New relationships leave your head spinning for more reasons than one. In fact, the thrill of new love leads to a lot of conflicting emotions. Butterflies in your stomach, nerves, flirty texts, and feeling that amazing sensation as your emotional connection slowly grows into something more. New relationships, am I right?
Opposites may attract with nothing in common, but an emotional connection is still an absolute must when it comes to keeping the fire alive in your relationship. So why is having an emotional connection so important? Sure, being ridiculously attracted to your crush doesn’t hurt either, but looks fade. An emotional connection? That sticks around.
Whether you’re in a new relationship or are rekindling one you’ve been in for years, we’re looking at eight ways to create an emotional connection with your partner. [Read: How to have a long term relationship that lasts]
Dos and don’ts of creating an emotional connection
When it comes to creating a bond with your new love, there are definitely some guidelines to live by. If you’re trying to create an emotional connection in a new relationship, here are some dos and don’ts you might want to consider.
#1 Bond over interests and experiences. Easier said than done, right? This may not be an issue for couples who both enjoy working out, playing video games, watching sports, and cooking together.
But what about the rest? If you and your mate are truly opposites, try bonding over something new together. *Think: wine/painting nights, traveling together, bungee jumping, escape rooms, or skinny dipping!* Not only will this experience of sharing something new together create fun memories, but it also bonds you emotionally. [Read: Couples bucket list: 20 things every couple needs to do]
Don’t believe us? The Association for Psychological Science did a study of 23 female college students who were asked to sample chocolate. First with a partner and the second time alone. The findings revealed when the girls were in pairs they reported enjoying the chocolate more than when they were chomping down solo.
#2 Don’t be shallow. It’s easy to feel like you have chemistry with someone who you’re physically attracted to. That said, don’t be overly shallow with your partner. Yeah, they’re good looking, but that doesn’t make a lasting relationship. Go beyond the superficial and get to know your new partner deep down. This helps you build an emotional connection to who they are, not what they look like.
#3 Have sex! We really don’t have to give you the list as to why sex is awesome for your relationship, but we’re going to anyway. Having sex is a stress reliever, it’s fun, it releases feel-good endorphins, it lowers blood pressure, burns calories, and not to mention… sex is a fantastic way to create an emotional connection.
This is because of that ever talked about super-drug, oxytocin! This little hormone releases from the brain and creates a bond of love and trust between partners. Interestingly, Dr. Daniel Amen suggests in his book that this limbic, emotional bonding is part of the reason friends with benefits never works. The bond has already begun! [Read: How important is sex in a relationship: The truth revealed]
#4 Don’t take without giving. We’ve all had that one friend or partner who only calls you up so they can talk about themselves, their lives, and their problems. Two hours later you hang up the phone and realize you’ve barely said a word! It’s exhausting. The lesson? You want your partner to feel uplifted by you. This creates an emotional connection, and they view you as someone who is giving, not draining. [Read: 12 signs you’re being selfish in your relationship]
#5 Share in spirituality. Psychology Today suggests adding spirituality into your relationship creates an extra layer of love, kindness, and respect. Whether you have your own religion or not, bringing a form of spirituality you are comfortable with adds a whole new level of emotional bonding into your relationship.
Reading the Bible together and applying its principles regarding marriage, praying together, asking one another what you believe are the answers to life’s biggest questions *what happens when you die, how did we get here, etc.* and indulging in the spirituality of nature and grand sights creates a heavenly emotional connection.
#6 Don’t fight dirty. Purposely pushing your partner away when you’re fighting is a surprisingly common reaction to a fight. Emotionally disconnecting as a form of punishment to your partner is not only unhealthy, it falls under the ‘fighting dirty’ category.
Name calling, low-blows, and physical reactions can be deadly to a relationships well-being. Avoid tarnishing your emotional connection by keeping the lines of communication open. [Read: How to fight fair in a relationship and grow closer]
#7 Talk, talk, talk! Bonding over activities and common interests are a great start, but the strongest emotional connection is built by getting to know your partner and talking to one another on a daily basis. Whether you’re talking about your favorite memories, personal opinions, or what flavor of chip you could really go for right about now, talking regularly creates a strong bond on an intellectual and emotional level. [Read: 25 topics to talk about in a perfectly happy relationship]
#8 Show your love. The simple answer? People like to be liked. One way to bond with someone is by making them feel loved, special, and not to mention S-P-O-I-L-E-D. And we don’t mean with dollar bills. Lavishing attention on your crush and showing them you think they’re one in a million is going to make all the difference in creating an emotional connection with your special someone. [Read: 15 reasons why couples get bored with each other over time]
Some examples of showing your love in little ways to your partner include:
– Celebrating one another’s successes
– Ask about your partner on a daily basis *”How was your day?” “What are you up to?”*
– Regularly text one another
– Let your partner know when you think about them throughout the day
– Create inside jokes together
– Expressing your attraction for your partner
– Showing forgiveness
[Read: Emotional intimacy or sexual intimacy: Chicken or the egg?]
Creating an emotional connection with your crush or partner shouldn’t be hard. We hope with these tips and tricks you’ll be one step closer to building an emotional connection with your honey-bunny.
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Waverly Smith is a freelance writer who has been getting paid for spreading her sarcastic take on love, life, and sex since 2010. She is many things that peo...
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