Many people want to be in a committed relationship, but not everyone knows how to make it happen. Learning how to show commitment in a relationship is vital to any healthy relationship. But to understand how to make a committed relationship work, first, let’s clear up what exactly ‘commitment’ is.
The term is defined as “an interpersonal relationship based upon a mutually agreed-upon commitment to one another involving love, trust, honesty, openness, or some other agreed-upon behavior.”
Essentially, a commitment in a relationship is a form of guarantee a person looks for from a significant other. It is the mutual assurance that their significant other will be a part of their life in the future.
Additionally, commitment implies consistent effort into making the relationship work despite any challenges and giving unwavering affection through the years. Sounds nice, right?
Knowing that your partner is committed to you encourages you to invest your whole life in that relationship and vice versa. But if you don’t know what commitment in a relationship looks like, you could hold yourself back and prevent the relationship from progressing.
The unfortunate thing about life is that we don’t always find ourselves happy in love, no matter how much we want to. Some relationships may be downright toxic. When it comes to finding happiness in love, commitment is everything. [Read: Signs he wants to be exclusive and committed to only you]
Finding someone you want to be committed and dedicated to is the most beautiful experience in the world.
After all, commitment means that no matter what happens, they’re the person you choose to be by your side. It means for better or for worse, you choose to love them against all odds. And what’s beautiful about that is your partner also chooses you over all else.
So, as you can see, committed relationships are meaningful because this is the person you venture through everything in life with – both good and bad. They’re your lover, your best friend, your support system, your crutch.
Compare this with jumping from one person to the next, a committed relationship can never compare. [Read: What Is commitment in a relationship & how to know if you have it?]
While it’s natural to feel a little unsure at the start of a relationship, a continuation of those feelings can lead to significant insecurity issues, trust problems, and jealousy. All of those are incredibly unhealthy for your intimate relationship.
But sometimes, you just can’t help thinking all sorts of doubtful thoughts when your relationship is just getting started. When things are new, it’s hard to find security without asking.
But you never want to ask because you don’t want them to think you don’t trust them. It’s normal to doubt, but this is why it’s essential to look for the signs of commitment so that you don’t constantly ask them if they’re actually committed to you. [Read: What is commitment in a relationship – and how to know if you have it]
This helps you get some form of assurance in your relationship that you’re not the only one invested or you’re not the only one taking a big leap of faith. After all, why settle for someone not committed like you are?
So what do you do? If you’re eager to look for signs of what is considered a committed relationship or partner, don’t miss any bit of this feature. [Read: Types of toxic relationships to watch out for]
Commitment is a complex concept to understand at first. But as you progress in your relationship, you’ll find that there are simple ways to show that you are seriously committed to this relationship. If you’re unsure if your partner is as committed as you, you can also use this list to compare their actions to what should be expected of a committed partner.
Attention, love, and loyalty serve as the lifeblood of every relationship. If you feel ready to spend the rest of your life with a person, learn how to sustain these three important aspects of the relationship.
Attention, devotion, and loyalty make the other person feel that they’re the only person you want by your side. By exhibiting these, you show your commitment. [Read: These healthy relationship expectations will define a good love life]
Acts of remembrance may seem so superficial, but small gestures such as celebrating your first date, your first argument, or your first purchase as a couple shows that you place high importance on the progress of your relationship.
In fact, these silly little celebrations may prove to be much more meaningful than your anniversaries. It shows you place great importance on those simple moments of your life as a couple. [Read: 25 love-filled ways to express your appreciation to someone you love]
Long-term relationships always face complacency and dull moments. Gestures that swept your partner off their feet during the early years lose their effect as you continue to spend more time together.
If you’re wondering how to show your commitment to a relationship, prioritize keeping things exciting and interesting. Come up with fresh and creative ways to show your appreciation so that your gestures of appreciation never become stale.
The key here is to push yourself out of your comfort zone. Surprise your partner in ways you have never tried before.
This way, you provide a concrete reminder of your commitment to making your partner feel special and loved. [Read: 67 sweet yet small romantic gestures that show love in the biggest ways]
One of the important foundations of a relationship is spending quality time together.
It is normal to encounter new responsibilities that may take some of their time as your relationship matures, but no matter how busy your days become, it’s imperative that you always allot time to spend with your partner.
Make that time a permanent fixture of your schedule. It shows you prioritize your partner despite all the other responsibilities that demand your time and attention. [Read: How to have a good relationship that gets better with each day]
A relationship takes a lot of time and energy to build. Just because you commit to a relationship doesn’t mean you can go weeks without seeing them *unless you’re unable to due to work, school, etc.*. Committing to a relationship means you want to invest your time into it.
Learning how to show exclusivity in a relationship is about learning to place your partner’s interests above your own, which is probably the ultimate gesture of love and commitment.
People tend to find it hard to give up their pride, their workaholic habits, or the ability to pursue their interests for the sake of their partner.
But rest assured that if you do make sacrifices for the sake of your partner, they will recognize that you are committed to the relationship, be it skipping out on your lunch break to run an errand or giving them your favorite candy bar because you know they like it. [Read: 15 traits that set selfless love apart from selfish love]
Attention to detail translates directly to deep affection for your partner.
From common aspects, such as the way they like their food cooked, the mix ratio of their favorite cocktail, the way they like to sleep, and the kind of vacations they want, to serious ones, such as signs of distress or emotional disturbance, will help you interact with and take care of them better.
Pride is excess baggage in a relationship. It is often the cause of conflict and is detrimental to effective communication between two partners.
Keep your pride in check to show you are committed to a relationship. Too much personal pride is a sign of selfishness, and selfishness is counterintuitive to commitment. [Read: Learn how to stop being selfish and hurting others unintentionally]
People have different ways of expressing their love and affection.
How your partner perceives a gesture as an act of love may be different from your perception. And the way you express your love may be interpreted differently by your partner. [Read: 8 ways to build a stronger emotional connection]
It is essential to learn what your partner’s love language is. Communicate your love in a language that your partner understands. Doing this shows commitment to understanding your partner. [Read: 17 secret ingredients to a happy, monogamous relationship]
This begins on the day you introduce your significant other to your parents and family members. From there, you can include your partner in family gatherings and celebrations to let them experience what your family life is like.
Making your partner an active part of your family life will make them feel welcome and as important to you as your family. This assures them of your confidence that they will receive your family’s approval.
You open them to the possibility of actually becoming part of the family as well. [Read: 18 signs it’s time and ways to prepare your partner to meet your family]
If your partner knows that they are present in your future together, they will feel that you have decided to be a permanent part of their life.
It could be as simple as deciding to move to a place where your partner works or even making career choices that will allow you to spend more time together. [Read: 25 best relationship topics to talk about if you want to be happy]
Giving your partner an active role in making important life decisions with you also reveals to your partner that you know how to show commitment in a relationship.
By consulting with them or seeking their thoughts or opinions before making decisions, you show that you value their presence and say in your life.
It shows that you completely trust their influence on the outcome of your decisions, whatever the result may be. [Read: What is commitment in a relationship and how to know if you have it]
Everyone has different needs and priorities.
One common example is the decision to move in together. Everyone has different needs in terms of where they live, how close they are to work or family, the kind of lifestyle that location lends to, and even little things like decorative preferences.
It’s unlikely that you two will completely agree on everything. But if you’re both willing to be open and compromise in order to make important, life-changing decisions for your relationship, it shows that you are prepared and interested in having a life together.
Start with simple decisions such as vacations or planning parties to give you the hang of it.
In the long run, this teamwork practice will help you get used to a future life as a couple if you both decide to settle down. [Read: 30 must-follow relationship rules for happy love]
Do you have a key to everything in their place? If you do, they’re definitely wholly committed to you, and vice versa if you’ve given them a key.
This has a lot to do with trust and comfort and the fact that they want you to feel at home at their place. Most people look for this as one of the biggest signs of commitment to one another to know if they’re going somewhere.
Can you go on over, open the place with your own key, and kick back while munching on their food? If so, you’re in a very healthy, committed relationship.
If they made you feel uncomfortable about all of those things, it would be a red flag. But if they’re fine with it, they’re committed to you. [Read: Signs you’re getting too comfortable with each other]
What better way to show commitment in a relationship than building a home together? Building a home doesn’t simply mean moving in together. It also requires adjusting your lifestyle and changing the way you spend your time.
Make domestic life with your partner possible. Reaching this stage in your relationship only means that both partners are committed to spending their life together for good.
In a healthy relationship between two people, both people look at mutually meeting the other’s needs. What does your partner need in a relationship? What do you need from a relationship?
Commitment isn’t just saying you’ll be with them; it’s also about working towards making the relationship as best it can be. [Read: Understanding the characteristics of a healthy relationship and say goodbye to the shitty ones]
If you want to know how to show commitment in a relationship, then there is no room for selfishness. You have to put your partner’s needs at least equal to – if not before – your own. [Read: How to compromise in a relationship and not feel like you lost out]
You need to care about what they want and then act upon it. Stop being selfish and putting yourself first if you want a good partnership. At the same time, meeting your needs should be your partner’s priority, too.
Relationships are like plants. If you don’t water a plant and take care of it, then it will die. Well, relationships are no different. They need to be tended to and nurtured.
So, you have to do nice things for your partner and put in a lot of effort to be supportive and loving if you’re both serious about making it work. [Read: 17 signs of a supportive partner who encourages you and your goals]
When you are in a committed relationship, then you merge lives with your partner. In other words, their friends, family, co-workers, and anyone else important in their life will have to be a part of yours too.
You can no longer live “separate” lives because when you are committed, you share everything – even the people in your life.
With relationships comes conflict, and this is completely normal. When two people want to be together, there’s going to be friction and disagreements. [Read: How to resolve conflict – the 15 best ways to cut out the drama]
But commitment is knowing that this will happen and understanding you’ll need to work out the issues rather than walking away.
When you’re serious about your partner, you will see yourself as a team. Instead of seeing them as the “enemy” when you have an argument, you work together as a couple and find solutions that are the best for both of you. You communicate well and can work through any conflict. [Read: Relationship arguments – 27 dos and don’ts to remember]
If you want to know how to show commitment in a relationship, then you have to be empathetic. This means that you have to see any situation from your partner’s perspective.
Even if you don’t agree with them, you have to let them know that you are trying to see their point of view. Empathy and trying to see the world through your partner’s perspective shows that you’re truly committed to making this relationship work, and your partner will see that. [Read: How to show empathy and learn to understand someone else’s feelings]
Sure, everyone’s lives are busy, and we all have a lot of commitments. So, because of this, everyone has to prioritize things and people in their lives.
And in a committed relationship, each person will have their partner at the top of their priority list – no questions asked. This means you prioritize their happiness, their success, maintaining the quality of your relationship, and spending quality time together.
In a good, healthy relationship, there is no room for lies and deception. Instead, each person is open and honest with the other one.
Lies and deception are clear giveaways that someone isn’t committed to a relationship.
So, a good and happy couple doesn’t keep any secrets and are open books because they have nothing to hide. [Read: Is monogamy for you? How to know what you want and need in a relationship]
Listening is crucial to a healthy relationship. If someone doesn’t listen to what you’re saying, then that person is effectively saying that you aren’t important to them.
So, if you really want to show commitment in a relationship, you need to learn to be a good listener. [Read: 19 ways to be a better listener in a relationship]
You need to be a person of your word. If you say you’re going to do something, then follow through and do it.
You can’t be flakey and unpredictable. That is not a good way to show your partner that you are committed to them – actually, it does the opposite.
Flakiness shows that you aren’t prioritizing them as much as you should in a committed relationship, so by being dependable, you’re telling your partner that you’re here for the long haul.
Everyone likes to feel good about themselves, right? So, another way to show commitment in your relationship is to compliment and praise your partner. Tell them that you are proud of them and that they are sexy. They should never forget just how you feel about them.
When two people are genuinely committed to one another, they always spend major holidays together. As much as possible, they also try to combine their families so they can all celebrate together. [Read: Should you spend the holidays together? Or is it too soon?]
When a couple is in a relationship for a long time, they learn everything about each other. They know their favorite food, how their childhood was, and what they want their future to look like.
Every good couple knows one another very well. So, demonstrate that you know the little things about your partner. Bring home a bouquet of their favorite flowers, or cook them their favorite meal. Show that you listen and care. [Read: 60 deep and fun get-to-know-you questions to peek into your partner’s soul]
Having deep conversations shows that you are bonding with your partner. Emotional bonding is crucial to a committed relationship.
Share your innermost thoughts and secrets with your partner and encourage them to do the same. [Read: Committed relationship rules to make your love last a lifetime]
Someone who truly cares about you and wants to be with you is going to let you know. They’ll talk about how much they like you or how happy they are with you as a way to show their commitment to the relationship.
The more they express their feelings for you, the more secure you can feel knowing they genuinely care.
Expressing your love for them regularly through words or actions is one of the most beautiful signs of a committed relationship. Don’t ever neglect this. [Read: Sweet and intimate ways someone shows they care]
Instead of just telling your partner that you care, actively show them every day. When people are committed, they do the little things that most people may not think of, like bringing you coffee in the morning or picking up your favorite snack while they are out.
The more they show it, the more it should make you feel at ease. So doing the same for your partner will breed a trusting and loving environment in which committed relationships thrive in. [Read: 15 signs of a healthy relationship that keep couples happy & in love]
When someone is fully committed, they think about you a lot. And this is evident in their actions.
They’ll bring home medicine when you’re not feeling good or pick up your favorite chips while grocery shopping. If you do the same, it’s the little things that’ll show your commitment. [Read: 25 of the sweetest and most thoughtful gestures for everyday life]
Getting your family involved is another way to show your commitment to a relationship.
Depending on how long you’ve been together, your family members have probably come into play. Unless you live really far away from them, someone who is fully committed will want you to interact with their family. [Read: Do you actually want a partner, or are you just feeling lonely?]
So, if you’re making plans to introduce your partner to your family, or if it’s already happened, your partner will see how serious you are. Perhaps, this is one of the most prominent signs of a committed relationship there is, and if you happened to both meet each other’s family, there’s a good chance you’ll each become a part of it in the future.
Even if your relationship isn’t ancient, talking about making a significant purchasing decision is a huge deal. Your finances may not be combined at this point, but committed partners will want to get their significant other’s thoughts on how they spend their money.
When you seek your partner’s input on purchasing a car or even taking home a dog, it shows that you really care about what they have to say.
It means you respect their opinion and you’re fully committed. [Read: 50 Questions for a new relationship to predict your romantic future]
Even if you’re dating someone new, making plans together to go on holiday can even be a considerable sign things are going great. And if you’ve already been away today, that’s even better!
Going away together and having that time to bond is crucial and means you’re both committed. Going on a trip together is an intimate thing that only committed couples do.
So, if you’re already making plans, it should be clear on both sides how committed you two are! [Read: Vacation ideas for couples to feel closer instantly]
Again, this might depend from couple to couple and on how long you’ve been together, but if it’s been a couple of months, you should be comfortable enough to talk about this stuff. If you’re not bonding enough to get there, it could be an issue.
It’s all about how comfortable you are. The more you spend time together and bond, the closer you become. And this bond is how you commit to each other more and more.
How do you go through these kinds of topics with your partner? Do you feel weird or not? If not, then this could be one of the signs of a committed relationship. [Read: Communication techniques to finally get them to open up to you]
This might sound weird, but after a few months, couples who are committed to each other usually settle into some sort of routine. They have breakfast together before work and have dinner together when they can.
So, if you’re in a committed relationship, your life will have settled into a comfortable sort of routine that you’re both happy with.
This means date nights and regularly scheduled TV show-watching nights. Over time, you’ll form habits based on each other. [Read: Quick and easy morning routines to jumpstart a successful day]
It’s not that your relationship is becoming boring, but you’re settling into a life with one another. That’s true love.
Whenever you feel insecure, your partner will reassure you calmly and confidently. That’s what a committed partner does. They don’t get defensive or call you crazy.
They simply tell you they’re in it for good, and that’s it. You don’t want to be in a relationship where you get all defensive all the time, right? [Read: Jealous type: How to reassure and win over a super jealous lover]
If you aren’t reassuring your partner and instead are jumping to defensiveness, how will your partner know that you’re committed to them?
If anything occurs in their personal life, you, as their committed partner, should go all out to celebrate along with them. As long as you’ve got a good reason to celebrate, you should be right there with your partner.
One of the best signs of a committed relationship is having a good partner who can cheer for you as you go through life and make sure you know how great you are.
After all, if you celebrate their joyous moments with them, they will see that you’re treating their successes as important as your own. Talk about commitment! [Read: Trust issues in a relationship – 22 whys and ways to get over it together]
If a person isn’t interested in you, their goals will show it. Committed people don’t just state they’ll meet each other soon.
They develop a specific plan to do it, so you know what to expect from them. Consistency is one of the most crucial ways to show commitment in a relationship since it shows that the person cares about you. So don’t be stingy with the plans.
You can tell if the person you’re with is comfortable and confident around you when they talk to you about their goals, desires, and anxieties. [Read: Weird, unique ways to build intimacy with your partner]
In an interview with HuffPost, Dr. Gross said about a committed partner that “He wants to be with you night and day and reveal the deepest aspects of himself.” Make it clear to them that they can confide in you and be open and honest with you, and open up to them as well. This vulnerability will speak volumes about your commitment.
If someone is willing to share their inner thoughts with you, chances are they are also ready to be themselves in your presence. If both of you can connect on a deeper level, this could be one of the most beautiful signs of a committed relationship to hold on to forever.
When you have a problem, do you both try to work things out? Will you express how you feel and what you wish to improve?
When you’re in a committed relationship, you can count on the other person to keep going even when things get tough. If you’re not actively showing your partner this, they may not feel the extent of your commitment to them. [Read: 18 secrets to get through a rough patch in a relationship and grow closer]
This can be about anything. In fact, it’s even more of a great sign when you can talk to each other about basically nothing but chat for hours. It indeed shows just how much you two enjoy each other’s company.
What subjects do you like talking about with your partner on a late phone call? Do you not run out of topics to talk about? [Read: A guide on effective communication in a relationship]
When you’re in a committed relationship, it’s no longer you. Of course, there’s you, but now you have someone else to care for.
Your partner. Now, instead of talking about what “I” want and what “I” need, you talk about “we.” Now that is a perfect way to have a fulfilling relationship.
Whether it’s an exclusive or open relationship, whatever you arrange, a committed person doesn’t cheat on their partner. As they say, a good relationship is built on a solid foundation of trust.
In polyamorous relationships, there are certain rules people agree to when dating other people, and if you break those rules, you break the trust. So, cheating, in any form, is a no-no. [Read: Micro-cheating – what it is and signs you’re unintentionally doing it]
And finally, communicating is one of the most important ways to show commitment in a relationship. Being in a committed relationship isn’t just about having a boyfriend or girlfriend. To have a healthy relationship, you need to communicate.
Commitment isn’t just about not cheating on them; it’s very layered. When you commit to someone, you’re opening up to them and showing vulnerability. [Read: How to be vulnerable in a relationship and feel closer]
Many people get into committed partnerships with the fairy-tale notion that love is enough to sustain them, but that’s idealistic bullshit.
If you have no clue what we’re talking about, here’s a list of some of the most common challenges faced by committed couples.
This should give you an idea of what to expect should you decide that it is time for you and your partner to take your relationship to the next level. [Read: 20 sure signs you’re either totally prepared for a relationship… or not]
When you have been with the same person for years, it isn’t very surprising that you will eventually get bored.
Listening to the same jokes and losing that sense of mystery will turn something that was once passionate into something repetitive. [Read: 15 reasons why most couples get bored with their relationship over time]
From lunch-break sex at the office to surprise gifts, new relationships somehow boast more of these little fissures than long-term ones.
It’s not that couples in long-term relationships make less of an effort. It’s more that once you build a life together, you share more serious responsibilities and tend to have less time for the so-called frivolous things.
Even so, making time for the little things is very important and should be indulged in every so often. [Read: Questions to ask yourself before you decide to get married]
Say you meet someone at a work thing, and you hit it off. One drink leads to another, and you know that the person you’re chatting with will gladly go home with you.
Thing is, you already have someone waiting for you at home, and you know that even the thought of cheating is wrong.
You have too much to lose, making the itch not worth scratching. Oh, how different committed life is compared to singledom. [Read: Vital steps that’ll help you resist the temptation to cheat]
After being with someone for so long, it is only normal that you think about this big, beautiful world of ours, and you wonder if you made the right choice. This usually happens when you unwittingly meet someone you click with.
It’ll have you wondering about being with A, yet you click so well with B, so who’s to say that A truly is the right one for you?
The same can be said about the life choices you made together. Was settling down in the suburbs the right thing to do when you could have both traveled the world instead? [Read: Emotional cheating vs. friendship – the point when a line is crossed]
There is no denying that people in committed relationships tend to let their minds drift off and entertain “what if” scenarios.
What if I hadn’t proposed to her? What if I didn’t have kids with him? What if I didn’t give up my career to move to Seoul with him? What if we didn’t agree to buy the house?
Although some may argue the contrary, it is unhealthy to envision another life that somehow seems more appealing than your real one. [Read: 16 signs you’re settling in a relationship that’s not good enough for you]
Whether there is too much or not enough in a relationship, money undoubtedly creates a myriad of problems for everyone involved. It is no longer a matter of “my money, your money” but is now “our money.”
It is hard enough making financial decisions alone, let alone with your partner, who may have a whole different set of priorities and opinions.
It isn’t uncommon for people to realize midway that they don’t want what they’re striving so hard for. For example, many couples get married, buy a house, have kids, and so on. [Read: 50 questions to instantly test your relationship compatibility]
It is not uncommon for one spouse to wake up one morning and realize that they don’t want kids or don’t want to go into debt buying a house. Once your shared goals change, that’s when problems crop up.
Whether it is not being more delicate with your partner’s feelings or forgetting the little things like birthdays and anniversaries, there is no denying that what used to be super important at the start of your relationship carries less weight now.
One of the joys of being single or in a new relationship is that you were allowed to be as selfish as you wanted to be. [Read: Being signal vs. in a relationship – 18 pros, cons, and things you MUST know]
You could move to Nepal and climb a mountain, quit your high-paying job and work for a nonprofit, or fall off the grid and live together with hippies in a commune.
However, now that you’ve committed yourself to someone, you’re responsible for their feelings, all the way to their well-being. It is no longer just about you anymore.
Most couples in committed relationships end up having kids.
Whether you wanted them wholeheartedly or just decided to be a part of the convention, there is no denying that children bring on a whole other level of added stress and inconvenience into a relationship. [Read: Signs to know for sure if both of you are ready for kids]
Some relationships simply can’t take the added pressure of children. And although that’s not to say that kids will be your downfall, both of you need to be absolutely sure that you want them.
Another big challenge faced by those in committed relationships is communication. As the years go by, you’re probably more in tune with each other than way back in the day.
The years together have probably allowed you to read between the lines, understand your partner’s moods, and memorize their likes and dislikes. [Read: Lack of communication in a relationship and why it signals the end]
As sweet and natural as this is, this is where the problem lies. You assume that you know each other so well that you inadvertently stop communicating.
The thing about commitment is that you’re now a twosome instead of a single entity. You will have to accept that you will have way less privacy and “me” time.
You have to explain yourself every time you make plans to head out.
Whether it’s going out for ladies’ night with your friends or off on a trip for work, you always have to let your partner know where you’re off to and what you’re doing. [Read: 25 must-follow rules for a happy and successful relationship]
We do this because it’s about caring for one another and wanting to know what the other is up to, which is part and parcel of being in a committed relationship.
The biggest problem that couples in committed relationships face is knowing that it isn’t easy to call it quits. After you’ve spent years building a life with this person, it is not simple to pack up and walk out the door.
There are kids to think about, joint assets, financial issues, and a shit ton of paperwork to sort out before you can legally call it quits. [Read: Painful stages of heartbreak and grief all of us go through after a breakup]
Not just that, but the turmoil and trauma of going through a breakup with someone you chose to spend your life with is not easy to do.
That’s why many people want to stay married even if they’re unhappy. The trick is finding someone whom you can still love and cherish even after the flames of newfound passion have died down.
[Read: Relationship stages all couples go through]
While chemistry serves at the beginning of a relationship, commitment makes it permanent. Learn how to show commitment in a relationship and make your partner feel secure and more loved.
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