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Love or Career? – How to Make the Right Choice

love or career?

Ever had to ask yourself this question, is it love or career? While it’s never really easy to choose, here are a few things you need to keep in mind.

When it comes to choosing between the two, it’s never an easy answer.

You have the diehard romantics who’d tell you to choose love.

And on the other hand, you’d have the ladder climbers looking down and yelling to give up your personal life and reach out to your ambition.

But seriously, if it ever comes down to choosing between love and career, there’s never an easy way out.

Unless one side wins by a mile or you have no regrets, whatever the decision, you’ll always be bitter, unless you’re whole heartedly convinced with your decision.

Love or career – What you should know

If you ever do find yourself having to make the big love or career decision, here are a few things you really need to understand.

True love is hard to find

Love is special, and that’s what makes it so rare.

While falling in love may be easy, staying in love needs two soul mates that understand each other and are selfless in love.

Do you have that relationship that makes you feel lucky at the end of the day?

A better career can give you a better life

There’s no beating around the bush here, a good career can make for a better life. You can have your perfect partner but if you’re suffering in a bad career, will you ever be happy in your “miserable” life? [Read: What does your office table tell about you?]

True love can withstand all odds

Now this is true. If both of you truly love each other, you don’t have to worry about separating for a few years or having to spend less time with each other. Instead of worrying about love or career, think of ways to make it work better.

You’ll always be ambitious

Will one promotion in your career satiate your ambitious heart? Will you ever settle down and be happy with what you have? All of us want more. And sometimes, we decide to give up on a perfectly good relationship and pursue something that will never really satisfy us.

When it comes to deciding between love and career, we’ll help you understand what really matters to you and how you should deal with it. After all, every relationship is unique and all of us have our own requirements and paths to achieve happiness.

When you choose love

If you decide to stick with love and give up on getting a better career prospect, here are a few things you always need to ask yourself.

# Would you ever forgive yourself for letting go of a career opportunity? Most lovers who choose love over career end up remorseful and regret their decision the very next time they have a fight or argument with their lover.

# Would you feel bitter? Bitterness is a slow killer of relationships. If you ever do regret giving up on your career, your bitterness would turn to hatred towards your partner. And over time, you’d end up feeling grumpy or annoyed all the time, especially when you can’t afford what you want to splurge on. And at times, the bitterness could also take a toll on your happiness and you may end up blaming your lover for your shortcomings. [Read: Money can buy happiness in love]

If you choose work

# Can you find a partner as loving as caring? Is your career move a once in a lifetime opportunity? You may end your relationship and move on, but you have to remember this, finding the love of your life is a miracle that few people ever experience. Have you found the one? [Read: Is he the one for you?]

And is this promotion or career move a once in a lifetime opportunity? If you’ve decided to focus on your career, then don’t look back and ponder over your lost love. It’s a decision you’ve taken, and you have learn to give up on love and move on.

# Can you move on and forget all about it? Sometimes, you may have second thoughts about moving away from your lover or having to end the relationship even if it’s a perfect one. Can you really put it all behind and avoid regretting it? There’s really no point in ending a relationship for a career and then spending several months regretting your decision and ruining your career at the same time. [Read: How to end a relationship]

Choosing love and work

You don’t always have to pick one and stick with it when it comes to making a decision between love and career. If both of you do love each other, you can always figure something out that can keep the relationship strong and yet, help both of you progress in your careers. [Read: How to be successful in your career]

Perhaps, the only hard part comes in when both of you have recently started dating each other. The relationship would be new and too fragile to face a relationship test. And that’s the only time when you really need to ask yourself if your new love has the potential to blossom into true love. And on the other hand, you have to make up your mind on how badly you need your promotion or a new job that may require more of your time or you having to move to another state.

Making the right choice

It isn’t easy to meet the right partner and find your soul mate, so if you genuinely think you’ve met the one who can warm the cockles of your heart for the rest of your life, then decline the career opportunity.

But if you’re not very happy in your relationship and think you deserve something better, go full speed ahead and choose your career. If you’re not happy with your relationship today, what are the odds that you’ll feel better after giving up on your career? And you’d definitely feel worse about giving up on your career on those tough relationship days. [Read: Is your partner serious about you?]

But whatever you decision may be, stick with it and never look back. Life is a box of mysteries and no matter what you decide to stick with, love or career, coincidences and circumstances have its own way of playing your life out.

Why we think love wins over career

Weighing the pros and cons could help you decide between love and career, but if they’re both even or if you’re confused, we’d still suggest you stick with love. It’s a gamble, yes, but one that can have a huge payoff for the rest of your life.

True love can give you more happiness than money ever can.

And at the end of the day, you want to earn more money to create happy memories and spend more time with the one you love. But if making money means having to give up on love, what are you fighting for anyways?

All of us need someone in our lives to share the happy moments and those sad times when we need a hand and a hug. Love can make your life so much more fulfilling and worthwhile. [Read: How to find true love]

Today, you may assume you don’t need anyone to share your life with. You may love yourself too much to care about anyone else. But as the years pass by, you’ll soon see that self-love, career promotions and money will have no value, when you have no one to share it with. Love completes you when you share it with someone selflessly, and gives more meaning to your life.

You can earn all the money in the world, but it’ll never really give you the happiness that a happy smile or a warm hug from your lover can give you.

If you have a tough choice to make, always close love when it comes to choosing between love or career. Better a romantic with lasting memories and happy times than a workaholic with no life and all money.

[Read: Are women fickle in love?]

But then again, when you have to make a choice between love and career, are you really happy in love or do you think you deserve better? That would make all the difference to your answer.

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21 thoughts on “Love or Career? – How to Make the Right Choice”

  1. swwezd says:

    Imho, career always wins here. And I disagree with your last part. Why?

    1. I agree that we need people to give give us some *emotional support*. But I think that friends are more than enough to give us said *emotional support* (either going out for a few drinks together, or partying, or playing pc games or whatever). I don

  2. Tara says:

    My boyfriend and I broke up tonight and we both don’t want it to happen. Together over 4 years, he moved away to school, I’m in my hometown which he moved to for me, but wants to stay where he is to have better iopportunities for career and friends..I want to stay home with my family but he doesn’t like my small town. I’m so confused and in love but can’t seem to move 5 hours away. Advise please

  3. Megan says:

    Tara, girl. If you love him, move with him, especially if you don’t have an awesome job that brings in the $$. Life was not made to be lived in one spot. I too lived in a small town and when I was able to get away from my family I was able to grow in so many ways I never thought possible. You will make amazing new friends, and he is right to stay to an area where he has a community, especially if he is seeking to capitalize on connections there to get him a decent job. What are you afraid of? I am sure there is more to the story, but to me it looks like you are scared of something new. If you really love him, and want a life with him and kids and all that stuff, go be with him. Because your family isn’t going to give that to you. Go create your own family with him. Now if you are a career woman, you need to also do whats right for you, so I agree with swwezd. But from the sound of it you sound like a “family girl” who wants to someday have one of her own.

  4. reena says:

    I have to choose between my study and my love my love, loves me so much and its true love i dont want 2 lose him so what should i do.im confused plzzzz sugest

  5. Doris says:

    I broke up with my bf of three years a few weeks ago. The trigger was his schizophrenia attack. He actually left me accusing me I didn’t take good care of him while he was ill, that I wasn’t kind enough. First I thought he was wrong because of his illness, now I begin to wonder… Anyway, we live in different countries, see each other regularly, travel, spend our holidays together. I am supposed to be back to my country at the end of this year, when my contract ends, and stay with him permanently. However, I would like to stay here, not return to my country. He is wonderful, a true love, but he is tired of waiting for me. I wonder what I should do: quit the job I like in a country I adore and go back to him, or break up definitely with him and try to stay in this other country, hoping to manage to survive and find another person. Sometimes I think I can get an equally good person as him, maybe even better. Then I wake up and I remember how wonderful he is. I know he loves me and I love him. And he is so fragile now, with this illness that is haunting him. It’s just that after three years, being separated, I am used to living alone, and I think I could continue like this a bit longer until I find another person. But what if I am wrong? What if I stay here and realize after a year that I made a mistake? I am 37 and not getting any younger. He is younger then me. He will surely not have me back if after a year or so I realize I made a mistake. We now decided to take a month off, not communicate in order to think… I am being tortured by my own indecisiveness. Let’s not forget he has been diagnosed schizophrenia, last year it happened for the first time, and somehow I blame myself for triggering this in him by being away, building my career and enjoying this wonderful country… while he waits for me patiently. I know it is my turn now to return the favour to him and go back, but this job I have here and the city itself ah… what shall I do??

  6. George says:

    Hey everyone! I’m a filmmaker and I’ve been with my girlfriend for 2 and a half years. I recently graduated college and am beginning to find my footing in the freelance world. I’m not makinguch money right now but I work with an awesome group of people and we keep getting increasingly large opportunities and I feel I am on the right track to finding success. This lifestyle is very demanding, especially when I’m saying yes to any jobs that come my way to build relationships with clients, and it’s eating in on the time I normally spend withy girlfriend, who I can tell is getting frustrated. I always feel guilty about choosing an editing session or a job over spending time with her, and we both have busy schedules and little time for actual dating. (we also don’t live together and are not in financial sutuations that can rectify that currently) looking into the future I can see my career choice causing issues. I love her and I’m happy with her, but I know I would never be able to give up on filmmaking and will regret not following my passion until I feel I’ve taken it as far as I can get it. She used to also enjoy filmmaking but now has decided to move away from it — she wants a steady job and does not like freelance work or the 12 hour+ days. We used to spend plenty of time together on jobs, but now she’s going in a new direction and I feel her desire for me to make up for that now lost time together. As much as she supports my career decisions — she also gets very stressed out “for me” about how I need to do so much work even though I’m not that stressed about it myself… Until she brings it up and makes me feel like I’m making poor decisions through her stress. I don’t want to break up with her… But I have a bad feeling about the situation continuing to escalate. I find myself thinking that maybe she’d be happier with someone with a similar schedule to hers that wouldn’t stress her out so much… Which makes me think that maybe I would be better off with someone in my field… (which was an initial point of attraction for both of us in the first place) I’m conflicted because I am still happy… Most of the time. I hope there is a compromise to be found that will work out for us to stay together while on these seoerate career paths but I truly don’t know if waiting for one while this stress builds is the best idea either. Does anyone have any advice?

  7. Ann says:

    Love over all. Careers can end abruptly and for any reason, then nothing is left.

  8. Sagan says:

    Whether career wins or not is more inline with your personality-type, I believe. As an INTJ myself (100% introvert, to boot), career definitely wins out though I’m not without my fleeting moments of wanting a life-partner too, provided they haven’t the desire to produce offspring or are emotionally needy. If you’re of a more emotional personality-type then the likelihood that a career will outweigh the questionable realism of romance is low. Though an illogical path to take considering that a good career will take care of you for life by providing more predictably sufficient funds in which to live off of as well as predictable outcomes once you spend that money, it is also illogical to follow a path for which you can’t fully commit. If you choose to let your emotions have such a big say in your life, then you must adhere to them. There is no simple answer to this but I would suggest that you ask yourself this question: Would following this path (moving to be with a significant other, taking a job in another place – whatever it may be – make ME more content? You must put your own happiness above others’. Besides that, we are each responsible for our own contentment, anyway. Once you determine if your path would make you happier or not, it should be easy enough to determine your next step.

  9. Alina says:

    I want to share my feelings as well. I had a relationship of about six and a half years. Since six months everything wasn’t going right between us. I had gone for his graduation studies and I went for the preparation of medical entrance exams. The problem is he is ignoring me since few weeks. He doesn’t pick up call and never calls me back. Now he has also reached to a decision to change his number and not to tell me. This all happened because of our regular fight but he never reacted this way before. He had also blocked me many a times. This is the peak time my studies and I am unable to concentrate on it. Every time i think about him and want him to talk to me but he is not even responding. What should I do? I am unable to move on like him and neither I am able to concentrate on studies. My life is at stake and miserable. I don’t know how to cope with this. I need help.

  10. martiza says:

    I’m 24 yr old and having very loving boyfriend, he treats me like princess each n every moment of the day. I m the world for him.. Its been 10 month dat we are dating, now he asked my family for marriage.. N will be getting married soon, just after my elder sister… But I m very ambitious girl, I have so many dreams, my parents dreams n all… I want to do so much in my life n I know it wouldn’t be posible after marriage… He can’t wait for long, what to do… Career or love? . He don’t want to wait neither his family… everybody is in hurry… N I’m not mentally prepared for marriage.. I have personal goals in my life… Now I have feeling that I made mistake… By quickly moving into relationship.. Should have focused on career before all this. But as everybody say. Getting true love is really hard to find… Im afraid to lose him.. If incase I fail in my career goal.. I will regret my whole life.

  11. Jennifer says:

    My boyfriend of 7 months ended thing with me because he wants to move into a management position that will actually offer him less money than he’s making now in our current state. He ended up getting the job offer and declined it. He called back the next day to take it and it was filled. He said he regretted the decision to turn it down and thought that it would be best to break up now because he will be taking the next one that becomes available. He still texts here and there and is always in my FB page. We are in our mid 30’s and have been friends for two years. I have a child from a previous marriage and can’t leave our current state. I want him to choose me. Not only because I would devote the rest of my life to him, but because he actually makes better money here in our current state just doesn’t hild the title he wants. He said he’s confused and needed to figure things out. In the meantime, he broke things off. Do you think he will miss me enough to make our relationship a priority?

  12. joanne says:

    Well you would say choose love wouldn’t you as you small minded bastards think its the be all and end all to life and you get sick pleasure from making others feel inadequate so fuck you and your crappy advice!

  13. jakeolsen says:

    Me and my girlfriend both have jobs now, she’s part time and going to grad school I’m full time and do video work on the side. Our schedules don’t match and we’ve broken up 6 times, I’m always jealous and thinking she’ll cheat on me for no reason other than she told her parents that were done even though were not. It was great in college but it got pretty hard once we got out of college.

  14. Anette says:

    2012: I finally found my dream job
    2012: My boyfriend through 8 years break up with me and I loose practically everything – except my job, my clothes and a great deal of money.
    2013: I meet my currect boyfriend. But he lives in another part of the country.
    2014: I quit my dream job and move in with my new boyfriend (after only 5 months of dating!!)

    I had to quit my job and I did make +/- lists galore.
    In the end, I decided against following my career. There were several reasons for that:
    1. At my job the management was becoming more and more controlling and negative.
    2. I had a great opportunity to proove my worth as an employee after 2 years of work, since my boss was on maternity leave for 6 months.
    3. I was yearning for a new start in life
    4. I thought I had at least enough of a track record to go along finding another job in the new part of the country.
    5. Just before I left, I was offered the opportunity to go for an interview with a HUGE job potential. I turned it down, as I had already quit my existing job.

    Yes – the time after in the new place WAS hard. And yes – I DID become resentful and hateful after almost 9 months, considering moving back to my old place, but without job. That thought made it really hard and I became even more angry. I had a hard time forgiving him and forgiving myself for letting go so quickly (only 5 months of dating remember…)

    Then, in June 2015 the miracle happened: I found another job, also with a dream job potential.
    This journey has not been easy – but in the end I think it was worth it, even if the relationship should not last. I’ve found another life style and by leaving all the old stuff, I’ve gained an opportunity to start over from many angles. So, yes, true love is really worth it, but THINK SERIOUSLY ABOUT WHY YOU WANT TO GIVE UP YOUR CAREER OPPORTUNITY before doing anything drastic!

  15. Evan says:

    Choose love

  16. Ellie says:

    I really do NOT understand this whole argument. Why would anyone have to choose between love and career?
    My point is this… If two people are GENUINELY and TRULY in love, then they recognize that it takes work and good communication to make the relationship thrive. They also recognize that they have to find a way to make things work for BOTH people – that maybe they need to make compromises, or to plan in advance and listen to both sides of any argument. When a couple truly love each other, they find ways to work together effectively in order to meet both people’s needs. This may mean that they delegate tasks (e.g. one person doing housework and the other gardening) or share tasks (i.e. both take turns at doing housework); they may reach agreements as to who does what that are based upon each person’s individual skills (e.g. if one is a better cook than the other, the best cook does the cooking). This is also the case where careers are concerned – negotiations should take place and compromises should be agreed. When a couple genuinely love each other, they will discuss career plans, and will try to find ways to ensure that both people in the couple are satisfied with their career choices. This may be that one person is happy to stay at home and be a housewife or househusband while the other works. Or, it may be that both people have careers, but make some compromises to ensure a healthy work-life balance. It is all about dialogue, and about the two people talking honestly and openly about what they want to do and how they wish to do it.
    In couples where there are issues over career choices, problems are likely to occur. As far as I am concerned NOBODY has a right to put their career before their relationship. If they have chosen to enter a relationship (and relationships are by choice) then they should be adult enough to know that they are then dealing with another person’s life and feelings, and that to make things work the relationship requires dedication, communication and compromise. A person who puts their career before their relationship is probably not in love with the person in question (more likely they are in love with themselves!). NOBODY has a right to impose their wants, demands and lifestyle on another person and this is what happens when they put career before relationship. In doing this, they continue to live as though they are single, even though they are not. It is unfair to expect a partner simply to follow you around as you do what you want – this is what happens if one half of a coupe follows promotions, job offers and suchlike around the country whilst the other does not. Also, working too many hours means that a person spends less and less time with their partner (and with their kids, if they have them). This is unkind, at best – especially on kids, who may not understand why the parent is never around. Even though our incomes may be important, it is hard to justify devoting all of one’s time to money, when one has other commitments such as a partner and kids. Children NEED to spend time with their parents – BOTH parents. They need to feel that they are loved, wanted and supported. They do not feel this when one parent or the other is absent all the time (time spent on career and not family). Besides, having a relationship and kids is a choice that we make. WHY would we choose these things, and then abandon them in favour of spending time at work?
    The only people I know of who continually put THEIR needs (and these include career) over and above the needs of others are NARCISSISTS. Thus, it could be argued that a person who is incapable of negotiation and compromise within a relationship may well have some dangerous narcissistic traits. As stated earlier, I do not believe that in any relationship, one person has a right to put their needs or desires before the other person’s. Relationships require that two people work together and compromise. They also require that the couple spend time with each other; a relationship where the couple are basically doing their own thing all the time is a relationship where they increasingly live separate lives. A relationship where two people increasingly live separate lives risks no longer being a relationship!
    Yes! I do believe that our career choices are important, but when we are in a relationship, we must ensure that our partner’s career choices are equally important. WE must pull together to make sure both people are content with what they are doing. Both people should discuss their career plans, should talk about future family plans, should discuss income and expenditure. As a couple, they should work out the best way forwards.
    I grew up in a family with a father who was basically a “workaholic”. As a child, I felt his continual absence – I felt rejected and unloved by him. We rarely spent time together – talking or doing activities together. I often wondered why he had bothered having kids. It was clear that his job was the most important thing to him – that, and money. Well, money does NOT buy happiness. It could not make a happy relationship between me and my father. The fact is that I felt so rejected by him as a kid, so cast aside and ignored, that as an adult I no longer even want contact with him. Think on that! THAT is just how much damage putting your career before your relationship can do!
    With a bit of common sense, negotiation and compromise, there is nothing to say that a couple who love each other truly cannot have both relationship AND career. We were given brains for a reason – to think things through. Relationships and career choices require thought, planning and dedication. So, this is what we should apply our brains to. If we want to have both, then we have to work with our relationship partners to find ways that ensure we can have both. That ensure BOTH of us can have BOTH!

  17. Julia says:

    When you’re 30+ and still have nobody, you feel time is running out and all the best options for love are already taken or don’t even want you. What do you have left to choose: settle with a so-so guy so you won’t feel alone or go fullsteam with a career? That’s why I can see many women choose career over love. After a while, women get so burned out by love and nothing better is heading their way or they feel they’ve missed their chance, if they have a career at least they have something they can truly focus on. Sure money and career won’t tell you I love you, but true love doesn’t pay the bills. I’m beginning to see that and & think career is what I’m ultimately going to choose.

  18. And That Is The Truth says:

    Well with many women nowadays that have their careers which most of them now are very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, greedy, picky, narcissists, and very money hungry anyway which tells the whole story right there. Enough said.

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