If you’ve never felt it, you may be wondering ‘what does it feel like to be in love?’ The truth is, being in love is one of the most magical feelings ever.
If you’ve never been in love and you want to know what it feels like, well, this is a hard subject to cover. The truth is that being in love is totally different for everyone and that means there’s no solid answer!
That’s not what you wanted to hear, is it? Despite the difficulty, there are some sensations that are pretty common for people surfing on a wave of love.
At the end of the day, love can be intense, and at other times it can be calming. It can be overwhelming or perfect. Love can be so subtle you don’t realize you’re feeling it. Or it can knock you right off your feet. [Read: Why do you love someone? 20 reasons why we fall for people]
What is love?
You might think you know what love is. It is how you feel about your family and friends, and it is more intense than liking someone.
Love is essentially an intense feeling of affection. But, what does that mean? Is love uncontrollable? Do you decide to love? Does it just happen to you? Is love unconditional?
Yes and no, to all of these. Love is so many things to so many people. However, being in love is also so different than loving platonically or within your family. [Read: Love vs. in love – What makes them so different and yet so similar?]
The connection you make with someone you’re in love with is transformative. It can be amazing or awful. It can feel like a drug, or it can hurt.
Whether you don’t know if you’re in love or you just want to be able to describe it, read on to know what it feels like to be in love. [Read: What is true love? 22 signs of love to know if what you’re experiencing is real]
What does it feel like to be in love?
There are hundreds of thousands of poems and songs written about love. It goes beyond a simple definition. Love just isn’t so simple.
That is why we need more than a line or two to really explain what it feels like to be in love.
1. You think about them
When you’re in love, you think about them. Not just when they’re across the table from you but even when they’re not there. You may even think more about them where you’re apart like you have a longing in your soul for the person you love.
Even though they aren’t physically next to you, when you’re in love, you feel their presence in the good times and the bad.
This is why they are typically the first person you want to contact when something major happens. [Read: Which type of attraction is most vital for true love?]
2. You feel their pain
When you love someone, and they hurt, you hurt for and with them. A step above empathy, it is almost like they are an extension of you.
It hurts you to see them hurting no matter what the reason is. You don’t want them to cry. You aren’t uncomfortable when they’re upset, but physically feel like you would do anything for them to be happy.
When you are in love, you feel this absolute obligation to defend them both emotionally and physically. So, if they are wounded, you feel it too. [Read: Reasons why empathy is important in a relationship]
3. You can’t make sense of it
You can’t quite describe it. If someone asks you why you love this person, you could list all of their amazing qualities but that still doesn’t cut it. You want to list their quirks too. You love them for reasons that don’t quite make sense.
When you’re in love, you will risk your life for them. It doesn’t matter that you can’t explain it in any scientific or mathematical way. You know it is there. Being in love doesn’t have to make sense. [Read: Love vs. in love – What makes them so similar and yet so different?]
4. You picture your future with them
When you realize that you love someone, it is like the world opens up and you see all the things in your future that you want. Almost like the missing piece to your puzzle, when you love someone, it makes everything fall into place.
You finally see what your future might look like. Picturing growing old doesn’t seem so bad. Being in love is like finally learning what you didn’t know you were missing.
There aren’t so many question marks in your life because you have a solid piece that you know you want to be there forever. [Read: 19 sure signs of falling in love to watch for]
5. You’re happy to compromise
When you are in love, you are okay with sacrificing your needs and wants for someone else.
When you’re single, giving up watching your favorite TV show live seems like something you wouldn’t do for anyone. But, once you’re in love, it doesn’t seem to matter; you want to make them happy before yourself.
In the end, as much as you think you want or need something, seeing their face happy suddenly trumps all the things that make you happy.
Of course, a healthy version of love makes you both happy, but compromise is about meeting halfway, and that doesn’t seem to be too hard with this person. [Read: Tips to make compromising easier without feeling like you’re losing]
6. You want them to be happy
Being in love brings out this need to please, and to be loved back. You want to be enough for them and be able to make them happy. Even if you were always a little selfish, being in love makes you change.
That is why if someone you love is upset with you or finds out something about you that might change their opinion of you, it is devastating. You want the person you are in love with to love and respect you wholeheartedly. [Read: 15 best things in life only love can give you]
7. You’re comforted
When you are in love, it is like someone filling up your emotional tank. Suddenly, all the loneliness you feel is gone. It isn’t just you against the world anymore. You feel like you always have a safe place to go.
There is someone in your life you click and connect with so well that you feel comforted knowing you can just sit with them and feel at peace.
You also feel like you are finally yourself. You can relax with this person. When you’re in love, you aren’t just admiring someone.
You love them because of what you know about them and how you feel about them. That offers you comfort that nothing else can. [Read: 20 signs you’ve met the real soulmate of your life]
8. You see things differently
Being in love is like taking your first real breath of air or seeing color for the first time.
It breathes new life into your emotions, and you feel everything at once. Sure, it can be overwhelming, but it is also the most amazing and life-affirming feeling life has to offer.
You may feel less bothered by traffic or daily stress. Just thinking about kissing them when you get home can take a bad day and make it so much more hopeful. [Read: 20 signs of being in real love – Have you been hit by cupid’s arrow?]
9. It can be scary
With all the goodness of love, it is balanced with some bad. Being in love is such a good feeling, that the risk of losing it is like nothing else. Sure, being lonely sucks, but losing a great love is worse.
Once you fall in love, the fear of losing that person is terrifying. That fear is what makes you jealous, neurotic, and controlling. But, with true love comes trust and confidence.
When you have all of those together, there is no need for fear. [Read: What does it mean to love someone? 21 good and bad ways to define it]
The absolute best things about being in love
Now you know what it feels like to be in love, let’s talk about some of the fantastic perks of being head over heels for another person.
If you’re someone who is a little scared of falling in love and being vulnerable, perhaps these benefits will help you to open up.
1. A solid support system
When you’re in love, you’re always supported. Your dreams and desires are fully backed up by your other half, and you never really have to worry about being judged.
No matter what you want to do in life, you always have someone there ready to help you achieve the goals you set out for. [Read: 15 ways you’ll experience what real love feels like]
2. Being fully accepted
There really is no better feeling than being completely accepted for who you are. You can be vulnerable, broken, and even really weird… and you’ll always have someone who loves you no matter what.
Being accepted for every single flaw you have is something love provides that you just don’t find elsewhere. [Read: How to know if you love someone – Early signs of a new romance]
3. The confidence
Due to being accepted no matter what, you have killer confidence when you’re in love. When your significant other voices their love for you, or even just knowing how in love you are, you pretty much feel as though you can fly.
Your self-esteem is boosted significantly, and you even learn to love yourself more when you’re in love.
4. Finding your purpose
Some people have a hard time in life because they just don’t feel as though they have any purpose. Finding purpose in your life is definitely one of the bonuses of being in love.
You feel as though you have something worth living and working for. You have this other person in your life who gives you the purpose you need. [Read: The need for purpose in life – The amazing things it can do for you]
5. You don’t have to explain yourself, you’re understood
Do you ever think back to situations where you just had to keep explaining yourself over and over again because nobody seemed to understand how you were feeling?
Well, when you’re in love, that’s not really a problem. Your significant other understands you and knows how you’re feeling without you needing to go into major specifics.
6. You’re never lonely
This is really the best thing about being in love. You never really feel lonely – even if you are literally at home alone. There’s always this part of you that feels included and with another person, even if you’re watching movies at home by yourself.
Being in love gives you this sense of unity and comfort and rids your life of loneliness. [Read: 18 ways to fall in love slowly like you’re in a fairytale]
7. There’s always someone to share your life with
Whenever you have news of any kind, good or bad, you always have someone to share it with.
Even if it’s the smallest thing that happened during the day that made you sad or happy, you have someone willing and ready to listen to everything.
8. A sense of security
No, we don’t mean this in a financial sense. We mean you have a sense of security when it comes to yourself and your relationship.
Before you and your partner fall in love, while you’re just dating and getting to know each other, there’s a little bit of uneasiness and the unknown. Do they like me? Do they think I’m weird? Are they being sincere? As fun as dating is, these worries and concerns are almost enough to completely ruin the experience.
However, being in love gets rid of those insecurities, and you’re left feeling secure in your relationship and in yourself. [Read: Love and affection – The magic spark in long-term relationships]
9. Regular sex
This is obviously something that has to be thrown on the list of the absolute best things about being in love, because sex, when you’re in love, is like nothing else out there.
The emotional bond between you and your significant other intensifies everything. When you’re able to let go and be yourself, you find that sex is much more enjoyable. It’s especially magical when it’s with someone you care for so deeply. [Read: Slow sex – Steamy reasons why it’s the best sex ever]
10. You can dream of possibilities for the future
When you’re single and not in love with anyone, the possibilities for your future aren’t very clear. You have so many options that the picture just doesn’t pop into your mind.
But when you’re in love, your future has so many possibilities and all those things seem realistic. You can picture your life with someone and having a family with them, and it’s the best feeling.
11. You feel like you’ve come “home”
After being away from the person you love all day, returning to them – no matter where you are – makes it feel like you’re at home.
You no longer feel like home is a place, but rather, being with that person is now your new home. [Read: Why we fall in love – A little science, a little fate!]
12. Regular cuddles
Humans were created to be with other humans. We need physical contact in order to feel calm and complete. Being in love gives you that physical contact you so desire, and you can get it whenever you want.
Being able to snuggle up to the one you love after a long day is a feeling you can’t get anywhere else.
13. Someone to care for you when you’re sick
And they don’t care about the risks. When you’re in love, you don’t even care about catching germs. You just want your love to feel better and stop being uncomfortable.
Having someone who feels the same about you is the best. [Read: Puppy love to real love – 15 signs you’ve graduated to true love]
14. You always have someone to back you up
Stress, family, crazy jobs, and even your own obsessiveness can drive you insane. Luckily, being in love gives you someone who will help keep you sane.
They’ll assist with your stressful life, and they’ll always be there to back you up no matter what. [Read: Real signs of true love in a relationship]
Being in love versus loving the idea of love
There is a fine line between dreams and reality. Sometimes, you find that dreaming is better than waking up in the real world. So, are you in love or just in love with the concept of love?
Perhaps you’re not actually IN love with the person you’re with, you just like the idea of it. Or you search for people to have relationships with because you want to say you’re in love. If that’s the case, you need to do some serious soul-searching.
Here are the signs that you’re more in love with the idea of love than your actual partner:
1. Finding your true love becomes your raison d’être
When you are in love with the idea of love, finding love becomes your sole purpose. You look for it and you chase it as if it were a dream slipping through your fingers. Because of this, you believe that when you find true love, your life will be better and you will be fulfilled.
While love is indeed all those things, it is never the same for everybody, and cannot be responsible for fulfilling your every need. [Read: How to find the right person for you when you’ve given up hope]
2. You constantly want to change your partner
While you constantly tell yourself that you love your partner, you find that you want to change them. While you might not tell them this outright, you are constantly giving them ideas on how they can improve, or “better themselves.”
Even if they make all of these improvements you suggest, it’s unlikely that you’ll ever want to stop changing them. That’s because you’re more interested in an idea than the actual person they are. [Read: Signs you’re being really selfish in the relationship]
3. You find yourself flitting from relationship to relationship
Breakups hurt. Heartbreaks hurt even more. Most people like to take a complete break from relationships after a particularly painful breakup before getting back into the dating field.
While some people tend to recover from breakups a little faster than others, there are those who bounce from relationship to relationship without taking a break in between.
This is usually due to an irrational fear of being single, or of being the lone part of a whole. That feeling causes them to seek another partner without giving them time to heal existing wounds. [Read: Very obvious signs you’re a serial monogamist]
You want your partner to treat you as if you are their entire world. You long to be placed high on a pedestal. Without knowing it, the relationship you seek revolves around you, and you alone.
This way of thinking is a one-way ticket to disaster.
5. You realize you don’t really love them, but you still hold on
Perhaps this is the most damning and painful thing about being obsessed with the mere concept of love. You find that you do not really love your partner. Love, after all, is a very complicated thing.
What you have for your partner becomes entirely superficial. You find yourself holding on to something that is long dead. But every day it becomes harder and harder to let go because losing them means, for a time, losing the idea of having a lover. [Read: Is he the one?]
6. You’re less than faithful
Because you discover that you cannot find fulfillment in just one person, you find yourself constantly caught between two—or more—people. You find yourself seeking someone better and seeking out other options, without disposing of your current partner. [Read: In love with two people? Here’s how you make up your mind]
7. You never take it slow
Taking it slow has never been your game. When you look for romance, you tend to go the fast route. You find that you cannot take a relationship in your stride, and you find yourself caught in a whirlwind romance.
Because of this, the fire tends to burn out faster than it took to light the spark.
8. You find yourself constantly questioning the fight
Love is a wonderful, beautiful thing, and to fight for something so beautiful would, indeed, be an honor. It becomes a tragedy, however, when you find yourself questioning if you have something to fight for in the relationship.
Do you fight for love, or just the idea of being in a loving, passionate relationship? When you find yourself questioning the fight, it is time to rethink the entire thing. [Read: Loveless relationship – Why people choose to stay]
9. You don’t have healthy self-esteem when it comes to love
When you are in love with the concept of love, you usually find that you haven’t really felt entirely loved by anyone around you—not even by your family or friends.
Because of this, you desperately try to find it in other people, because, without love, or a fraction of it, you feel empty and unfulfilled. [Read: How your self-respect and esteem affects you and the relationships you have]
10. The reality of being with someone through thick and thin becomes exhausting
True love is more than just romance. It is a choice, a commitment to continue loving someone despite their faults and failings, and through whatever life throws at you. Love is more than getting an emotional high.
Sure, love is never easy, but that is what makes it all the more beautiful. If the rigors of life with someone you’re supposed to love become exhausting, that’s not a good sign. [Read: The 20 kinds of lovers that exist in the world]
Love strikes at the strangest times
Understanding what it’s like to love someone is different every time, but the strangest thing about love is that it tends to strike when you least expect it. Sure, it’s a cliché, but it’s true.
If you go looking for love, you rarely find it; at least not the type you want. But if you chill out, wait a little, enjoy yourself, and go with the flow, you often find that love knocks on your door *metaphorically* almost out of the blue.
[Read: Healthy relationship – 27 signs, qualities, and what it looks like in real life]
What does it feel like to be in love? It feels scary, amazing, exhilarating, overwhelming, opportunistic, fantastic, and spectacular. But, with all that, stop overthinking it. Just enjoy the ride.
