There are a few qualities and traits guys need to understand when it comes to knowing how to be a good boyfriend. While men and women don’t really think along the same lines in a relationship, it’s rather simple to understand what it takes to make your girlfriend feel like the luckiest girl alive.
In fact, the ideal traits and qualities of a great boyfriend are almost so easy to remember and follow, that it’s almost surprising why so many guys fail miserably at something that should be seen as effortless when you love someone!
[Read: 15 good qualities of a person that makes them a good human being]
Well, I’m not trying to build you up to be a pompous prick. But honest, it’s the little details that make all the difference. Just keep these qualities of the ideal boyfriend in mind, and follow them. You’ll be surprised just now happy and lucky your girlfriend would feel to date a catch like you!
Learn to see the world through the eyes of your girlfriend, you’ll be able to understand what it really takes to be a good boyfriend.
You need to remember that guys and girls have their own flaws. But almost always, these flaws aren’t really flaws. Sometimes, it’s just ignorance. A guy may just not know what a girl likes, even if he tries to understand her or please her. BUT there is the potential of a great boyfriend in every guy, if only you choose to reflect within and see things through the eyes of your girlfriend.
If you have to look for the two big qualities that makes a great boyfriend, it would be your willingness to communicate, and how well you empathize with your girlfriend.
Relationships are built on communication and empathy. If you’re dating a girl and even if everything seems like a walk in the clouds, time can reveal cracks and flaws, differences and resentments, between the both of you.
Learn to talk to each other, communicate with each other about wants, desires and individual dreams. [Read: How to fix a relationship that’s falling apart and build it again]
Also, learn to empathize with her and see the world through her eyes. Sometimes, something that seems ridiculous or trivial to you, may hold a lot of importance to her. And that’s where empathy can help you see her side of the picture.
Of course, before we even go to the rest of the traits of a good boyfriend, sometimes, no matter how hard you try to make a relationship work with someone, both of you may be too different from each other or just totally incompatible when it comes to things that matter. And in circumstances like these, it’s always better to just let go and find someone you find more compatible. [Read: 18 critical signs of an unhealthy relationship that signals the end of love]
So now that we’ve warmed up to the important things it takes for a successful relationship, let’s figure out how to be a good boyfriend, and from from just-meh to oh-so-a-meh-zing!
Remember, these qualities aren’t herculean nor are these expectations from a perfect boyfriend too ambitious. If you actually are a decent guy within your heart to begin with, then these traits *and empathy and communication* would be deep-rooted within your mind anyways, even if you’re too lazy to follow through now and then.
If you can see several of these traits in your behavior already, that’s great, good for you! But if you’re missing several qualities pointed out here, your girlfriend’s probably not as happy as she could be. And chances are, she’s not very happy in the relationship either!
So if you want to know how to be a good boyfriend, always make sure you remember these qualities and live by them. [Read: 20 easy ways to make your girlfriend incredibly happy]
A great boyfriend loves talking to his girlfriend. He has interesting things to talk about even when there’s nothing new. And most importantly, he wants to understand his girlfriend and he wants her to understand him, warts and all.
Boyfriends aren’t born great. They become good boyfriends by knowing how to behave with women and the girl they love.
One of the first steps in getting the admiration of a girl you like is to treat her like a lady. Learn to be chivalrous and understand what it takes to make her feel special. It’s easy to play nice until you get the girl, and treat her like you don’t care once the chase is over. But guys who do that will never be able to hold on to a great girl who’s desired by all guys. [Read: What is chivalry? The real knights code and modern day codes]
Do you think you have an active life? Do you enjoy meeting and interacting with people? Or do you enjoy life best cooped in front of a gaming console with no distractions *real work!* all day?
A great boyfriend is almost always a great guy too. He has an active social life, and gets along with people easily. He’s likable and has a warm aura about him that draws people to him. You don’t need to be out and about every single day, but as long as you don’t want to isolate yourself and your girlfriend from the rest of the world, that’s a great start! [Read: How to be more fun and interesting and make everyone want to know you]
Romance isn’t about a handful of roses and a social media post bragging about it!
Almost all guys woo a girl until she decides to date them. And then, many of these guys take it easy as soon as they “hook” the girl. Don’t be the guy who takes a backseat and expects the girl to do all the work as soon as you’ve won her heart. If you can’t continue to be the great guy, that’s probably because you’re being too self-centered and selfish. [Read: How to know if you’re the selfish partner in the relationship]
A great boyfriend is one who sees his girlfriend, and knows her well. Do you notice your girlfriend’s new haircut or a new dress when she wears one?
If a guy loves a girl and finds her fascinating, he’d be observant and would easily recognize something new in the girl he dates. And if you don’t notice them, you can still be assured there are other men who would notice her and woo her instead.
Do you ask your girlfriend about her life every day? A good boyfriend is always interested to hear about his girlfriend’s life and the things she does every day. If you actually care about someone, you’d want to hear about their day, and every little thing that happened in it, wouldn’t you?
Do you ever pressurize her into doing something YOU want, even though you know she’s not happy to do it? Don’t manipulate a girl or gaslight her into doing things your way. It isn’t a sign of love, but a sign of control. [Read: 15 subtle signs of a controlling boyfriend you should avoid]
When two people love each other, they can’t help but try to bring out the best sides in each other. Do you motivate your girlfriend to achieve her full potential instead of telling her that she’s incompetent or can’t do something?
If you want to know how to be a good boyfriend, this is as good as it gets. You know your girlfriend better than anybody else, flaws and all. Most guys assume a relationship is all about being happy and in love, and having a great time in bed. But that’s not where love ends.
Help your girlfriend become a better person by helping her overcome her flaws. When both of you try to make each other better individuals, you can achieve more happiness and satisfaction out of life. Learn to positively criticize your girlfriend and help her with her flaws at the same time. By helping her become a better person, she’ll love you and respect you a lot more. [Read: How to change someone’s life and help them find true happiness]
A good boyfriend would always try to impress his girlfriend’s friends and family, even if he can’t get along with a few of them.
Do you make the effort to get along with them even if you don’t care for them? If you’re a good boyfriend, making the small effort to get along with your girlfriend’s loved ones is a small gesture she’ll truly appreciate.
If you want to be a great boyfriend, no matter how busy or occupied you are, make time for her now and then. If you truly love her, you could sacrifice a bit of sleep or stay up longer to talk to her, even if it’s for a few minutes or hours.
Do it, not because your girlfriend nags you to do spend time with her, but because you care enough to want to be with her. [Read: How much time should couples spend together? The answers you need to know]
You can’t expect your girlfriend to do everything you want or behave the way you expect her to, just because she’s your girlfriend. Remember that she’s just your girlfriend, you don’t own her and shouldn’t expect her to behave like a trained monkey just because she’s likes you or you’re getting some action in bed with her.
If you want to know how to be a good boyfriend, learn to treat your girlfriend with respect and pay attention to her needs. Don’t take her words lightly or ignore her advice just because she’s a ‘girl’. If you truly do love your girlfriend, you would respect her too.
And if you can’t respect her, it’s obvious it’s not love that’s holding the relationship together.
A great boyfriend is one who has goals in life and works towards achieving them. Do you bitch and moan to your girl about how unfair life is? Or do you grab life by the horns and try to make something great out of it?
A good boyfriend inspires his girlfriend to be better, through his actions. And doesn’t rely on his girlfriend to mommy him and take care of him instead. [Read: How to be a man the way he really should be]
A guy may be stubborn when it comes to his ambition and his determination, but he should never be stubborn when it comes to making decisions or making life plans with his girlfriend. Compromises and sacrifices are a part of making a relationship work in the long run.
Do you ever forget your birthday? Of course, you don’t. You never forget your birthday because it’s a really special day that comes just once a year, right?
Don’t you think your anniversary is special too, or perhaps your girlfriend’s birthday? It’s really arrogant when a guy forgets an occasion that his girlfriend holds dear, and then says it’s no big deal. If your own special day can be important, why can’t you understand that women give equal attention to their special days too.
Try to make a conscious effort to understand your girlfriend and remember the special days if she’s indeed important to you. [Read: 8 relationship dates men should never ever forget]
A good boyfriend should be willing to compromise and indulge his girlfriend now and then, if only to make her happy. And is this especially valid if the activity means a lot to your girl.
A good boyfriend may want to spend all his time with his girl. But at the same time, he’d still give his girl the space to pursue her own dreams. As much as you love her and miss her when she isn’t around, the perfect boyfriend ensures his girl focuses on her own life and her aspirations.
Do you make your girl feel secure in the relationship? Romantic gestures and words work wonders in helping her feel loved. [Read: The sweetest romantic gestures for everyday life you can use]
But do you also maker her feel secure and respected when you’re spending time around other women? Or when an attractive woman walks down the street when your girlfriend is walking beside you? [Read: 15 things a guy shouldn’t do on Instagram when he has a girlfriend]
Your girlfriend may make the effort to look great in your arms. Do you do the same for her? Do you groom yourself and appear respectable when you meet her? Do you work out and try to stay fit and healthy because you respect her, and respect the effort she takes to appear presentable around you?
A perfect boyfriend initiates and maintains an active sex life. He’s innovative and tries to keep sex fun because he realizes that sex is just as important as love in a happy romance. [Read: 30 naughty sex questions for couples to keep the sexy spark alive]
Many guys let their life spin out of control when their addictions take control of their life. If you’re addicted to anything at all, you’d know this very well.
No matter how hard your woman tries to communicate with you, or get you to listen, when you’re under the haze of a craving, nothing gets to you. Are you willing to let go of your addictions and make the relationship work?
An addiction replaces everything that’s a priority in your life, and pushes them to second place. And no matter how you see it, it will ruin everything else in your life, one day at a time and give you nothing in return.
A man of principles doesn’t backtrack on his words. He makes promises and keeps them. He’s in control of his life, and has firm principles in life. If you want to know how to be a good boyfriend, start by learning to keep your word to her. Remember, a good man’s word is as strong as oak. [Read: 23 foolproof relationship tips to transform your love life]
Insecurities and doubts always have a way of cropping up in a relationship when there are secrets or lies. A great boyfriend doesn’t give you his girlfriend an opportunity to doubt him. He communicates with her frankly and avoids lying or keeping secrets that may affect the relationship.
A lonely guy may seem like an ideal boyfriend because you have so much time to spend with your girlfriend.
But if you’re being avoided by the rest of the world, there’s probably a good reason behind why no one gets along with you. Are you antisocial? Or needy? Or are you manipulative or aggressive? If you’re lonely, and not by intention, work on building a good social network. It’ll help you realize where you’re going wrong around people. And spending too much time only with your girlfriend may make her feel like a caged bird in no time.
A good boyfriend doesn’t think he’s a know-it-all. He’s always willing to hear his girlfriend out and listen to her point of view completely before taking a decision, especially if the decision involves the both of you.
Do you ever try to subtly control and manipulate your girlfriend unintentionally? Do you hate it when she spends time with friends? Do you get jealous when she achieves success?
You may envy your girlfriend or her lifestyle, but if you want to be a good boyfriend, instead of trying to pin down her wings, learn to fly with her instead. [Read: How to not be jealous and learn to grow instead]
A perfect boyfriend stays in touch all the time, and keeps his girlfriend updated on his daily life. Don’t be secretive or avoid her calls when you’re out with friends. It doesn’t take much effort, or more than a minute, to update your girlfriend over a quick text even when you’re busy.
If you want to know how to be a good boyfriend and help your girlfriend feel secure, be an open book and don’t ignore her or shut her out of your life. [Read: 20 reasons why a good morning text is so important to make someone’s day]
For men, what matters is physical intimacy and sex. For women, sex is equally important, but they do appreciate a lot of affection too. Just like sex matters to men, cuddles and affection matter just as much for women. Show your affection by spending time holding hands or sitting down wrapped in each other’s arms now and then while having a conversation.
A warm hug and a few affectionate kisses mean more in love than wild sexual escapades. And it’ll help your relationship last longer too. [Read: 16 non-sexual touches that’ll make your girlfriend feel loved and connected]
One of the most important aspects of knowing how to be a good boyfriend is to avoid taking your girlfriend for granted. If she gives you a foot massage or cooks a delicious meal for you over the weekend, just don’t take your girlfriend for granted and expect the same every weekend.
In a perfect relationship, both partners have to understand the efforts of their lover and realize that every simple gesture is a sign of love and affection that should never be taken for granted.
Never ever take your girlfriend for granted or take a special gesture for granted. Instead, always learn to be thankful and appreciative of every single affectionate gesture. [Read: 15 signs of a taker in a relationship – Are you a taker or a giver?]
All of us need a helping hand when we’re in need. You don’t need to be clingy and become her Man Friday who’s there to answer her every beck and call. But when your girlfriend genuinely asks you for advice or help, be there to help her out.
Your weekend games or your male bonding time may be important to you, but on a rare occasion that your girlfriend asks you for some help, make sure you’re by her side. It’s always reassuring for a girl to know that she can depend on her man when she’s feeling helpless and all alone. [Read: 15 courteous ways to be a gentleman and keep your girlfriend happy]
Now this isn’t just isolated to boyfriends, but since we’re going over how to be a good boyfriend, we’ll stick to the man’s side of things. It may be egoistically painful to apologize, but sometimes, it’s a generous and yet humble move when a man can apologize to his girlfriend even if he believes he’s not in the wrong.
In the heat of an argument, it’s easy to have tempers flying on a high, but always remember that a simple apology can end the fight and help both of you communicate better. At times, apologize to your girlfriend even if you don’t believe it’s your fault, for the sake of the relationship.
P.S. You can always hint to your girlfriend that you’re still right when both of you are having a laugh after a few hours. It’ll help both of you sort your differences without getting blinded by anger or ego. [Read: How to fight fair in a relationship and grow closer]
Communicate and understand her needs and wants. Try to understand your girlfriend’s feelings, and even if she ever does sulk or behave grumpily, try to understand what’s going on in her mind instead of retaliating back in anger.
Sometimes, women may find it easier to sit by themselves or throw an angry fit instead of getting straight to the point. It’s one of the differences in the way the masculine and feminine energies react to pain or anger.
Instead of getting angry over her behavior, realize that men and women are different in such moments and try to understand her mind without losing your cool. It’ll make her feel better, and you a lot more understanding over time.
Most guys have a tendency to dominate their girlfriends. It may start out subtly in little ways like watching your favorite show over hers or telling your girlfriend to avoid speaking to a few particular friends. But eventually, the urge to dominate a partner grows to an uncontrollable level, especially after being together for a while.
This is one of the worst ways of trying to hold a relationship together. Instead of trying to dominate, learn to communicate. You can’t cage a lover or try to manipulate them into becoming what you want them to be. Love is about the attraction between two individuals. If you try to change someone, it’s not love that’s holding both of you together, it’s your insecurity and cowardliness. [Read: The key differences between a controlling boyfriend and a controlling one]
If you do really love her, and see a future with her as an equal partner, are you making the effort to let her know that she’s important by the way you behave around her? Do you respect her ideas and thoughts? Do you listen to her? Can she truly understand by your behavior that she is an important person in your life?
So now that you know how to be a good boyfriend, how many of these signs and qualities do you see in yourself? This may seem like a long list, but if you are indeed a great guy, you’d probably be doing many of these things already! And if you’re not, maybe it’s time you start!
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