.