Interacting with a petty person is super frustrating to deal with. Here’s everything about what a petty person is.
Do you know someone who can’t seem to just let things go and embodies the phrase “don’t get mad, get even”? If so, you’re likely dealing with a petty person. But what is a petty person, exactly?
Understanding this can make a big difference in how you interact with them. By exploring the traits and signs of a petty person, delving into the reasons behind their behavior, and learning practical strategies to handle them, you can navigate these challenging relationships with less stress and more confidence.
Whether it’s a friend, family member, or coworker, gaining insight into these traits will empower you to foster healthier interactions. [Read: 38 signs & traits of a happy, healthy relationship & what it should look like]
Who is a Petty Person?
A petty person is someone who concerns themselves far too much with the things that don’t really matter, the small details, the things that have no bearing on anything of importance.
Okay, let’s admit it, we’ve all had our petty moments every now and then.
Having pet peeves is completely normal, but petty people tend to make a big deal out of everything. Maybe they got upset because you stepped on their shoes or lost their pen. It makes you enraged to deal with their pettiness, but there’s nothing you can do about it as it’s part of their nature.
If you know someone petty and they happen to be your friend, you’re in for quite a ride. If they’re close to you, you’re subjected to their pettiness all the more. [Read: How to stop negative people from sapping all your energy]
The Science Behind Petty Behavior
Before we jump into everything else, let’s first get a handle on what’s going on inside a petty person’s head. Knowing what makes someone act petty can help us recognize the signs of a petty person and figure out how to deal with them.
1. Insecurity and Low Self-Esteem
One of the main reasons behind petty behavior is deep-seated insecurity. When someone doesn’t feel good about themselves, they might overcompensate by focusing on trivial matters. This is a common sign of a petty person, as they may nitpick or criticize others to feel better about themselves.
2. Need for Control
A petty person often has a strong desire to control situations and people around them. By fixating on minor details, they try to assert dominance or influence. Understanding this need for control is key to recognizing what a petty person is and why they behave the way they do.
3. Narcissism and Ego
Sometimes, petty behavior stems from narcissistic tendencies. A person with an inflated ego may react negatively to minor slights because they believe they deserve special treatment. This is another sign of a petty person, as their self-centered nature makes them more likely to engage in petty actions. [Read: 73 red flag narcissism signs & traits of a narcissist to read them like a book]
Why are Petty People the Worst?
There’s no way of expecting what things petty people will get triggered by. Maybe it’s their own issues, maybe you spilled their coffee, or maybe your presence just annoys them. Having a petty friend is the absolute worst experience and there’s no getting around it.
Even if being petty is somewhat glamorized today, there’s nothing good or positive about pettiness. If you offend or even betray someone petty, they’ll likely hold grudges for the rest of their life as it’s one of the signs of a petty person.
When you hurt them even unintentionally, they’ll do everything to seek revenge so that you hurt as much as you hurt them! Sounds scary and creepy, huh? This is just the tip of the iceberg when dealing with a petty person. [Read: 15 ways to spot and stop selfish people from hurting you]
The Most Obvious Signs of a Petty Person
If you’re not sure if someone you’re close to falls into the petty bracket or not, let’s check out these signs of a petty person to help shed some light and recognize the rotten ones.
1. They’re Experts in Making a Big Deal Out of Everything
If you’re looking for someone who’s an expert in making a big deal out of everything, then that’s a petty person for you. Perhaps you forget to text them back because you’re busy at work.
An ordinary person would be understanding about this situation, but a petty person would do everything to hold your mistake against you. Even if it’s something minor, they’d go to great lengths just to make your life miserable.
This is one of the signs of a petty person you should watch out for. You end up apologizing and making it up to them when you’re really not sure what you’re apologizing for. [Read: Do you have broken bird syndrome? How to be empathetic with boundaries]
2. They’re Pretty Sly in Some Ways
Petty people don’t actually intend to be petty – it’s just in their nature. Sometimes, they use their pettiness to be a little sly. It’s easily covered up because they play the victim very well. Even when they’re in the wrong, they’d play the blame game and act like the victim and make everything your fault.
This is one of the signs of petty people that’s exhausting to tolerate. It’s not just manipulative, but toxic in every sense. Petty people will do everything in their capability to get what they want in every situation they’re in.
3. They’re Never Wrong *At Least in Their Own Minds*
Since they’re basically masters at manipulating you into taking the blame, this means they also never admit their faults. Never.
Petty people hold grudges in a special kind of way. Even if their life depends on it, they’ll still continue to hold grudges towards someone they perceived wronged them.
If you’re waiting for a petty person to apologize to you, then you’re setting yourself for disappointment. Unfortunately, that’s something that might never happen.
Of course, that means you end up taking the blame for things that really aren’t your fault – just for the sake of ending the argument. Whether it’s because of pride or their tendency to hold grudges, this is one of the infuriating signs of a petty person. [Read: The creepy signs your friend is secretly an energy vampire]
4. They’re Experts at Grudges in a Timid Way
The thing about petty people is they don’t hold grudges like an average person does. You won’t even know they’re holding grudges until you feel their avoidance and anger towards you. This is where the term passive-aggressiveness comes into significance.
When they’re mad or angry at you, they’ll treat you in the most passive-aggressive manner that you won’t even be aware of their grudges until they suddenly ignore you. Annoyingly, it may stop you from socializing with people they have an issue with, simply to keep the peace. [Read: How to deal with passive aggresisve behavior calmly and with class]
5. You’ll be Treading on Eggshells
One of the signs of a petty person is that you must tread on eggshells a little when you’re around them. It’s very easy to upset them and you might not even know you’ve done it.
This is why it’s really hard to act like yourself and be comfortable when you’re around a petty person.
One of the signs of a petty person is indeed constantly watching your actions and words around them, afraid it might trigger their frustration over something minor.
You’ll find out later when they’re acting a little ‘off’ or someone else tells you what you’ve apparently done to them. [Read: How to know if you’re walking on eggshells in your love life]
6. They Can be Super Judgmental
Another one of the signs of a petty person is that they can be very judgmental of others. When someone looks or acts different from their level of standards, they’re quick to judge and criticize. Even before getting to know the person, they jump into the worst assumptions of them.
They’re not particularly open-minded in that respect, and they’re also pretty big gossipers. Again, this doesn’t come as a shock as petty people aren’t exactly people who can get along with others.
7. There is a ‘Look’ They Give You
Again with the judgment, petty people are quick to give you that look when you say something that either triggers them, frustrates them, or isn’t just something they agree with. Even if it’s something minor, you can see the judgment all over their facial expressions.
The thing is, they don’t even bother hiding their facial expressions even if this is the case. This is likely to be an eye roll when you say or do something they don’t agree with or maybe a side-eye expression that stops you in your tracks. [Read: How to stop caring – 20 steps to put yourself first and care less about others]
8. You Can’t Pretend You Didn’t Say Something – They Know
If you sent a message and said a particular thing, don’t try and pretend that you didn’t. This is one of the signs of a petty person that you really can’t get around, no matter how hard you try.
They’ve memorized what you said and because of their detailed-oriented personality, they know the precision of your words. You can’t get much past a petty person. Even if you have no ill intentions in mind, it can be super-annoying.
A petty person likely spends a lot of time on social media and loves to post on things that don’t really have much to do with them. They’ll gossip and even start drama in the comments section if they have to.
It’s a perfect outlet for a petty person as it gives them all the drama and none of the confrontation since everything is just online. They can always get out of the situation when necessary.
10. They’re Drama-holics, but They Will Never Admit It
If there’s a certain theme in dealing with a petty person, it’s their addiction to drama. They will do everything to either start one or be in one. Making mountains out of molehills is a petty person’s specialty.
If this is something you regularly notice, it’s definitely one of the signs of a petty person. This is also why it’s extremely exhausting to be friends with someone petty. [Read: Attention-seeking behavior and why some people go looking for drama]
11. Sometimes, You Can’t Help but Respond in Kindness
When you’re around someone petty for a considerable amount of time, it’s easy to act the same way. Honestly, the only people who can tolerate petty people are those who are kind and patient in nature.
Even if you’re tempted to fight back their pettiness, the best thing to do is respond with kindness and consideration. [Read: Toxic people: 48 warning signs & the best ways to deal with them]
12. They’re Condescending in Nature
Surprise, surprise! If there’s anything a petty person is absolutely good at. it’s being condescending in nature. They will do absolutely everything to rub it in your face that they’re right and you’re wrong.
One of the signs of a petty person is that they think they know everything, even when this is far from the truth. They like feeling above or superior to others to an extreme.
13. They’re Terrible Listeners
When someone is selfish, condescending, dramatic, and manipulative, it’s only natural that they won’t be great at listening to you either. They’ll only listen to be able to respond properly or for the sake of pretending *but they’d rather not.*
They really don’t care what you have to share or what ideas you’re contributing – all they care about is themselves. As painful as the sounds, it’s one of the harsh signs of a petty person. [Read: The conversational narcissist – The one who hate listening and love talking]
14. Passive-aggressiveness is Their Nature
There’s no getting around to it as you’ll likely deal with a lot of passive-aggressiveness with a petty person. While being aggressive isn’t ideal either, there’s just something infuriating about someone who’s indirectly being aggressive to you without being obvious about it.
What they say could mean completely the opposite of what they feel, which can be very confusing to a lot of people. [Read: How to deal with passive aggressive behavior calmly & with class]
15. They Have to Have the Final Word
We know the phrase, that some people just love to have the last word. But with petty people, this is an obvious sign you have to live with 24/7. They always want to feel above or superior in any situation.
If you’re friends with a petty person or dating one *good luck with that*, then they’ll want to have the upper hand. In every argument or every power struggle, they have to win. The worst part? You have to let them.
16. There’s Just No Such Thing as Being the Bigger Person
Forgiveness? Empathy? Consideration? Nope. These aren’t things that a petty person knows. They want you to feel the same pain that they’ve gone through, even if it’s incredibly minor.
In fact, they might even double the pain just to seek revenge for the inconvenience and pain you caused them. You didn’t text back for a day? Expect them to avoid texting you for a week. That’s a petty person for you. [Read: Am I manipulative? 20 signs you clearly manipulate everyone around you]
17. They Get Mad About the Same Things
When dealing with a petty person, they often repeat the same things they get upset about. Whether it’s failing to respond to their text right away or liking someone else’s photos on social media, they always get offended by the same things even if they know the unavoidable reasons that caused the issue in the first place.
18. They Expect the World to Adjust to Them
With a petty person, it’s always about their needs and wants – never about anyone else’s. The people around them will constantly adjust to avoid any complications with a petty person, but they’ll never return this favor. [Read: Drama queen diva: 43 signs she’s one, causes & must-know tips to date her]
This is one of the most selfish signs of a petty person that unfortunately, they can’t do anything about – not unless they want to.
How to Deal With a Petty Person
Maybe it’s a friend, a family member, or a coworker you just can’t avoid. Dealing with a petty person can be frustrating and even exhausting at times.
But don’t worry—there are ways to handle the situation without letting it get the best of you. Here are ten strategies to help you navigate interactions with petty individuals.
1. Set Limits to Protect Yourself
First things first, it’s important to establish boundaries. Let the petty person know what behaviors you’re not willing to tolerate. For example, if they constantly bring up minor grievances, you can politely tell them you’d prefer to focus on more positive topics. [Read: 23 secrets to set personal boundaries & guide others to respect them]
Setting limits helps protect your own well-being and sends a clear message that you’re not engaging with their pettiness. This is a key step in dealing with the signs of a petty person.
2. Address Issues Calmly and Directly
When a petty person brings something up, try to respond calmly and directly. Avoid getting defensive or showing irritation, as this can escalate the situation.
You might say something like, “I understand you’re upset about this. How can we resolve it?” Keeping your cool can diffuse tension and show that you’re focused on solutions rather than the trivial issues they’re fixated on.
3. Don’t Stoop to Their Level
It might be tempting to respond to pettiness with more pettiness, but that usually doesn’t help. Engaging in the same behavior only fuels the fire.
Instead, maintain your integrity by acting maturely and respectfully. By not stooping to their level, you avoid getting dragged into unnecessary drama—one of the classic signs of a petty person. [Read: 44 stress-free ways to ignore someone & stop people from hurting you]
4. Understand the Underlying Causes of Their Behavior
Sometimes, understanding why someone is acting petty can make it easier to deal with them. They might be feeling insecure, stressed, or dealing with personal issues you don’t know about.
While this doesn’t excuse their behavior, it can help you approach the situation with a bit more empathy. Recognizing what makes a petty person act the way they do can inform your response.
5. Limit Your Interactions When Possible
If you can, try to reduce the amount of time you spend with the petty person. This isn’t always feasible, especially if they’re a coworker or close family member, but even small reductions can help. Less exposure means fewer opportunities for them to bring negativity into your day. It’s a practical way to protect yourself from the signs of a petty person.
6. Stay Positive and Focus on the Bigger Picture
Keeping a positive attitude can make a huge difference. When you focus on the bigger picture, the petty issues seem less significant.
Encourage conversations about goals, hobbies, or anything uplifting. Your positivity might even rub off on them, reducing their tendency to dwell on trivial matters. Knowing what a petty person is can help you steer interactions in a more positive direction. [Read: 45 secrets to be more positive & fill our mind with positive emotions 24/7]
7. Seek Support from Others
Don’t hesitate to talk to someone you trust about the situation. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or mentor, sharing your experience can provide relief and possibly some helpful advice. They might have dealt with similar people and can offer strategies that worked for them.
Just make sure the conversation stays constructive and doesn’t turn into gossip—that’s another sign of a petty person you want to avoid.
8. Practice Patience
Patience is key when dealing with pettiness. People don’t change overnight, and pushing them might make them dig in their heels even more.
Give them space and time, and try not to take their behavior personally. Your patience can help de-escalate situations and shows that you’re not easily rattled by minor provocations.
9. Encourage Open Communication
Sometimes, petty behavior is a sign that someone isn’t expressing their true feelings. Encourage them to share what’s really on their mind. You might say, “Is there something else bothering you?”
Open communication can lead to a better understanding between both of you and may address underlying issues that cause their petty behavior. This approach gets to the heart of what a petty person might be struggling with.
10. Know When to Walk Away
At the end of the day, you have to look out for yourself. If the petty behavior continues despite your best efforts, it might be time to distance yourself.
We don’t mean you have to cut them out of your life entirely, but minimizing contact can protect your mental and emotional health. Recognizing the signs of a petty person and knowing when to step back is essential for your well-being. [Read: Reasons to walk away: Guide to know when to burn bridges or rebuild them]
What If You’re the Petty Percy
So, we now know some ways to deal with a petty person, but what if you take a step back and realize that you might be the Petty Percy? Shocker! Don’t worry—acknowledging it is the first step toward positive change.
1. Acknowledge Your Behavior
First things first, it’s important to admit that you might be showing signs of a petty person. Reflect on your actions and consider whether you’ve been fixating on minor issues or overreacting to small slights.
Think back on how you talk and interact with others—do you often point out minor mistakes or hold onto grudges over small matters? Self-awareness is the foundation for any personal growth.
2. Understand the Root Causes
Try to dig deeper and understand why you’re acting this way. Is it due to insecurity, stress, or past experiences? Knowing the underlying reasons can help you address them directly.
Sometimes, understanding the signs of a petty person in yourself can lead to valuable insights about your emotional state.
3. Practice Self-Compassion
Be kind to yourself. Everyone has flaws, and beating yourself up won’t help. Accept that you’re human and that it’s okay to make mistakes. By practicing self-compassion, you’re more likely to let go of petty grievances and focus on what truly matters. [Read: How to be kind to yourself & others & love life instead of hating it]
4. Focus on the Bigger Picture
When you catch yourself sweating the small stuff, take a moment to step back. Ask yourself if this issue will matter next week or next month.
Shifting your perspective can help minimize petty thoughts and behaviors. Remember, part of understanding what a petty person is involves recognizing when small issues are overshadowing the bigger picture.
5. Improve Your Communication Skills
Open and honest communication can prevent misunderstandings that lead to pettiness. If something is bothering you, express it calmly and directly instead of letting it fester. Good communication can reduce the signs of a petty person by addressing issues before they escalate. [Read: 31 communication exercises & games for couples and secrets to feel closer]
6. Develop Emotional Intelligence
Work on recognizing and managing your emotions. This can help you respond to situations more thoughtfully rather than reacting impulsively. Higher emotional intelligence can decrease petty reactions and improve your interactions with others.
7. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness techniques like meditation or deep breathing can help you stay present and reduce stress. Being mindful makes it easier to let go of trivial matters that might otherwise bother you. It’s a useful tool for anyone looking to overcome the tendencies of a petty person.
8. Set Personal Goals
Redirect your focus toward personal growth and achievements. Setting and working toward goals can provide a sense of purpose and reduce the time you spend on insignificant issues. Achieving your goals can boost your confidence, making you less likely to engage in petty behavior. [Read: 28 self-improvement secrets to improve yourself & transform into your best self]
9. Seek Feedback from Trusted Friends
Sometimes, we can’t see ourselves clearly. Talk to friends or family members you trust and ask for their honest feedback. They might help you see patterns or signs of a petty person in your behavior that you hadn’t noticed. Constructive criticism can be a valuable tool for personal development.
10. Consider Professional Help
If you find it challenging to change on your own, seeking help from a counselor or therapist can be beneficial. They can provide strategies tailored to your situation and help you understand the root causes of your pettiness. Professional guidance can make a significant difference in overcoming the habits of a petty person.
The Damaging and Unhealthy Side of Being Around a Petty Person
A petty person never intends to make your life as miserable as it is. If it’s hard enough for strangers to meet someone petty, it’s even harder to stay friends with them.
Is being petty damaging? Yes and no. If it’s aimed towards you, it’s annoying, and upsetting, and you end up taking the blame for a million things that aren’t your fault. That in itself is unhealthy.
Even when not aimed at you, pettiness is a self-destructive trait that can ruin all your friendships and relationships. After all, who would want to stay friends with someone condescending and dramatic *unless you’re petty yourself*? [Read: The 25 types of bad friends you MUST unfriend from your life ASAP]
These signs of a petty person should also be taken lightly in some cases. We’re all guilty of throwing shade occasionally or being caught up in the drama. However, if it’s more than two or three of these, then that person might just be a petty person to a fault.
If someone goes out of their way to start drama and make things a bigger deal than it has to be, unfortunately, you’re dealing with someone petty.
Dealing With a Petty Person Can be Tough
Unfortunately, pettiness exists for reasons that we already talked about above. While we can’t change them, we can control how we respond and how we manage our own actions. Dealing with a petty person can be tough, but with the right approach, we can handle these situations without letting them drag us down.
[Read: Negative Nancy: What makes one, 18 traits & ways to deal with their attitude]
Remember, understanding what is a petty person helps us recognize the signs of a petty person in our lives, whether it’s someone else or even ourselves. By staying mindful and making positive changes, we can foster better relationships and create a more positive environment for everyone involved.
