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Threesome Sex or Three Times the Trouble?

Threesome sex is in a league of its own. It’s not a fetish, but it’s not acceptable either. And while we sneer at threesomes on the outside, all of us want to do it, at least in our minds. So are threesomes tempting or are they just trouble?

threesome sex troubles

Threesome sex. The fantasy of every man and the not-such-a-fantasy of some women.

While a great sex life is carnally gratifying and exhilarating, sometimes, we all need a bit of a fetish to keep our jollies up.

And could there be anything more fun that involving a third hottie into bed? [Read: How to start swinging]

Even if you haven’t succumbed to the lure of a threesome, I’m sure you’ve given it a thought. Haven’t you, you little perv?

There’s something about threesome sex that’s exciting and at the same time, forbidding.

In the 90’s, any talk about sex associated with three people was totally taboo. No one wanted to hear about it. But back in the 70’s, it was the rage, what with all the flower power, key parties, swing nights and the invention of LSD. [Read: Types of fetishes]

But threesome sex is in fashion again. We’re going back to the shagathons of the Romans, and we’re lovin’ it.

These days, it’s an open affair. Everyone wants to experience life on the wild side. And if you’ve done it already, I hope you had a great time!

Threesome sex and trouble

Threesomes are confusing affairs unless you’ve got a right head on your mind. [Read: Having an affair with a married man]

As much as there’s a chance that you’d have a great time, there are a few times when you know nothing’s going to go right.

My first girlfriend, I’m guessing, was bisexual. She wanted to have a threesome with me and her girlfriend. I refused. I was 21. I was too scared. Two years and three girlfriends later, I spent an entire night booting myself for having lost that opportunity! I learnt the hard way that not all my girlfriends actually were very interested in threesomes, especially when I wanted another woman, not a man, in bed with us.

But, what the hell, every dog has its day. I had my day thrice!!

Why is threesome sex hot?

Now, not everyone may share this opinion, but most people do. A threesome is hot, because it’s like tasting the forbidden fruit without actually stepping into the forbidden garden.

A few years into making out with each other and things can get quite monotonous. Well, there are other ways to bring back the oomph,  [Read: Fun on the beach] but for some, a threesome works just as fine. A threesome isn’t for everyone, and however appealing it may seem, it can have its bad impacts unless you’re really ready for it.

Do you really want to have a threesome?

The big question, do you really want to do this in the first place? You may have a crush on someone else, and think a threesome is the best way to have that fling without actually walking out on your mate.

Or let’s just say, your man’s friend is staying over at your place, and you’ve always had the hots for him. Trying to have a threesome just to satisfy your sexual needs isn’t really a good reason to do it. Instead, you can try dirty talking in bed instead. Of course, carnal pleasure is the most important excuse to have a threesome, but are you doing this at the cost of the relationship?

You can definitely have a threesome, but only if both of you want to do it, to experiment and try new things in bed. Never use threesomes only to have sex with someone you’ve always wanted. You may end up forgetting that your own lover is naked on the same bed, and devote yourself to the other person alone!

What’s your motive?

It is said that men love ménage à  trois, a.k.a. threesomes a lot more than women, but more recently the balance has been tilting to equal favor and women are quite open to a fling thing with their mate.

But at times, lovers and partners tend to get selfish. They try to push their reluctant partners to have threesome sex when they don’t really want to do it.

It may just be a selfish power trip, trying to convince a partner to do what you want to do. On the other hand, it’s just a way to have an affair without actually coming across a circumstance when the person could get caught. If your motive is to have an affair with someone without the guilty conscience, it may not be for you.

A threesome should be about sharing each other and giving equal priority to all three involved. Agreeing to take part in a threesome to breathe life back into a failing relationship, to bring sexy back in love, or to stop your partner from leaving you, is probably going to backfire.

Damn, you shouldn’t have done that!

Normally, threesome sex is indulged in, by people who are in long term committed relationships. And normally, problems arise in these kinds of circumstances. If you’re still in college, having fun, with no steady mate, a threesome could just be a fun time, with happy memories.

But when a third person is brought into the long-term relationship, to share the same bed and the same partner you’ve been sharing for so long, things can get awkward.

If you’re having a threesome with a third woman, your woman wouldn’t be able to stop thinking if this is what you actually wanted. To have sex with another girl, using the pretext of a threesome. If you’re a guy, and there’s another guy in bed pounding your woman, you may not like this new man, who got to have sex with your woman, just after a brief talk! Either ways, a threesome leaves a lot of room for doubt and sad, sad thoughts.

When jealousy rears its head

Jealousy always affects a couple that’s trying to have a threesome. Insecure thoughts will torment both of you, if sex hasn’t been good for a while, but becomes mind blowing after the arrival of the third person.

“Is my partner not interested in me anymore?” “Am I just a scapegoat stuck in the middle of these two lusty lovers?” “She wants him with us because he’s better looking and has a bigger member than me?” “He’s kissing her a lot more than he’s kissing me, is he falling for her?” These are just a few of the innumerable thoughts that can race around both your heads, if you involve a third person into your bed.

The worst threesome move

There are many couples who’ve experimented with threesome sex and ended up in other people’s beds behind each other’s backs! There is a good chance that this could happen to you, especially if both of you aren’t physically attracted to each other anymore.

Worse, you may also get to know that your loving mate is actually gay or lesbian and used this excuse to hook up on a threesome, just to satisfy themselves. Of course, you’d know that only much later. When your presence is the last thing they want in bed! Or you could fall for a person you’re swinging with. What are you going to do? Break up because you wanted to have a bit more fun in bed? [Read: Emotional affairs]

Finding the third without crowding the bed

If you’re certain that you’re really in love with each other and you’re still having a great sex life, then maybe, just maybe a threesome could turn out to be a good experiment. So how do you go about it?

To indulge in a successful ménage à  trois, you need to know the real rules of threesome sex.

Now there are no hard and fast rules, but a few guidelines can definitely help you have a great time.

The ground rules of ménage à  trois

To actually enact a fantasy like a ménage à  trois, you need a third person who’s willing to share the bed with you.

It’s usually preferable to involve someone who’s not a friend or a co-worker. I mean, really, what if your partner and your friend end up meeting often and have sex without you?!

But then again, if it’s trust and safety that you care about while having a threesome, you could use a good friend that you know will not let the word spread. [Read: How to have sex with a friend]

Comfort is the key to a good ménage à  trois.

But if you want to make sure it’s a secret that you and your partner take to the grave, take off on a vacation [Read: Fun on the beach], and find a good looker who’s ready for both of you! But one word of caution, never ever take someone whom you or your mate works with. The word will spread and/or the ménage à  trois will turn into an affair!

In bed with the third person

Now whenever you’re involving another person in bed with you and your own lover, the rules are simple and almost always the same. You can read the rules for swinging to know everything you need to follow while involving a third friend in bed.

After the ménage à  trois

After you guys orgasm, let’s admit it, things are going to feel weird in bed. There you three are, lying in bed, and wondering what next!

If there’s just three singles involved, then by all means, stay back. There can always be another round in a while! But the best thing to do here is split up if there’s a couple involved. The couple stays together, and the single leaves.

For the couple, this is the time to talk about it, and cuddle up. If you haven’t realized it already, you’ve just banged another person while your mate was watching! So let your mate know that you’re still in love, and that was just sex. Great sex, of course! And another word of advice, don’t fall in love with the third person. It can happen. In most cases, it always does. Avoid contact unless it’s sex on your mind.

The three rules of threesomes

Are there any specific rules to have a threesome? Can there ever be one? Of course, there are. A threesome isn’t as simple as it seems. It’s not just the bang-bang followed by scampering.

Threesomes can, at times, emotionally hurt a lot more than an external affair. So use these three important rules each time you decide to bring in a third mate.

Threesome Rule One – Ground rules

Always have ground rules before you enter a ménage à  trois. You don’t want your man to penetrate into the other woman, let him know that it’s off limits. You want the third person to leave as soon as the sex is over, let it be told. You may only end up feeling uncomfortable if you close your eyes and open them to see your woman kissing another man.

So whatever pisses you off or makes you feel awkward, apply ground rules and let all three of you know when things are going overboard. Remember, you do want to have happy times, not frustrated ones, after doing the deed.

Threesome Rule Two – Pleasure up

Everyone’s in it for their own pleasure, when you’re involved in a ménage à  trois. But that doesn’t mean you should finish yourself up and sit down against the bed-post pouting and sulking about the crowded bed. Slow your pace and see that all the three involved are excited to be there. Even if your body is over one person, you still have your hands free, don’t you?

Try your best to see that all three of you climax almost together. If you can pull that off, you’ve got the ménage à  trois thing going really smooth!

Threesome Rule Three – Play Safe

This is a good one, and one that shouldn’t be overlooked. All three of you may be safe and clean off STDs, but there could be a good chance that one of you could be having a symptom that is in the dormant stage.

You don’t want things to go from good to bad, and bad to worse. So while having a threesome, make sure you stock a good pile of condoms on the bedside. Each time the man penetrates another woman, the condoms have to be replaced. And if you’re using hands, restrict one hand to each person’s privates, so you don’t play a part in the transmission. There may be no problems in the first place, but prevention is always way better than getting a disease with no cure, right?

[Read: How to start swinging]

Ménage à  trois Pop Quiz

Q. Can you do this or think about it when you’re not horny?

A. If you can’t, then give up on the thought. You’re still not ready for it!

Ménage à  trois Pop Quiz

Q. Do both of you talk about having threesome sex, or is it just one if you?

A. If it’s just one of you, sorry, you guys still aren’t ready!

Having a ménage à  trois can be fun and exciting. It can also increase the sizzle in bed, just as long as you understand how to have a threesome and follow the right threesome rules to play a safe game.

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