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Throuple Relationship Rules: 15 Tips to a Happy Threesome Romance

Romantic relationships aren’t only meant for two people. If you’re looking for a relationship that fits three of you, it’s called a throuple relationship.

throuple relationship rules

I know you may have thought that relationships can only consist of two people, but that’s simply the traditional way of looking at things. Not to say that a two-person relationship is wrong. It’s not, but there are also other forms of intimate relationships that you can have, including a throuple.

What is a throuple?

Don’t get this mixed up with a sexual threesome, throuple relationships are completely different. A throuple is an intimate relationship between three people, whereas a typical threesome is a sexual encounter with two other people.

In other words, think of a throuple relationship as any other intimate relationship just with another person added. [Read: How to get past the jealousy of sharing love in a poly relationship]

The rules for throuples – The dos and don’ts that can’t be ignored

Three is company. And these rules play a big part in a happy throuple.

#1 Communication is essential. You thought communicating with another person was a challenge? Try two other people. Listen, if you want a successful throuple relationship, you’re going to need to make sure your communication is top-notch.

You cannot leave any room for interpretation. It’ll take some work, but you’ll find the best way to communicate. [Read: Easy communication games to be a better lover]

#2 Allow it to grow naturally. Think of this relationship the same way you would of a regular two-person relationship. This means you can’t force the relationship to develop. You may notice that after some time, you three aren’t a great combination and that’s okay. The more you force it, the less likely it’ll work out. [Read: Could you actually be happy in a polyamorous relationship?]

#3 Don’t start a relationship with only one person in the throuple. This isn’t a threesome where you’re with one person and allow another person to join in from time to time. No. You’re in a relationship with two other people.

This may be obvious to you, but when you’re in the heat of the moment it’s easy to forget it. Your relationship with one person will affect the other person’s relationship with the both of you.

#4 Have clear expectations and needs. You have needs and expectations from the relationship, right? Well, this is the time to talk about them. Before you even start the relationship, sit down with your partners and talk about what you’re all expecting and needing from the relationship. Then, you’ll be able to see what you can get and give to one another.

#5 State the boundaries right away. Boundaries are everything. Though you may have feelings for both of these people and think it’s going to be perfect, talk about the boundaries right away. What is it that you don’t like, what they don’t like, etc. If you don’t know what they are, this is when problems arise. [Read: How to set boundaries in your relationship]

#6 Be flexible. Not physically, but being physically flexible isn’t a bad thing either. There are three of you in a relationship so you’re going to need to be more flexible with each other. Some things may not work out or be in your favor, but you can’t always have it your way, especially with three people involved.

#7 Talk through problems ASAP. Do not let issues sit. I know when it comes to talking about problems it can get uncomfortable but it’s much better than an explosive fight a month down the road. Not talking about your problems in your throuple will only lead to issues down the road. Even the smallest of problems you must talk about.

#8 Drop the jealousy. I can’t tell you that you’re not going to have moments of feeling jealous. You are. You’re only human. Regardless of how open you are, there are going to be moments where you’re feeling jealous. However, you’re going to need to control your jealousy as that can negatively affect your relationship.

#9 You don’t always need to be a trio. There will come some times where one of you are busy and can’t make it. But that’s okay, you should be spending one-on-one time with your partners. You don’t need to always be together as a trio, nor do you always have to have sex all together. [Read: How to have a threesome with all the right rules]

#10 You’re all equal. When it comes to a throuple, you are all equal. If it was a threesome, there’s a chance for someone to receive more attention than the other, however, as a throuple, you’ll need to create a balance. If you view each other as equal, then you’ll treat each other as equal. [Read: How to manage your expectations in a relationship]

#11 Be organized. There are three of you and you all have your own schedules. You may work days while one of your partners’ works nights. See where it can get challenging?

So, whether you’re seeing each other all at once or going on separate dates from time to time, make sure you have your schedule organized or else it can become a mess.

#12 Have any confessions? You’ll need to be honest in your relationship. In addition, you’re also going to need to know when you admit things. You may be feeling jealous, but this is a golden opportunity to talk to your throuple about it. They’re in a relationship with you, so you need to feel comfortable opening up with them.

#13 Everyone should win. Everyone should be gaining something from the relationship. If you’re not getting what you want from it, then you need to talk to your throuple. If you’re still not getting what you want, then you may need to find new partners.

#14 Be open to negotiation. Regardless of how many people are in the relationship, you’re going to need to negotiate and make sacrifices. No one said you’re going to get everything you want from your throuple. You have two other people that have needs and desires as well. [Read: Everything you need to know about polyamorous dating]

#15 Relax and have fun. Ultimately, you’re going to need to relax and enjoy the experience. Sure, like any relationship you’ll have bad moments but there is going to be a lot of laughter, intimacy, and, of course, amazing sex. So, just have fun and enjoy every second.

[Read: More about what polyamory is and why people are switching to it]

Looking for something different than a traditional two-person relationship? Consider a throuple. Just use these tips for a successful and healthy relationship.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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