Not that I am a Jonas fan, but that Nick Jonas song about jealousy always makes me smirk. When he talks about “puffing up his chest,” I get it. We have all seen a guy go all puffy. That is only one way for how to tell when a guy is jealous. But there are signs and clues you might be missing that your guy feels insecure about your feelings.
Jealousy is that little green-eyed monster that makes us do things we normally wouldn’t. But, it doesn’t always come across in a predictable manner, especially with men.
How to tell when a guy is jealous – 25 signs that screams “I am jealous”
Often, guys are not completely in touch with their own feelings. Not really knowing how they feel themselves, their behaviors come across as odd. Sending you mixed signals.
Like a guy punching your arm on recess to show he likes you, sometimes his jealousy doesn’t look much like being jealous. These are some behaviors that send you questioning his love for you, but they say “I love you.” Confused? Men are very confusing creatures.
#1 He won’t talk to you or ignores you. If he is jealous you’d think he’d try to sweet talk or charm you. But, that isn’t always the case. A threatened or insecure guy might try to manipulate you by playing hard to get or by getting your attention by giving you the silent treatment.
If he isn’t talking to you and you haven’t done anything, it might just be his insecurity. [Read: Jealous boyfriend? How to make him not-so-jealous anymore]
#2 He is overly sweet and charming. If your avoidant and non-affectionate guy suddenly can’t keep his hands off you and sweet talk you enough, then he could be afraid to lose you.
Either he sees something in a secret admirer you don’t, or he realizes he can’t take you for granted. The turning on the charm tactic makes you fall head over heels in love with him again.
#3 He suddenly stops texting. Another form of letting you know he isn’t exactly happy with you is to just turn you off through not texting. If your major form of communication is via cell phone and he acts MIA, then he might be trying to send you a very subtle message. He doesn’t like the way you’ve carried on or he’s afraid of your attraction to someone besides him.
#4 He acts all tough when he really isn’t a tough guy. That whole “puff” out your chest thing comes out in him. Like a cock ready for a cockfight, he walks around looking at guys in the room like “you want a piece of me?” when he really isn’t equipped with the kind of toughness to give anyone a piece of him *unless he doesn’t want it returned*.
If your meek man suddenly behaves right out of the World Fighting Federation, it is definitely safe to assume he feels threatened. [Read: 14 things you say or do that emasculates your man]
#5 He is trying to one up and show off. If he throws cash around the bar, offering a drink to everyone, or insisting on paying the tab, then he feels threatened by another guy. Guys think money or “titles” gives them power.
A list of accomplishments, a show of what he knows, or pretending to have an endless bank account, are all ways that signal he is jealous. [Read: 10 unassuming signs that you’re dating a jerk]
#6 He flirts with someone else, which is not his style. It might seem like he is interested in someone else when he is trying to make you as jealous as he feels.
If he flirts with another girl or acts charming, then don’t be afraid that he’s moving on. He may just be trying to show you what you’d miss if you didn’t choose him.
#7 He is uncharacteristically blowing up your phone. If he acts all jealous and tries to get your attention all the time and that isn’t his style, then he worries if he doesn’t, someone else will. Not giving you a moment’s peace, he tries to stay in the forefront of your mind. [Confession: I’m a boyfriend who’s too clingy and needy]
#8 He makes excuses to stop by. Constantly forgetting something or needing to pick things up, if he suddenly has a magnet to your home day and night, then he might be worried you are cheating.
Like playing Magnum, P.I., he keeps tabs on your house and your whereabouts to make sure no one takes his spot.
#9 He starts spying on you, your phone, and your social media. Not just stopping by your house, watching your social media sites, or stalking what you do while he is not around, indicates he thinks you step out on him. [Read: Dating rules: 10 unfair but totally relevant rules we all have to live by]
#10 He just leaves you somewhere. If you’re out with him and you turn around, and he suddenly left you there without a word, rethink how you treated him. Or consider if you treated some other man with some TLC. Sometimes a guy gets pissed and just walks off without a word to wake you up to how you made him feel.
#11 He gets cold and aloof and refuses to engage when out. If he begins to pout like a two-year-old when you are out for the night and can’t be brought out of his mood, he might just be trying to ruin your time because he fears something or someone might be more fun than him.
Don’t foster it by continuing to give into his immature behavior. If you aren’t flirting or doing anything wrong, let him sit and sulk! Eventually, he’ll get over it. If you let in, you let in forever.
#12 He wants to leave like RIGHT now! The music might suck and the venue not fantastic, but if y’all still manage to have a good time and he suddenly insists that it is time to go when you start talking to other people, especially other men. That screams “I am insecure and want to get you out of here before you find something better.”
#13 He wants to end the relationship for no reason at all. Sometimes a guy feels as if he doesn’t deserve you and makes him continually feel on edge. Those feelings of never being good enough leave him pushing you away. A self-fulfilling prophecy, he breaks up with you before he gets hurt by you. [Read: Passive aggressive men: How to help them quit playing games]
#14 Guys night becomes every night. Playing hard to get becomes his M.O. Never wanting to be without you suddenly becomes never wanting to be with you. It isn’t that he isn’t interested in you, he is afraid you might not be that into him.
Another tactic to prevent himself from being hurt, putting the guys ahead of you feels like he doesn’t like you anymore. It might be the exact opposite.
#15 When you ask him what is wrong, he says “nothing.” If he acts strangely but won’t say what is wrong, then it is probably because he won’t admit that he is jealous or insecure about losing you.
If he continues to say nothing, let it go and let him figure it out. It isn’t your duty to pry his feelings out of him.
#16 When you mention a particular guy, his face changes and goes blank. You can tell that there is one particular guy that, when mentioned, seems to send him into a far-away zone or shut down. He is probably jealous of whoever you talk about.
#17 He seemingly can’t be bothered with you, but when you say you made other plans he gets all hurt. He wants to prove that he shouldn’t be jealous because you choose him. When you decide to do something other than hanging out with him, his sullen mood signals he’s probably jealous.
#18 He gives your friends the Spanish Inquisition. Worried about what you have been doing, or even who you have hung out with, he questions your friends relentlessly to see what you have been up to. [Read: 17 big signs of a jealous and possessive boyfriend]
#19 He follows you around or does “drive-bys.” If you catch him just showing up places he wasn’t invited to or doing drive-bys and he doesn’t live nearby, then chances are good he’s jealous and checking up on you.
#20 He stands way too close for comfort. If he acts more like your bodyguard than your boyfriend, he is insecure and wants to make sure he is the only guy to get close to you.
#21 He gets friends and family involved in your situation. When threatened with losing you, he gets your friends and family involved to question them or to get them on his side. That is covert jealousy and a way to control you through who you associate and talk to.
#22 He starts to question your every move. When “how was your day?” turns into “where were you today?” and “who were you with?” that is a sign that he distrusts what you have been up to. AKA, he is jealous. [Read: 17 relationship red flags that most people ignore]
#23 He puts a GPS on you or rigs your mobile devices to know where you are. Yep, there are apps he can install on your mobile device to find out where you are at. If your mobile is glitchy and he seems to know more than he should about your whereabouts, you might want to do a system’s check.
#24 He tries to put you down to tank your self-esteem, so you will stick around. Calling you names is something you haven’t experienced before, but suddenly he tries to tank your self-esteem. That means he is probably jealous and wants to make sure you think no one wants you but him. [Read: 16 abusive relationship signs of a devious lover]
#25 He pushes you away to sabotage the relationship. A systematic takedown, he ignores you, shuts you out, goes out with the guys, and stops answering your calls. Sure, your first thought is that he isn’t into you. He just might be more into you than you think and just too scared that you aren’t that into him.
[Read: How to reassure and win over a super jealous lover]
Of course, there are going to be times when you are both going to be jealous; it is human. But, getting him out of his jealous mode might be as simple as saying “I love you, babe.” If he has any signs above, you’ll know how to tell when a guy is jealous.
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A writer isn’t born, but created out of experiences. No lack of subject matter, my life reads more like fiction than anything that could have been imagined...
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